Tuesday, September 6. 2011
PLEASE NOTE: Office hours are now available. Just add your name in the ten-minute slot of your choice, and make sure you send me an e-mail explaining what you'd like to discuss 24 hours in advance! (If you need to send me a file, please attach it to that e-mail.)
Those who would like to look over the blog guidelines can try the PDF or Word document.
I recommend waiting until you’ve read "The Brahmin's Son" - the first chapter of Siddhartha - before reading and responding to this thread, as it will make more sense to you then. Then again, the first chapter may make more sense if you've already seen which questions I’ll be asking. It's up to you!
Please remember to nominate two posts by Thursday night!
”Our sons are born because...well, because they must be born and when they come to life they take our own life with them. This is the truth. We belong to them but they never belong to us.”
The end of “The Brahmin’s Son” is very near and dear to my heart, partly due to my fondness for that understatedly powerful sort of writing and partly due to my own departure from home.
When I was little, I told my mother – repeatedly – that I wasn’t going to move out until I was thirty years old. Why thirty? Beats me. I was seven and had no intention of ever leaving the house I loved, and thirty seemed like it was forever and a day away. (Now I’ll be thirty in less than four years…weird how that happens.)
Obviously, I didn’t follow through: I graduated and left home at eighteen, twelve years before I said I would. But when I went off to school, I went away – I had no car, very little money, etc. I went from a 7,800-person town populated by middle-class suburban and rural white people to a college located just beyond a “Los Angeles City Limits: Population 3,795,800” sign and surrounded by Spanish-language billboards. Going it alone was far more of a change than I expected, and I had a rough first semester. I had pretty much no one to ask for advice – no one else came down to Southern California except an ex-girlfriend with whom I'd shared an exciting-but-rocky Tom Hanson/Summer Finn-style courtship (ah, young love) – and I wouldn’t have known what to ask anyway. There were a lot of days when I couldn’t remember why I had come to Southern California, and a lot of days when I felt I had made a huge mistake.
But I’m stubborn. I refused to acknowledge what I was feeling, dug my heels in deeper, stopped calling home – did virtually everything to worsen the separation, even though it was that separation that hurt. My mindset was very weird: I simultaneously decided that I was in over my head and that I didn’t much care about getting back to the surface. I had made a decision, and I was just going to march forward.
My parents realized I was unhappy. They hated the fact that I was so far away. They didn’t like Southern California; they still don’t. They could have forced my hand whenever they wanted – pulled the funds they’d been sending to college.
They didn’t. They never wrote to suggest I come home, never called and told me to return. They left me alone.
My father and I went on a college-visit road trip during my final semester of high school. I was an apathetic prospie – I didn’t want to leave my friends and home – but I decided that since everyone else was leaving, I just needed to fall in somewhere. Not very ambitious.
But every time I asked my father to make a suggestion, every time I hinted that I wanted him to make the decision for me, he refused. He explained to me that it was his duty to draw on his experiences to teach me as I grew up – and that it was also his duty to let me chart my own course, no matter how he felt about my choices. I have to let you make mistakes, he said; they’re your mistakes to make. And he said nothing else.
This drove me crazy. I wanted him to tell me that Cal Poly San Luis Obispo was the best choice, that the University of Puget Sound would make me truly happy, that UC Santa Cruz would allow me to grow as a writer – heck, I wanted him to insist that I was making a mistake and demand that I needed to stay home. Anything to plant a target. Anything to point the arrow.
Instead, he went on every tour with me, soaking in the campuses quietly, always observing, never imposing the views he had formed. I chose Occidental - moved four hundred and fifty miles away and never moved back.
When I was older, I asked him if that had been hard for him, if it had been difficult to see me just flopping about like a stranded fish during the college search. He told me that he never doubted I’d find something that made me happy, but that he knew that I had to find my own way, and that he couldn’t possibly pick that way for me. It was hard to know I was unhappy, hundreds of miles away, but he trusted my judgment even more than I did, and was willing to let me learn through success or failure.
And when my little sister repeated the “college road trip” four years later…well, so did he. Quietly.
I ended up OK. Occidental became the right place for me over time. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have gone into teaching had I enrolled elsewhere. I would have led a completely different life, and I don’t think it would have measured up to the one I’m leading now.
I was lucky enough to have parents who trusted me to do the right thing, even though I wasn’t really trying to do it. As fate would have it, I ended up justifying that faith.
In many ways, Siddhartha’s father made the same decision as my father, albeit more stubbornly. Both men looked into the eyes of their sons and realized that boys no longer returned their gazes. Both men understood (eventually) that while sons may follow (unconsciously or not) in the footsteps of their fathers – that we bear their hopes and burdens equally – the time had come to pull back. And both allowed their sons to leave the only homes each had ever known, burying the pain that followed.
Siddhartha never speaks with his father again. I’m grateful for the chance to speak with mine, and grateful for the choices he made. His decision to take a hands-off approach to my collegiate departure may not have been the right one for everyone, but it was the right one for his only son: I got to aim before I launched the arrow, and I hit the target.
+ Reflect back on your reading of War, a story about the relationships between fathers and sons that ends quite differently from “The Brahmin’s Son.” I began this post with a quote from that story. Having read both stories (and lived in your own skin for seventeen to eighteen years), please explain whether that sentiment is accurate, as well as why.
+ You haven’t left home yet, but Departure Day draws nearer with every passing moment. Will your parents make a decision similar to the one my father – or Siddhartha’s – made?
+ Do you think you could make the same type of decision as the fathers I've discussed when your own children are grown? Will you treat them the way my father treated me, or will you take a different tack?
+ Is Siddhartha’s father’s decision wise?
+ What about Govinda’s decision to leave the village with Siddhartha? He doesn’t want to leave the village, and yet he follows Siddhartha. It’s an incredible show of loyalty – but is it a wise or healthy decision? Once again, could you see yourself making a similar decision?
+ Should we admire Siddhartha for his choices? Should we criticize him? If faced with similar circumstances, could you make the same choice? Would you?
+ Finally, Siddhartha goes in search of…something. Maybe truth...perhaps fulfillment, or a cure for restlessness...even a simple sense of peace. He has very little idea of how to find any of it; he’s looking for something, but he doesn’t quite understand what he’s looking for yet.
Do you know what you’re looking for?
This post is due at 11:59pm on Thursday, September 8th.
Please try to post insightful, specific, and polished pieces. Your post should be at least two seven-sentence paragraphs long, and punctuation, grammar, and mechanics all count towards your grade. Compose your replies carefully, and always remember to build your credibility - use proof, not hypothetical statements. Write the why for every what!
As always, you are not required to respond to every question.
For this post, written feedback for two of your peers is required! Congratulate them, praise them, ask them questions...reach out! There’s no comment limit for this thread, so if you feel like talking to your peers, follow your instincts! (You can even do this for anonymous posters; they’ll be reading the thread to see how you respond.) Check your work to see if someone left feedback for you, and start conversations with your readers – and classmates!
One more thing: as you develop as writers, your pieces should look more and more constructed. By that, I mean they should demonstrate not simply knowledge of writing as a craft, but an awareness of how to make your work truly profound. As we move through the semester, practice writing not simply as students, but as creators. Experiment with writing, in other words, as writers do.
As always, write well, think well…and good luck.
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Relationships between fathers and sons have gone back thousands of years and are present in all living creatures. There is a trust and responsibility instilled that does not necessarily have to be stated anymore. In Luigi Pirandello's short story "War", he states that our sons do not belong to us, "they belong to the country"(Pirandello). I believe that Pirandello is completely accurate because I know that just because my parents are constantly there for me, the harsh reality is that they cannot control who I am or what I become. They can only try to guide me and point me in the correct direction. As time passes, I grow and become my own person, taking pieces of what my father has left or taught me and becoming part of the country just as billions of others have.
June 11th 2012- it haunts me every night when I sleep. This is the day my life will change completely. The day I leave my parents’ umbrella of protection will be the day that I, in my mind, become a real man. My parents have always been supportive of me since the day I was born. They have always backed every decision I have made no matter how absurd it was. I know my parents will gently set me into what they call “the real world” just as Siddhartha’s father had done.
Siddhartha’s father knew that his son’s mind was set on leaving home. He knew that his son’s tenacity was stronger than the power of time and realized that he could no longer hold onto his beloved son. If he did not let his son leave, he knew that his son would eventually lose respect and run from home anyways. I know that when I grow older and have my own children, I will establish a trust with them so that they can venture the world just as Siddhartha had. Although I know I will worry for children of my own, I strongly believe that allowing my children to discover the world on their own is the most beneficial way to venture into it.
Govinda’s loyalty proves to be extremely strong when he decides to leave town with Siddhartha no matter how much he did not want to leave. This decision completely compromised his plans for life and his personal goals. Although both Govinda respects and praises Siddhartha for his adventurous and knowledge-seeking ways, I would never be able to give up all my potential goals and comfortable home to follow let alone search the world on my own for something that I don’t know that I’m looking for.
Just like Jon Gertner’s “The Futile Pursuit of Happiness” I can’t “predict what will make us happy or unhappy”(Gertner). However, what I do know is where I want to end up in life. I have goals and ideas of how my adulthood may lay out even though I do not know the exact components of every detail of my future. I know I want to find happiness, comfort, and hopefully somewhere along the lines: wealth.
First, I would like to say that it was very brave of you to be the first to post and I really admire your courage for doing so.
I really agree with you when you said "I know that when I grow older and have my own children, I will establish a trust with them so that they can venture the world just as Siddhartha had." I believe that trust is one of the most important elements in a parent/child relationship. Or in any sort of a relationship for that matter. Siddhartha's father has taught him everything, he has proved to his father that he IS wise and trustworthy. If his father had not trusted Siddhartha's decision to leave, what kind of a relationship would that have left between them considering Siddhartha has done absolutely nothing for his father not to respect his decisions and support him on them.
In other words, I agree with you.
So great job, you really made your points clear and maintained your focus.
Thanks madison! I was definitely really scared to post first. I was really wondering while no one else was posting. I think just like Siddhartha's father, my parents have really prepared me for life, and ultimately prepared me to prepare my own kids when I have them. If that makes any sense.
I really like your thinking. You are completely right about parents preparing their children for life and how it begins to turn into a domino effect. It makes sense.
I agree also. I liked reading about your life and you really put your experience into depth.
Simon, I also admire that you were the first to post, because it’s the beginning of the year, some of us don’t know that many people in the class, and just like Feraco said; one way or another, we need to get over being shy. I don’t mean to say that you are chy, but you did an excellent job avoiding it; much respect! It is very true when you explained the relationships between fathers and their sons, I agreed with you so much, I tried it myself! Good response and I look forward to reading your future blog posts in “The River,” even though this blog has nothing to do with an actual river, or flowing body of water. Strange isn’t it? Haha!!
Simon, included in your last paragraph you bring up a point that I agree on. I noticed how the first component of your future wasn’t wealth instead it was last. You mention you want to find happiness, comfort, and then you incorporate the wealth aspect. I think that since we are still considered young and unwise, we have not yet experienced all of life’s obstacles and incidents but we have a clear view or conception of what we want to aim for. I personally feel that if you chase so called “happiness” first, you will find yourself knocking down different aspirations one by one as you go along. Therefore, I believe it is in our best interest if we let go of the standard, “Go to college so you can get a job and make lots of money to buy a huge house, then you will be happy!” sort of mentality and focus on doing the things that truly make us happy, and aim for that.
Hey Simon! I read your post and can sympathize with you on the fact that on June 11th we become "men". We start to live for ourselves, learn things, and gain much needed life experience.
As for the Govinda part, would you lose everything to start something new if it it with someone you deeply admire?
Great post overall!
Hi Simon! I really like your post, especially the last paragraph where you can't predict the future. Like everyone we can't predict the future, we definitely know what we want and will try to achieve it.
I also admire that you were the first the post. Your post was really good and I like how you described graduation. I also wouldn't be able to give everything up to follow another person. However, I feel that Govinda didn't give up his own goals to pursue Siddhartha. Instead, I think that he advanced closer to his dreams by following Siddhartha's path.
I liked the part when you said you will become a man when you leave your parents, and your word choice really puts an emphasis on your argument.
Hey Simon! You got impressing ideas in your post, and you are very brave to be the first one to post. Great work!
Simon! I totally agreed when you mentioned that in reality, you're parents can't totally control who or what you will become. It sucks for our parents if you think about it but sometimes you just need to let the people you love do their own thing and watch them grow.
Hi Simon ! I read you second paragraph and it really made me sit here and think about what was really happening on June 11. We will all be leaving, and we won't be coming back. We will probably never see most of the people we knew for the last 4 years of our lives again. This reality is really scary. Thank you for making me realize it though. It makes me appreciate my time with everyone a lot more.
Thank you Simon ! Good Job !
I applaud you for going first. Your word choice was especially interesting and thought provoking. I also felt that the examples you made really tied your piece together and helped it sound that much more coherent. All in all, it was very good, polished, and neat.
I agree with Simon L, we will never be able tp predict how our future will end up but we can try to guide it in the direction that we want it to go...if everything works to our favor (which it wont always do) then in a way we can kinda predict what happens but not for certain.
My whole life I've always had my family by my side, always there to tell me whats right or wrong. I started trying to become independent around 4th grade with certain things to try to do them on my own. Yet my parents were and still are A L W A Y S there. I still try to break away but they still pull me back,but with an even tighter grip. I always told my parents I would want my children to be independent to learn from there mistakes and hopefully from others as well.
Of course I will always want the best for my children and would always be there for them period. No one tells you how to be a mother or a good parent, you learn as you go and you just do your best. I would want my children to have to best and want to be around but i can't control that aspect. All i could do is guide them the best away possible if they decide not to take it then all i could do is be there if they may fall.
After I read your story, I really understand you because I had the same situation as yours when I was a kid. When I was first grade, my teacher taught me what independence is. From that day, I started to be independent and doing things by myself. Once, I found out there was an annoying problem and I felt really depressed, I tried to solve it but I couldn’t. However, my parents were there, my brother was there and my aunt was there. We solved the problem together after I told them about the problem. In that moment, I felt that I shouldn’t disconnect from my family. Family is where I get support and love whenever I feel depressed or I meet adversity. Finally I understood the meaning of independence. It does not mean being alone or doing things alone, but it is a thing that makes you have the acknowledgement of managing your things those kinds of stuffs. I think reaching independence when my family is next to me is not a bad thing. Family is not a blockade to block us from reaching independence. It is a stepping stone in our lives to help us to get independence easier by somehow.
I agree. Everyone want to make their own decisions and choices without other people control. My parents use to be like yours. They have always been strict and overprotected. To me, it give me the idea that they don't trust me. They don't trust my decisions and choices in life. The feeling of not being trusted by the ones you love really bugs me. As I got old, i have more rights to make my own choices like getting my licences. After many months of family meetings, I finally convened my parents to trust me with driving.
I totally agree with you. I think everyone needs to be able to make their own decisions without anyone to control them. Being independent or trying to be independent from early age will definitely help you in the future, because you learn from your mistakes in early age. Also, by the time when you're about to leave for college you will practically be an adult, and you will be able to make the right decisions.
I admire your short response not only because I am lazy to read the longs ones, but because its right to the point like the others should be.
i agree with you no one tells you how to be a parent you just figure it out. i have friends than have children and i cant believe how they do it. parenting is not easy especially if your going to school or have a job.
I like your post, but I think your first paragraph is left unfinished.
Just as it has been mentioned before; relationships between fathers and sons are eternal. In ways how they have been the normal standard, and the bonds and fundamentals that hold them together. For instance, remember Simba from “The Lion King,” he was tricked into killing his father by his “loving” uncle that claimed he knew what was best for him. Even though it really was never Simba’s fault, he still loved Mufasa with all his heart, and knew that his dad was by his side no matter what. I also thin Siddhartha is the same way twords his father, no matter what life puts on his plate My relationship with my dad has been amazing. I’m not trying to sound ignorant, but it really has. There have been ups and downs, twists and turns; but we still get through them. I defiantly haven’t been in Simba’s shoes (or “paws” if you want to get technical); but I have defiantly been pretty damn close a few times. I know that eventually, I will want to move out, just like Siddhartha wanted to, but I know I will take a different road that he does, and that worrying about my father and his situations wont be that much of an issue, because I hope I wont have to move thousands of miles away because life calls for it.
I honestly don’t know what I’m looking for in life, hell, I’m only 17! Some people claim that right out of college, they will be successful with nice cars, nice houses, have all the cute girls, throwing parties every night, just like Gatsby. Then I ask them why, what the sole purpose they feel is in store for them when, and if they reach that level. They just simply answer, “I don’t know.” I don’t have a very good idea either, I don’t know what ill be doing after high school, hopefully find a job, even though it is very hard in this economy now a days. I’m optimistic in most of my “life” choices, but not on the topic of what I know for sure I will be doing the rest of my life. What if I get fired because I have racked up an insane amount of days being sufficiently late? Fail to come to work one day without notice? The list goes on an on, and we still don’t know why. Maybe that’s life, guess that’s just the way it goes. I feel just like Siddhartha, I’m on this long journey we call life, and I have no idea where I’m going. I’m negative on the idea of succession in life, I’m just being practical for myself.
Nice references to the Lion King and Great Gatsby. They tie in well with your responses. Most people fail to aknowledge the fact that reality can be viewed through movies and literature.
I completely agree! While family ties (hopefully) remain strong in the long run, it is essentially our job to move on and make our own decisions. Parents hope to guide us in the right direction, but no road is exactly the same for everyone. And it takes some longer to know than others. Parents should understand that we can only ever consider what they have to say. Ultimately, we make our decisions based on what we feel works for us, and we, as people, learn from successes, mistakes, and failures. We have a whole unpaved road ahead of us. We have time to make the decision. A person just needs to know what best suits them. And to figure that out, they need to fly the coop...to move beyond the comfort of home.
Yeahs.. What DO we look for life. I've always wondered about the purpose of life. Were we created for a purpose or did life just randomly happen about?
I think overall purpose of life is something we all think about. and while we can take as many guesses as we want and find out whats more probably i don't think well ever completely know for sure what our purpose is. life is a giant game of roulette and you just have to place your bets wisely and hope for the best.
Leaving areas one is familiar with can be difficult for both the receiver and the initiator. In “War,” different fathers present numerous cases where each tries to best another after their sons depart for war. Although a strong familial relationship is displayed, selfishness is also portrayed through each fathers’ competition to have the most sorrowful reaction. By having this verbal competition, the parents are clearly worried, displeased, and unsettled because of their children’s departure. Therefore, the quote provided from “War” is valid because although the parents portrayed in “War” as well as real life want to hold on to their children, the reality is that they are only able to guide them in a direction that is suitable equaling to the metaphor of the arrow and the target. As graduation comes, my parents have already experienced the departure of a child and they have slowly prepared me as well. They have been ready for me to start my journey ever since my sister left for college and I have been slowly preparing myself as well.
Siddhartha’s father made the right decision to let him go because if Siddhartha was not allowed he would have probably stayed in the same spot until reaching approval. The approval reveals Siddhartha’s father’s love and trust. Although his father is somewhat hesitant, he ultimately allows him to go and even hopes to get something in return. Unlike Siddhartha’s father, Govinda does not make a smart decision because he does not seem to have the same target Siddhartha has for leaving. The only reasonable motive Govinda is willing to go is because of his loyalty for his friend.
Because I have never read this book and do not know the end to it, I do not think Siddhartha should be admired for his decision to leave because it is too early to determine where his decision will possibly lead him to. What should be admired is his is determination to reach approval. This is something that I could possibly not replicate because I am not prepared to embark on journeys by myself yet. I am not sure what I am looking for right now. There are many different items, aspects, and feelings, but all are transitory at the moment. The only ones that continually repeat are wealth and happiness.
Although Govinda's decision to leave his home clearly wasn't as well thought out as Siddhartha's, I have to disagree with David's claim that it wasn't a smart decision to make. It is clear that Govinda's decision was made based on the loyalty and companionship that he shared with Siddhartha. We all have different motivations for doing the things that we do so who's to say that the reasoning behind Govinda's decision was any less valid than Siddhartha's?
Personally, I can't wait to leave for college. It's the feeling of freedom and independence that excites me. It's knowing that i'll be able to make my own decisions and deal with the consequences on my own without my parents constantly advising and instructing me. With that being said, I know that other people have completely different motivations for leaving their parents behind to go where they need to go. Some people may hate the idea of being independent and leaving the protection of their parents but are still compelled to leave their families behind in order to pursue their goals, whether it be love, identity, security, enlightenment, or independence.
Tying back to Govinda; although he made his decision for different reasons than Siddhartha, it was a decision that was fueled by his loyalty and companionship that he shared with Siddhartha and therefore shouldn't be considered unwise. Both Siddhartha and Govinda should be admired for their choices because they knew what they wanted and went for it.
Siddhartha and Govinda might not have had perfectly clear ideas of what they were looking for, but I believe that there was one single idea at the core of their decisions; happiness. I believe that happiness is what every person the the world strives to attain. When someone is asked what they are looking for in life, they might respond with "love", "wealth", or even more specific physical or emotional desires. Ask yourself, WHY do we want to be loved? WHY do we want wealth? Is it because we want to spend the rest of our life with someone we love? Is it because we want fancy cars and giant houses? In the end, we want these things because we feel that they will make us happy, and although Jon Gertner’s “The Futile Pursuit of Happiness” states that we can’t “predict what will make us happy or unhappy”(Gertner), that certainly doesn't and shouldn't stop us from trying.
^^ That was meant to be my main post, not a reply. My mistake.
It is true that Govinda might not have the same reasons, but it seems that he is only following Siddhartha just blindly, without motivation except Siddhartha. He does not seem to have the same motivation or determination as Siddhartha.
Besides this, your submission seemed really interesting, especially the aspects about being away from your parents.
What makes you feel that Govinda's bond with Siddhartha is not enough of a reason to leave his home? Neither Siddhartha nor Govinda has a firm grasp of what they are looking for in life so what makes Govinda's decision unwise in comparison to Siddhartha's? They are both making decisions that they feel will ultimately leave them happy.
Govinda was already satisfied with his life. However when Siddhartha announced his change of plans, Govinda followed him. I would say blindly again but there was probably some thought. Siddhartha seemed to be the catalyst of Govinda's decision.
I'm kinda in between you two. Whereas I think Govinda may have made a bit of a ,what some of us consider foolish, decision, it's not like he made without a lot of thought. Siddhartha's reaction to Govinda's appearance means that even Siddhartha didn't think Govinda would go with him. Besides, I think he IS still pursuing his happiness. It was made clear that Govinda believes his life is to be with Siddhartha and to be with him during his exceptional life. So following Siddartha IS technically following his goal.
Yes i will agree that Siddharthus was the catalyst of Govinda's decision. However my whole point is that this shouldn't make his decision any less valid. Govinda's expectations of this departure may be less ambitious than Siddharthus but does that necessarily make it less wise? They are simply pursuing different things.
"What makes you feel that Govinda's bond with Siddhartha is not enough of a reason to leave his home? Neither Siddhartha nor Govinda has a firm grasp of what they are looking for in life so what makes Govinda's decision unwise in comparison to Siddhartha's? They are both making decisions that they feel will ultimately leave them happy."
I totally agree with you here, Devin. (: Exactly what I want to say.
What makes you think Govinda's bond with Saddhartha does not provide insight as to why he would uproot his life to follow him? Govinda had an immense love for him because he could see a mark of greatness inherent in Saddhartha as Saddhartha's father had. People leave their lives behind to follow those marked with remarkable destiny, such as the Apostles did for Jesus, the Knights of the Round Table for King Arthur, and Myrmidons for Achilles. If you saw a chance to follow one of the remarkable people on a journey, would you not do it? Personally I would drop everything and just go.
I agree with Devin. If Govinda's decision is valid based on his love for Siddartha and he is just trying to do what makes him happy.
Devin! I like what you wrote. I can't wait to leave home either. Not that I don't love it here, its just that I feel ready for something new. I'm sure ill be more nervous when the time actually comes, but I can't wait to be independent.
I also agree with you that Govinda's decision to leave the village was just as valid as Siddhartha's. Although Siddhartha leaves to seek the truth that he cannot find in the village, Govinda follows him to seek his own destiny that is created through his loyalty to Siddhartha.
Devin i agreed with what you wrote. I want to leave to a new world and try out new things and make something of myself
I really like your connection between "War" and the metaphor of the arrow and the target. Parents can point us in the right direction but in reality it is our life to lead, our path to walk.
Both the father in the War and the father of Siddhartha are able to suppress their true feelings for their respective sons. The father of the dead soldier conditions himself to believe that his son’s death is honorable and a blessing, while Siddhartha’s father allows Siddhartha to become a Samana against his own better judgment. But suppressed feelings always have a way of bubbling to the surface, like a capped volcano that just keeps building pressure. In War, the father’s disillusion is shattered by the woman in the train, and all his sorrow comes rushing back. We often conceal true emotions for the ones we love, either for their own good or to prevent them from hurt, and in doing so, often feel a sense of noble self-pity for our “good” deed. Ultimately though, this practice harms both parties more than it helps. Feelings are meant to be expressed, ESPECIALLY with the ones that we love.
Maybe Siddhartha’s father ultimately reconciles with his decision to let Siddhartha go; I don’t know because I haven’t finished the book yet. But the rest of us aren’t all Buddhist monks ready for tremendous self-sacrifice. We’re human. And the most basic part of human nature is emotions. My mom has already told me, tells me everyday, that she will miss me when I go to college, and asks me to come home as often as I can. I know I’ll miss my parents and my brother, but that doesn’t stop me from moving on. But knowing that my family misses me back home will drive me to work harder in college, so as to not leave them for nothing. It will give me hope and drive. Unlike in Korean dramas, where the main characters always refuse to admit their love for each other until the very last episode, people that have the courage to admit their feelings ultimately end up happier.
