Tuesday, September 6. 2011
PLEASE NOTE: Office hours are now available. Just add your name in the ten-minute slot of your choice, and make sure you send me an e-mail explaining what you'd like to discuss 24 hours in advance! (If you need to send me a file, please attach it to that e-mail.)
Please remember to nominate two posts by Thursday night!
Those who would like to look over the blog guidelines can try the PDF or Word document.
At first glance, Enkidu and Gilgamesh don’t seem to have much of a basis for a friendship: a king attacks a wild man out of jealousy and engages him in an extended wrestling session that ends inconclusively.
But friendships don’t always have epic beginnings.
I met a kid in seventh grade when he sat next to me in our science class. My last name is obviously a weird one, and he seemed interest in my family situation (my parents had divorced two years earlier; his parents remain happily married). Two weeks later, we hung out in the park by campus after classes ended, talking about school, family histories, and the girls who were the subjects of our intense adolescent crushes (and whom neither of us would date very successfully, as it turned out).
At the end of the day, we walked to the local 7-Eleven to spend a couple bucks on junk food. He carried two Sprite caps, each one a “winner” – worth another free Sprite. Unsolicited, he handed one to me.
It was a small, unnecessary gesture of kindness, but it was enough to cement my impression of him: a little weird, but a fundamentally decent guy.
That was thirteen years ago – half a lifetime, literally. We ran with the same crowds, fell for the same girls, drove the same cars (my rickety Oldsmobile? I bought it from him), rooted for the same baseball teams, and helped each other with the same problems. We were always different from each other - very much so - but we bonded over shared history and shared experience.
We graduated in 2003, and went our separate ways (I to SoCal, he to NorCal). Once apart, we changed tremendously; we no longer shared the day-to-day experiences that once defined our friendship.
But the years have been good to us, all in all. I became a teacher; he’s a police officer who finished law school and recently took the Bar (cross your fingers). My cross-country team won a national championship; he’s flown on Air Force One. (When the FBI needed to do a background check on him, guess who they interviewed?)
Now that we’re adults, we rarely see each other; my work prevents me from going home very frequently, and his prevents him from visiting. But we’re still friends. As it so happens, we have the kind of bond that takes no time to fall back into, the kind that can sustain itself even if you only see each other a half-dozen times a year.
He’ll be the best man at my wedding someday.
Gilgamesh doesn’t stand out in the first tablet because he’s callous (he is) or a bad king (it’s hard to tell). No, Gilgamesh’s most notable quality is his isolation. He can stand alone in a sea of faces; nobody is like him. Part of this is because he’s almost incomprehensibly powerful; his subjects essentially view him as a walking god, and not the kind you can get close to. Part of this is due to his psychological makeup; everything from the towering walls of his city to his behavior towards new brides seems geared towards keeping himself from engaging with the outside world.
But it’s worth remembering that Gilgamesh is lonely because he is alone. No one is as strong, no one is as brave, and – ultimately – no one understands his loneliness enough to share his pain.
There’s that moment when Gilgamesh meets Enkidu’s eyes and realizes he’s finally met his match – someone who’s neither superior nor inferior, someone who knows what it’s like to have real bravery and strength coursing through his veins, and someone who knows what it’s like to long for something greater (in Enkidu’s case, the company of the animals who cast him out of the equivalent of Eden).
It is the discovery of an oasis in a desert, a safe port in a storm – a discovery made when hope had been lost of ever making it.
I’ve seen many friends come and go, and I am lucky to have kept the ones I have. But I know how Gilgamesh felt – how it feels to be on an island without knowing how to swim. Somehow, some way, the mere presence of other people helps us feel more comfortable in our own skin…even (or especially) if those other people are markedly different from us. But I’m not sure why this is so.
When I’ve talked with past classes about friendship and family, it's been hard to define why we seek these associations.
Therefore, this week’s post is about friendship – why we seek it, what it means to have relationships, and what it takes to maintain them.