I liked the simile comparing emotions to a volcano and think it is a good way to convey that emotions are often explosive and cannot be contained. I also agree on how emotions should be expressed to people you care about and love. They are the ones that know you best and the ones that are there for you when you need them.
I’m loud. I speak up and I say what is on my mind. This does not mean that I always wish to share my opinion or that I always do. But I am still known for being loud because I am good at controlling my environment. I surround myself with people I know well and am not shy or timid around them. Hence, people who know me think I am loud. In “Nice to Know You”, Walter Mischel tells readers that someone’s character “isn’t what we think it is or, rather, what we want it to be”, our “character is more like a bunch of habits and tendencies and interests, loosely bound together and dependent, at certain times, on circumstance and context.” When we control our environment, we control our characters. Therefore, we begin to make who we are and create an identity for ourselves through our environment. But to create that identity, first, we must find what we are searching for, our wants and needs from life. As human beings, we endlessly are on the search for our own identity, something that defines us and sets us aside from everyone else. But once we have found the aspect of ourselves that makes us different, does this mean we are finished with our search?
Siddhartha is special. He is talented and has made his parents proud. However, he does not feel fulfilled with whom he is and a change in his environment may help him find the character traits that will bring him happiness. Siddhartha’s decision to leave is brave and not one that many people could make. Most become comfortable in the environment they have created and do not have the courage within them to change. Still, many of us do change our environment at the age of 18. We leave home and an identity is born. For this reason, I, in fact, look forward to college. I have yet to find what I am searching for in life. Whatever it may be, like Siddhartha, I hope to find it with the change of my current environment.
The decision to change our environment is not only difficult, because it is taking a step into the unknown but sometimes different factors come into play which make this tough decision even harder. My parents are quite the opposite of Siddhartha’s father. They are much like many of the parents in “War” who have trouble grasping the concept of their children leaving home for their country. One of the families even broke “up their home at Sulmona to follow [their son] to Rome.” By doing this, they are not helping their son in any way. They are continuing their sheltering of a boy who is about to be sent to the front of a war. The same goes with my parents who wish to have me go to college close by although in a short amount of time I will be sent out into a world where I will not always be able to rely on my parents. For a parent, the letting go of a child is a war within itself. When a parent must accept a complete separation between them and their child for the first time since their birth is no easy battle to win. Yet this change in environment is necessary for all young adults. I am definitely not who I will be in 20 years, not even 5 years. I may possess some of the same qualities but until I find what I am searching for, I am merely living the life my parents have given me and waiting to start my own.
Your first line caught my eye! I absolutely agree with what you had to say about our environment. We do settle in whatever we are given, and many of us are still trying to discover who we really are and who we want to be. At 18, when we head off to college, we step foot into a free and independent life, in which we can be exactly ourselves without our parents navigating our every move.
When you described yourself, I could actually picture you in my mind.
Thanks Cristina. Its really satisfying that you completely understood what I was trying to say. A change in environment is not only important but essential to find who we truly are. I don't even think it has to be an enormous change in where we are, it could be as simple as changing schools (high school to college) that can help give us the necessary push to find what life we wish to lead.
I completely agree with your first paragraph. It pretty much is and example of my life, I don’t let people get to me, and I just live life; much like your self. It is true, we all have our own characters inside each and every one of us; some of them are only released around certain people that we are more “relaxed” around, and others we show everyday. Your sentry was legit, and I’m glad I read it!
Thank you very much. I am glad you liked it.
It is true that we control our environments to how we feel the most comfortable. Such as, if you do not feel comfortable speaking in large groups, you will most likely be seen as shy. However, that same person could take on a completely different character when surrounded in a smaller group of people that he/she knows well. That same person could end up being the most talkative of them all. Environment plays a huge role in how others interpret who we are.
I agree with Cristina. Your first line was so simple yet so eye-catching. As high school students, we have yet to create our "identity" and I feel like when we become 18, we are actually 1 year old in the adult world. GREAT POST!
I really enjoyed all of your connections and examples. Also, the beginning was very eye catching and made me read the rest of your response. Good job.
THis is by far one of the best blog's I came across on the thread today
I think that Siddhartha’s father made a slightly reckless choice. He knows the dangers of venturing with the groups of samanas and their hardships they go through, yet he gives in to Siddhartha’s tenacity and just hopes for the best. In my experiences, my father would always lecture me about me doing something. I was at a friend’s house and I asked if I could go with my friend to see a movie. My dad would give some “statistical” reason as to why I should not be doing the thing I am doing, but in the end he gave up similarly to the way Siddhartha’s father did. I feel that, as a Brahmin, he should have known that he has more authority and should have added a bit more elbow grease on dissuading Siddhartha from journeying outside of the village with his fellow samanas.
I do not know what exactly what I am looking for, but I have a slight clue as to what is. I am currently searching for a profession that would suit me well, I have looked from at jobs that varied from naval jobs to being an actuarial scientist. Nothing so far has sparked my interest but I think I will discover it in due time. I wanted to find the job that would fit me, because I visited various colleges and all of them had a plethora of disciplines ranging from corn chemist to electrical engineers. I was somewhat fascinated about the majors that I would eventually enroll into, but I still did not know what suited me. Even to this day, after consulting with my brother-in-law and various counselors, I still do not know what field of profession I would like to venture.
I would have to disagree with you on your statement that Siddartha's father made a reckless choice. On the contrary I think that his reasoning behind letting Siddartha go was true to the very tip of the arrow. His father could see that he was only there waiting physically but in his heart Siddartha had already left. Rather than discourage his son, he provides a way for them to continue their father son relationship by asking him to come back even if he didn't learn anything.
Interesting opinion. Your writing is very straightforward and to the point. However, it lacks fluidity in my opinion because when I read through it, it seemed like I wasn't getting any deeper in your insight. Also, I think you should expand more on your statements and focus more on why you think Siddhartha's dad was wrong, not YOUR dad. But, you do have an interesting point that Sid's dad didn't exert enough force...
I agree with what Yantsey says about your paper, Andrew.
The most difficult task for many parents is to let their child go free into the world. They will be unable to help them with their troubles or comfort them when they get hurt. However, no matter how much it hurt Siddharta’s father, he had to let Siddharta go. Siddhartha is simply not happy in his home village and “had begun to feel the seeds of discontent within him.” Siddhartha has nothing left to learn in his small village and will never feel complete until he moves on. His father finally understands this and allows Siddharta to choose his own path in life. By not confining his son, Siddharta’s father acknowledges his son as an independent adult who can make wise choices on his own.
Even though Siddharta has hurt his father tremendously, he has made the right decision about choosing to experience life outside of the sheltered village that he has known. Should an eagle be caged or should it be allowed to soar in the sky? Siddharta should be praised for his boldness to venture into the unknown. He understands that nobody should or can make decisions for him.
My family is much the same way as Siddharta’s family. During early childhood, I was sheltered by my parents, taught to know what is right and what is wrong. I was taught morals and given opinions on how to do things. However as I matured, I was allowed the freedom to explore and learn from mistakes. This is key to choosing one’s own unique path in life. I believe that when I go off to college to start my adulthood, my parents, even with tears in eyes, will willingly send me off. And that will be the right decision.
I really like your question, "Should an eagle be caged or should it be allowed to soar in the sky?", and I believe that we should let that eagle soar in the sky. I think that we should always give our children a chance to try. Even they may make a mistake and fall down in the unfamiliar world, it is good for them because they can learn from that mistake and avoid doing it next time. Moreover, this will make them grow faster and learn how to be independent quickly. I believe that a parent should always give the widest freedom and support to his children all the time.
When you say parents should willingly send their children off to college, you are absolutely right. While it is certainly heartbreaking for a parent to see his or her child leave them, it is a necessity to do so in order to allow their child to seek out their passions in life. Like you said, with this newfound freedom, one will be able to pursue through accomplishments and mistakes while further discovering who he/she is.
I like the organization of your response, how you first discussed Sidhartha's problems and then related it to your own life. I agree that parents should raise children to their best of their abilities and send them off willingly. But being an investment of 18 years of love and sacrifice, it's hard for many parents to let go of their children.
Nice job. I think you made use of rhetoric in a good way when you wrote that question about whether eagles should be caged or allowed to freely fly.
I can relate to your entire post, and that it one of the reasons why I liked it so much. The thoughts that the last few sentences produced were ones that I have kept inside of me for a very long time. It seems as if you took the words right out of my mouth. I can really relate to the part when you state how your parents will have tears in their eyes when you leave, but they know it's the right decision so they will let you go. That's one of my favorite lines in your post. Great job!
Wow! That was absolutely AMAZING! This is personally my favorite, and even though I do not know you, I must congratulate you for this excellent piece. Your comparing Siddhartha's family to yours was very well put, and the diction was absolutely breath-taking. I also liked how you used a quote from the book. Not many people utilized actual quotes from the book, so I applaud you for going the extra mile. All in all, I believe you deserved a nomination, but the competition was rough indeed.
Since the first breath we have all taken, our parents/guardian have always tried to set out a specific path in which they hope or, like many Arcadia parents, expect for us to follow. However, my parents never really understood the expectations I have set for myself, for them, for school and for life. Even though they try to mold me into what they want me to be, the truth is, they can only offer me direction in which they want me to take and help open doors of opportunities. Ultimately, I choose and decide who I will become and how I will become of it. I will take on the experiences that my parents have left for me and to add on with my future findings. Something that they eventually cannot do, vice versa.
I can see that day coming, when about 800 other students dressed in those bright cardinal drapes proudly walk across the stage in the Santa Anita Race Track. It's the day that my parents watch their last little birdie take flight from the nest they've built. The thought isn't easy, but I know this take off shows that all the hard work and effort they've put into my life has paid off. This will be the day I can officially call myself an adult. The day that I can step foot out of my house as a graduating 18 year old woman.
Like my parents, I will eventually have to build my own strong, stable and comfortable nest to lay my eggs in. As this process begins for my own children, I know that I am readying them for the day that they need to spread their wings and fly. Even though they may decide to make the most stupidest mistakes possible, I will always be there to help guide them, to catch them when they fall and to have faith that they will learn from all their mistakes.
Siddhartha seems want nothing, but to follow his own heart, dreams and desires. Like every human being, we all set foot on what we yearn for and face criticism from even people we love. However, criticism makes us a stronger individual and one does need criticism to see both sides of the choices being made. In the end, these choices shape who we are and who we become.
I like the comparisons to birds and how they live life. I'm pretty sure I would do the same thing as you. Though my parents were pretty liberal when it came to the future, when it comes to the present they are VERY attentive. They can't seem to be willing to leave me along for ten minutes. But we all know it's just cause they love me. Anyway, really like your post!
In your last paragraph, I sort of disagree that people "yearn for criticism". I never look forward to criticism, but when it does come, I take that and use it to my advantage. However, I do understand what you mean when you say that criticism shapes who we are and ultimately makes us stronger. I don't completely agree with everything you say, but i do understand where you are coming from!
I can understand your side of the story, however it is in our nature to look for criticism in order to better ourselves. Where I was heading is that we "yearn" for this because criticism isn't necessarily a bad thing and it really is something that we encounter almost every single moment of the day. When I ask my mommy everyday how I look before I leave for school, she could tell me I look just fine and that would still be considered as a critique. (:
I also think that criticism lets people see in a different perspective, positive or negative. It sometimes gives the person an understanding of what others are thinking (:
Stephanie Huang Period1
-Do you think you could make the same decision when your own children are grown?
I think that I could make the same decision because our children want to explore the world when they are grown up. When they grow older, they will become curious about the things that go around them. They will have a thirst to see the unknown, to learn the new things, and to understand the world. This is like Siddhartha has a thirst of searching the ultimate answer to the enigma of man’s role on this earth. When people grow older, they become more engaged to learn more things. Also, they want to understand the things that are around them. Moreover, I think that this is a quick way for our children to learn how to be independent as well.
Another reason for this is children are not our animals or slaves. They want more freedoms as they are growing up. We cannot keep them with us selfishly, like we cannot keep our animals (for example birds, butterfly) in cage all the time. I always think that children are like birds; the birds will leave their parents one day once they have the ability to fly and survive. Yes, I know that it will be sad when our children decide to leave their parents. However, this is the reality and how life is going on. Therefore, I will give freedom to my children when they are grown up. I always let them choose what they want.
I like your comparison of children with birds. I believe that is true. Every bird leave its nest eventually, and the ones that don't, never get to fly out and see the world out of their nest. Keeping children in their protected nest is not an act of loving and protection but an act of selfishness.
I agree. Children are not parents' slaves or pets. They cannot hold on to them forever. They do not belong to the parents instead they belong to themselves. They have their own mind and can make their own decisions however they want. I like how you compare animals stuck in a cage to parents keeping their children all to themselves, because just as you said children are curious about the things around them, and one day they'll go out to the world all by themselves and discover what those things are.
Great topic! I feel if we do decide to have children, most of our ideas of right and wrong would be vastly different than how we feel today
Graduation. It’s an emotionally packed word comprised of 10 letters that marks the official end of our childhood and the beginning of our lives. Some of us can’t wait to put on the maroon caps and gowns, while the rest of us lose our appetite when we catch the slightest glimpse of maroon. I am a member of the latter group. As the youngest of three girls, I have always been treated like the “baby”. After both of my sisters graduated, I was immediately appointed to the “thank-God-we-have-another-kid” position; my mom’s nest is not quite empty. So, inevitably, my first college visit was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. My mom can’t fathom the thought of her youngest child leaving home, and frankly, I can’t imagine it either. Yes, I want to be an adult. I want to live and become independent. But I am scared to leave home, and adolescence. For this reason, I admire Siddhartha for his thirst for adventure. His choice to leave home, against his father’s will, is a choice made by a young man far beyond his years. Though following the Samanas is a risky decision, Siddhartha wants to experience their way of life. His drive to find the answers to the questions that occupy his mind is commendable. He is itching to travel, dreaming of extending his horizons past the fig garden, the mango wood, and the river bank behind his home. While Siddhartha yearns to move past the physical and mental boundaries that keep him in, I am paralyzed when forced to think about crossing my own.
At this point in my life, I would like if my parents told me where to go to school. I want them to give me their opinion. I want them to point to the school that they know I will succeed at. I want them to tell me what to study and what profession to aim for. I want all of these things. Or at least I want them right now. But, as we all know, we can’t always get what we want. My parents have a level of confidence in me that I don’t have for myself. They will take the same approach as Mr. Feraco’s father; they are going to let me make my own decisions. Knowing my mom, she will struggle just as Siddhartha’s father did. She will warn me about procrastinating, comparing to others, and college boys. She will look at me as I fill out college applications through tear-filled eyes. But just as Siddhartha’s father came to the realization that Siddhartha could no longer remain at home, my mom will come to grips with the fact that it is time for me to move on.
Siddhartha is searching blindly. He knows that he is looking for something, something to satisfy his hunger for knowledge and silence his restless thoughts. However, what he is looking for baffles him. He doesn’t know where to look or what he is supposed to look for. Where do his answers lie? Like Siddhartha, I don’t know what I’m looking for in life. I honestly don’t think any of us do. Sure, I can say that someday I would like to find love. Whether this love I wish to find is a love for another individual or a love for a profession or hobby remains unclear. But as I sit here and think about what I am truly seeking, maybe it isn’t love. Maybe I’m seeking a friend. Maybe I’m seeking the happiness that a domestic partner SHOULD bring you. Perhaps I am seeking someone who understands me and the odd things that make my skin crawl. Or perhaps I am seeking someone who will appreciate me on the days that I can’t fathom to look at myself. Sadly, love is just a word. It’s an overused term that people use when asked what they want in the future. It’s an automatic response for most of us. It’s easy. It’s just as easy to say we want to be wealthy, successful, or popular. But really, these simple words are just props that mask the feelings and desires we are really seeking. Maybe you’re seeking security, and calling it “wealth”. Or maybe you’re seeking an honest friendship, and calling it “popularity”. This brings me back to square one. None of us know what we are truly looking for in life. The next time someone asks me what I want for myself in the future, I know that my immediate response will be “love”. But I am going to challenge myself, and any who reads this post, to look past the immediate response. What are we really looking for?
I really like everything you wrote. I can relate to you about everything from graduation to college to your parents. Your writing was clear, concise, and interesting. You almost sound like Mr. Feraco!
Hey Megan, I definitely feel the same when it comes to graduation. I really get mixed feelings when I think about graduating and going to college and what not. I'm extremely excited to get away from my parents, but at the same time I know I'm going miss their nagging and what not.
But I'm sure everything will be fine!
Megan, I love the way your voice and thoughts jump off the page. I can really feel you speaking to me when I read this and it's amazing.
I really relate to you when you talk about how you wish your parents could make your decisions for college and so on. I feel like letting my mother decide would just make my life so much easier but I also know that eventually I would just get bored. I know it won't be what I'm truly looking for. Well, whatever that is at this point haha.
I really enjoyed reading your paragraphs! Your voice stuck out to me the most, where it felt like you were telling me this and it was interesting to the point where i wanted to read more. Your third paragraph was amazing! And I agree with Rachel when she said you almost sound like Mr. Feraco! Great job!
You have a voice in this response that clearly stands out, and its great! I especially agree with you on your final paragraph. There might be some qualities that we may seek to achieve, but those are more goal-oriented than anything else. So when you ask "What are we really looking for," I don't think there's one distinct answer. In my case, I sure don't know what I'm looking for, but I believe there will be a moment along the road when I feel that I've achieved whatever I was destined to find.
Thank you everyone!!!
And Joseph, I agree. I don't think there is ONE distinct answer. We are all searching for so many things. We are searching to mend hearts that have been broken, to fill holes where people in our lives used to remain, to gain confidence after it has been lost, and the list goes on and on. What we need to do is take the time to physically analyze these things, to look deeper into the goals that we have set for ourselves, you know?
Thanks for taking the time to respond to my post!!
I really like that intro, it was a very nice attention grabber. I could relate to just about everything you said! I enjoyed it a lot!
I really liked reading your post. I can relate to your feeling of graduation. The feeling of graduation is something I look forward to but its the feeling I might get after graduating. I just hope that I will be able to survive life on my own.
Hi Megan, I really like your post and I feel as if I can completely relate to it and how fast everything is going.
Your writing style is absolutely amazing. You have so much voice and you're not afraid to use it! I loved reading your post. I completely understand how you feel when you say that you want to grow up but you don't want to leave home. I relish the comfort of home, but thirst for something different. Thanks for providing such a thoughtful blog. You were easy to relate to and you made me think about things that I have never thought of before.
You are an awesome writer!
I really liked your 1st paragraph
Its kind of hard to believe that one word could make us think and feel so many things
Hey Megan, I completely agree with your blog post. Graduation is a terrifying yet exhilarating moment that I too, simultaneously dread and look forward to. I can also relate to being torn between having my decisions easily be made for me and taking advantage of the liberty I have to make my own choices.
Just like you, I am confused about what I'm searching for in life and I think all our peers feel the same way. I also really like the way you described the word "love." I honestly feel like it's just a word with no meaning now because even when people do not feel love, they still use that word. Overall, this was a great post and I enjoyed reading it
In today’s lesson, “wise” was defined as understanding in addition of knowledge. Siddhartha’s father is definitely knowledgeable about his own life experience. Furthermore, in “The Brahmin’s Son,” Herman Hesse illustrates Siddhartha’s father’s joy “in [Siddhartha’s] intelligent and [thirst] for knowledge.” Siddhartha made his decision to leave the house in order to further his knowledge and pursuit true happiness. Siddhartha’s father, after seeing Siddhartha’s persistence in his belief, sees his determination in search for enlightenment and understands his son’s needs in life. It is truly hard for Siddhartha’s father to make such decision, but it is rather wise for him to acknowledge the best for his child.
Life is almost always conflicted, but decisions need to be made for the better. Govinda’s decision shows not only loyalty, but extreme faith to see his friend succeed and pursuit for further knowledge. This moment can be portrait as the scene in the Bible where Jesus asks Simon Peter to leave everything behind and follow him and later succeeded as an apostle that spread Christianity. However, Govinda knew of this man since as long as he could remember and, virtually, how successful he has become already. Though Govinda didn’t want to leave the town, his desire to follow Siddhartha have overwhelmed those feelings of leaving everything behind. Govinda made a healthy decision for he “knew that [Siddhartha] would not become an ordinary Brahmin]. In many ways I see myself not making a similar decision but given similar choices, like college admissions; yet I don’t have the guts to choose like Govinda. Simply because there isn’t a “Siddhartha” in my life yet.
Did Govinda really make a healthy choice by following Siddhartha? After all, Govinda, who is quite satisfied with his life in the village, decides to leave his home to follow his best friend on a journey that could leave them anywhere. He is either very loyal or very foolish.
If I was given the decision to literally follow my friend into a dangerous voyage to far places, I would think before I impulsively decided to follow him. But then, maybe I haven't found my "Siddhartha" in life.
Adding Govinda’s decision onto Siddhartha’s, it makes pretty logical sense why Govinda have the desire to follow Siddhartha. Siddhartha is Govinda’s idol—in a good way. Govinda’s life is rotating around Siddhartha’s such that he is willing to be his “shadow.” Perhaps, Siddhartha was Govinda’s source of satisfaction. When someone gives me a summary of a movie he/she watched, I’d rather watch it myself. Stock markets today, for example, are life and death or many, yet people take these risks investing in stocks to prosper the future. If I were to follow my friend into a dangerous voyage to far places too, I would think beforehand, but I will turn to him eventually.
When Siddhartha ask for his father’s permission to leave Brahmin, his father was not ready to let him go. But Siddhartha’s father ultimately made the right decision to have faith in his son and let him go when he saw the determination and perseverance Siddhartha had in pursuing what he seeks. Siddhartha would not give up until he gets what he wants. Siddhartha’s father is wise to realize that even though he can physically trap Siddhartha with him, he cannot possible restrain Siddhartha’s mind to yearn for more knowledge and seek for the truth. Contrary to Siddhartha’s father, my father allowed little amount of freedom for my brother and I to do whatever we want and go where ever we go in the past few years. I did not care as much while my brother protested almost every other day. I understand that my parents are trying to protect us from any potential danger, but the way they care about us has worsened the dear relationship they once had with my brother. Relationship takes forever to build but a second to destroy; my brother no longer respects my parents as much as he did before and perhaps this will never change.
Although I disagree with my parents’ decision in restraining our freedom and would like to be a cool parent like Siddhartha’s father, I don’t think that I can make the similar decisions as what I believe in is right. When I have my own children, I will be heartbroken when one day I have to send them away even though it will be against my will. Parting is always difficult. I grew up in a different environment and had a very different group of friend. When the day I found out that I had to move to a different area, I was depressed because I know that I would not be able to leave my friends and head to an unknown place where I basically know nobody. Soon enough I will be leaving my friends again when us seniors head off to different colleges; parting is always painful. Friendship, when compare to parents-children relationship, may seem trivial, but this just shows how much more painful it will be when it comes to departure day.
yeh katherine I don't think i will be able to make the same decisions as Saddartha's dad too. I ll be worried just like you.
Katherine, I agree that parting is extremely difficult. But the situation is a bit different. In Siddhartha’s situation, it was by his own will that he leaves in search of more knowledge. The motivation engulfed the family bonds. As seniors, if we fix our eyes on something we look forward to in life: a high paid job, nice car, big house, essentially the American Dream, we will be able to be determined in our decisions and head past the depressing departure feelings easier. Especially, when life goes on, you will make new friends! Friends that will be ever closer to those of your high/middle school friends.
I think that most parents will be heartbroken to see their children head off to college or move out, but you have to let them have some freedom. Yes, parting is difficult, but soon enough, we will be happy for what they have accomplished.
The decision of parents are really hard to make, because they would want to appreciate their child but also don't want them to be hurt, most parents doesn't give us freedom because they don't want us to become "bad", so they think they will make us "good“ as they hoped~...
Every parent cherish their child their most valuable treasure. They would never want their treasure to have a stretch or taken away from them where they cant get a hold of them. It is hard for every parent to left their child walk out of their protected. Even so, every parents know that in order for their child to shine and acquire more knowledge then there is at home. Letting go is a huge decision for parents.
June 11th 2012- it excites but frighten me. This is the day not only i make the decision for my future but also my parents. My parents always tell me that in order to be independent and intelligent, I have to step out of the nest and begin my own journey of life. Whether it is successful or unsuccessful, that step is necessary. Even through, I know they will have a hard time watching me going off to collage but their decision is certain. They want me to search for my own dreams, begin my own future and take my own path.
My parents's decision is wise and unselfish. I respect the fact that they would let me build my own road and walk my own path. Thirty years from now, I would be in my parents' shoes. Although time changes decisions and thoughts, for now I believe that I would make the same decision as my parents. I would want my child to learn from their failures so they can built stronger roads to walk on. Everyone have the rights to chase after their own future. I would make the same decision as Siddhartha's father, letting the child to achieve their own goals.
Since conception, it has become a person’s first instinct to hold onto the things we care for and cherish (i.e. pets, old toys, that favorite Beatles CD of ours, etc.), and dispose of those which we do not. My aunt had her necklace. My sister had her teddy bear. I have my Disney VHS tapes. When it comes to relationships, this becomes much harder to follow. How do you know if this relationship is a good one? When is it time to let go? And even more importantly, how can the both of you take the separation?
These questions swarm our thoughts, and whatever choice you make, you run on blind faith. Parents have it the hardest—their job is to lead their child, and guide them in the right direction. But maybe that direction may not be the right one for them. My parents have always dreamed of my going into business. For a while, I wanted to, but as I grew older, and formed new ideals and goals, I found that maybe that direction wasn’t the one for me (business forms and I just don’t get along). While I still have no idea what I want to do or where I want to go, I have a good idea on where to start…and, for my parents, that means letting go.
To any parent, that’s the scariest part—to see their child go out on their own, not knowing if they can make it. Siddhartha’s father wanted for his son to follow in his footsteps and become a Brahmin (a career that would undoubtedly bring him success); however, after much deliberation, he made the wise decision to allow for his son to join the Samanas. He must let his son do his own thing, and may never know the result.