+ What qualities seem to make a person important to you?
+ Why do we seek out friendship? Why spend the time and energy it takes to maintain a friendship? Why does the presence of another person – someone you trust – make you feel better?
+ What are the foundations of the friendships you’ve formed? Can you remember how your best friends became your best friends? (Were your experiences worthy of story and song, or were they more mundane?) Are they more than simple ways to "steal happy hours" - to spend some time outside of your student-self?
+ Did your friends seek you out for the same reasons you sought them, or do they look for different things in you than you look for in them?
+ Think of the friends you no longer see. Have you lost any friends you wish you could recover? How did they (or you) drift away? What threatens the friendships you currently hold?
+ How hard do you think you’ll seek to maintain the friendships you’ve made once you graduate? Do you hope for a fresh start? What kinds of people do you hope you’ll meet – will they be like you? – and how will you try to make friends wherever you’re headed next?
This post is due at 11:59pm on Thursday, September 8th.
Please try to post insightful, specific, and polished pieces. Your post should be at least two seven-sentence paragraphs long, and punctuation, grammar, and mechanics all count towards your grade. Compose your replies carefully, and always remember to build your credibility - use proof, not hypothetical statements. Write the why for every what!
As always, you are not required to respond to every question.
For this post, written feedback for two of your peers is required! Congratulate them, praise them, ask them questions...reach out! There’s no comment limit for this thread, so if you feel like talking to your peers, follow your instincts! (You can even do this for anonymous posters; they’ll be reading the thread to see how you respond.) Check your work to see if someone left feedback for you, and start conversations with your readers – and classmates!
One more thing: as you develop as writers, your pieces should look more and more constructed. By that, I mean they should demonstrate not simply knowledge of writing as a craft, but an awareness of how to make your work truly profound. As we move through the semester, practice writing not simply as students, but as creators. Experiment with writing, in other words, as writers do.
As always, write well, think well…and good luck.
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Our friends are like a dream. Once they disappear, you wake up, facing the harsh reality. When we come back from summer vacation, that friend that we thought of as our precious family, will be an empty, black hole. As I was growing up, I had a couple of friends. The relationship would have lasted an eternity, but that all changed when I no longer needed to go to the day care center anymore. Occasionally we would see each other in the halls, but as we started hanging out with other friends, we started to drift apart. Eventually we never saw each other again. My heart tore an inch.
What were once my friends are also my reminders of the (almost) happiest moments of my life. It would probably take a miracle for them to come back, but I hope that someday I will be able to see them again even if I have to travel across the world. For now the friends I currently have are enough to keep me going. I've had enough new friends already and it would be a pain if any of the “new friends” I make vanish a year later. If I ever lose anymore friends, I won't cry. If they find new friends and leave me behind, I won't lose any sleep over it. If I die alone, so be it.
You did a great job of incorporating imagery. Nice job on elaborating on how "friends are like a dream". There was good creativity on how you put a statement and explained it from personal experience. mechanics are ok. tense stayed the same. Stayed on topic
Overall good job
I agree with you, I believe that people sometimes hold on to friends, just to know that they have someone and also that people don't completely open up to a person because they do not want to get hurt or they know that friendships fade. When I loose friends because of different reasons I act like I do not care, but deep down I feel a little hurt as well, even if I have only known a person for a short while.
I agree with you, I believe that people sometimes hold on to friends, just to know that they have someone and also that people don't completely open up to a person because they do not want to get hurt or they know that friendships fade. When I loose friends because of different reasons I act like I do not care, but deep down I feel a little hurt as well, even if I have only known a person for a short while.
I really like the first paragraph. I just found the dream thing really vivid and I could imagine it. I also agree that if new friendships replace your friendship with someone, it's not something that you should lose sleep over.
I totally agree with what you say about friendships they do drift apart. You have a class with someone you become friends with them but once they transfer out or if you transfer out we drift. We see each other in the halls and say hi maybe catch up but that's it in a few months we don't acknowledge each other unless needed.
I like how you describe friend as a dream. I do not think I am as brave as you, if I lose any of my friends I know I am going to be sad. Maybe is because I do not hvae too many friends, so I hope I never have to wake up from my "dreams."
People seek friendship for many reasons, some of the reasons that people seek friendships are that they are lonely, they need a person to talk to, they need someone that they can trust when they need to consult their feelings, or they have an empty feeling because of their lone lifestyle, because we are a social animal that wishes to be with our kind. Experience shows us that having a social network can help us through problems and emergencies.
People want to spend the time to keep a friend in which to trust and confide. There is a natural human need to associate with people we know well, and we wish to find someone that we can love and trust, and be together happily. We put the time into creating friendships in marriage because marriage is a deeper friendship, that shows you wish to spend the rest of your life with one person. We also see this in school, the reason we make friends in school is so we can get help from people, tell people how we feel and be safe about it, and just fill the void of being alone.
The reason that the presence of someone who you trust makes you feel better is because, your able to share your feelings safely and be able to get helpful advice from a trusted source who wishes to help you. You can talk about your issues and the situation you were having an issue with can become clearer, and maybe resolved. Also another person may suggest a solution to the issue that you may have not thought of. Friends can also help support you such as, missing a day of school you can get the information from a reliable source. A friend can also be asked something you don’t understand, and that can lead to a support network, which also having friends creates.
You have good focus as you focused on three related topics in three seperate paragraphs. There are great ideas put in and they all relate to your topic . Ideas as in evidence used to support. There is good variety.
I like how you listed majority of the emotions and motivations that people have for the need and desire of making friends. Good job!
Some people need friendship, while other like to be alone. The dictionary definition of a friend is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” In other words a person who is also there to support you and be by your side. Another definition is “A person on good terms with another and not hostile.” But to me this seems to be a false representation of friendship. Friendship is loving one another and being one person with two different bodies. Just because you get in an argument doesn’t make you friends? That, I truly disagree with. I believe that if you care and are a true friend to someone you will be there to help them make the right decision that would benefit them the most. Sometimes it is hard for the mind to let you do right, and when others tell you something is “bad,” you will disagree and feel hostile. True friends will be able to argue and have a 3 second rebound of laughing together again.
Personally, I have friends that are just like me! They are there to tell me things that I may already know but I want to hear, they are there to give you a helping hand when you need one, and they are your brothers and sisters. I have true friends and I have “just friends.” My true friends I spend time with and never get tired of them, while my just friends, I occasionally talk to them when I feel lonely. People seek friends because they want to feel included and loved. Nobody wants to feel alone or like nobody in the world. Even if you have a thousand friends people often still seek for more. Sometimes they are “just friends,” and these types of friends aren’t your real friends, but we are okay with knowing that you have someone that you can call your friend. Just like on Facebook, I have nearly two thousand five hundred friends knowing that 98% of them are not my true friends, it is just the fact of even having the ability to say that I do makes people feel loved or included. Although, I can count on my two hands for how many people I would die for and they would do the same for me, it still makes a person feel better even if it is imaginary or unreal.
Lexi Cooper, Period 5
I liked how you took evidence to support your statement from a dictionary. Good focus on how freinds support each other. The content is good as in good ideas.
First grade was a time of innocent development. It was in first grade that one could marvel at a muddy puddle and connect it with chocolate milk. It was in first grade that one could fan himself with his hand and then realize that his hand would grow too tired to sustain the refreshing sensation. It was in first grade that one could roam the field in search of bees to smush without fearing the consequences. It was in first grade when I had my first friend. Despite the curiosities that came with being in first grade, having this friend seemed natural. There was nothing to wonder over. We stared at puddles together. We fanned ourselves together. We smushed bees together. Yet this innocent bond had to be broken by the cold hammer of life.