After June 15th, it will be my time to fly. I hope that my parents will be as accepting as Siddhartha’s father, but from experience, they most likely won’t. After my departure, my parents will continue to try and influence my decisions. They’ve always felt that a hands-on approach was the best way to go, especially after my older sister’s results fell short of expectations. I know it’s only because they care, and I love them all too much. I understand where they’re coming from, but it’s time for me to be me, and not a puppet for someone to live out their unfulfilled dreams on. One day, when I have kids of my own, maybe I can try to reach some middle ground. I can try to influence their decisions and put them on some track to success, like my parents, but accept the fact that my children will ultimately decide their own future, like Siddhartha’s father did.
But then again, I’m just running on blind faith.
I loved, absolutely loved reading this. I just want to sit down with you and keep talking about this. It's fascinating the way your mind is working and your word placement. Just, ahhh
I really like your post!!!
And I too have had those questions nag at me especially recently.
I also really liked that you repeated the "running on blind faith" at the end
Really great job!!!
First off, I'd like to say that I also have a collection of all the Disney movies on VCR. Secondly, I admire the fact that you realized that you didn't really like business and you aren't going to just follow your parents' wishes. It's hard to stand up to your parents' expectations sometimes and follow your own path, but you're going to manage to do it somehow! Nice post.
I really liked this post! I giggled hehehehehehehehehehehe...hehehe :3 anywayz I really like the structure and how well everything flowed :->
I love the fact that you retain your voice in your writing! I can practically hear you saying this. It has a natural flow & I absolutely adore how you introduced your opinion with an attention grabber.
Although “departure day” is not coming for awhile in my case, as I am taking the transfer route after I graduate from Arcadia High, I believe the “departure day” emotions and anxiety can still be felt; expressed or veiled by parents, family members, and close friends without the actual physical departure. Just because you are staying close to home or even staying at home for college doesn’t change the whole process immensely. Yes I may cook and use the same bathrooms as my family members but I will be older, more mature, and nonetheless want to experiment with jobs, friends, or relationships. I’ll still come home and sleep in the same house, however, I will crave to flirt with the endless possibilities of having independence and how life would be like without that constant “nag” or check up from parents. Also even though I will remain under my parent’s roof they will allow me to experience what an out of state college student would experience and that is only because I have built up great trust with my parents and they will allow me to do activities and to stay out late, since they trust me and my decisions. My parents will most likely have rules and guidelines since I will be residing under their roof for another two years, small but significant rules such as holding a job and staying focused in school. However, they did speak to me about this and said, “It is your life, your future, you choose how you wish to build it, just understand it starts the day you graduate.” They explained how they would still be there if I ever happen to need advice or a shoulder to cry on, but to recognize I was on my own with decision making, just as a student living away from home would. Just as any other anxious parent of a senior, or a worried parent of a child leaving for war, they both share the common struggle to hold on but know they have to let go. My parents view it as simply a cycle. They raise me to the best of their abilities and release me, in hopes that I will make the “right” decisions. The question is will I without them being side by side in every step of the way to guide me and reassure me that my desicions and choices are acceptable or beneficial?
Siddhartha has a very clear decision at this point and I believe if trust had been established early on in their relationship then it makes it easier for his father to decide on what to allow his son to do. Although Siddhartha knows he wants to search for something, he is unclear of what exactly that something is. Is it tangible? Is it wealth? Siddhartha is anxious to figure out the unknowns of his life, to uncover the mysteries that lie between his conscious and unconscious. The whole process puzzles him yet he is motivated to satisfy his urges to uncover and to calm his restless thoughts. Siddhartha’s choice in leaving his father’s wing and out into the unfamiliarity’s doesn’t appeal to his father, which amazes me as it takes a strong individual with a solid relationship to carry on asking permission. This is what I believe is important, Siddhartha is clearly aware his decisions in leaving and following the Samanas does not coincide with his father’s beliefs, nonetheless he proceeds for permission face to face. This reveals where their relationship actually stands as I assume if one is comfortable enough to ask for permission on something one realizes the parent is not okay with, then that translates a well-built, sturdy relationship. The father is perhaps shocked and deliberates to himself about what his son has decided to do but just as Siddhartha’s gaze shoots past his own, far away, he “realized that Siddhartha could no longer remain with him at home-that he already left him”(Hesse 9). To realize and understand reality is a feat itself therefore that steers me to believe the decision to let his son go was sensible. If and when I have children of my own and am faced with the reality of them growing up, I will allow them to depart their own ways, that is only if I had established a good foundation and had started to build trust as soon as possible. Trust will give me as a parent, the reassurance with the intention of assisting my child experiment and discover themselves as well as they will absorb my teachings and examples to make decisions with sensibility. I may not be there to answer for them but I will know as a parent that I will have instilled as much useful foundation in them to do so themselves.
Govinda is introduced as Siddhartha’s best friend who makes Siddhartha the sort of leader and Govinda the follower who wishes to be like Siddhartha or merely admires his actions and motivations. He follows Siddhartha in hopes of staying with his best friend and discovering new identities together. It is an unhealthy decision in his part because he does not know if this is what HE wants himself. As an individual I sometimes wish to be like others or wish to have a set plan about my life as others do, but that is not who I am, I must set out and find that on my own. Unfortunately magazines, books, movies, and television shows all suggest a certain lifestyle or certain way to act in order to be “happy”. How can this be true when it is you and only you who knows what happiness means for you. It is difficult to be motivated to set on a quest to “find yourself” when it is so much easier to just pick up a magazine and dress like the “popular” ones at school. This leads to broken identities, which in the end only hinders our self-discovery. Why try so hard to fit in, when we were all born to stand out? Govinda needs to rethink the root of his actions and ask himself if this is what HE really wants, but then again, does he even know? Or would it be easier and more convenient just to follow? Does it take more energy to truly figure yourself or emulate those wishes and dreams of an admirable idol? I would not follow a friend simply because they were my absolute life, yes loyalty comes to play, but I’d much rather be independent and investigate who I am and what is my identity, rather than staying loyal but missing out on opportunities that I could have encountered. Admiring Siddhartha for his decisions are what I would do because he wants to find himself and yearns to absorb more about life and it’s purpose. Personally, I could make the same choice if I wanted to. Would I? Probably not. I would most likely choose a more rational route as I am which happens to be what my parents wish for me as well. If they told me “We just want you to be happy and working hard towards your future”, I would have a clear sense of what was expected from me. Work and earn good grades. That isn’t going to make me happy though, which is opposite from what they want for me. I will always seek more, aim for higher levels to reach, and crash past the potentials I thought I had for myself. I admit I will never be satisfied, for I believe it is human nature to keep finding out more, plus mediocrity is what I fear.
I may not have a set and stone path or achievement or finding I would like to witness but I do know for fact happiness will be hard for me to achieve. I already know that. I am a high goal maker and one who pushes past limits to achieve them but I am extremely hard on myself and at times it hinders my advancement. If a step closer to my goal happens to become disabled by my negative thoughts and insecurities, I become frustrated and tumble back to square one. Being frustrated with the possibility of loneliness and failure, the fear of mediocrity and merely surviving not really living. I want to be able to tackle down all the obstacles that impair me from reaching success, which to me is making a difference is another individual’s life. The concept I would like to make come true is to be a successful adult and help others by doing what makes me happy. That thought pleases me and I know I have the ability to structure attainable goals for my future, which makes it much easier to start on my journey.
I really relate to you, and I am pretty sure a lot of us here do. I wish I could stay at home for awhile like you... Your last paragraph was great, it really sums it all up. Good job
Vanessa, this passage just spoke out to me: “It is your life, your future, you choose how you wish to build it, just understand it starts the day you graduate.” However, you did not just describe your "freedom to do what you wish". After this sentence, you stated that even though it is your decision to do what you wish, you are sort of guided by the lessons that your parents taught you. That is exactly how I feel! I can tell that you put a lot of thought into this piece.
My goodness, that's a good read. I LOVE your word choice and how you choose to express your meaning. Although your entry is longer than most, I didn't mind a bit. Your writing style is very unique, and i enjoyed the whole thing. Feraco's going to love having you in his class. xD
The first thing that struck me about your post was its length.
The next thing that struck me was also its length.
Beyond that, I quite enjoyed the first 5 sentences of the 5th paragraph as well as what you wrote about Sid's friend Govinda. Personally, I think Govinda is a fool, however I doubt my ability to accurately access his relationship to Sid at this point. I implore you to do the same.
You're my academic peer so I want to share with you what I thought your post lacked.
It lacked profundity. I didn't feel, zing not to say that it wasn't well constructed just that not much stabbed me in the eye when I read it.
Understand that what follows isn't just directed at you; I'll need to remember to talk about this Monday, since I assume most people won't be re-reading this thread.
This website isn't a place where everyone needs to agree. All who post are free to discuss what a student writes - their perspective, whether you agreed with their conclusion, whether you thought they missed an important point, etc.
But nothing good can come from your last lines.
The class community is still essentially in utero. Even though you sit next to this student, most people in the class are still learning each other's names. I'm going to take a wild guess: the person whose work you evaluated isn't familiar enough with you yet to trust your judgment. When you criticize without building that credibility, you're almost begging for a resentful reaction.
An instructor can get away with making the kind of statement you finished with - although we'd make suggestions for improvement, rather than simply closing with open-ended criticism - because he/she has credibility. We earn it by taking the stage every morning, keeping our classes from descending into chaos, and sharing the knowledge we've spent decades (in some cases) acquiring. That's why we know how to make suggestions for improvement.
So in the future, if you don't think something's up to par, don't bother replying to it; there are plenty of pieces worth replying to in any given thread. Leave comments that negatively criticize the skill someone displays to me.
Since that’s the case I’d like to say sorry to Vanessa for writing my comment. I had no intention of brewing resentment.
I completely agree Mr. Feraco. Because this class and the blog is in its infancy I can see the need to post, well, more moderate comments.
With that in mind, I would have preferred a more discreet method of contact. Your word is the law of the land, its power nearly boundless. I can’t even begin to argue or defend my statements against such a force. I’ve lost before I’ve begun.
You don't need to argue or defend your statement. As I tried to make clear, I never believed you were trying to be anything other than helpful.
This sort of thing - a well-intentioned comment that has the potential to rankle - happens every year during the early days of the blog. It's one of those things that - like the anonymous posting issue - I meant to discuss in class during the blog introduction. I simply never got around to it, and planned to bring it up on Monday.
By posting here (versus sending a mass e-mail), I aimed to stop those who would post things with less-than-helpful intent over the weekend (i.e., before I'd have a chance to address the class on Monday). So my comment was meant more as a preemptive message to them than as a specific rejoinder to you. I wanted to attach my comments to an example, and you just happened to provide the example. There wasn't any way you could have known that the comment would be "out-of-bounds" in advance.
Hope this clarifies things.
My family is like many other families in a sense that it is very different. I have moved so many times and have gotten used to the feeling of leaving my parents. from first days of school, to field trips, to weekends away. Now, I'm not sure how it will be going off to college. Though my parents have always been pushing me out of the house and trying to get me to leave many times, i just don't see me gone. I know it's for the better and to train me for independence, but what if I'd like to stay?
I think that my parents will make the decision to not talk to me, yet not on purpose but because that is how it has always been. Me being away, I think, won't exactly phase them like other parents and how they cry when their child leaves. Yes, I do have a close relationship with my parents, but it is also distant. They aren't going to be here forever, I know that, but I wonder how different it might be if they were here, at the moment.
Though I would like to stay, I know I can't and I'm not exactly wanted. But, I know where I would like to take my life and I know exactly what I want to squeeze out of it. I know where I'm going and I'm willing to accept what life throws at me. I just wish I could have parents that can back me up on this 100%.
I totally know how you feel Meliza... about how you have a close relationship with your parents but they don't seem sad about if you leave for college or not. I felt like you expressed your emotions really well and opened up about how you moved a lot. Nicely done!
i totally agree with you when you say you have a close relationship with your parents, but its also distant. i think we establish our social life before our family life and we start growing farther a part from each other.
There are so many conflicting feelings and actions. You have a close but at the same time, a distant relationship with your parents. You feel the need to be independent but you don't want to be.
I mean, I don't know you personally, but...
Your parent-child relationship is determined by not only you but also your parents. How much you guys communicate depends on the both of you. I'm sure they will not just push you out of their lives and expect you to be 100% independent all at once. Every parent has invested so much of their time and effort into their child. How they express it is unique to every family. Your leaving will definitely phase them but I feel as if they believe in our abilities and trust that you will pursue the path that is right for you.
Honestly, I feel the same way about staying home. That is exactly what I am doing. I will be commuting to college, because I don’t want to experience the “lets leave home” path even though that will help me become more independent like you said. However, I am very sorry to here about the distance you feel is in that relationship, but just know I am always here to listen! KNOW MATTER WHAT! Yes, we aren’t like best friends, but we have been in many classes together and have laughed/talked a lot. I understand that you may feel uncomfortable talking to me, but I don’t judge and I will just listen. You will be in my prayers that you can find what you are lacking/wanting/trying to find in your relationship.
Well, is it ultimately my decision for my child to leave the comfortable haven I will hypothetically provide? No. As humans, we are naturally seduced by the idea of pursuing what we want (at times haphazardly regarding the consequences) and my later-expected child(ren) will be no exception. If they have somewhere else to endeavor in order to fulfill who they are, who they want to be, what they need to be satisfied- leave they must. It is futile to remain and wise to venture even if it may be costly to the soul or body. I wish for my child(ren) to learn purpose, pride, and self-knowledge; it is well-worth fighting and searching far for.
I may never agree with everything my child(ren) decide to execute but I will fully support them. Without my hindering objections, I hope to never encounter this Siddhartha & father scenario: “Then the father realized that Siddhartha could no longer remain with him at home- that he had already left him.”
-Future Farewell Conversation with my darling honey bee (yes, I will call them that):
Mama Tiffany: You really want to leave home for your insatiable pursuits?
Child (Persephone): Yes.
Mother of one: Go; fight for what you need but be wise to not die for what you need- nothing is worth dying for. I bid you farewell on your journey but, honey bee, know your hive will be here when the honey isn’t as sweet elsewhere.
Child (Persephone): Mother, not in front of Papa Justin Timberlake.
Tiff you are too cute! I love how you personified pursuing something in a way and said we are seduced. I think you will be a great mother, and teach them well. I advise you though, maybe not to tell your children this till they really understand.
I agree that as humans we are seduced by ideas to pursue what we want. I'm able to relate to your piece on all levels. Your writing was clear while also humorous. You have a very strong voice in your writing. Good job!
Haha I like how you add a bit of fun to this piece!! I agree to your point and hope to do so like you will. I also really like how you interpreted your ideas in a scenario you maybe will have in the future. Good job!!
i totally agree with you when you say you have a close relationship with your parents, but its also distant. i think we establish our social life before our family life and we start growing farther a part from each other.
I really like how you are so straightforward with your ideas.
I think I want to dress up as your child just so I can have that mother- daughter conversation.
But realistically, would you actually be able to let go of your child so easily?
"I wish for my child(ren) to learn purpose, pride, and self-knowledge; it is well-worth fighting and searching far for. "
I didn't exactly understand what you are referring to as "self- knowledge."
Relationships are a strange thing. They can lead you to make the dumbest or the wisest of decisions. An example of a dumb decision would be to base one’s future on another’s decision. This didn’t happen to me, but I heard about it from my church teacher. She had showed signs of deciding to go to NYU but decided to go to a different college, but her boyfriend decided to go to NYU simply because she said she thought about going. It is possible that he made one of the most ridiculous mistakes of his life. But relationships can also lead to wise decisions. Like the decisions parents make to let their children go. My parents didn’t want to let my brother experience his senior year of high school without them when we moved, but they did. Because they loved him, and they knew staying at his current high school and going to college from there would be better for him than coming with us to California. When it comes to myself, I’m not sure what kind of decisions I would make for my relationships. I hope they are the wise ones, but I won’t know until the day comes. I would do what I can to at least avoid the more foolish decisions though.
I honestly think my parents will make the same decision Mr. Feraco’s father made. They might put a little more restriction into the decision, but they will agree to whatever choice I make as long as I believe it is the right one. My parents are actually quite liberal compared to other Asian parents. They have no qualms about my decision to become a teacher and, hopefully, writer. Nor do they have any objections to my desire to leave the state. They may not be overjoyed at the thought, but they will support me if that is my decision. My parents are like the old man in War: the cherish me, but they understand that they cannot make my decisions for me. So when it comes time for me to leave they may cry and show signs of terror, but their pride and trust in me will overpower that fear.
I totally agree. One should not base their future on someone else’s because that path cannot guarantee the same outcome. Each person is different in their ideas and the way they look at and respond to life. And yet, maybe following the shadows of someone else can help define who you are and where you want to go (not to contradict my own response…I strongly stick to my belief that each person makes their own choices). An interesting take, really. That second part really made me consider my views in a different light.
“I would do what I can to at least avoid the more foolish decisions though.”
But what can a person do to avoid a foolish decision? Sometimes, as you said, basing your future off of another’s (and other “foolish” decisions) may lead to a good outcome. If you don’t know what the future holds, how can you know what the best outcome will be?
Truth be told, I always wanted to grow up too quickly. During elementary school I was constantly looking forward to middle school, and during middle school I was constantly looking forward to high school. Maybe it’s simply because I’m only human that I become dissatisfied with life once I surpass my goals. Naturally, now that I’m a senior in high school, the main concern on my mind is college. Honestly, college seems rather daunting to me. It’s meant to be the place where we grow up, where we make lasting friendships, and where we begin to truly find ourselves. While it sounds like just another adventure to many, I can only imagine what my parents will feel when the day finally arrives. For any normal person letting go of something they cherish is a challenging task. So like any parents would, my parents did what they could and trusted me to make smart decisions all the while granting me support in any and all of my future endeavors. After nurturing me for seventeen long years, they must finally prepare to let me go. There is no doubt in my mind that my parents will struggle greatly- just like Siddhartha’s father did- watching their little baby girl grow up and finally leave the nest. Nevertheless this all important day is fast approaching, and when it does my parents will learn to let go, however hard that may be. This is the day where I spread my wings and fly- I may fall, but in the end I’ll pick myself up and dust myself off-so that I can show my parents what I’ve learned. This is the day I make them proud. Like Siddhartha’s father set Siddhartha free, I know my parents will soon set me free.
In a way, we are all like Siddhartha. The world can be a scary place filled with unknown ideas, cultures, and people. Similar to Siddhartha, we are nearing the end of a chapter in our lives and beginning a new one. No one knows where it will lead us, but we follow that path regardless. We are all searching for something, whether it be fulfillment, security, or truth. Personally, I’m not too sure what I’m searching for yet, but I’m hoping (praying really) that when I find it I’ll know. Until then though, I’m just trying to make something of myself.
I really liked what you wrote.
When you say "While it sounds like just another adventure to many, I can only imagine what my parents will feel when the day finally arrives. " you could actually use something from "the futile pursuit of happiness" to add some evidence to what you are saying since it talks about how people react in situations vs how people think they will react. Just a thought!
But you were also very clear and I feel like your writing has a voice behind it. You have very distinct writing traits. So good job!
I really liked what you wrote and can relate to everything! I was always the kid that wanted to grow up and move on and i'm ready to accept the challenges that college has for me. Also like you, I am searching for something in life. I agree with Madison about your voice and writing being clear. So great job!!
May I just say, you are a very clear writer. It is easy to follow your direction and purpose. In any case my parents are just the same way, and no matter the struggle, I know that when the time comes they must ultimately set us free. So yes, it is our time “to spread our wings and fly.” Although we hardly know where it is that we destined to be or end up, I believe it is mostly the experiences we take with us that uncover our deeper mean or objective.
Well put response, I hope to see more!
I can relate to the part where you said you wanted to grow up quickly. I remember when I came to Arcadia in 7th grade and the days just went by in a blink of an eye. Then by late sophomore year I noticed everything was going too fast and was growing up too fast. I still cant believe that im a senior and just a few days ago I said to someone that i was a Junior. I better savor these last remaining days.
I really enjoyed reading your post as I can totally agree with you on wanting to grow up quickly. Even now, I still have that feeling on quickly finishing high school and living out my college life. But I just need to learn to take life step by step and enjoy every moment of it. And like what everyone else is saying, your writing is really clear and to the point!
Hi Rachel, I like the way your last paragraph is written: very clear and concise. I agree with what you're saying about everyone in some way being like Siddartha. Great job!
That was really touching. While I read it, it reminded me a lot of myself and how I was in middle school and how I am today. How I made mistakes, fell, dusted myself off, got back up and became better. I guess we're a lot alike.
Good Job Rachel!
I like your argument. My parents have great expectations for me. I will not live up to my expectations of my parents. I will create my own career and I will make my parents feel proud. I think you will make your parents feel proud too.
Growing up. It is a process that so many parents refuse to embrace, yet in a real world it is a process that so many parents must accept. In his short story, “War”, Luigi Pirandello writes, “we [parents] belong to them [the children] but they never belong to us.” Is Pirandello correct? Absolutely. As senseless as it may seem a parent is a child’s tool, thus, the parent “belongs” to the child. A parent’s value is whether or not he or she can supply them with the proper knowledge and skills to not only succeed but to succeed independently. Siddhartha and his father are a prime example. Siddhartha has acquired all the possible knowledge his father has to offer and feels that he is ready to live on his own and to learn answers through his own experience. While Siddhartha’s father is reluctant he ultimately understands that letting go is something every parent must eventually do.
Letting go. It is a decision every parent shies away from, yet in a real world it is a decision every parent must make. Parents don’t let go because they want to, but because tradition tells them it is the right thing to do. It is the same tradition that justifies Siddhartha’s father’s decision to let Siddhartha go out on his own. In order for Siddhartha to obtain the sense of fulfillment he is seeking his father must let him grow on his own.
I think your first paragraph is really interesting. It has never crossed my mind that parents could actually "belong" to their children. Growing up, I have always worked to please my parents. I aim to satisfy them. I live under their roof, eat their food, use their money (sometimes!), and therefore I "belong" to THEM. However, after reading your blog, I am no longer so convinced. We must absorb every bit of information that our parents teach us; we need to use them. So perhaps they do "belong" to us. It's weird, but somewhat true.
Your post really stood out to me. Great Job!!
I completely agree with you, especially in your second paragraph where you said that "Letting go. It is a decision that every parent shies away from..." Most parents are in denial of the fact that they are going to have to let their kids go.
The first sentences of both paragraphs really caught my eye! Parents have immense influence over their children's actions. Many kids yearn for freedom and independence because they feel restricted, but the correct description of their condition is safe. But there comes a time when the innocence of childhood must be shed and ,at that point, one no longer feels content in his security. Rather, he feels deprived of wordly experiences. I believe parents must recognize this period in their children's lives. I agree--it can't be easy for Siddhartha's dad to not only watch him leave, but give Siddhartha his approval . Well said!
I agree on that parents "are used" by the children. Once they gain enough experience, children would want to exit their bubble and venture to new places. I also like our second paragraph on how you associated reality with Siddhartha's situation.
Siddhartha’s father goes against his own wishes to let his son find himself. It is extremely difficult for parents to let go of their children after pampering and watching them grow and mature for eighteen plus years. I am thankful that in my case I have parents who have allowed me to make my own independent decisions while still being graciously supportive. Since I am the youngest child in our family, my parents are pained (like Siddhartha’s father) but realize the need for one’s independence. If one becomes too used to being pampered and doing whatever one’s parents might order them to do, once they reach college and beyond, they’ll be flabbergasted. The search for self-realization can only be obtained through the individual itself. Regardless of parents, peers or any other outside influences, you are the only engine that has direct control over your life.
One might find it incredibly rash for Siddhartha to throw away a life in which he is so respected and loved by all his peers, especially since he leaves it for a life full of certain hardship. But I respect his decision; in fact, I wholeheartedly support it. If you stay inside a shell of security, you will never be truly content with yourself. You will never truly be happy with yourself. Siddhartha lived in this shell, and was loved by all his peers. But he was never happy. In my early teens, I was fine with taking no risks whatsoever and only doing what was absolutely necessary. I would be the kid who would never speak in class unless prompted to do so: the one sitting in the dark corner of the room hoping to never get called on. But I was never truly happy during those years. I felt utterly hopeless when facing adversity. While I believe I still contain shades of my past self, in present day, I feel increasingly happy with my decisions and with myself as I enter the latter teenage years. Therefore, I commend Siddhartha for following what he believes is the path to his ‘happiness.’
Siddhartha does not really have a reason in joining the Samanas. It is practically a snap decision, and he is immediately dedicated to joining them. So there must be some sort of reason why Siddhartha would leave a life of peace for a life of hardship. I believe he is following his own path to ‘happiness.’ I put happiness in quotes because I do not think he knows where or how he’s going to achieve this feeling. In fact, I believe most people (including myself) do not know what truly makes them ‘happy’ until that moment arrives. As Mr. Feraco said, he would have led a very different life if he had drove a different path. In (500) Days of Summer, Tom chastises himself for believing in such fate. But as Summer reminds him, there is such a thing as fate; it just arrives at the opportune moment. This ‘moment’ could very well be impacted with our choice of college. As we push through these college applications deliberating on which colleges to attend, it is important to know that maybe that top-notch school you got accepted into might not be the ideal school for you. There might be another college calling out to you, one that for some odd reason, you can’t seem to get out of your mind. I don’t know when or if I’ll achieve this happiness, but what I do know is to follow my gut and to never look back.
People often ask me why I run. They simply cannot fathom the joy, the thrill, the simple self-satisfaction that a runner recieves after pounding out mile upon mile in a torrential downpour, or in searing 90 degree weather. And most people don't consider that I am as much running towards something--a goal, perhaps--as I am away from other aspects of my life. It has pushed me to my limits, and it has pulled me to new heights. Essentially, it has always given me a purpose.