I was home schooled in second grade. And third. And fourth. And fifth. I never saw him again. Part of me has shoved those memories aside. Since I can only remember so much from when I was six, this friend is like a hazy memory. And yet another part of me longs to recover this bond. I dream of the person who I shared my lunchtime with. I long to know who he is now, however changed he might be. I want to know this phantom. I want to know Jason.
I'm amazed by how beautiful your writing is, not just how everything is constructed but also your subject. I think most of us have childhood friends who disappeared or quit being friends for reasons you can't remember or don't know, and want to see how much change there was to them and to us. I would like to know how much you will be willing to do to find him.
Thank you for the compliments. To answer your question, I am willing to find him yet I am not at the point of desparately Facebook stalking him. I don't remember his last name and I have no idea where he is now. So if I meet up with him and somehow we recognize each other, cool. If not, I'll be okay with it. There's not much I can do about it, but it'd be nice.
Thanks for answering my question. I really hope you and Jason can find each other someday.
wow, that is pretty great writing. I've had similar situations, since I've moved a lot around the country during my life. It is great to know that you long to see your friend enough to write about it so deeply. I like how you started your second paragraph, and how you say so much in so little.
for me, your post is the best so far. the first paragraph was fantastic and the second paragraph was really touching. if you wished hard enough, i bet you and your friend could run into each other someday.
I love your story because I can relate to the part about your friend that you wish to find again. You are a very good writer and I like how you incorporated shoving memories to the side. It is true though because whenever something tragic or sad happens we don't want to think about it. I really like your post.
I like how the first paragraph is formatted. You used "It was in first grade" over to express how important that year was to you as well as the friendship you had with him.
I really like your writing, and the way you start your paragraph is different then others, which makes it more interesting to read. and i really hope you can meet your friend up one day
DAVID! I never knew you were homeschooled! Tangent over.
That's really impressive writing. I'm almost jealous that you know how to keep it so brief, but at the same time, tell a small story that still says something deeper! Kudos to you!
It is amazing how you and I both mentioned find true friendship during first grade. Your style is just superb and the line, "Yet this innocent bond had to be broken by the cold hammer of life," really stuck to me.
The way you introduce and explain your views on friendship is really awesome, I love the way you talk about first grade and relate it to a bunch of experiences and it really sticks out from the way others write
I can totally understand your feelings. I used to have a friend shares similarities with me. I had same class with him from first grade to third grade. I was not in USA during this time period. We spent almost six hours per day and five days per week together in school.Sadly, I had to move to somewhere else in forth grade. We did not have facebook back then, even the MSN were not so well known yet. Unsurprisely, I lost contact with him, even though I still remember his name, I do not think he still remembers me, so I do not bother search for him.
Wow, you are a good writer. I am astonished on how good I believe it is. I nominate you man.
Beautiful writing, beautiful story. Honestly your story made me think of graduating from high school and never see my friends again. Good job.
Your story was very touching, and it's definitely an experience many of us can relate to. The way you use deceptively simple words to convey strong emotions makes your story much more interesting, and I like the way your sentences flow very smoothly. Great job!
Amazing, your writing made me want to keep on reading! I also understanding your feeling of wanting to find and get to know your friend again. Hopefully you meet hime one day in the future.
good writing, use of diction and imagery are good, it brings good memories back of my 1st grade.
damn dude that some deep stuff with the last paragraph even in its short length it has a great voice in it that shouts out some emotion.
I have also had some good childhood friends that I have lost and wish I can find them again to see how much they have changed as well.
For me, friendship is a non-romantic relationship between people who share a part of each other. Whether it is shared hobbies, shared time, or even a common enemy, does not matter; as long as they recognize what is shared and are glad to know that, I consider the relationship as friendship (when what is shared is love, they will be considered lovers in my mind). I think that is why our hearts ache when we lose our friends. We feel like we have lost something in us, a piece of ourselves; loss is like a gaping hole in our lungs and it hurts us every time we try to breathe.
Nevertheless, I also think this is why we seek friends and companions; to know that someone has a part of you and you do his/hers comforts us. Without it, we feel insecure and unhappy; to be without anyone to share our fears and joy contradicts human nature. People born to be communal; we are a pack, brothers-in-arms, not lone wolves. It is in our blood. There is a line from one of my favorite movies of all time, Citizen Kane (1941), in which Kane spills his innermost concern to Susan: “I know too many people. I guess we’re both lonely.” Despite everything, he never likes to risk giving a part of himself in others, even to his love. Because of this, Kane dies a lonely death, and I think that is a major factor in making his last breath a mournful, regretful whisper of “Rosebud.”
I agree with you in the sense that our hearts do ache when we lose friends and that we are people who seek companions whether it be friends or lovers. I also liked the way you described loss as it was simply beautiful. Also, props for quoting Citizen Kane. It's a magnificent movie and one that everyone should watch.
Thanks for your comment and your compliment! I strongly agree that everyone should watch Citizen Kane. It's simply timeless.
How you talk about loss is exactly how I have felt it before it does hurt but we do risk the event of being hurt to fill that as you said "gaping hole" that it creates. I also like how you quote in Citizen Kane, that quote of Rosebud does show what it feels like to be alone until the end.
Thanks for your comment! To me, so much is said with that one word- I think it expresses everything about Kane. I think that ability to say by saying so little is what makes Citizen Kane and "Rosebud" so memorable.
I agree that without friends we feel lonely, insecure, and sad. We need friends around so that we can share time and interests with. That's why it hurts when we lose them. I liked how you used a quote from a movie.
I agree that friends share same hobbies, and I like your description of how we feel when we lose a close friend.
I completely agree your definition of friends as people who share a part of each other, and also liked how well you incorporated Citizen Kane into your response.
Friendships are like a contract to me. It's a pact that two people make. There are consequences when you break that contract. Whether it be in the form of sadness, frustration, or anger, something bad usually happens. I believe that is why people long to prevent this contract from breaking because we don't want to experience those emotions. We don't want to feel sadness, pain, or anger in any way shape or form.
A friend that I no longer speak to on a daily basis.... I can remember one person whom I've shared such a relationship with. One who really mattered to me and a friend to whom I could count on and confide in. The reason we drifted apart was due to many reasons; reasons which were partially my fault and some reasons were his fault. I was in an entirely different school than him up until High School. The only way we ever saw each other was if we actually decided to hang out or go over to each others house(which we did quite often). Unfortunately, after a while, this type of friendship took a toll on us and problems started arising that started to pound that nail into the woodblock. Eventually, those problems kept getting hammered and hammered into the block and it eventually split. Every now and then, I catch a glance of him in the hallways and I know that he has seen me around, but the problems that pushed us away were just too great. I would like to say that I want to reestablish this relationship with him, but I believe deep down, after all this time, I've seen him for who he truly is and I wouldn't want to be his friend again. Sure, the memories were good and all, but there were also those times where you feel as if you could tear him apart for what he did or what he said. Ultimately, there are those people who you might regret being friends with and there are those who you feel as if you want to rekindle the flame and start all over with them as friends.
The biggest threat to my current relationships with my friends is one that is unstoppable. That threat is time. Over time, people drift away and some can become closer. What I fear is, as time goes on, I won't be able to keep the current levels of friendships that I have with my friends now. I might grow closer to maybe one or two of them, but the others will most likely drift away to a point where I might see them only a couple times a year or not all. Nevertheless, as it stands right now, I am content with the relationships I have with people. Some more than others, but if the time ever comes when one of those friends do drift away, I know what to expect. I might cry or I might even be angry with myself, but that's what my other friends are there for. I know I can count on them to comfort me.
I agree with you. I really like the idea of a contract that is formed between friends, though I don't think it's as black and white as a contract. I also like the time part in the last paragraph, especially since time plays a huge role in our lives.