As I freshman, I wandered the hallways of Arcadia High, lost and dazed amidst the crowds of people. The campus overwhelmed me at times. The faces of thousands of strangers all around me did nothing to soothe my nerves. And I would hurry from class to class, always worrying about trivial things, such as the locations of the bathrooms or where I would sit that day for lunch.
As a senior, though I now navigate the halls with the ease and confidence of a seasoned veteran, I honestly feel more lost than ever. But this time, it seems as if I have lost myself in the crowds between freshman year, and now.
Likewise, Siddhartha leaves his childhood home to embark on a journey to attain—something. He feels as if he is lacking a critical component to him, and he seeks to gain that particular part.
I admit, the future scares me. I don’t believe I’m ready to take full responsibility for my actions, to pay for my education, or to grow up in general. For that reason, even at this late stage, I still have no clue which college I want to attend. I don’t know who I want to be because I don’t understand who I used to be. I am restless, searching for a sign that I hope will lead me to my somewhere.
Most of the times, I become frustrated, always seeking the answer before I know or understand my questions. It is a journey of blind faith, groping the darkness in the hopes that something or someone will be there to support me.
But on those darker days, I return to the place where I know who I am, where I know what I want and what I am searching for. I often feel lost, but there—on a trail, in the park, sometimes even the track—I know I haven’t deviated far from the path. I run from my past and my fears, and I run towards that all elusive state of mind, the target I’ve been pursuing for months now: happiness.
I really enjoyed reading what you had to say. The way you relate everything to your personal experiences really lets us, as the reader, see who you are. It helps us relate to what you are saying.
Overall, you really did a great job, I love how you answered the prompts without directly answering them...I hope that made sense.
I've never really understood why running appeals so much to runners, but through your writing I feel like I understand a little more now. Everyone has their own methods of escape, tv or video games or drugs or books, and for many people, it's running. I like how you related it back to Siddhartha.
Your introduction was attention grabbing. I enjoyed reading this and like how you compare your passion for running and confused about your future to Siddhartha's passion about knowledge and finding what he wants. After reading this, I feel more related to Siddhartha or the story in general, thank you!
We all find ourselves in the same position at some point of our life. I feel like I relate to your post well. It's strange, we're seniors. The class that should be confident and know what we want. Like you, however, I'm just as lost. I have no idea where I want to end up in the future -- I just want to run. Don't worry about being lost, I'll be right there with you running towards happiness!
I really liked reading what you had to say. Thanks for a great post!
I love the way that you started this post. It caught my eye as I was scrolling down the blog page. I admire you for recognizing that running is both leading you towards your goals, and steering you away from your fears. The parallel structure between your experiences as a freshman and now as a senior clearly shows not only your "age growth" but also "maturity growth". Though you still feel lost, you have moved past the trivial things in life. Basing my opinions from your writing alone, I don't think you have lost yourself...maybe you just haven't found yourself yet. I think that is something we all have yet to find.
This line really stood out to me "I am always seeking the answer before I know or understand my questions." I feel the exact same way.
I really enjoyed reading your post. I loved your examples and your voice jumped out from your writing. I agree with Maddie, you answered the prompts without DIRECTLY stating what prompts you were answering. Great Job!!!
When you feel the urge to run you just have to do it. I know Forest Gump had that urge. And yesterday I ran in 100 degree weather in jeans with my backpack on and book in hand and ran till I couldn't run anymore.
I really liked how you incorporated running in to your blog post; it hooked me in from the beginning. I can relate to your thoughts on running because I used to be in XC. Also, your example related well to the Siddhartha prompt question. Good job!
Hi Joyce! I always wondered why you love to run because I sure know that I don't. Your entry helped me understand why you do what you do. Thanks for sharing!
Hey joyce, I love the way you put running in context of how siddhartha needs something. I feel that urge to go "run" all the time, and it definitely feels like I'm searching for something on my run. Great post!
this was a great read. I really liked how you were able to use something you love to describe how you felt. the entire post feels like a race and you are still going for that finish line.
I don’t know about anyone else but when I was younger I always thought about what it would be like to be an adult and be independent. I was always in a rush to grow up and branch out and as I got to be a teenager in High School I began to understand the full meaning of being an “adult”. I learned that all my dreams of what it would be like to be an adult, such as the ability to buy whatever I want and do whatever I want are just that; dreams. Growing up isn’t like that. At least, it shouldn’t be. Now the ideas of growing up and going off to college, though still fascinating, are utterly terrifying. I’m not someone who has tried to stay in a safety zone their entire life but I sure would like to when it comes to leaving the place I’ve lived my entire life.
My parents are divorced; they have been since I was a baby. I’ve always been mommy’s “little girl” and frankly I believe part of me always will be. My mother is one of my best friends and it’s no surprise that we have talked about me leaving for college. I’ve thought about what it’s going to be like to be out of the house and be an adult in school and as much as it terrifies me, I know it terrifies my mother even more. Though I’m sure my mom would love for me to remain here and continue being her “little girl” I know she will support and encourage whatever decision I make. My mom has always been the one to push me to do something I never thought I could. My 8th grade year I wanted to do a sport, and I had always been interested in softball but I was painfully shy so I just decided, “no, it’s not worth it and I won’t like it”. Needless to say my mother wasn’t going to let me give up that easily. She sat me down and somehow, I still don’t really know how, she was able to convince me to join the league. I was completely reluctant to play but I’m glad she convinced me to do it because we ended the season by winning the championships.
There isn’t a doubt that me leaving is going to be difficult for both my mother and I but she wants what’s best for me no matter where I end up going. Whether I stay in California until I go to Georgetown for Law School, or whether I go out of state right after Community College I’ll have the support system I need.
Dana, I agree with you when you say when you were small you desired to be an adult, but only if we knew right?! I too wanted to rush and become independent to experience what it would be like if I could drive myself places and take part in a romantic relationship. Despite all those wishes and dreams we had as children, now that reality is actually in the game we have different feelings toward adulthood. I admire your choice for words and how you included how you used to want to be an adult in comparison to know, one step closer to adulthood.
I too wanted to rush and grow up so i can do what adults do. But now i have realized that growing up isnt as much fun as i thought it would be. But i still find a way to make the best of it and enjoy growing up.
I felt the same way as a kid. I always wanted to become an adult way too early. I still try to grow up faster than I should. Good work!
Dana, I can relate with what you just described. I too was and still am "mommy’s little girl" and there will always be a part of me that will stay that way. I too have parents who are divorced and a mother who I can count on to be there all the time. I started to experience situations in high school where I knew my mom would not be able to help me. It was time for me to make decisions on my own relating to friends and school problems and I remember my mom telling me when I was in about 5th grade, “Alexandra when you get older I'm not the one who will be giving you consequences for your behavior….the consequences will come from other people (teachers, bosses) and I will not be able to stop them, so you had better learn right from wrong and choose to do what you know you should.” Yep, that was growing up 101, my first glimpse of what it is like being a grown up. What, consequences from someone outside my home?! What happened to, “you’re not my mom!” I’ve since grown into someone who tries to choose what is right over what is easiest or more fun. I’ve learned from my mistakes and try not to make the same mistakes over again. I now find myself telling my little sister, “don’t be in a rush to grow up.” It all comes so fast.
I think father-son relationships are pretty neat. On one hand, the father wants to raise his son to be just like him. But at the same time, nothing would make Dad more proud than for his boy to grow up into a man all by himself. Take my dad for example; he's always taking me fishing and hiking and stuff, since he loves the outdoors. But he also encourages me to become the next Steve Jobs and invent some new gizmo that will make us billionaires.
My parents have taken a laissez-faire approach to my life. For they most part they've been letting me make my own choices and do what I want -- my only restrictions are obvious things like our budget, my wellbeing, the law, etc. While there's a endless list of things they'd like me to do, in the end they'll be proud with whatever I end up with. As long as I don't end up at McDonald's or living on the street. THEN I'm in big trouble.
That being said, I guess my departure from home isn't going to be quite like Siddharta's. So while Siddhartha's dad is initially reluctant to let go of his son, my dad is actually encouraging me to go as far away as possible for college, for multiple reasons:
a.) he wants me out of the house,
2.) he wants to see if I can survive on my own, and
d.) I think he wants me to grow; maybe he's hoping that I'll leave home a boy, and come back, years later, a man.
But I can totally see where Siddhartha's dad is coming from, and I also see the wisdom in his rationalization -- better to willingly let go of Siddhartha, than have him jump out of his hands.
I like this Govinda guy too. I have great friends. We would follow each other to the end of the earth, and then we'd come back with a bunch of silly stories and jokes about the whole ordeal. Even if a decision isn't the wisest, my group of friends is as loyal as can be. In Govinda's case, I respect him; following Siddhartha out of pure loyalty just shows the power of their friendship.
I'm starting to tear up just a little thinking about all this. I have an older brother, who's already been finished with college for a few years; when he left for college, at least Mom and Dad still had me to baby around. But I just realized, when I leave for college, there'll be no one left for them. Their jobs as parents will basically be over. That makes me want to cry, knowing that my parents, who put this immeasurable amount of time and effort into raising both my brother and I, will finally have to let go. And as jokingly as my parents tell me to go to Europe or Asia for college, I can't help but think that those years of solitude in our house will eventually get to them too. Thinking of how hard it will seem to be for me to leave my parents, I can't even imagine having to let go of my own kids. I'll get back to you on that question in like 10 years.
I don't have a personal stance on Siddhartha himself just yet. I think it's both courageous and a jerk move to, one day, just up and leave home for something I'm not even sure about. But it's only chapter 1, so things might change as his character gets fleshed out. We'll see.
Finally, me. What am I searching for in life? I have no idea. And I'm not really into leaving home to search for something that I don't know I'm looking for, like Sid-Darth-Vader here. But, in my opinion, high school is still a tad too early to have figured out what's in my future. Maybe it's just because I'm lazy, but I'd love to just float on through life and see what happens as I go along.
Corbin, I really agree with your first paragraph. Parents want us to grow up so much like them, to inherit their wit, yet at the same time they wish for us to be different and to be more successful, even. They teach us with all their wisdom, and the only way for us to become different is for them to let us go. Your father seems like he knows what he is doing.
Good job on your blog entry, it's very entertaining!
Your post is really interesting, and the paragraph where you talked about crying made me really think. Parents invest a lot of time in to their kids, so its hard to let them go. It's sort of like making an artistic masterpiece only to have it shipped away. Why would anybody let go of something they loved so much and made from scratch? Well, for the art, the artist would only give it away for a large sum of money. That's the thing; they need something in return, just like our parents. They can let us go, but it doesn't mean we wont seem them ever again. So don't feel so bad. Besides, there's always grandchildren.
My parents have always been much like Siddhartha’s parents, they don't want to let go but they realize that the time has come for us to grow up, for us to lead our own lives, and for us to form ourselves and not be formed. More than often, my parents would let me do what I wanted to do. They are the type that agrees with what I want but offer what they want as “suggestions” for me. For example, when I said wanted to move to New York for college, my parents agreed to my decision but “suggested” I stay in California. Even if I were to not take their suggestion, they would still support my decision to go to New York for college; they would support me regardless, not just because they are my parents, but because we are family. The day I leave for college is a mystery and something no one can foresee, even if many of us can say that when that day comes they will simply pack their bags and leave, all of us know it isn’t going to be that easy.
Personally, I thought Siddhartha’s father made the correct choice to let his son venture on his own. He knew that no matter what he said, his son has grown up and he has already set his mind to leaving. When the father saw his son’s persistence and confidence to leave home, he realized that he has grown up and he can no longer hold on to him. Every parent wants the best for their children, and if Siddhartha’s dad were to hold on to Siddhartha, it would drag him down and in turn make his life miserable.
Govinda’s decision was driven by something he admires; he “loves” Siddhartha and therefor follows him. Even if she didn’t want to leave the village, I praise him for his bravery, loyalty, and willingness to explore new grounds. He sees Siddhartha as a role model and who wouldn’t follow their role model’s footsteps. With that being said, I would not be able to simply drop everything I had to follow in the steps of someone I admire. For now, I want to lead my own life and create my own unique life experiences.
Im my opinion, all parents feel the same way about not wanting their child to leave the nest. They also will have their own opinions where you should go for college based on their experience but i respect people that can make choices of their own using knowledge and wisdom.
I like the points that you make, but I think that in the end, parents generally support their children despite disagreements. In the end, not only do they want what is best for their children, just like Siddhartha's father, but they also want to be able to satisfy what their children want.
Similar to a baby bird leaving it's nest, we leave our nest when we are ready to go. Depending on the person, it matters whether the parents are ready as well. In Hermann Hesse's "Siddhartha", Siddhartha is a respectful young man who cares about his father's opinion in which he waits for his acceptance. At first, his father does not want him to join the Semanas, but after a couple of hours of Siddhartha standing motionless, his father finally realized his determination. This caused his father to change his mind and let him join the Semanas. This situation would not be a problem for me because my life greatly different.
The story of my life would be more of the opposite of Siddhartha's. It would not be me standing for hours waiting for acceptance, it would be my parents standing trying to accept the fact that I am already gone. I have always been the type that has thought of college as a waste of time and that has and will not change. The reason I would leave my nest would be to obtain my own life in my own home. I am closer to my father than my mother so where I decide to leave and decide to work would be decided by me but helped by my dad. Just like Siddhartha, my fathers decision would come to mind. Unlike Siddhartha though, I would not pout for hours but be loud and rough so he can understand my determination.
Despite his own wishes, Siddhartha’s father reluctantly lets Siddhartha go experience the world and search for truth. In this decision, Siddhartha’s father chose not to follow his emotions, but what would be best for his son. Once he realized that Siddhartha would not waver on his decision, he decided to let Siddhartha go, to let him venture out into the world. However, Siddhartha’s father would not completely let him go. When Siddhartha’s father said “If you find bliss in the forest, come back and teach it to me. If you find disillusionment, come back, and we shall again offer sacrifices to the gods together.” he still wanted to have Siddhartha return to him. Doing this, both father and son were given peace of mind. Siddhartha’s father was ensured that one day, Siddhartha would return to him, and Siddhartha was allowed to leave the village and learn from the Samanas. Had Siddhartha’s father forced Siddhartha to stay, the relationship between the two of them would quickly become strained, and Siddhartha would have left on his own, without his father’s blessing.
When I become a parent, I would like to guide my child and show them the infinite roads that they may choose on the path to adulthood, however, should my children every want to leave to explore the world on their own, I would permit them. However, I would first see if they have the tenacity to stick with their decision, and should they pass, I would let them leave and experience the life of independence. I believe that through experiencing things first hand, people learn and change to better themselves, and the people around them.
Jeffrey, I agree with your thoughts on parenting. I think it is actually dangerous to not trust your child every here and there. They may go about and completely forget everything they learned from their parents, the ones who kept them locked up for so long, just to rebel. Therefore I admire Siddartha's father for his brave decision to trust his child will stay responsible.
The fat man in War points out an easily ignored truth. He argues to the rest of the passengers that “when [our sons] come to life they take our own life with them.” To understand why this statement is accurate, the reason why people even have children must be examined. I have once asked my own dad why he wanted to have children. He replied, “Of course I want to have a next generation.” So when the fat passenger proclaims that his son takes his life with him, he makes a valid point. The main purpose of his life is to produce offspring, to contribute his portion to the continuity of humanity. When he achieves this, everything he works for in his life rolls over to his children. The work he toils and the paychecks he brings home are to support his children. Thus indirectly, his life becomes that of his son’s; he is living because of and for him.
The second part of the quote, “we belong to them but they never belong to us,” consequently is also true. If his life is already metaphorically taken by his son, then he belongs to his son. His son, however, has a full life in front of him, with his own desires, decisions, and dreams to pursue. Even though as a child he may have to follow the command of his father and do what his father bids him to, his father is not going to be controlling him for his entire life—it isn’t naturally possible. I know that this applies to me. It may be seemingly selfish to say that my parents belong to me, but when I think about it, it’s true. They are there to support me, to raise me until one day I become independent. They are there to try and satisfy my wishes or to teach me why I don’t really want what I want. They are my guides, but I am not theirs. I don’t belong to them. There will be a day when I step out of my childhood home and never return permanently.
Moreover this statement also applies to Siddhartha. His father, however, does not recognize this as well as the fat man in War does, and it takes Siddhartha’s own actions to lead him to a somewhat similar conclusion. Siddhartha takes all the guidance and knowledge he can from his father, and is aching for more. He wants to walk away from home and map out his own life, pursue what he wants to find. So Siddhartha’s case is very similar to the fat man’s son. They both are ready to step away from their parents and take full rein of their own lives, and in the end, their fathers cannot control them because their sons do not “belong to them.”
I love how you explained the quote "we belong to them but they never belong to us". To be honest, I really didn't understand what it mean for our parents to belong to us until you gave me examples. I guess it really depends on how you look at it. If you see your parents as only helping you when help is needed, then it may not feel like they belong to you. However, there is the more common case where the child will go to the parent for every problem and wait for solutions. They essentially belong to the child. I also like how you reinforced this with the fact that once we leave and never come back home, nothing will change. It is our choice and they do, in a way, belong to us.
I think that my point really was that because it is our life and these are our choices, in the end we can't possibly belong to our parents. On the other hand, our parents devote themselves to us and don't even leave our side (whether it may be physically or metaphorically), so they do, in a sense, "belong to us."
Very nicely done. Quotes all easy to understand, and I can tell exactly where they came from and what you're trying to point out. What I want to add, though, is that we DO belong to our parents. In their eyes, we are only theirs, and anything else we say about it is just nonsense. They might nod their heads in fake agreement, but in the end, they will always see us as THEIR children. I understand why you say we aren't though, because it is only natural for us to think that we don't belong to them. We are our own people, correct?
Anyway, good job
And I see what you mean by our parents thinking that we belong to them, and that we don't think we belong to them. But I think that the perspective of the fat man in War is already different from everyone else, including the other passengers. He is the one who convinces, in a sense, the other passengers that their children don't really belong to them. So, theoretically, it's just that our parents don't know that we don't really "belong" to them. (Not literally, of course.)
Hi alton. I like the quotes that you used from war and I agree from your last paragraph that the fathers cannot control their sons life and sometimes it takes action to see that they are ready to live on their own.
Were you one of those kids like me that would always hear this from your parent: "YOU CAN NOT DO THIS BECAUSE I AM YOUR PARENT" or "YOU WILL DO AS I SAY BECAUSE I OWN YOU!" As I was reading your response all I could hear was these two phrases going through my head. I agree and disagree with your statement of "you do not own me." I agree with that the choices we make are our own; that we control our own lives and we shouldn't let our parents run them. However, I also disagree in a way that, yes our parents don't "own" us, but we can't forget that they gave life to us, they bathed, clothed, and fed us. In return, because they did all of these things we can't deny the fact that sometimes it's almost better to just listen to them. (because they can pull the plug on us at anytime!!)
I see your point about how our parents "own" us, but I think that perhaps I was looking more past our age, such as that of the son of the fat man, at the age where they lose total control over us. But I agree that our parents to have power over us.
Wow! Honestly, I wasn't sure how to interpret that quote when I first read it in the story. I love how you tied in the explanation and related it to Siddhartha to make your point. It fits really well and now I actually see the correlation! Haha
Very clever! I like how you related the quotes together and combine them to establish a point. The quotes explain what you're trying to prove really well.
When you say that your parents "belong" to you, they are there to guide you to the point where you can find your own way. I feel like once you reach that point, you belong to yourself and you are free to do what you like.
I completely agree with you. We are our own independent selves. Our parents definitely made a huge impact in our lives, but they definitely don't own us and can't make our decisions for us.
Your writing is really clear, to-the-point, and is thought-provoking.
Wow. I really liked how you tied those quotes to the story and explained your perspective well.
Stephanie H Period 1
I'm agree with you. My parents are my guides, but I am not theirs. I don’t belong to them. We will leave them behind after age and never come back. I think that is a kind of natural reaction.
Growing up, my parents have always encouraged me to become a doctor or a lawyer and graduate from UCLA. It seemed like an amazing idea at first. Those professions offered high paying jobs and I'd be able to stay close to home but I slowly began to deny the idea. This path just isn't for me. Once I started my college searches having those talks with my parents about my future, we both realized that I would not be happy with either of these choices. I told them about my decision to carry on with my life outside of this mold they have created for me. Fortunately, they understand my choices and actually support them.
I think Siddhartha's father reacted the way any parent might. Of course he'd be upset at first but as he begins to understand why Siddhartha desires to leave, he knows that he must not get in the way. Siddhartha's refusal to move proves that he will not allow anyone to prevent him from growing up. The Brahmin no longer has control over his son and is left no choice but to let him venture out.
In a way, I think my parents are reacting the same way Siddhartha's father reacted. At first, they were very hesitant with my decision because they thought there idea was perfect for me. Now that I have grown up a little and have a better understanding of myself, it's safe to say that we know becoming a doctor or a lawyer is definitely not for me. Because I know that my parents are supportive of my decisions, I believe that they will make a decision much like Siddhartha's father when I make my college decision. Lately, I have been seeking help from my parents when I try to finalize my college list. No matter how many questions I ask them, they never seem to give me a straight answer that leads to a decision. Although it frustrates me, I respect their actions. I admire that they act like Siddhartha's father because it will give me space to make my own mistakes, learn from them and mature.
Its like we have the same parents. Always listening to there random nonsense about how you NEED to be a doctor or you will fail in life. Its like honestly i think i should do what i want to do you know? They always lead you to the thinks you don't want and the things that you do what it is always a "bad decision" not that im totally bagging on my parents but they need to know what is right for ME and not for THEM. Enough with my randomness it was a good write up? i like how it related to me.
I know what you mean Calvin. Typical asian parents always stress their kids and compare us to other which drives me crazy sometimes
Im glad your parents understood you about not wanting to be what they want you to be in life. Im still surprised my parents are cool about me choosing my own path for my future on my own.
Criticism hardy seems reasonable when discussing Siddhartha’s choices of leaving Brahmin to join the Samanas. In many ways, his father and the wise Brahmin teachers taught him all the knowledge they possess and now it is his turn to grow as a man and search for his role in humanity. For one, we should admire his bravery to seek his own future and expand his knowledge without the content of success or not. Whether or not his father agreed with his objectives, he granted Siddhartha his blessing to leave.
That first step into the unknown world, full of experiences, failures, and success, is probably the most frightening step to take. But in any case, we must take it at one point or another. Knowing that I would have to leave my family behind, with no possibility of seeing them again, ultimately leaving that comfort of home and the people I know, all to adventure out to seek more. I can’t say I won’t be able to, but I know, that in that exact moment, my sense of direction is right. The outcome of my action(s) made or even what I am looking for may be a challenge, but we must all build character somehow. And with that set of mine, my decision becomes apparent.
I don’t think Siddhartha has any idea of what it is he is in search of. He knows it is something that must be found for his own sake. Having no hint of destiny, his first inner direction was to leave Brahmin and his family behind. It may not make sense to him now, or anyone for that matter, but he feels it in his heart that it is right. And only his father sees his passion for the search of this unknown fulfillment truly exists within.
Surely we all are blinded when we seek our future goals or ambitions. But should that stop us from experimenting opportunities? I think it is important for me to test the waters in my current set mind. And whether I fail or never find its true purpose, it only helps me uncover my true meaning or even what it is I am looking for. Of course I find myself questioning my ideal purpose, but I will admit it does stop me to reconsider my guidance. Nevertheless I seem not to let myself lose sight in that unknown search we all are looking for.
There really is no “best way to raise your child” there is only your way. Siddhartha and his relationship to his father are like mine with my father. Siddhartha’s father has the thinking of if my child wants to succeed he needs to learn through experience. My father is the same way because he doesn’t really help me with much. Our relationship is not as close as it should be. My father wants me to succeed by myself because he wants to teach me how he had to earn his success.
Siddhartha’s father is very uptight and rough on Siddhartha. When Siddhartha’s father “realized that Siddhartha could no longer remain with him at home-that he had already left him” I really thought if the future and what it holds. When departure day is there and when you tell your parents that you “could no longer remain with [them] at home”. It means a lot because you need your parents for just about anything. You wouldn’t be in school or even in a home without them. This quote really good me thinking about the good and the bad about the goodbyes, but in the end we all need to let go and I’m glad that I could understand before it is too much for me in the near future.
Calvin, I agree with your "no best way to raise your child" statement. Every person is unique and is accustomed to different methods. I enjoy how you related this to the hesitance of Siddhartha's father and how that connects to your life. Good job!
I agree with you Calvin, in the end we all have to leave. Hopefully at that time our parents will be happy about the fulture and decisions we made for our lives.
Well, the phrase "my kids future"... the most important part is "KID'S" or not "my"... It's kind of the tradition that how Asian parents were raised. A strong offspring would make the last name of the family shine.
Is Siddhartha’s father’s decision wise?
Teenagers hope for the respect and trust from parents; however many parents question the decisions their kids make. Siddhartha’s father, in the other hand, shows acceptance, recognition and forgiveness towards Siddhartha’s decision. Five years ago was the first time I met my father. The unfamiliar feeling towards my father had made me extremely rebellious. This disobedience had not changed my father’s love for me. Rather than giving me unpleasant looks or harsh lectures, my father smiled and nod his head when I ignored his questions or suggestions. Looking back on my father’s clemency, it is hurtful to imagine how heartbroken my dad was. My compassionate father always gives me advices with a soft and gentle voice keeping his philosophy such that “Young people in a new generation thinks differently, parents should just accept them.”
Like Siddhartha’s father, my father had “accepted” my rebellious behavior, he knows that individuals have their own mind and interrupting my decisions will not create a better relationship between us, but rather, destroy the freedom and happiness of mine. Everything that I do, my father will give me “recognition”, my dad recognized my dreams when I discussed my future with him, he did not tell me to teach him my knowledge on my dream, instead, he told me to bring him on a trip when I have achieved my goals. This last one is my favorite one, “forgiveness”. My father’s forgiveness has changed our relationship. He not only forgives my behavior, but like Siddhartha’s father, my father also tells me that if anything happens, “we”, can solve the problem together. After I sensed how disobedient I was, and how benevolent my father is towards my actions, I respects my father wholeheartedly, and decided that I will cherish my father because he is such an wonderful father, who had made great decisions to resolve our relationship. My father, just like Siddartha’s, let my fly, far away and hoping to see me fulfill my dreams and recognize his love when he made the decision to “accept” “recognize”, most importantly “forgive” me. I love my father.
Its like we have the same parents. Always listening to there random nonsense about how you NEED to be a doctor or you will fail in life. Its like honestly i think i should do what i want to do you know? They always lead you to the thinks you don't want and the things that you do what it is always a "bad decision" not that im totally bagging on my parents but they need to know what is right for ME and not for THEM. Enough with my randomness it was a good write up? i like how it related to me.
When you come into this world, you're helpless, knowledge-free, and completely, utterly lost. You have no mouth, you have no eyes, you have no sense of direction, and most importantly, you have no means to live on your own. Despite all this, we survive and thrive, supported, taught, and pushed forward by the two people we call parents. From the second we're born, they tell us what to do, how to think, how to live. "Don't touch that, you'll burn yourself." "Don't play with that, you'll poke your eye out." "Get another B and I'll spank you until your butt blooms like a flower." We learn to rely on their judgement on who to be friends with, what time to come home, how often to brush our teeth, how to cut our hair, and everything in-between. But there it is! Slowly but surely, we start deciding by ourselves how we want our hair cut, who to be friends with, and which shows we want to watch on TV. What happens to that bond? It splinters, worn down by the influences of the outside world. Our parents try to repair the bond, but their efforts are wasted. Like an aging car, you replace the broken parts, but when the time comes to let it go, it's just too much to keep it alive. They understand, eventually, that in order to live the life we want to live, we need to start making our own decisions; otherwise, our life becomes a duplicate of theirs, against our wishes.
Mr. Feraco's father could have chosen a school for him. It could have been a simple decision based on what he thought was right for his son. But, as Mr. Feraco says, it was the school he chose for himself that led him to the life he leads today. His father was smart, letting his son decide for himself. I think it would have been a sad, sad life if Mr. Feraco decided on a school, but was told to go to another. Like that unforgivable 6-digit phone number, it would always be the life that could have been.
Although our mindsets could and will be drastically different by the time we have planned children, right now, I trust myself to be able to show my child life without going through it for him/her. Like taking a friend to a restaurant they've never been to before, you want to make sure they know all the items on the menu before telling them what you think they should order. When the time comes, I think I'll know when to hold back on the goodbye kisses when dropping them off to school and when to shut up when teaching them how to drive. Although I should never stop teaching, never stop guiding, I think it's essential to know when to stop making decisions for them. We want to teach them, and what better way than to sit back and watch them learn by making their own life decision. I'll just keep telling myself that I'll be there to put them back on their feet when they fall.
Hey Kevin, this was a really good read. I really enjoyed your examples.
Hey Kevin, nice blog, i liked the example about Mr. Feraco, and you also talked about what all parents try to do to control their children.
Just like Siddhartha’s father I would have to make the same decision he made in supporting his son. Unlike Siddhartha who asked for permission to leave our children might leave with or without our support. Seeing Siddhartha torturing himself probably influenced his decision to let him go for the pain of seeing his child slowly killing himself was too much to bear. Siddhartha’s father now has to worry if his son is alright or is even alive which is something a parent shouldn’t have to do. It would be very hard to depart with someone who you raised and loved for 17-18 years. When they leave the feeling could be compared to a hobbit leaving the safety of the Shire to a grim place like Mordor. Even though they would appear to be children in the eyes of the parent it is a natural process that almost every parent would have to go through.
Unlike all the past parents our technology is way more advanced and can allow us to communicate with our children more easily and worry less. With today’s technology you can easily talk face to face with someone over the internet. If your children are having financial troubles you can easily transfer money with a couple clicks of a mouse. By the time they grow up they may have commercial flights that go at the speed of sound or other faster alternative transportation therefore you can visit them a couple of hours. Siddhartha could have done something to let his father know he was alright. A parent would worry less when they know that you’re alright. Knowing this when the day comes it might actually be easier than when Siddhartha’s father let him go.
I totally agree with the fact that modern day technology has changed the impact of separation. Technology does allow us to leave our loved ones yet constantly be in contact with them. I have a feeling that if technology was implemented in this first chapter that Siddartha's father would not make a big deal out of it.
I know senior year is going to end a lot sooner than I think and the day for me to leave home and go off to college and be on my own will arrive. And my parents are similar to your father. They know my day to go off to college and leave home is approaching. They wont tell me where to go to college or even make any suggestions, they leave all that for me to decide. My parents still ask me if I know what im going to do and where im going to go after high school, they do this as a form of reminding me that I need to figure all this out and fast. My parents told me that in order to learn from my mistakes, is not by telling me what to do in order to avoid it, but to make the mistake and learn for myself first hand that it was a mistake and learn on my own. My parents are probably not ready to let me go but they understand that i am growing and they cant always be there to tell me what to do or how to do it, therefore they aren't helping me decide my future for me, and i am grateful that i have the opportunity to choose my future and live the life i want to live, and grow and become the man I want to be, all on my own.
The day I become a father, I will already know what to do when it's time for my kid to go off to college, due to my own experiences. I will treat my kid the same way my parents treated me about going off to college. I will not help them decide on a college to go to, I will let my kid decide all on their own. I shall do this because this is their future and they should be able to decide what they want to do with it, where they want to go. And I cant tell them what to do or where to go for college because im not going to be the one living their life for them. Only they will know what they want to be in their lives, therefore they are the only ones who can choose the path for their own future.
The second paragraph sums up quite nicely how I feel about sending my children to college. I know they will have many unanswered questions, and I can't give that to them because only they can find it out.
Siddhartha’s father’s choice shows trust, understanding, and compassion brought on only by true love, because “if you [truly] love somebody, let them go”; they have as much obligation to themselves as to those in their lives. In order to fulfill one’s desires, one need to leave one’s beginnings, meet unique adversity, and if necessary, separate the bonds which protect and teach us. These events are inherent in the lives of all great people, as Jesus did walking in the desert for 40 days, or when Einstein discovered the theory of relativity while working at a patent office; Siddhartha’s father sees greatness in him and so relinquishes his hold over Siddhartha in order for his son to experience the world for himself and develop his own wisdom to pass on.
Govinda, sensing a great destiny lain before Siddhartha, departs his home, his village, and up until that point, his world. He joins Siddhartha not just out of an overwhelming sense of loyalty, camaraderie, or duty. Govinda takes the path so many have taken: to join in something much greater than themselves. Govinda, like Wiglaf, Patroclus, and Peter, knew he was following someone who comes once in a generation. This chance to attain greatness he cannot perceive is plenty of incentive to follow Siddhartha. Should I be in Govinda’s shoes, I would take a similar path. In such a situation I would find myself jumping after the chance after I settle my business.
Do you think you could make the same type of decision as the fathers I've discussed when your own children are grown? Will you treat them the way my father treated me, or will you take a different tack?
When the day comes and I have to make a decision to let my children move on with their lives and allow them to pursue something they want, I will let them. Unlike Siddhartha’s father I would allow my child to leave without any pressure. This is because, I understand that although it may be hard to see the child I raised move on in life, I still have to support rhem 110%. I see the side that Siddhartha's father is coming from and that in the moment it's probably the first thing he thinks about.. which is to not let his son leave him. In the end there will come a time in everyones life where we will have to make a tough decision we don't want to make.
I believe that by making this decision it will be easier on both me and my child because, they will see that i support them in everything that they do. Also, nowadays there is so many different ways that I could stay in touch with my child such as; writing letters or chatting online. Technology has increased since back then. Maybe I could even take some visits to see him/her? Although, I do commend Siddhartha's father for eventually letting him go and putting his faith into his son. I would just have done gone about the whole situation in a different manner.
You haven’t left home yet, but Departure Day draws nearer with every passing moment. Will your parents make a decision similar to the one my father – or Siddhartha’s – made?
My parents had already planned for my departure. They gradually showed signs that I am ready to face the real world throughout my life. The small things like allowing me to bike to school alone for the first time or even trusting me I'll come back home everyday contribute to the fact that they completely understand my capabilities. They know I'll make mistakes and know how I overcome them. My parents have raised me throughout my entire life to experience new things and to learn them on my own. At the end of the day, their children must leave the household to pursue their goals and dreams. I know this because following my goals and beliefs is all they teach me. Siddartha's father made the right choice to let his son go and take his own risks. Similar to my parents, Siddartha trusts that his child is capable of doing what he was taught to do. It's not at all because he doesn't support him by letting him slip once in a while. It merely means that he will use those mistakes to discover his own morals and lessons to pass on to his future children.
Because they knew I would have to go through elementary, middle school, high school, and eventually graduation, my parents knew exactly how to raise me to prepare me for every transition approaching in my life. I have gone through elementary school to middle school then on to high school. In what way am I unprepared to move on to college? I will make many mistakes in college. I already made many mistakes in school. Getting to the next school will be difficult because I must work harder and approach my goals in the right way. I have already done this two times in my life. We are all prepared for this next step, departure, because we have been faced with similar experiences in the past. My parents and I aren't worried at all. Siddartha in the end was not worried about his son either.
Hey Brian I just wanted to say that I agree with you in light of Siddhartha's father's decision to let his son go. I also believe that our parents understand that we must all, at some point, leave the nest and that they should trust that we were raised well and will be alright.
Good job (:
Loyalty is a key component in maintaining healthy friendships. Govinda’s loyalty to Siddhartha rose as a priority over all of his own personal dreams and goals. I can see myself as Govinda. The only difference between Govinda and I is that I would never be able to drop my own aspirations and follow someone towards their own goal. I would never feel comfortable being shadowed by a person like Siddhartha. While their life is unfolding, my life would be a straight line, never improving or fulfilling. Constantly being inferior to someone like Siddhartha will never allow me to grow. In the end, I might have lived a life full of regret as I never chose to follow my own dreams. Although Govinda’s act of loyalty is a noble choice, Govinda’s decision might come back to haunt him. Since there is only one shot at life, I would rather life my own life than someone else’s.
Siddartha’s father was unrelenting at first on letting his son leave home but Siddartha’s unwavering decision ultimately changed his father’s choice. Without the trust and bond that Siddartha and his father share, this would not have been possible. He knew that forcing his son to stay behind will not benefit either of them as they will be displeased. Venturing out into the world and learning life lessons through experience will cause Siddartha to eventually grow stronger. If he was constantly under his father’s protection, Siddartha would’ve never grown since he felt that there was nothing left for him in this village. So the father’s resolution on freeing Siddartha from the village was the right decision.
I agree with you about Govinda. He shouldn't have just followed his friend without thinking about his future and what not. Well put!
Disregarding his own feelings, the loyalty that Govinda demonstrates to Siddhartha reveals that Govinda is too dependent on Siddartha’s leadership in their friendship. Govinda’s relationship with Siddartha is like that between a servant and a master. In this case, Govinda is the servant that follows his master’s footsteps and yearns to imitate all the qualities that make Siddartha magnificent. This imitation is behavior that occurs naturally. The Indonesian Mimic Octopus has the ability to mimic other creatures by replicating the movements and physical appearance of other creatures, thus scaring off other predators. The Mimic Octopus itself is a fleshy creature that has no other defense. Like the octopus, Govinda wishes to mirror the qualities that Siddartha possesses. The unhealthy part of this friendship is that Siddartha himself will eventually be an anchor that Govinda must cut loose in order to grow as an individual. Just as the octopus is dependent on mimicry, Govinda is also too dependent on Siddartha. This dependency is a negative trait because when a time comes where Govinda must depend on himself, he will become nothing but a sizzling plate of Takoyaki waiting to be eaten.
In the first chapter, Govinda plays the role of the obedient follower and loyally leaves the village with Siddartha. I would not make the same decision as Govinda in leaving villiage with Siddartha, at least not without making Siddartha respect my opinion as much as I respect his. A successful friendship depends on both people playing an equal role. In a friendship, the follower is often provided with an opportunity to grow as an individual. A prime example is Watson from Sherlock Holmes. After many cases with Sherlock Holmes, Watson finally decides to get married and continue his own life, while still maintaining his friendship with Sherlock Holmes. The partnership between Watson and Holmes succeeds because both respect one another. Both individuals play an equal role in their friendship. As Aristotle once said, “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
Your response to Govinda's decision to follow Siddhartha is interesting. When I read the first chapter I solely considered Govinda a loyal friend, but never came across to the thought his loyalty might also be an indication of his weakness. Since I have not yet finish reading the entire book, so I dont know if Govinda has other motivation such as he also wants to find enlightenment or so on.
I agree with you opinion on friendship, as it is considered a key component of my life. Mutual respect is important ecuase friendship is both strong and fragile
I agree completely: Govinda is nothing but a simple-minded follower, and it becomes even more apparent when he later forsakes Siddhartha for a stronger master (Gotama Buddha).
also, that takoyaki sounds pretty good. mmmm.
When I have children of my own and they come to me and ask me about their life plans with colleges and such, I will probably be uneasy at first. I mean which parent wouldn’t be? But, just because I don’t agree with where they want to head or what they want to do, all I can give is my regards and hope that they make the right choices. After all, we do raise them to know right from wrong, so why not have them prove that they have been paying attention all those years. I would definitely want my hard work to pay off and let them grow without having a parent cling on to them. I agree with what Siddhartha’s father was in the end. He is letting his son do what he believes is good for him. But it was almost disappointing that he made Siddhartha wait for his final decision. In the end, I’m glad his father made the right choice.
Siddhartha had made a choice to go out and get away from the village. He felt that it was his destiny to join the Samanas. I think he had made the right choice because he was branching away from what he had been used to for so long. He wants to explore. The fact that Govinda ended up joining Siddhartha can be seen as an act of loyalty, but what if Govinda doesn’t accomplish anything from the journey? He is almost making himself seem too dependent of Siddhartha. If I were in Govinda’s shoes, I don’t think I would have done what he had done unless I was sure that, that was what I want to do, not because a friend is doing the same. I also wouldn’t expect a friend to follow me if it wasn’t what they want.
I agree with you about how parents would be shocked to know that their children's decisions would be totally different to that of what their parent's had planned. But also life is making your own choices and "to make mistakes that only they should make." That's how we grow from a young adult to an adult, by making mistakes and by making choices.
Thinking of living on my own excites me. After eighteen years of being under the care of my parents, I feel like I am ready to experiment on my own in the world and if I am in trouble I have cousins and friends to help me. Akin to my wants my parents are supportive of me and also cannot wait to see me leave. They have never questioned the occupations I wanted to try from when I was a kid to now. They supported my choice because they just wanted me to be happy with what job I ended up with. Although they support my choice of occupation, my education was very important to them. My parent wants to move back to Vietnam when they are old, but they cannot do that until they see that my brother and I enroll in a good college because to them, it is a start of a successful path.
Through my years in high school, I have seen how some of my friends have changed. Either they have changed for better or worse, it helped me cut down to the most important friends. To me, what matters most in a friend is loyalty. In high school you have many friends and as they year goes by, you realize that the time you have with them is shortening and you try to hang out with as many of your friends as often as possible. But when graduation comes around you have to realize that people are going to take separate paths and you can only keep a couple of your friends, which are they loyalest ones. Relating to Govinda's decision, I thought that it was a good decision because of the love Govinda has for Siddartha. By following Siddartha he is making sacrifices and also sacrificing his identity on Mr. Feraco's "five star points". Although I think it is okay for Govinda to follow Siddartha, I would think it is different in present day. I would never want my loyalist friends to make sacrifices to their decisions to follow me through my career choices in life. Although I would be delighted if their path is similar to the path I take, having them follow me in life no matter how much they love me would make me sad. I would take that decision as me crippling them and limiting them from what they can experiment with in life to reach their full possible potential.
I’ve always been that kid that runs into preschool and Sunday school happily, without hesitation. My parents, until this day, always tell me that I’ll be fine when I grow older, because of my ability to adapt in almost every situation. These words make it seem as if they trust me and will let me go easily, right? Wrong. My father, the over-protective worry wart, clings like a starfish to a rock at every chance he gets to keep me around. Every time I go out, even just going to school events, he asks the “five W’s”: Who are you going with? What are you doing? When will you be back? Where are you going? And, why do you have to go?
The father in War reminds me of my father. He confidently assures his fellow mourning parents that their child’s death is only for the best. The man states, “Everyone should stop crying; everyone should laugh, as I do…or at least thank God- as I do.” He does so, ever so prideful and sure of it, just as my father constantly reminded me that he trusted me, and that I would set out only to do great things. The man in War broke down as he realized his son was really dead, much like the way my dad interrogates me when I set foot outside the house.
I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how positive my parents try to stay during their child’s rapid growth, no matter what words they speak, they cannot accept their children distancing themselves from home. Even though Siddartha’s father after long hours accepted that Siddartha needs to go to discover his own life, my father may never be content with that. Siddartha’s father’s decision is wise. Not to say that I’m dependent on my dad, but I’ve learned too many lessons before I could make my mistakes from my father. When college move-in day comes around I think I will be ready just like my first day at preschool. Though I do not know what I’m in search for in my life, I know that it’s something that needs to be done without my parents as my training wheels.
This was really well written Bella! I liked how you tied in your personal experiences with your dad so readers can really understand who he is and his feelings towards you. I loved it!
Bella! I loved the way you used imagery to illustrate the way that your father "clings like a starfish to a rock" and with that approach it supported your wanting to grow up and your father not allowing you to do so.
Part of growing up is being able to make your own decisions and learning from your mistakes. Although senior year is just beginning, it is also marking the end of our high school education. Many of us will follow different paths, whether it is attending a university, community college, going straight into a career, or even taking a few years off. My parents had it all planned out for me; it was to become a pediatrician. As a child, I have always wanted to please and respect my parents; however, I couldn’t follow their wishes of becoming a pediatrician and wanting to attend a college near home. Instead, after countless hours of research and experimentation through volunteering, I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, all I know is that I don’t want to become a pediatrician. After pacing back and forth, thinking “what will my parents think when I tell them I don’t want to follow their wishes, they’ve raised me for 17 years the least I could do is do what they want…”, I decided to tell them that I wasn’t able to follow their wishes because it was their dream not mines.
My parents were hesitant and surprised at first because this was the first time I had not gone with their wishes. It was then my parents realized that they have taught me everything they could and weren’t able to stop me from doing what I wanted to do. They had made the decision of letting me go when the time comes. They trust that I am going to find myself in the future and through the experiences I have coming. Like Siddhartha and Mr. Feracos’ father, my parents came to the conclusion that they must let me go determine and experience things without their aid. They have given me all that they could and trust that I will use what I’ve learned to ultimately choose what’s best for me.
I agree with how you say it is your life and not theirs. I applaud you for standing up for yourself and telling your parents what you wanted to do rather than just stick through living with what they wanted.
Finally, Siddhartha goes in search of…something. Maybe truth...perhaps fulfillment, or a cure for restlessness...even a simple sense of peace. He has very little idea of how to find any of it; he’s looking for something, but he doesn’t quite understand what he’s looking for yet.
Do you know what you’re looking for?
People have a hidden desire for something they want, but don’t admit it to others or even to themselves, some don’t realize what they want, others know exactly what they are striving for. In today’s society people don’t necessarily know what they want, they get spoon fed all their lives. They have to follow the tradition of excellence, tradition, pressure, and competition, between peers striving to be the best. Instead of knowing what they want they follow what other people want from them. They don’t know what they’re looking for but are blinded by what others expect from them. They don’t want to disappoint the people who raised them, who they think are wiser and have more knowledge of the real world. They listen to what they are told and follow without knowing, they have been brain washed to follow orders rather than break out and be independent.
Like any cliché person would say my story is still being written. To understand what I want is one of the biggest mysteries I find myself thinking about each day. Frankly, I honestly have no idea what I want to do with myself; I have no idea what the future holds or what I am looking for. For ages I grew up with parents babying me telling me what they want from me, what they hope to see in me. They have never once asked what I wanted to do; they have given me choices from one school to another. Never even asking if I wanted to attend school, and with this I never argued, just listened. I always replied and answered with what I knew they wanted to hear, but not once did I think for myself. I don’t want to disappoint my parents but I am too scared to go out looking for an answer, too frightened to take that huge step to the real world where my parents aren’t holding my hand the whole way through.
Hey Jennifer, I agree completely with your point that many people don't know what they want. I like how this was written with transparency!
Siddhartha should be neither admired nor criticized for his decision. His decision should simply just be accepted. I say this because he is just following human instinct; people tend to want what they cannot or do not already have. It’s just like that saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side.” I would’ve probably made a similar decision if I were in his shoes. I may not have necessarily chosen to become a Samana, but I probably would’ve tried to see what else life had to offer me. Humans tend to adapt to their surroundings rather easily. This, in turn, leads us to find ourselves quickly unsatisfied with our current lifestyle and constantly dreaming of a new and different one. We’re constantly trying to push our boundaries and extent our lives into something bigger than what it already is. I know that my lifestyle is perfectly satisfying; I have a supportive group of friends, a kind family, a roof over my head, etc. However, I must admit that I do not always frequently find myself dreaming of a different type of lifestyle, whether it be the type of lifestyle I imagine I’ll have when I go to college, or even what my ideal lifestyle would be like in the far future, perhaps with a husband, a family, dogs, and maybe even kids.
I admire the decision that Siddhartha’s father made because it’s such a difficult one for a parent to confront. He basically acknowledged the fact that it was time for Siddhartha to make his own decisions, even if it went against his own wishes. This is a hard thing for parents to face because they are essentially acknowledging the fact that their children are growing up and that it’s time for them to “leave the nest.” My parents have yet to reach that level of acknowledgement. They forbid me from applying to colleges that are out of California and they support me going to a college closer to home. The closer, the better. Surprisingly, unlike many other seniors, I actually don’t find it very difficult for me to comply to their wishes because I am personally not one to wander too far from home to begin with. I actually understand why they feel this way because I feel like I would have the same difficulty letting go of my own children. So I hold Siddhartha’s father in high regard because he was not only able to accept Siddhartha’s choice but also was able to allow his son carry through with it.
I agree completely with the decision the father made for Siddhartha, it was both difficult but him staying up and checking over and over again where his son stood really showed it bothered him. I think it really showed how much he didn't want to let go of his son but at the same time knew that Siddhartha wanted it more than anything.
I agree with you and your statements about human instincts. People always want more and don't settle until they are satisfied, but satisfaction only lasts for so long until another goal is within reach. I also liked how your stated that Siddhartha's father has to acknowledge his son is growing up and is no longer the person who he wants Siddhartha to be.
Siddhartha is really cool. He followed his convictions and his need for more from life and resolved to not do anything until he was allowed to follow his conviction. I kept thinking about the poem Richard Corey, by Edwin Arlington Robinson, an example of how things aren’t always as it seems. During my first read of the chapter I was convinced Siddhartha was foolish. He seemed to have everything (wisdom and the ability to make everyone happy) and he still wasn’t content. Like Richard Corey, he had it all, but was missing the one thing they really wanted. For Richard Corey it was a sense of being normal, for Siddhartha it was a need for more challenges. The main difference is: Siddhartha decided not to live a lie that he was content with the amount of wisdom that he had gained from his village and I think that is worth respect.
I would have made the same choices as Siddhartha. I think there is a time when you have learned all you can from your surroundings and when that time comes it is time to leave. If given a chance to stay in school for forever, to learn all you can from every teacher in every class would you stay? It would get easy after a while, it would get boring. I wouldn’t want to stay. We as human beings need to move on, to keep setting our goals higher, and to grow up.
I definitely agree with your point about humans needing to set higher and higher goals; without having something to strive for, we would become bored and restless, and life would become meaningless.
I enjoyed your first sentence where you mentioned that Siddhartha is "cool". In fact, I was really surprised. I found it amusing and instantly thought of a cool cat and Siddhartha wearing jazz clothing with a snazzy blues tune playing behind him as he snaps. (: I don't mean my comment in any rude or derogatory way, I really enjoyed it. Good job. (: Sorry if this posts twice! My internet disconnected.
from now on whenever i see Siddhartha's i will think of a cool jazzy cat
My grandmother once said: “People cannot fully understand filial love unless they become parents one day,” and she was right. I have long been implanted with the idea that it is totally natural and out of instincts that parents provide attention and protections to their children. From a scientific perspective, actions taken by parents to nurture and protect are simply means of ensuring their reproductive success. However, people did not understand this fundamental mechanism of preserving gene pools so they used “love” to describe this mystical filial affection. Despite these convincing scientific facts, parental emotions are much more complex than simple effects of progesterone in a mother’s brain, an idea I will only understand when I become a father. For us humans, parent-child interactions last significantly longer than many other species, which is why deep and long term emotional attachments are allowed to develop (advanced intelligence is another reason). The development of father and son relation carries a sense of inheritance, as a father sees his son grow, he sees the rise of an extension of himself just like Helen Rowland once wrote: “A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.” A son carries his father’s hope and expectation, thus separation between father and son is almost like putting an end to a father’s extension. The mentality of fathers from War can be analyzed in similar fashion; the war takes away sons from fathers, which is equivalent to taking away their dearest hope. The injury of war does not only take away the soul of the son, but also his father’s, which has been eternally connected to his son. Similarly bond and emotion are display in Siddhartha, although the father is disturbed by the feeling of anger and disappointment, he respected Siddhartha’s choice. The father’s heart aching feeling resembles the feeling of losing a sense of continuity. The only difference between the father from Siddhartha and the fathers from war is that the former chose to let go of his son while the latter were forced to give up their sons due to dire circumstances.
I really cannot decide if I will make the same decision because I am unable to grasp the feeling of being a father yet. It is a strange difficult image that one day I will become a father, I am still a teenager, I am still young and thus I do not want to consider the “burden” a son will bring. It might sound very selfish of me to think of children as burden, but it is truly difficult for me to image the weight of responsibility of a father while I still need protections and guidance from my own parents. I respects the decision made by Siddhartha’s father since a wise man knows how to choose the best for his son.
my second paragraph starts from "I really cannot decide..."
I don't know if this is intentional, but I love how you talk about the science with such certainty and emotional fatherhood with a small tone of uncertainty.
I like how you talk about love and parental care in a scientific persuasive, and the quote by your grandmother is really true!
I tremble at the thought of leaving home. I will tremble when my children learn to be independent and leave the home. My parents have always given me their opinion; they have always tried to nudge me into a certain direction. To my mom, pursuing electrical engineering seemed too far-fetched for a girl. I wanted to join the Solar Cup Team— a group of students who built a solar powered boat for a competition. I was discouraged to spend my time on something “girls just don’t do.” In the end, however, my parents took time off work to watch me compete in a boat race using the vessel our team engineered. Eventually, my parents supported my decision even though they were skeptical initially. Through my hard work and dedication, I convinced my parents that my ambitions with the team were beneficial for my academic career and personal growth.
Like my parents, I definitely will express my opinions about which path my child should take and I will allow my child to make the final decision without protest. Because I will make such a large emotional and financial investment in my child, I would feel the need to strongly express what I want from him or her. I would give him advice based on my own experience in the attempt to steer him or her in the right direction. If my child fails because I did not guide him or her properly, I would feel responsibly because it is my duty to ensure that my child is more successful than I am.
I liked the first sentence, I liked the second sentence, I wish you started the the third sentence the same way for effect.
A little too much on Solar Cup although I might be in the wrong position to mention anything about it.
I WANT MORE ON WHY SID'S DAD MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
Since day one, my parents always let me make my own decisions. Sometimes they knew it was not the right choice to make, but they never told me what to do. Instead, they tried pointing me in the right direction but whether I went that way or not was ultimately up to me. I’m sure whatever it is I decide to after high school, my parents will be supportive of my decision as they always have been. I would do the same with my kids. They need to know that their life is in their own hands and have to be ready to take the wheel when the time comes.
Siddhartha’s father definitely made the right decision. In the first chapter it says “Then the father realized that Siddhartha could no longer remain with him at home- that he had already left him.” Siddhartha was searching for something that nobody could ever teach him. He didn’t know what he wanted, but he knew he had to find it. This was a wise decision by Siddhartha. He would never be happy until he knew what he was searching for and how to get it.
On the other hand, I think Govinda’s decision was very immature. There comes a time when you have to learn to let go of people or things. He has to let Siddhartha go down his own path and he should as well. You can’t hold on to the past as Govinda is doing.
By choosing to leave his home to start a NEW and more independent life alongside Siddhartha, isn't Govinda actually moving towards his future as opposed to "hold[ing] on to the past"? You claim that Govinda's decision was immature because there is a time to "let go of people or things", but by staying at home instead of following Siddhartha on his journey, wouldn't Govinda essentially be refusing to let go of his attachment to his family and his home?
Devin, i see what you mean. I guess I was seeing it from a different perspective. The book says "He wanted to follow Siddhartha, the beloved, the magnificent." To me that sounds like Govinda has nothing he is attached to or except for Siddhartha. You may be right, but I see it differently.
There are many people who think G-man's decision is the wrong one, but is there anything wrong if your purpose in life is to accompany someone else? I mean in marriage you vow to accompany your partner for life.
I agree with Neil but for different reasons. Govindas decision for following Siddartha is immature but also selfish. I could be reading Govida completely wrong but it seems like he just wants to ride Siddarthas coattails of success without having to do that much himself. While Govindas friendship with Siddartha may be genuine he also has different reasons to follow Siddartha.
When I think about the day the class of 2012 walking in a cap and gown about to receive a diploma, I think what is next for us? What is next for me? Being a teenager on a journey to adulthood my emotions are overflowing with confusion, happiness, and intimidation. On this journey my mom has definitely been my support system no matter what. I seek to her when I need advice for anything whether it’s picking out an outfit or deciding what my profession will be, however when it comes to what college to go to and what path to go down my mom becomes silent. Being the youngest in my family I assumed my mom would help me and have a big say in what college I would be going to, however I am wrong. My constant questions of, “Should I go to a four year or community college?”, “Should I stay close to home or not?” always ends with the same simple answer, “Do what makes you happy.” What am I suppose to say to that? What will make me happy is staying in high school and not making important life changing decisions.
Honestly my future scares me half to death and I feel like I’m in a whirlpool of my emotions with college applications, deciding where to live, worrying about staying connected with all my friends, and not forgetting to soak in every moment I have before college. Being an “almost adult” is stressful and all I want to do is run to my mom and ask her to make my decisions for me. I know it sounds immature and selfish but the consistent pressure to build my life now is secretly tearing me apart from the inside. So my mother made her decision. Her decision is to help me see, I have to make my own decisions and I have to make my own mistakes, just like your dad. Siddhartha’s father definitely seemed to be the opposite of how my mom is; he planned everything out for Siddhartha and did not realize Siddhartha wanted something different. So as I count down the days to July 15th I know I must make my OWN decisions no matter how scared I am and realize my mom’s decision to help me or not will eventually benefit me at the end of the road.
I love the part about "Do what makes you happy". I feel like that so often and when I think about what actually makes me happy, I get conflicted with what I actually want and what I think I need. Great post!
Parenthood is potentially the greatest gift that we could be given in this life time. Some people take it more lightly than others. Some would be perfectly content if they were to never become parents. But some people, like me, spend a life time looking forward to the moment when they bring to the world the gift of a tiny new soul. You are suddenly responsible for strengthening this soul, for molding this mind, and for caring for this being forever more. It no longer matters what was thought of parenthood ten years ago, six months ago, or even two days ago, because this little person in your arms will hold the largest, warmest place in your heart and mind from this moment forward. Having such a deep connection with a being, can we ever truly let them go, and for what incentive would we cut ties with those that we love the most?
I would hope that no, we never really let them go, at least not forever. However, the time will come when the child that we cared for and watched grow is no longer there; before us will stand an adult who is strong, passionate, and determined. And if this is true, when they are ready to venture out into the world, they will, whether we approve or not. Our choice is then to fight, show utter distaste for their choices, and send them on their way wavering uneasily, or we can support them and their decisions, be prepared for the best and worst, and watch them confidently leap from the nest. I would challenge any parent to stand idly by as the center of their life walks away, without a single thought of telling them to stay. But again, I would hope to be nothing less than the most supportive of parents, with a mind set that my child’s happiness is incentive enough to let them go.
You sound like you're going to be a great caring parent (if you are going to have children)
As I look back on the last twelve years I’ve been in school, there was never a year when I couldn’t think about “I’m one year closer to going college.” Now that I’m in my last year of high school, it just hit me; it only occurred to me now that in ten months I will be graduating and moving off into the real world. Today in class we discussed that we go into college as kids and come out hopefully as adults or as close to adulthood as possible. It made me wonder: How will I know when I become an adult? When will I get there? The answer is: I won’t, but like Siddhartha, I need to learn how to take that first step into the real world to find an identity I can call my own. This ties in with the meaning behind “The Pursuit of Happiness” by Jon Gertner, we can never be truly sure what will make us happy, we only think this will make us happy or that will be the better choice for our future, but we won’t know for sure until we make the choice to do so.
I admire the way Siddhartha stood up to his father wanting to join the ascetics and become a Samana. If it had been me, I don’t think I would’ve been able to stand from dusk to dawn in the same stubborn position as Siddhartha did, but I wouldn’t give up if I knew for certain this is what I wanted to do. Even though this was a tough choice to make, I can honestly say that the decision his father made the bond between him and Siddhartha stronger. By trusting in Siddhartha to go become a Samana, shows how much he supports him even though he wanted him to follow in his footsteps someday. And I think that’s how I would treat my kids someday in the future, to be able to trust in them and will be able to support whatever they wish to become so that they wouldn’t have to hesitate to take that one step into finding their own identity.
I love how you related your own life to Siddhartha's. Yes, college is looming near and we all need to get ready - its a really scary thing! We share really similar view points too. I totally admire Siddhartha for know what he wants at such a young age.
As graduation day creeps closer and closer, I start to feel overwhelmed thinking about the stresses and complexity of the world away from the protection of my parents. After I leave home I will have no one to fall back on when I make mistakes, and that frightens me. All my life my parents have been very supportive in the decisions I make; they might not agree with me at first but in the end they understand that I need to make my own choices to grow and become a better person. Independence is crucial to growing as a person, and though they will miss me, my parents accept the fact that I have to be on my own to experience life fully. They have been training me for the “curve balls” of the “real world” so I can recover and jump right back on my feet when I do not succeed. I view my future as a construction site; only I have the blueprints. My parents have set the foundation for me to achieve after I leave home, but I will make the decisions that ultimately determine what my building will be.
Someday I might be faced with the difficult decision of letting my children go off to become independent; whether that may be to college (hopefully), or far away to look for a job. My children will definitely be equipped with enough knowledge and good judgment skills for me to feel comfortable with them making their own choices. I’ll make sure to give them a good 17 years or so of practice, as my parents have done with me. When the time comes for them to leave home in search of their own niche in the world, I trust that they can handle being on their own.
It’s impossible for me to know exactly what’s ahead in life, but I am prepared to deal with it, due in part to my parents. They have always encouraged me to select my own paths and so when I’m finally ready to jump in to the world without a safety net, they won’t need to worry.
Your first paragraph is so colorful; it really caught my eye. Your piece is enjoyable to read, and to the point without lacking detail. Really nice work!
I like how you stress the importance of independence as well as how it affects you. You have some good points in your piece. Good job!
I really enjoyed your usage in connection to a construction site to illustrate the different components that represent the many aspects of life given to you by your parents and what you have learned on your own. Beside the connection to a construction site, your addition of a sports analogy definitely heighten your post.
Your analogy about the blueprints of the building is very nifty; I haven't thought of my life in that way before. Nice work.
Departure Day, D-Day as I like to call it, scared me more than any of my fears. I know students who are counting down the days, one by one, until graduation, and all I did was panic whenever the thought of leaving home came to mind. I have already voiced what I plan to do after graduation with my father so I know what decision he has made regarding my future. Unlike Siddhartha’s father, he did not show any signs of displeasure. At first, I was surprised because my father always has something to add on or to correct, but this time he didn’t. I thought to myself how and why this could be, and then I realized maybe it’s because the path that I intended to follow was based on his suggestions and his guidance. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to go to medical school and work in the medical field, but what frightens me is that my father was the one who pointed me in this direction. I purposefully bring up the subject of leaving every single time we have dinner together, and his response is always the same. He states how proud he is of me, and he’s sure that I will succeed in whatever I put my mind to and that’s the end of the conversation. That’s not the answer I wanted or expected.
I wanted my father to reply to me as Siddartha’s father replied to him when Siddartha told his father of his plans. My habit of listening to my father lecture me is something that I’m accustomed to, and it just didn’t feel right when my dad didn’t give me advice on any of my plans. I wanted him to do what he has always done when I tell him something, which is to lecture me and give me advice. After a couple of weeks, I realized that he wasn’t giving me advice not because we had the same plans in mind, but because he trusts that he has taught me well, and at this point in my life, I should be able to make my own decisions. My dad isn’t going to be there when I’m in college, and I’m going to have to make decisions on my own, big and small ones alike. By saying nothing, my dad, once again, has taught me something I should have known a long time ago, which is to be able to take risks without having someone there to hold my hand along the way. Only 280 days left until I willingly let go of my father’s hand.
Like Simon (post #1) said, Departure Day also “haunts me” every single day. It is something new to all of us, something that we have never encountered and something that we will never encounter again. I would call that something adulthood. Many of us 12th graders can act like adults, have our own jobs, unlikely, but possibly our own child(ren), and even be mature and stuff, but those things don’t make us adults. Even the legal age of adulthood in this country (18), itself, is not what actually makes us adults. Honestly, I do not know for sure what it is that transforms us into adults. But, I do know that wisdom and experience play a big role in that transformation.
Parents are usually never willing to just let their little baby face the world alone, even if it is the right thing. Deep down inside, whether they express it or not, parents know that there will be that one day where their little babies would have to go off into the world. Sometimes, the “little baby” has to put up a fight of his/her word against the parents’. For example, when Siddhartha asks his father if he can go off and become a Samana, his father doesn’t approve. Also, the father denies the fact that it is time to let his little baby to go off into the world because that little baby is now all grown up. My parents have always supported me and my decisions, but they have also corrected me when I have been wrong by explaining to me how and why I have been or am wrong. I cannot imagine what it is like to be a parent because apparently, I am not even an adult yet. I somewhat imagine parenting as babysitting but for a very long duration of time. I know one day, if I am a parent and if nothing bad happens to my kid(s), I will have to also let them go. No matter how hard it may be, it is reality, and reality is our life.
Everyone seeks to attain their dreams and aspirations through different ways. In Govinda's case, he chooses to reach his goals through following Siddhartha. As Siddhartha's follower, Govinda realizes that his own destiny would come from Siddhartha's. Siddhartha's decision to leave the village shocked Govinda, but he knew that "[Siddhartha's] destiny was beginning to unfold itself, and with his destiny, his own", motivating him to follow Siddhartha's choice. Govinda is not merely pursuing Siddhartha to help him fulfill his goals, he is trying to reach his own with the restraints of being a follower. If Govinda feels that chasing after Siddhartha is the best way to reach his dreams, then his decision to follow after him is a wise choice.
I probably would not be able to make the same decision as Govinda mainly because I don't have a person equivalent to Siddhartha in my life nor do I have as much loyalty as Govinda. If I did have a person I could see as my Siddhartha, I'm not sure if I'd be able to dedicate my life to following them. I would likely be able to follow them to a certain extent before developing my own destiny and breaking away from them. I would not create my destiny in the image of another person's. Unlike Govinda, I do not have a level of loyalty high enough for me to do this.
Though I am not a parent yet, I have already decided that letting my child choose his/her path will be a definite. Eventually he/she will pass that shelter from the outside dangers I will provide. Thus, I would also want my child to live his/her own life and make decisions for himself/herself. Besides, technology makes it convenient now to contact another party. I can communicate with my child easily after he/she leaves me.
Honestly, I don't think you can guarantee your actions unless you actually do become a parent and see what it is like to have your own babies, the ones that you risked your life for in order to deliver, to just go off once you have nourished him/her for about 18 years.
I said I'll let my child decide what he/she want to do, but I didn't say I would just go off. Sorry, I probably should have added more.
I wouldn't just leave them. I would do my best as a parent to help them when they meet adversity and such. However, I meant that I wouldn't make choices for them or force them to do something that he/she do not like.
And yes, I don't have my own child yet so I can't guarentee anything yet. However.. for some things you just have a certain sense of feeling from whereever your experiences come from. I have that feeling.
I agree with the parenting choice of letting your child choose their own path. That's something I stand by & I know I'll stand by in the future :->
I think I've always been the kid that had to learn on his own for reasons that I could and could not control. Being the older brother, I've always felt the need to show strength and courage to set an example for my younger brother. My parents not only agreed but expected that of me and so they left me on my own. At times it was hard for my parents to let me be on my own. They never slept until I get home, even if they had worked all day and it was 4 A.M. I could expect them to be waiting for me when I came through the door. This being said, I think it will be hard for my parents to "leave the hive" but then again, they will do it with pride and confidence, like they did when i was growing up.
Everyone is looking for something in life but not everyone boldly searches for it as Siddartha does, so kudos to him. He may or may not find it but at least he's devoted to searching for it. As for me, I'm not sure what I'm searching for. I feel like everybody has this "American Dream" to make a lot of money when they grow up, have a happy family, enjoy the finer things, and so do I, but I'm not sure if that's whats going to make me happy once I have it. Honestly after a few days of having Search class, I feel like what I'm searching for has actually distanced itself from me but I'm excited to continue searching for it in the future in the real world as a man.
I think my parents are opposite of yours, although my parents would be worried of me if I came home late, they would not stay up just to wait for me. I think as I growing older they have more capacity to sleep peacefully even if I am not home. They of course know that I am safe, because I let them know where I am before they sleep and I make sure they know my plans for the night.
Hey Brandon! Yes, it is hard for parents to leave kids on their own, but if you are leaving home for college or for something you are pursuing that would be a totally different story. I believe your parents will worry but still had to let you go. Because you are the one hold control of your own life. and Great work!!
People feel unsatisfied with life at times. Siddhartha was not happy with his current level of wisdom, and felt that he could not receive any more knowledge by staying stationary. We should admire Siddhartha for making a tough choice, leaving a stable and secure home is always life changing. But that is also what Siddhartha needs. I would most likely not mirror Siddhartha’s actions because of my family oriented mindset. In addition, Siddhartha actions are on the extreme side of the spectrum because he not only leaves his family, he journeys faraway with strangers with no food or shelter.
As for my children, I stubbornly view them as my way of remedying past mistakes and regrets. This selfish way of raising them is my hope that they will be better and more successful than me. Their path is their own, but as a parent I feel it is my obligation and responsibility to guide them away from wrong steps. Referring to our children people feel “We belong to them but they never belong to us”, however the relationship between a parent and child goes both ways. A person has parents whether he wants to or not, and for me I also have responsibility for my parents. In the end those who will be on your side no matter what is your family. My parents cannot control my life but that does not mean I do not belong to them because as I would say “these are my parents” they would like to say “this is my son”.
No one is belong to another person! Joseph is always Joseph!
I do not think belong means I am not my own person. Belong meaning ownership, or a sense of responsibility. I belong to my parents because they take responsibility for me no matter what, and I take responsibility for them no matter what.
My family is very close. But as departure day draws near I believe my parents will let me make my own decision on wanting to leave and explore a whole new world. Siddhartha’s father was very displeased with Siddhartha’s choice of leaving the Brahmins and going with the Samanas, but he knew his son had already left with the Samanas, “mentally”. I feel that I’m responsible enough to live independently when the time comes near to move on with my life. My parents would make the same decision as your parents did, but they would be there for me if I was in trouble. I love my family but once I graduate and have a steady income I assume it would be time to live on my own. Siddhartha knew it was his time to go and live a new and more exhilarating life. Siddhartha’s father says “if you find disillusionment, come back, and we shall again offer sacrifices to the gods together”. His dad will still be there for Siddhartha if he wants to go back with the Brahmins. My parents will be rooting for me 100% of the way and if I fail they’ll always be there to support me.
I think when I’m a father, depending if I have a daughter, I would want my sons to go out and enjoy life on their own, to come across new adventures and perceive life. I would want my children to gain the most knowledge I can feed them. Hopefully all my children will be ready for departure day. It would be more emotional for my daughters because my little girl would finally be gone into the real world, no one to protect her if she needs help. I know I would make the same decision as the Brahmin for my daughter, I would tell them no but ultimately we know we can’t stop them from leaving. “We belong to them but they never belong to us.” I definitely agree with that sentiment because once they have learned everything from us they will want to go do it on their own. If my children fall I will always be there to pick them back on their feet.
Every human being eternally pursues the Five Points - love, enlightenment, security, indepedence, and security - and also strives for balance between them. Siddartha is no different. But does he know specifically what he is looking for? Daniel Gilbert's study, as described in Jon Gertner's The Futile Pursuit of Happiness, suggests that people tend not to know what they truly desire. Instead, people believe that certain actions will lead to great happiness, but in reality these actions yield very little fulfillment. Impact bias - that is, miscalculating the importance of the outcomes of certain actions - leads people to do things that do not really fulfill or satisfy the needs of the self. And it is clear that Siddhartha suffers from this; he leaves home believing that the Samanas will show him the way and later realizes that even the Samanas do not know the way.
But what about me? Do I know what I am looking for, or do I merely think I know? Perhaps - no - of course I am searching for "human potential"; this class, after all, is called Search for Human Potential. But what is human potential? I do not know. And thus it would appear that I do not know for what I am looking after all. But of course I do not know! For truly, whichever seventeen-year-old believes himself to know exactly what he wants is only deluding himself. Indeed, even many adults do not know what they want, and Gilbert's study of happiness only reaffirms this.
Unlike other kids of my age, I left home when I was 15. Due to my departure from home, I found many touching similarities between my own experiences and Siddhartha’s.
Honestly, I have never thought about moving out when I was little. I always told my mom that I will stay with her forever and ever. Well, I failed my promise pretty soon after.
My family moved to a little town called Pahrump in Nevada when I was 12. It was a peaceful little town with a small population of nearly 40,000 people. Everything seems fine at the beginning. Then, as time passed on, I found this place boring and exhausting. My teacher never assigns homework and the most popular place in town was Wal-mart. Thus, I had nothing to do after school but stay home and rest. I begun to feel that this lifestyle would not always make me happy, give me peach, satisfy and suffice me. So I finally made the same decision as Siddhartha ---- to pursuit the life I want.
My mother always says “before you make a decision, you have to know what you have, what you want, and what you are willing to sacrifice.” So when I told my parents about my thoughts of leaving home, they accepted my decision after my long-hours of persuasion. My parents had made the same choice as Mr. Feraco’s father of letting me go for a try. However, they warned me ahead of time that they would not stay with me when I am so far away from home, and I will have to deal with an entirely new environment by myself. I accepted. So, here I am, all fresh and doing homework in Arcadia! Up to now, I still believe that is the sacrifice I had to make to get what I want, and that sacrifice is worthy.
Although I feel insecure and lost when first leaving home, my three years of life in Arcadia had proved that my decision was right. I would probably make the same decision as my parents, Mr.Feraco’s father, and the father in the short story “War”. I want my children to be able to pursuit their own interests and life without regrets. Siddhartha’s father’s decision of letting Siddhartha go is wiser than held him back. I believe that all the parents wish their kids the best, however, some choose to give their kids the best in their opinion and some just respect one’s own decision.
Siddhartha’s decision is brave and admirable as he knows what he want and pursuits it, though Govinda’s decision to leave the village with Siddhartha was not so wise. Personally, I would never does sacrifice my own will in order to follow someone else. Human beings are independent and unique. Govinda should let go of his own identity and leave the village with Siddhartha as his follower.
Nonetheless, I am still looking for my enlightment and fulfillment for life. No matter what decision I make and the consequences are good or bad, I knew that as long as I did it I will not leave regrets. And that is exactly how I want my life to be.
You left home? By yourself? To pursue a more exciting life? That's pretty baller. I suppose you've got a sturdy grip on your life then, roughing it by yourself in a hostile, dangerous environment such as Arcadia [note: sarcasm]. But seriously, that's cool! I'm genuninely interested in hearing more about your life story, if you wouldn't mind!
I don't know about you guys, but I think this Lei girl pretty much won. At life.
Is that true?
Your life seems so unbelievable. I could never bring myself to take such big risks in life. You are an amazing person! (:
My parents would probably not let me go so free like that.
The form of your response seems very similar to Mr. Feraco's story, I was wondering if you used his story as an outline. (No judgement!)
I think your life decision is really similar to Siddhartha's decision. Must be tough maintaining such an independent life in a way where your parents aren't there to watch over you (assuming you are still living on their expenses).
Also, I think that disagree with your statement that "Govinda’s decision to leave the village with Siddhartha was not so wise" because to Govinda, Siddhartha was real special. Govinda chose to believe that Siddhartha was his everything.
Oops, I kind of didn't finish the reply well enough.
Govinda chose to believe that Siddhartha was his everything so therefore in a way, what he wants in life can be attained by following Siddhartha
Stephanie Huang Period1
Wow, i never knew that you left home. Must have been really interesting experiencing new things without your parents, and it must have been really annoying trying to convince your parents to let you come to Arcadia.
At this world,There is a true love comes from my father. Everything I want to be, do, or have comes from my father's love. Without his love, I wouldn't move. There would be no positive force to propel me to get up in the morning, to walk, play, jump, speak, learn, or do anything at all. I'd be like a stone statue. It is the positive force of father's love that inspires me to move and gives me that desire to be, do, or have anything. The positive force of father's love can create and increase anything good, and change anything negative in my life. I have the power over my health, my ability, my realtionships, and every area of my life. And that power of father's love is inside me.
I'm looking for love, because love will do anything for me. I can harness the force of love to help me with anything in my life. I can hand over anything I need to remember, and ask the force of love to remind me of it at the perfect time. I can have the force of love be my alarm clock and wake me at the time I want. The force of love will be my personal assistant, money manager, personal health trainer, and relationship counselor, or any task I want to give it. But it will only do these things for me when I unite with it through love, appreciation, and gratitude. It will only do these things for me when I join forces with it. It will trying to control everything on my own. That's why I am looking for love.
My parents have been teaching me skills and habits that will possibly help me after I leave for later on. They most likely will since they often let me make my own choices. After coming home from school my parents often give the choice of doing anything. They give me the oppurtunity to let me prove that I’m responsible. As for me, I will take the path Siddhartha’s father made and let his son do what he wanted to do. People’s futures are their own to shape and parents shouldn’t choose their children’s future for them, only guide them to it.
Siddhartha’s father’s decision to let his son go was wise yet at the same time, it wasn’t. Letting Siddhartha leave was wise let Siddhartha be able to learn more since he learned many things from the village already. However, letting Siddartha go with only his close friend means that something bad could happen to one of both of them. Many perils exist in the world that could easily put people’s lives in danger such as wild animals, disease, and other people with malicious intents. Even though Siddhartha is traveling with the Samanans, Siddhartha’s father should’ve checked on how his son was doing. Siddhartha’s choices were wise since he gained all that he could learn from his town so he had to find somewhere else to learn.
My parents are exactly the same. They leave it up to me when I should do my homework. They no longer nag at me to start homework. Now they give me the responsibility to do what I want
My ultimate goal in life since I could remember was to move out after high school. At first it was so I could eat whatever I wanted when I wanted, but as I got older my reasons changed. Now it’s more that I want to be more independent and more importantly to me is to have space. I already know what my parents reactions will be. My dad has told me I need to travel the world as much as possible because he knows I need to leave home to finish growing. My mom on the other hand will try to keep me at home. I’ve tried to discuss with her about me moving out when I turn eighteen. She almost cried. I know she’ll be there for me and support me as much as possible, but she’s always gonna try to control my life because she thinks she knows what’s best for me.
My parents seem to have spilt the feelings that Siddhartha’s father has when Siddhartha asks to leave home. At first, Siddhartha’s father denies Siddhartha permission to leave and states “there is displeasure in my heart.” about Siddhartha’s request. That is a more formal version of what my mother’s reaction will be when I actually do try to move out. Later, Siddhartha’s father realized “that Siddhartha could no longer remain with him at home-that he had already left him.” and grants Siddhartha permission to go. That is more of my father’s first reaction; to just let me go. Regardless of my parents’ reactions I am going to leave and finish my transition into adulthood knowing my parents will still be there when I need them.
I really enjoyed your post, I think that you have two loving parents that care about you. I feel like you have the best of both worlds. If both of your parents were the same way, you would either be kicked out of house or held in against your will. My question is, when you are older what decesion will you make for your kids about moving out?
Interesting point, I guess I do have the best of both worlds. As for my kids I'm fairly certain that I'd push them to make their own decisions and to be independent regardless of how I feel, more of how my father is with me.
Indeed it is difficult for parents to cut ties with their children, especially since parents have never before experienced anything like it. Siddhartha’s father faced much anxiety and distress when his son requested to leave his home village, but by allowing his son to start his own life journey, Siddhartha’s father just made one of the wisest decisions in his life. Up to this point, Siddhartha has learned and experienced everything possible in his home village, yet his vessel feels empty because he has neither experience nor knowledge from other areas of the world. It is vital to Siddhartha’s life that he explores the world he lives in because it will define and shape his character into something distinct and unique, something that only he can possess. When Siddhartha asked his father to join the Samanas, he essentially emerged from his provincial cocoon and decided that he would make his own destiny. This is why Siddhartha’s father’s decision was so wise; he gave his son the opportunity to grow into whatever his son was destined to be.
Govinda is extremely supportive of Siddhartha, and almost even worships Siddhartha as a deity. Although this does show Govinda’s utmost loyalty and dedication to his relationships, it is not necessarily a good idea for Govinda to follow Siddhartha. Firstly, Govinda is too dependent on Siddhartha and does not make decisions for himself. For example, when Siddhartha and Govinda go to meditate at the banyan tree, Govinda is the first to stop meditating and immediately calls out Siddhartha’s name as if he wanted to please Siddhartha like a pet dog. This indicates that Govinda is still in his dependent childhood years because he is constantly looking up to and following another figure, in this case, Siddhartha. Due to this fact, Govinda may not be ready to go on an unpredictable life journey with Siddhartha because he simply is not mature enough. Secondly, Siddhartha wants to explore the world because it is HIS vessel that feels unsatisfied, and therefore Siddhartha would be more inclined to serve his own needs. Additionally, Govinda probably would not benefit from it as much as he would if he left when he became more mature. Each person is a unique individual and matures at different rates, which is why Govinda’s choice to follow Siddhartha is not the wisest idea, since Govinda may not be ready for what Siddhartha’s personal journey entails.
i agree with you no one tells you how to be a parent you just figure it out. i have friends than have children and i cant believe how they do it. parenting is not easy especially if your going to school or have a job.
More often then so, many contemplate whether or not our choices make us who we are. With much assumption, the approach from then on is what defines us. The lack of confidence that many do no hold demonstrates the person we choose to be. Unlike many, on countless occasions I choose to embrace the person that I am and clearly, so does Siddhartha. My decisions frequently best characterize my personality, sometimes uptight, sometimes annul but most times inexperienced. Frankly, I admire Siddhartha; his courage makes him his own person, similar to us, he symbolizes the not yet adult, but not either a teen. So, who exactly are we? We exhibit much maturity, but does it justify that are decisions are correct? In essence, are our opinions legitimate?
The crucial distinction between Siddhartha and me are that I don’t exemplify or even qualify to be stated on the same level as Siddhartha. His decision required guts, something I believe that I yet to possess. The thought of leaving the nest scares me. Akin to this idea, I cannot boldly say that I can leave without the guiltiness. With such deep seated belief I would not dare to take a step without the reassurance that my every move is the best one possible. So far, my insecurity of reassurance has stopped me from achieving and trying what I have long yearned for. Genuinely, I feel that in the near future I would not be able to make such a big decision on my own without the opinions of my peers.
I've never really had a closeness with my parents, I love them very much and say that with full sincerity, but to be honest I've never really had that "lean on me relationship with my parents. When I look at Siddhartha's father I feel as though he is the exact opposite of my father. The resounding theme of my childhood was, "You have to figure it out," so even now it seems as though my dad is ready for me to go out and follow my ambitions. I've never been sure whether or not my parents have left me alone so that I would be prepared for the future, or if they were just genuinely too busy to be apart of my life. Siddhartha's father has raised Siddhartha to succeed him in his hopes and dreams, by Siddhartha straying from that path his father would clearly begin too worry, I think my parents will have a very different reaction. I believe, unless I decide to major in homelessness, they will acknowledge my passion with support.
It's interesting, since I did not experience many joys of having very watchful parents I want to have that for my child. I want my children to understand that they come before my transactions. I want them to find their own way and direction, but I want to help them when they fall and know who they are as a person. So when that distant day comes when my children graduate I wonder if I can make the decision that Siddhartha's father made. I can say with logic and fervor that I'll let them go easily, but I wonder if my love for this child will make it difficult for me to let go.
Symbolically Siddhartha was kept inside a “castle”, a place where he had guaranteed security, and love. However, living in this ideal perfect place restricted his enlightenment, independence and his identity. Siddhartha was fascinated by the dark and wild forest that lay just beyond his castle walls. Regardless of his promising future, he decided to run away from his castle and into the mysterious forest. In this forest there was no secure place, no one to trust, and no stability. Typically his decision can be looked at as foolish, but Siddhartha had made the right choice, because he had seen the emptiness in religious practices and life. Siddhartha yearned for wisdom so that he could develop an understanding for his religion and his own life. Surely a brave decision like this should be admired because the true way to find enlightenment is to step out of your comfort zone and explore opposite views, opinions and aspects of life. There have been times when I have felt I have been living in a castle, (much like my metaphor) where everything that I could possibly want is at my feet and yet I yearned for something different. There was even a time where I truly wanted to try to be homeless for a couple of days just to explore what I was missing. My father was skeptical when I suggested this endeavor, but when I mentioned it to a therapist she explained that it is perfectly normal and that I was searching for something more than just what everyone “typically” wanted. In fact, the first time I mentioned she told me of a story of a prince that one day walked out on his future kingdom and wandered into the wilderness. She told me that this prince had become Buddha. It seems that Siddhartha and Buddha have taken similar paths, I am curious to see if Siddhartha ends up as fortunate as Buddha.
There were two determining factors of Siddhartha’s father’s decision that made it a wise one. One can be expressed in a quote by the famous English poet John Dryden, “The sooner you treat your son as a man, the sooner he will be one.” Siddhartha’s father respected that this was a decision that Siddhartha had to make for himself, and in order for his son to become a man he needed to start treating him as one. Also, Siddhartha’s father must have had some doubt in his mind about his religion because he asks his son to teach him anything that he learns when he comes back. This hints that maybe his father had similar feeling, but never had the courage to risk his security/stability over his curiosity.
I liked how you related Siddhartha's experience to being in a castle. Very clever.
Growing up in an Asian cultured household, I did have a relationship with my parents but we were not very close at all, similar to Siddartha and his father. We joked and laughed at times but we never truly had the deep connection that I saw other families have. “My mission in life is to provide education for you and your brother,” my dad would always say. He wants me to succeed so no matter how much I feel like giving up, he will always be behind to push me along. Just as Siddartha’s father has done, I believe my father would let me make my own dents in life. In “War,” Pirandello shows that a father would never want to send his son off to suffer; however, fathers have to set their children free into the cruel world. Parents are supposed to prepare us to fly high in society just like how the mother eagle pushed her little hatchling out of the nest so that it can learn to fly. When the hatchling had trouble flying, the mother eagle swooped down and used her wings to catch her baby. While I am still a teenager, my parents are still here to save me with their wings but as soon as I turn eighteen, their wing will not always be there.
As I am still a child, I have yet to meet this challenge of leaving home and going to college but I will soon experience it just as my brother has. From what I observe, it is difficult to adapt to a new environment and as a parent, it must be heart-breaking to see their child leave. As Mr. Feraco has mentioned, knowledge is worth nothing without understanding so unless fathers learn to let their children go, their children will never gain the skill of understanding. As Siddartha’s father has done, I am sure my father will do to me. Parents always stand strong and proud to see their children fly high.
I like your reference to a different culture that many people try not to reference! This was really good to read!
After spending sixteen long, drab years with my parents, I can assure you my parents would not and will never eagerly make the dreaded decision to "set me free”. My parents are the typical doting, "stay-by-my-side-forever" kind of parents. The very thought of "stranding" me all by myself in the middle of the "big, cold world" makes them shiver as if someone had suddenly dumped them in the middle of a raging blizzard. Every time I bring up the topic of college, the initial reaction of my beloved caretakers is to bestow their opinion and their judgment down upon me, much like some omnipotent god ready to strike at any hint of anarchy. Wielding their power in one hand and love in the other, they clearly stated that I had to stay in California when I had casually mentioned some East coast school that had caught my eye. Although I kicked and bit at their crude comments about my aspirations of experiencing a new life away from my family, their arguments were not invalid. Money, love, kindness, and stability were things that a new life could never guarantee me; but my family could, California could. California is my home, my comfort zone, and I can’t bring myself to pull away from the ones who have always been there for me, regardless of my worth to them. My parents can’t bring themselves to let me go, but only because I can’t bring myself to leave. Yet, in my heart I know, if I ever truly wish to leave this home of mine, my parents would take the time to have a heart to heart conversation with me. We would lay out our deepest fears and our truest dreams on the table and see what would unfold. Even though it doesn’t seem like my family would let me go, I know in my heart if I set my goals one hundred percent on whatever college they would honor my decision and help me go forth. I allow my mother and my father to play the role of an all powerful god because I want that. I want the security and reassurance that someone wants me here; I’m not just another person in their lives. Sounds selfish, I know. My parents know too, they know I need them. My mother and my father will be what I want them to be, and for now I want them to be the overprotective, supportive, and loving parents that they are.
Even though I have been living my entire life as me, I don’t necessarily know what, or who, I am. I’ve been searching for my identity for quite a bit of time now. I look, I search, and I probe my heart and “soul”; all I get are some bruises, a restless heart, and another head full of confused questions. I wouldn’t say I’ve had some terribly horrifying childhood, or some extreme trauma involving whips and bamboo sticks, but I can say I did not enjoy my childhood for a long time in my life. Things in my young life piled high up into the sky, and like anything stacked upon an unstable structure, my life fell to pieces. Everything tumbled over and it could never be stacked up like it was before, never again. Similarly, I was no longer who I was before. Though I no longer know what the final straw that broke me was, I know how I changed. I had lost my hobbies, my favorites, my passion; I had lost me. My voice dulled out, my interests faded, everything turned into bland beige. Beige doesn’t offend anyone right? My whole life purpose was to please. I would welcome you in my arms and let you walk all over me, since you would be happy, right? I truly believed that if I gave up all of me, you would all be happy. You could do what you wanted to do, what you should do to get to that pinnacle of greatness and I must be that person you step on and use to get there. I exist for you. Your happiness is my happiness. I will be selfless for you, because that is my life’s purpose. Or so I thought. Through the years I have met many people that have changed my life for the better. Every day is a new chance for me to learn more about myself and strangely enough, I learned most from my lover. I learned how to have a want, to have a favorite, a hobby, an interest, a life. I expected to learn more about my lover’s wants, favorites, hobbies, and such, but I was wrong. From my experiences, I have learned more about myself and the importance of things in my life. Love is important to me, more important than anything else in my life. It is this love that pushes me to find myself. My wish is to be comfortable with what I am and maybe someday I will come to understand what it is about me that my lover loves so much. I can’t ask anyone to show me who I am, I can’t pay someone to give me a personality or identity. This is a journey I expect to fulfill. This is what I want. I want to find me.
I bet reading Siddhartha will be a trip, given your situation. Being that you are a prime example of the Asian Arcadian child, I'm sure the story of a guy who leaves home in search of the unknown will have something interesting to teach your parents, and maybe even yourself?
I want to wish you, as well as everyone else, luck in their searches for identity and purpose. Most of us are probably running blind here, but here's to hoping that this class can help us take off the blindfolds before we trip and fall and die.
Thank you for actually taking the time to read my long, self revealing post! I didn't really expect anyone to read it. I'm looking forward to reading this book actually, I do hope to find something for myself... yet I'm not sure if I will. Either way, I know I will have an enjoyable time learning and analyzing this book.
Thanks again for reading my silly post. (:
I'm also not really sure what to expect from this book. I don't know how much I'll get about learning how to run away from home, but I shall save my cynicism for after we finish the book and try to dive into Siddhartha with an open mind.
Hey ! Tiffany, our parents always want to tell us more and more, but we won't totally understand their concepts until we've experienced!
Do the things you would like to do !
My grandpa sailed to New York from Sicily in 1961 and being 30 with no English skills and only a few dollars in his pocket, he miraculously started a new life. He found a job at a bakery where he also slept and soon after met my nana, who knew no Italian, but as fate had it they fell in love and here I am 48 years later. The important thing here is what happened in between, my dad. Being the son of an immigrant drastically affected how my dad grew up. I don’t think my grandpa fully understood what American teenagers did for fun and thus, my dad had many opportunities to be, mischievous. And this directly affected how my dad raised and still raises me. After hearing the stories of my dad from when he was my age I understand why he does what he does; he wants to protect me. Protect me from every danger that lurks in the corners of the “real world”, protect me from what he was exposed to. But as radical as it sounds, is protecting someone you love so much the best for them in the end? It’s the parents like Siddharthas and Mr. Feracos who realize that although it’s harder to sit back and watch your children make mistakes, helping them is only handicapping them. Having said that I think my parents will intervene as much as possible in preparation of departure day so for those of my fellow classmates leaving home in less than a year, tell your parents to take away your curfew and let you keep your room as messy as you want because after all, its good for you.
After only one chapter, Siddartha seems pretty bad ass. He encompasses courage, determination, focus, and intellect above all. I mean he changed his dads mind by literally doing nothing. But although he makes it apparent that he needed to leave, I honestly don’t believe that he wanted to; the sad fact is that he had no other choice. The reason he needed to leave is the same reason he was in that situation to begin with; he couldn’t afford not to learn. Siddarthas shoes come with a heavy burden but if put into the same situation I would make the same decision. It doesn’t make sense to grow up with the potential to be “a prince among Brahmins” and not sacrifice to achieve that. Sacrifice is giving up something good for something great.
I like your transition from your grandfather to your dad to you! and your writing is pretty entertaining haha That's a great ending quote too
Siddhartha is a young man. Being as mature as he is, Siddhartha knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for his heart's desires. Siddhartha wanting to join the Samanas is his declaration of manhood, of independence. We should admire him for his certainty and clear aim. Many people spend years pondering what they want and Siddhartha already knows. We shouldn't criticize someone just because they are certain of what they want in life. Passion and a desire to work hard are essential in such decisions and Siddhartha has both qualities.
If I was faced with such a situation, I know I wouldn't be able to make such a choice. I've lived a life where I never had to make big decisions on my own. I would always consult friends, teachers, and my own parents before I went on to do something – even something I've desired to do for years. I've been cursed to feel the necessity in hearing other people's opinions for things I want to do. If I had the confidence and strength, I definitely would try to make a choice like Siddhartha. His level of independence is to die for. I'm no where near his level of certainty, but I'm growing everyday and learning more and more about myself.
Hey I just wanted to stop by and say that I think that it is okay to ask others for their opinions. Getting different perspectives on a topic you can make you make your OWN decision more confidently. It is important at the end of the day; after you have taken everything that people have told you with a grain of salt, to ask yourself important questions. Such as, “With the knowledge that I have obtained from others, do I still want to make this choice?” And regardless what others say it is what YOU WANT. But with the perspective of others they can help you sculpt you opinion, so you can truly have a good outlook on your situation.
“…and the vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace, his heart was not still.”
The life I am currently living does not satisfy me just as Siddhartha’s life does not satisfy him. The irony of it all is that technically we have enough, living at home with family who love us, who support us and who teach us; we don’t need anything else. However, when given the liberty to do so we find ourselves leaving the nest. We are unsatisfied with our surroundings and we look for what we want elsewhere. Yet, we’re searching blindly. We, as adolescents, are not sure what we want and neither is Siddhartha. It’s a gamble, leaving home in search of what? We don’t know.
Perhaps that’s what makes Siddhartha’s decision admirable. He is willing to leave home in order to fulfill that void he has in his heart. He’s departing the nest, not even knowing what exactly he’s looking for. And while this might not seem like the best choice, what other option does he have left? To stay at home and live the rest of his life unsatisfied? I believe his father understands this as well. While he is upset about his son’s decision, he too realizes that it’s what has to be done. He must let him go.
Graduation is coming up. I could stay at home and go to a nearby community college, or I could leave, say goodbye to my family and go in search of whatever it is that I feel I must find. While I might change between now and June 11th, I truly believe that I will ultimately pick the latter. The life I currently live does not satisfy me, but I know that one day it will.
People like being satisfied with their lives but we always want more in life. Therefore, we become unsatisfied and try to reach another goal. I agree that many of us are blindly searching for something. Although many of us say we know what we want to become when we grow up, we are constantly changing and our thoughts now may not be the same 4 years from now.
Leaving my parents is probably the most terrifying thing I’ve ever had to think of. The thought makes me wonder how anyone is able to leave home at all. Although departure day for me is probably not going to be the same as for my peers, the feeling of leaving them doesn’t change because it will eventually happen. I’m supposed to leave the people who have always cared for me and watched me grow. I’ll be leaving security and stability behind to start my own life, and the thought is absolutely mind blowing, especially since I’ve never been one to “think for myself.” Whatever it may be, immaturity or something else, I need people to tell me what to do, because I don’t exactly feel ready to go out on my own just yet. I’m basically like an incomplete robot that still needs to be reprogrammed to be able to survive on my own.
For as long as I can remember, my plans in life were laid out before me like a mother laying out her child’s clothing for the day. I was supposed to do a certain thing at a certain age and have a certain career. Like every parent, they wanted me to become a successful person in life and not have to struggle through hardships. As I got older, I strongly expressed my disapproval of their plans for me, and although they have never exactly told me I can be whatever I wanted to be, I know my parents think that because they have loosened their grip on me. I believe they understand that they cannot hold my hand forever and walk me through my own life. They just need to raise, guide, and trust me to make the right decisions. When the time comes for me to let go, my parents would just have to watch me pedal on.
When I was about 10 years old, I had to leave my family and also the country I always being living in. I had to travel across the ocean and I ended up in Arcadia. In the beginning, I hated my parents because I thought that leaving my alone at this strange country is a cruel thing to do. As I get older and older I realize that was a benefit that a lot other people doesn't have. In a similar way, Siddhartha's father let him go, to let him battles the world himself. If I was a father, I think (never know what I could turn in to when I became a father) I would respect the choice my child made, because my parent always respected my choices, even sometimes the choice are wrong, they would let me learn the lesson after I fail. The decision would be different for a lot of parents, but Siddhartha's father's decision was made wisely. He neglect his on benefit, which is to having his son built he's way, to give SIddhartha a chance of battling the world himself, and also learn from it. Living a life you don't like is such a big pain, so Siddhartha's decision is not completely Whim.
Friendship is also a really important aspect of life. I really feels touched by what Govinda did, because in the beginning I thought he was only friend with Siddhartha because he wants to contain the power and support that Siddhartha has. Although the decision is inspiring, it might be a smart choice to make, because randomly following Siddhartha could be really harmful to his life. However, I think the decision could be made with more consideration, because he doesn't know what he is facing after the decision is made. But I think I would have made the same decision as Govinda did, because I am a really emotional person, I'll be easily touched and I ALWAYS make unhealthly decisions, which could worked out better if I think at first.
I greatly admire the strength and courage that you had and have to have coming to an unfamiliar place all alone at such a young age. I don’t think I could be able to do that, and I probably would be angry too. I am glad though that you are coming to realize all the opportunities you have offered to you and I hope you can do something great in life. Friendship is a very important aspect in life and I can only imagine that is what has helped you through your life, but I pray that you can start to make healthier decisions that will start to benefit you as well. May God be with you and your journey in life!
First reading about Siddhartha’s departure from his dad, then about Mr. Feraco’s from his mother and father, I began to think about how my departure will be, so that I can relate myself to Siddhartha and Mr. Feraco. Fortunately, my mother and I visited the college that she went to on Wednesday, and I thought to myself the whole time, is my situation similar in anyway? It definitely is not. I will be staying at home and commuting to college, so I will not be having that venture far away from home, or where I leave and never turn back like Siddhartha does. Also, visiting that college campus with me, my mom talked about every single little detail with me and gave me strength and more reassurance in the decision of what I am going to be by telling me that she believes in me and will support me in anyway, shape, or form. If I do make mistakes here and there, I know that she will continue to be there and that everything will be okay.
As I become a mother one day, I would hope that I could give as much assistance and guidance to my children as my mom has given me. I don’t think I could bare my child leaving me and never turning back as Siddhartha does, but I would NEVER hold back my kids from achieving what they wanted. So, I would take a motherly approach as my mother does by giving advice when needed and guiding if needed as well. However, I will not make decisions for them or let my opinion pressure them into something that is not their dream. My children will have to make decisions on their own and if some are mistakes along the way, I hope and pray to God that they learn from them and become better people. So in a sense I will be like Mr. Feraco’s father, just as my mom is to me.
Ooops, I forgot we needed two responses
I am glad to see that close family connections remain even after the child enters adulthood and physically departs from home. You descriptions about you and your mother visiting colleges together and making decisions together definitely relates to my point that filial relationships in humans develop from instinct to deep emotional connections through years of filial interactions.
There is the theme of letting go in the “War” which is shown through the departure of the sons. The bonds formed between father and sons have been part of several societies. This is shown through the fathers’ sorrow for their sons leaving; however, this illustrates that they are unable to be in charge of their family forever. I agree with the sentiment because my own father cares for me; however, he does not tell me what path I should choose. I am the only one in charge and my success in the future is determined by my own effort.
I believe that my parents would confidently allow me to leave just as Siddhartha’s parents had because they believe that I have matured in to a responsible man. I have parents that cares for me deeply and have accepted the fact that I have grown up. They have spent 17 years of their lives preparing me for a world in which I have to fend for myself.
I am sure that I would make the same decision as my parents because they responsibility in that my father quit smoking for me when I was born. This fact amazes me because he was a smoker for 30 years and was able to suddenly break this habit for me and when he realized that he has gained the responsibility of raising me into a successful adult. I believe that Siddhartha’s father’s decision is wise and I would have trust in my children in the future.
Govinda’s loyalty is praiseworthy; however, I believe that it was not a wise choice because he is now forced to start over. I personally would not give up everything I had in a search for something that I am not even sure exists.
In my life all I am looking for is a good and successful career. This is because when I become rich all the ladies will be looking for me.
Though it's pretty much true that the ladies will come flocking if you have a fancy job, that career might still not be what you're looking for. Even if you had all that money, especially if you happened to hate what you do for a living, there's a good chance your life will lack a sense of happiness or contentment. You might say that you would just fill that gap with material possessions or more money, but there's this quote from a certain man named Andrew Carnegie: "Millionaires who laugh are rare."
I hope I'm not coming off as preachy, but there's much more to life than spending your time building up temporary, earthly treasure.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to move on to the next step in life. When I was in elementary, I wanted to finish fast so I could be in middle school and same for high school and college. Since I’m nearing the end of my high school career, I’m still longing for that one special day in June when we graduate and are on our own. Part of this scares me because I enjoy my life, most of my childhood, the memories I’ve made, the ones I’m still making, and I don’t want to leave this. I’ve been on a lot of college tours over the past few summers and I’ve narrowed it down to which one is my top choice. Like Mr. Feraco’s father and Siddhartha’s father, my mom stood by me on those tours and said nothing. She didn’t give me an opinion on the schools or what she thought I should major in. The only time she spoke up was about getting scholarships and finding ways to lower tuition. I know through those visits, that she was hurting because her first born wants to go out of state. The school I chose is a six hour plane ride away from her and even though she doesn’t show it, she doesn’t want me to go that far. But unlike some other mothers, my mom has my little sister, and I know in four years when it’s her turn, my mom will really be hurting because both of her babies have left the nest.
Like Siddhartha, I want the next step in life, whether it’s getting a test over with, finishing the week before a fun weekend, or starting my adult life. I long for something in life but I don’t quite know what it is. Siddhartha wants to leave and be his own person because he has been trapped under his father for so long, that’s how I feel but not just because I’ve been trapped under my parents but also because I’ve been trapped in the city I live in. He longs for something new and something that he can call his own and so he leaves to be a Samana, not knowing what to expect. I feel like I am Siddhartha because if I get accepted to my top school, I’m going to a new place not knowing to expect. But I will do what he does and leave home with no regrets because it’s MY life now.
As a growing young adult, I can start to see situations in different perspectives, even as parents. My parents have always been very supportive of what I do, always believed in me, and know what is best for me. Though I may be at a discontent of some of the decisions they make, I know that if I can fully think things through, in the end it is always for the better. If I ever get to become a parent, god forbid, I would always hope that I could achieve the attitude and passion that my parents had for me that I could provide and pass down to my own child/children. My parents were always open minded for what I would propose to them, so I would greatfully be open minded for my own children and give them all the opportunity that I can give them. In the end, it is not what we want for our children but what they want for themselves. As one of the fathers in, “War,” stated, “Our children do not belong to us, they belong to the country…,” and it is up to parents to guide them and let them be free.
As a 17 year old student who’s only in his senior year of high school, I am as confused about my life as the next kid trembling about graduation day. With so many opportunities, so many responsibilities, and so much pressure to contain it is only natural for me to be confused and scared all at the same time. With even just a few days in my English class, it makes it even harder for me to decide what I want to do with myself, but, I know for one thing that I would want to be as bold as Siddhartha. Siddhartha is a very couragous person for being able to come out of his comfort zone and lean towards new expectations and a new journey. I feel that if I can do the same as him ,exploring new opportunities and take advantage of them, then I feel that I have a purpose in my life. That I could be at peace knowing that I would have no regrets for the huge steps I would be taking and risking.
After so much time spent at home, it seems natural that I begin to wonder, “what’s beyond this world at home?” I don’t think that my parents have taught me everything they know. I don’t think that Siddhartha, however wise he may be, will ever be satisfied with how much more he can learn from the world around him. However, I couldn’t use my parents as a stepping-stone like Siddhartha did. To me, Siddhartha’s need to find answers is a desperate cry for help from something unknown to him. His desperation impedes his thinking and will make his path towards answers more difficult.
My parents are in my life as a guiding force and help me understand my mistakes and my successes, through their experiences. I may need help and answers from something unknown to me, but at least I am not alone in my quest for knowledge and answers. I believe that the right people to guide me will give me advice when I need it and don’t want it, but refrain from doing so when I want advice but don’t need it. My parents are these “right people” and I trust that with them can I grow as a person and genuinely understand what I want beyond my world at home.
Although I disagree with Siddhartha’s decision, I can relate to his father’s decision to turn him loose. Vague answers will no longer satiate Siddhartha’s appetite for truth. Though his “task” is daunting and he is risking disappointment after disappointment, his father realizes that Siddhartha’s journey is something he needs to accomplish on his own. I have realized that both Siddhartha’s father and my own father have the same methods of achieving their own goals. My father is a quiet man who hardly talks to anyone at all. He has very little to do with my life in comparison to my mom. However, I have learned more from my father’s silence than my mother’s lectures.
Sometimes, the greatest advice or guidance that a parent can give their child is “non-advice”, or not directing their child to do anything at all. Through my father’s silence, I have learned how to become an outspoken leader, and how to gain respect among my peers. His “non-advice” has helped me become a better leader for my cross-country team, and has helped me become more motivated in whatever I do. Although Siddhartha’s dad does tell him afterwards to go into the forest and search for answers, I believe that it is a form of non-advice that he has actually given Siddhartha. Now that Siddhartha is nearing the final stages of training, his dad has to let go of many things. My father must share the same fate. He has to let me control my own life. He belongs to me, but I have never belonged to him.
I would say I agree to you. My parents didn’t know how to raise a child cause they had never been in my life, and now I ve been living with my mother for 3 years. Because of the missing part of a mother-son sharing childhood, my mother has always treating me like an adult or a half-adult since we began to live together when I was 14. Now that I am 17, all these years I had made my own decisions for the most time. I would choose my class, my outside activities, my friends, and my time schedule. For my school, she only signed the papers. The “non-advice” had been used well on me. She would watch me figure things out on my own, fall, get hurt, sometimes bloody. Then witness me get up and move on.
Speaking of the family, my parents left me with grandparents after I was born, and the time we actually met and started to have a life was just 3 years ago. “My family would always be there for me…” It might be the most common line a high school student would say especially in AHS, school filled by awesome kids with awesome families behind them. It’s not fair to say parents would make wise decisions for us or not, but in my family, they would avoid this part by pushing me to face the world myself. Joining the military after high school is probably not an option in most parents’ handbook of “My kids”, but it exists in my mom’s. The most important word in the phrase “my kid’s future” is “kid’s”, my mom knows that, even better than myself as a kid. Once in a while, mom and I would have several meaningful conversations about me entering my adulthood. As we had been going through the plans after high school, joining the military seem to be the lottery with the highest possibility that it might be a bonus. Clearly, the best part of this is not the wise decision mom has made for me; it is she would support me to make my own decision and she knows that I will make her proud.
Psychologically, most of the kids would say the decision that Siddhartha’s father made was wise. I am a kid, I would say that too. It is a law captured by nature that an end exists after a start, no matter how long the duration is; it would always come. The minute Siddhartha was born; the Departure Day had been planted. After all those years they spent together as father and son, Siddhartha’s father was just making a normal decision like he probably made thousands of times before; like saying good-bye to Siddhartha to learn, to play, or to worship. The only difference might be this time he might not be back for a long time.
As I said above, I am joining the military after the high school and I had already begun processing entrance into the military. Looking at Siddhartha，then myself, it is not difficult to find some similarity. Both our decisions are not what normal kids would do. When people ask bunch of seniors about the colleges they are going to, it takes much courage to say I am not going to college. People might know what I am thinking or doing, but I do, at least I know some of it. So if I would be put in Siddhartha’s shoes, I would make that decision.
As the departure day draws nearer, l will adhere to leave my family and explore a new world, my own world. My father tells everything that l should do or not, because he would like to see her daughter is an outstanding girl, and he do not want to see any hard circumstances happen on me. Actually, l always live in one world, the world that he's telling me every minute. l should not fall in love during high school because that's the thing l should do in the college; l should study when l open my eyes until l close my eyes every single day because l can get into a good college; l should not chat with my friends because we are wasting our study time, and so on. These thing are the "rules" for me. Am l a wonderful girl if l did all of these things?
My answer is maybe, but one thing for sure is: l am not a happy girl if l did of them. How do my parents positively
say that all of the principle they told is definitely true? lt is because they had the experience, they suffered. As the same way, l will just throw the rules in my parent's world, and searching for my own world.
Honestly, l might treat my kids like Siddhartha's father did and my parents did. Due to my little brother, l totally can see how will l treat my kids in the future, which is also surprised myself. Once my little brother was watching TV after he went back home, l asked him: "Why not do your homework first?" He said that he did not have any homework to do. Then l continue asked:"Shouldn't you practice the piano instead of the TV shows?" He told me that was Friday. I was angry that he argued with me, and l commanded him to practice the piano because the competition was coming soon. I am a person who want to search for my own world, but how come l might let my kid to follow my "rules" like "cannot play before you study"? I think that's because of the enlightenment. My parents repeated the "rules" everyday that l subconsciously do the things they told me to do, and even do the same thing to me kids.
I'm not guarantee because l haven't searched the world l want! And it might be totally changed my mind.
Siddhartha’s parents pride themselves in creating the perfect son, one where everybody in the village would envy. However, Siddhartha is not satisfied with the mold that his parents created for him. He can only live up to being his parents ideal son for so long. Eventually, he breaks this mold and becomes his own man. We all eventually reach this point in our lives. For Siddhartha, it is when he seeks out to become a Samana against his father’s wishes. For me, it was when I reached high school. I was not the ideal student that my parents always wanted me to be. However, I made my mistakes early on and slowly became somebody that they, as well as I, could be proud of. Without my parents allowing me to make those mistakes I would have never learned the value of hard work, determination, and ambition. Just as many of our parents want us to become doctors or lawyers, something everyone will envy, we all have our own wishes and aspirations. I’m sure many, if not all of us, are willing to go against our parents wishes to live the life we create for ourselves. For example, Siddhartha does not want to be known as the Brahmin’s son anymore. He wants to be known as Siddhartha.
Siddhartha has already reached his Departure Day, but we have ours awaiting us on June 11. Knowing my parents, they will allow me to choose my own college and will send me off with good wishes. They know me well enough to trust me to make the right decisions for myself. They will not question my decision or demand that I go to the college and study the profession of their choosing. They allow me entire freedom to grow as my own person. Siddhartha’s father on the other hand has taken years and years to mold this ‘perfect’ son, and now his whole world is turned upside down when Siddhartha wants to become something different. Siddhartha’s father is hesitant to let go of something he has held onto so dearly, but on the other hand he understands Siddhartha’s urge to find his place in the world. His father did what all parents should do: teach their son or daughter as much as they can, but when the time comes let them go to become their own person and fulfill their own dreams.
Govinda craves to be like Siddhartha. He knows Siddhartha is destined to go out and become something profound, and he wants to follow in his footsteps. Govinda does not want to be ordinary, so he follows Siddhartha in hopes that it will bring him to become someone extraordinary. Govinda takes the easy route. He follows behind somebody like Siddhartha. Somebody to be jealous of; somebody to be proud of. Even though Govinda seems like he is doing something courageous, he is actually doing the opposite. He is filling a mold that Siddhartha is already creating.
For my Departure Day, My parents would support me wherever I go. They have given me the responsibilities to make my own decisions and to plan if there are any consequences. I agree with what you said about Siddhartha's father. My father is the same! He still thinks I am still a little boy but he knows he has to trust me to make the right decisions.
When it comes to parenthood, independence is an essential aspect to instill in the minds of children. Independence is often looked down upon as a parents scapegoat to avoid responsibility. To allow their children to do whatever they wish, without guidance. However, independence is a gradual thing. Independence does not automatically assume itself in the presence of children. It is learned, often with the coming of age and with it, responsibility. In Siddhartha, although it pained him to do so, his father realized that it was time for Siddhartha to go at it alone, to experience true independence. His father knew that by letting his son experience the world by himself, he would find pieces of not only his father, but pieces of himself that he would be able to mold together to ultimately become a stronger and more able individual.
In current generations, and all generations before it, parents have always had the intention of having their children succeed. To get what they couldn't. To experience a better life. Some parents opted in completely taking their children under their wing, and forcing them to be how they want them to be, and consequently, forcing them to carry a huge burden on their back. Others however, allowed their children to experience the world by themselves, to learn responsibility and strength. The latter often forms stronger individuals, because although motivation is always an important thing in ones life, motivation is nothing without independence. When it is time for children to leave the protective barrier that is their parents, what will they do? How will they react in different situations? With experience comes knowledge and that is why independence must be practiced at an early age, and eventually put into practice in the future.
All parents want whats best for their children. Imposing their views, opinions, and standards on them however, is not always the smartest thing to do, because when children eventually grow into adults, they have to realize that it is their lives, not their parents, that they have to live.
Although Govinda's blind following of Siddhartha is an awe inspiring show of faithfulness, it neither healthy or wise in his part. The devotion Govinda showers on Siddhartha harms both men in the long run. While it may seem that Siddhartha obtains great self confidence from this constant companionship, it actually contributes to him “nurtur[ing] dissatisfaction within himself”. Siddhartha is fueled by the steady stream of unconscious approval that he is given by his company, especially Govinda. It causes a feeling of nonfulfillment, of lacking a key part that can not be described. Yet, when Siddhartha finally departs in a trip of self-fulfillment, he is glad to have Govinda with him. Both men have become dependent on the other. With this, the path to inner happiness is blocked by the unconscious want to please the other companion. Instead of peering deep into himself and finding an inner conviction and voice, both men are faced with the prospect of the others’ opinion. With every their every move, the men will (even unbeknownst to themselves) mentally think of what the other would say. This is not healthy at all. It is essentially tainting the very thought process of the men.
Yet, I can fully see myself making a similar decision. I too have a friend that I would follow anywhere. Even though I may not show it as freely as Govinda, I truly respect and admire this person. If he invited me to venture out into the world in search of enlightenment, I would surly follow. There is no doubt in my mind that, despite my common sense, I would blindly wander with him. It is not merely his way of sneakily poking fun at everything or his slightly perverted way of viewing the world (which can mostly be blamed on theater). There is a comfort level that I feel when getting into his car or setting foot in his driveway, that I just don’t get anywhere else. Although I may resent saying so, I am dependent on him.
Likewise, this is Govinda’s predicament. He knows deep down that by following Siddhartha on his seemingly foolhardy quest for enlightenment, Govinda will leave the precious home that he has worked so hard to achieve. Yet, Govinda knows that without Siddhartha with him, this perfect habit will be incomplete. It is plain in Govinda’s head that he is not making the most logical decision, but he knows that is the only decision that he can allow himself to make. Despite the risks, Govinda and I both grudgingly choose to stay by the side of our friends. In our book, adventures without them are just not worth having.
Very well put! I also like your transition between your paragraphs!
Siddhartha’s father molded Siddhartha into someone everyone loved. Everyone in town admired him and some were even jealous of him. Siddhartha’s parents had high expectations for him while he was growing up. Even though Siddhartha accomplished all of the goals that were set out for him, he was not satisfied with all of his accomplishments. My father had great expectations for me. He wanted me to go to a prestigious University and to become a doctor. Unfortunately, I probably will not be able to meet his goals. But even if I had, I know i would not be happy. When I was a little boy, I never dreamt about being a doctor. Seeing open wounds frighten me. When I grow up and have children of my own, I will not force them into deciding what I want them to be. I would let them decide on their own what they want to be when they grow up.
I believe Govinda made the right choice in leaving the village and joining Siddhartha. It was a wise decision because he would become someone he would not want to be if he stayed in the village. In the book, it says “No, and he, Govinda, did not want to become any of these, not a Brahmin like ten thousand others of their kind.” That shows that Govinda would not be satisfied if he stayed in the village and became a Brahmin, sheep herder, or priest. Not only would he be preventing himself from becoming someone he does not want to be, he will also be going on a journey with the one person he admires most. I could see myself making a similar choice. If I was in Govinda’s position, I would not want to be working at a job that I do not love.
I want to have eight kids. Why? Well, eight is an even number and that will prevent my loins from producing a child named Wednesday. I've never been an individual to pursue things with brute force. I'm a golfer; finesse is my specialty and something I'm quite good at.
After reading Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, I'm inclined to believe that very little of what a parent does to his or her child affects the child's outcome. That said I'm not the type of person that lets go of people close to me very well. Sid never talks to his father again? Sid walks out on his F-A-T-H-E-R? I don't know if that's something I could live with. It takes a huge amount of perspective and a severe lack of narrow mindedness to let go of something so close to home. Only time will tell.
If you’ve only read the first chapter in the book, and your friend begins calling you Govinda what’s the first thing to pop in your head? It’s certainly not, “OH MY GOODNESS! My friend finally sees me as his/her peer.” But it could be, “SUCCESS! I can lick my friend’s feet now.” Take a look at this excerpt from the book.
“Govinda, his friend, the Brahmin’s son, loved him more than anybody else. He loved Siddhartha’s eyes and clear voice. He loved the way he walked, his complete grace of movement; he loved everything that Siddhartha did and said, and above all he loved his intellect, his fine ardent thoughts …”
If we play a little Mad Libs with this and replace Siddhartha with “Justin Bieber” and Govinda with “The crazy fan girl” we can clearly see Govinda in the light he’s trying to be portrayed in.
Govinda blindly follows Sid. Like most endeavors of this nature this could either be brilliant or a brilliant symbol of stupidity. At this point, the reader is inclined to believe the latter; however I can easily see how such a judgment could be flipped on its head. Govinda, in my mind therefore is not Sid’s friend; he is an above average admirer.
Edward, i love the (no offense) abnormal way you look at this, its very original. Touche my good friend
I was a bit scared of what would happen. But I guess it turned out alright.
This is absolutely hilarious. I love how you use humor to convey your opinion. It makes your examples fun to read and gets the point across much clearer. I also enjoy how you referred to Siddhartha as Sid. But I kinda feel bad for your future wife(8 is quite a lot).
Who but myself would there be to blame when my children took a career they did not choose and ended up unhappy? I could see myself making the same type of decision as Siddhartha’s father. I would not want to impose careers on them but let them explore what they want to do, and let them blaze their own trail. I would be worried about them, but only they can know what makes them happy. By that time I would hope to have raised them well, told them my story, and let them write theirs.
The decision Siddhartha takes to leave home because he felt “[his] vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied” is admirable because it shows the initiative steps he takes towards searching for something more. I’ve never given much thought to life after high school until recently. I feel as though I am a sheep in a large herd, following predetermined paths, never questioning why I took that art class or volunteered at that community center. Like Siddhartha, I have no idea what I am looking for, but my parents have nudged, poked, and hinted towards careers that pay off (financially). My parents negotiate my life, but it’s like that because they want me to have things they couldn’t have, like certainty that I would be able to take care of myself. Though frustrating, it’s my fault when I’m not taking initiative and experimenting to see what I could like. This is what Siddhartha does that I don’t – he breaks out of his comfort zone, and leaves a life that he could have easily lead, because his desire to understand what he wants is that much more. Had I been in his shoes, I don’t see myself making the same decisions because I would not break out of that comfort zone. As June creeps closer, I no longer want to follow the herd.
In my dad's eyes, affection is based on to get good grades, and get accepted into high-performance college such as University of Southern California. Through my past knowledge and experience, I have realized that my dad will be the one to make decisions in my life, the one that will direct me to where he thinks I should go, and the one to push me every step of the way. Telling me stories of his successful childhood, he tries to mold me into someone I am not, and someone I can never be. Even though I try to live up to his expectations, I can never reach the goal that he has set for me, because nothing I do is ever good enough for him. He continues to expect great things from me, even though he knows that I won't accomplish what he expects from me, by sending me to after school tutoring programs that costs hundreds, or even thousands of dollars. He do this in the hopes that the god Buddha will look upon me with favor one day, and the grant me unlimited knowledge and wisdom I need to get into a good college. Personally, I feel that every class I took before, every class I'm taking right now, and every new class I'm going to take in the future is going to make me successful in the future, so in the end I'm still very grateful to my dad.
Just like the decisions you father and Siddhartha's father made, I feel I want my dad to accept and trust me, as unlikely as it may seem. My dad, who defines success as in going to as top college and getting a good career in medicine or law or engineer, will most likely not understand that I want to make my own choices in life, make my own mistakes, and learn from them as well. Because the process of achieving that kind of success is long and tiresome, I feel that working towards my own standard of success is much more worthwhile than working for my father's. Even though I know he want the best for me, I know that his best and my best are not the same. To gain the independence I dream of, I must make my own decisions. By gaining freedom of choice from my dad, I gain a means to my freedom and eventually success. These are the greatest gifts that he can give me, and more than I could ever hope for.
the first paragraph ends at " in the end I'm still very grateful to my dad."
Blessed as I am for having generous parents that are there for me no matter what the circumstances are--being that I am an only child--there are several things I know will be more difficult for my parents to face. Apprehensive of the uncertain hardship of reality for me, they’d certainly be worried if I’m safe and capable of juggling all the things life presses on an individual. All my life, they’ve been always right by my side to help me whenever I was stuck, and I can see how they may have trouble reassuring themselves that I can be perfectly on my own. But underneath it all, I’ve been able to try to grab as many opportunities as I could have during these past few years, and I’ve learned to slowly shape my own mindset toward a specific pathway that will lead to the rest of my life. My greatest hope is that my parents would fully understand who I’ve become, so they would understand that I’ll be fine and be ready to move forward, just like Siddhartha’s father soon came to realize. So when I become a parent one day, I would like to have my kids try as many activities as they’re interested in, making them well rounded, so they’d be able to eagerly take on almost anything as they grow up and freestyle their own destiny to their fullest potential. So long as they’re eager and willing, I’d be a little more assured that they would make wise decisions that bring them satisfaction; if not, hopefully they would be able to recuperate quickly after what they’ve been taught. Reflecting on what I’ve observed all these years, it seems the most ideal way to help an individual bring out their best as they grow to become adults.
All in all, it seems we are seeking some way to make an impact on something, somebody, or many a thing. Even if it’s not as great as truly making a life changing difference in another’s experience, simple things I find suffice in making a lasting impression: living comfortably and stably for one’s future family, giving your heart and all to support someone you care about, being just another outstanding member of society who gives hope for a better life. As the woman in War, after trying to absorb the intensity with which she felt overwhelmed, spontaneously asked the man if his son was then “really dead,” she seemed as though the man’s son didn’t seem very dead after all. Her question reminded me of a quote by the artist Banksy: “They say you die twice, one time when you stop breathing, and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” She subtly suggests that the man’s son truly isn’t as “gone” as the man felt, because the courage and love his son left behind would still remain in his heart, and others, for a long time. I agree completely with Banksy’s statement and the woman’s possible intention in that, as long as those who still exist in minds or in the air of conversation, in a secondary life--even if only in one other person--those ones are still living life to their fullest.
This weekend I went out and engaged myself in many group opportunities, which was a very rewarding experience. Every weekend I usually just stay home and sit down in front of my computer all weekend long, but this weekend I went out to the orchestra car wash. It was very rewarding in the sense that it was real life interactions and not over the internet. I’m so used to internet interaction that it was bliss to finally be able to meet my friends in person and do something we all love to do, which is to have fun. After the car wash my friends and I decided to go play some football. It was truly bliss because I love to hang out with my friends and I love sports, so having both of them combined truly made me happy. It was truly bliss to hang out with my friends and to do the things we all love to do. I felt bliss because it was such a different experience from what my usual weekend is like. It was such a rewarding experience that I might start to do this every weekend.
Parents cherish their relationship with children so much that they never wanted them to get apart with them. My parents have always made decisions for me, they are afraid I would get hurt outside of their protection. Even though I had been really childish and thought I was correct in every way, but at the age of 16 I finally realized what parental love is, and I learned so much academically, socially, and emotionally. It is less than a year to graduate, at the time I will step out of their protection and be separated from my parents, they are already nervous right now; they had been teaching me how to live by myself and be independent. My parents are very open- minded, they never interfere with my journey of art. After thirty years, I will be like my parents, always stand by my children, grab their hands and lead their ways toward their dreams. Make the best decisions; at the same time teach them how to be independent. I think I would make the same decision as Siddhartha's father, letting my children find their interests and go for it.
A child should have the freedom to choose what is best for him/her self. Children cannot be forced into doing what their parents believe to be right for them all the time. They need experience for themselves, from good and bad choices. When my dad always tried to teach me what was right and what was wrong without considering, not only did that distant me from talking to him about what was going on in the life that was outside of him, it actually made me think that my dad was a total unreasonable human being. Siddhartha’s dad made a wise decision, in order for children to reach their happiness, it is important they experience on their own. Although they might run into trouble and problems, the experience and the learning is way more important than the problems along the way. Many parents had gone through problems in adulthood, but every time they made an mistake or something goes wrong is when they truly learn their lesson. I hope when I grow up, I will not forget how I used to feel about my own parents teaching; I hope I can let me children learn their own ways happily.
Same as Arian's, a child does not have the knowledge to know what is best for them. You have to set some boundries otherwise there can be no path for them to follow. It would be like Siddhartha searching for wisdom without knowing what that word means.
+ Is Siddhartha’s father’s decision wise?
Theoretically, an ideal father would raise a child who is free; that is to say a child who thinks freely, makes decisions freely, and takes action freely. This child has a bright and satisfying future. By accepting the privies theory, we can say that Siddhartha's father's decision is wise, and he is an ideal father; however, if I were to be Siddhartha's father, I would have hugged Siddhartha for a very long time before letting him go!
+ Should we admire Siddhartha for his choices? Should we criticize him? If faced with similar circumstances, could you make the same choice? Would you?
I find the content of his choices to be somewhat neutral while the nature of his choices admirable; I believe it was not important for him to start as an ascetic or a businessman or a lover, but it was crucial for him to actually make the choice for a better change. If I were Siddhartha, I would have most definitely chosen the choices with the same nature. I would let people criticize me, but I tell them one thing: "it is my life; thus, it is my choice."
There has to be some boundries, you cannot give a child total freedom. You let a child do literally whatever he wants he will mess up his life.
+++ You haven’t left home yet, but Departure Day draws nearer with every passing moment. Will your parents make a decision similar to the one my father – or Siddhartha’s – made?
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+++ Do you know what you’re looking for?*
I have spoken with my parents several times about what I am interested in and have repeatedly asked if they would be fine with my doing that with my life. Not once, have my parents ever been negative or scorned for wishing against theirs’ over what I am to do with my life. When I was young, I wanted to be a Veterinarian, (since I love animals) than I decided to be a doctor, more specifically a Micro-Biologist (due to the vast amount of people I have in my life or have come across my fate’s path, that indeed have been thrown off their very own course due to cancer). More recently have I decided to join the armed forces, more so the [U]nited [S]tates [N]avy; more so specifically a ‘Corpsman’ and only to even more refined in my reference a Corpsman that is within the FMF (Fleet Marine Force), which is the USMC’s specialist divisions or squads broken down.
Basically I would be sent in side by side with the Leathernecks feet first into hell and last ones out of the possible death of lead exchange. Now you may ask why I would choose to take that route over the first option, which is to be a legit doctor on base, well quite frankly who else is going to take care of the ones who defend this country first hand?
On the contrary, I have come to another realization or epiphany or calling with what I would do with my life; help my fellow peers or better yet reach out to adolescents, ranging from troubled teens from bullying to gang members with drug addictions and everything in between.
Another possible career I wouldn’t mind holding, would most def. have to be being a high end bar tender that is an artist during the day and was the one responsible for an amazing night for celebrities (after) parties. Ironic part in this is that my family has been lividly torn to shreds, recycled in a sense and been reproduced in a semi-generic set of loved ones.
+++ Is Siddhartha’s father’s decision wise?
I believe that his decision indeed is rather wise considering how he could not exactly control him; in the sense that he knows just as well as Siddhartha, that he may not be the one who doesn’t permit him from continuing his journey/path in life.
Do you think you could make the same type of decision as the fathers I've discussed when your own children are grown?
Will you treat them the way my father treated me, or will you take a different tack?
I would very much use the ideas and relationship your father shared with you. It
would be much harder for me to decide and say how I will be as a father. Growing up with my own father not very much ever around,
see'ing him every so often for about a week threw the course of my 18 years. I feel like this some how would make me want my children
closer to me later on. As I never shared that expierence with mine. Well I would have to give my child my thoughts, and worrys over some of there day to day expierences. None the less,
I would still give them most of my support over everything. Even if it sounds a bit odd, If it makes them happy and they recieve the
learning they need then my support is with them.
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