I agree with you. I completely agree with Timmy too. Friends are like contract. If one completely breaks the other's trust. The contract is voided.
I agree completely. I really like how you constructed the last paragraph and how truthful it really is.
i really like how you compared friendship to a contract, and i love your last paragraph. I agree completely with time being the biggest threat to friendships.
I like how you expressed yourself with honesty when you talked about losing your friend, and how you isolated time as the biggest threat that would compromise friendship
I like the idea when you describe friendship as a contract. And I also think time is a threat to my friendship.
I agree with you and i liked how you used a personal reference to this topic, it gives it more meaning
I agree with your fears on losing friends through just letting time drift you apart, as someone who has gone through that before I know the hurt that it causes and can relate a lot to your writing. I also like how you put an example from your own life to add meaning to your point of view, it make the passage feel more human- more vulnerable if you will. That cause people to really pause and look back to see if this has ever happened to them or someone they know.
People seek friendship for countless of reasons. For example we seek friendship to feel security if they can't feel it at home, having entertainment to feel relaxed, learning to view things from other perspectives, needing to feel loved, or even just wanting to have someone by their side. Some people may not be able to feel security at home because of strict parenting therefore they need someone to support them. Others may feel easily stressed out with schoolwork or family situations and may need someone distract them with entertainment. We sometimes need a new view on life to understand how to succeed overall. Certain people may have low self-esteem and need someone to boost their confidence by making them feel wanted. During every situation that we encounter we will always need someone to depend on and support us.
We spend time and energy to maintain friendships because people don't like the idea of being alone. We want the satisfaction of knowing that when we need someone to depend on we actually have someone, therefore maintaining the friendship becomes worth the effort and time. We have all the time in the world, so using time to maintain a friendship is actually worth it. Everyone experiences an extreme hardship at one point in their time and when that time comes, we need someone to lean on.
The presence of another person you trust makes you feel better, because you may vent out all your emotions without having to fear them telling everyone. Being able to release your frustration by talking to another person about the hardships in your life allows us to relax and process how to approach the situation we are dealing with, easier.
You have a very strong first paragraph that attracted my attention making me thrive for more. Also, I loved the comparisons you used with the security blanket, buses, and a free bird spreading its wings to fly. It seems as though you wrote from your heart and it shows.
Sorry I meant to put that on someone elses.
What I meant to say to you was this:
Your explanation and examples of friendship I believe are dead on. I especially agree with you about having someone there to be able vent your emotions and hardships. You need someone to express your your problems to instead of bottling them up. A friend will be comforting, understanding and, most importantly, be able to help.
I definitely feel we seek certain things from our friendships that we can't or don't seek from our family. And i agree with the whole venting to someone else. There are things where we tell our friends where we cant tell our parents, it's nice to have someone there to listen.
When we enter our senior year, we take a look at our close-knit group of friends and assume that, since you’ve spent so much time with each other, they will be there for you all throughout college or even life. Then reality hits you in the face. You all end up in different colleges and eventually all you see of them is the occasional Facebook message.
I take a look at my circle of friends and then I ponder about who I can see myself still speaking to after high school. Although I have a decent amount of friends, I can only see myself keeping in touch with about four of them. I believe that people gain many friends throughout their life, but they hang on to only a few. I intend to keep in touch with these close friends, but I’ve learned that being friends for a long time doesn’t mean that said friendship will stay the same. We always gain new interests and meet new people who change us somehow.
I am eager to meet new people outside of high school. I tend to meet people in very unusual situations. For example, I met one of my best friends on YouTube when we both commented on a video. We found out that we were both in the same grade at the same school and we instantly clicked. Moments like these help me find the friends that I feel that are worth sticking with.
I agree with everything you've said about concerns for old friends and expectations for the new. I especially agree that sometimes we meet people in the strangest ways possible; I also think that's why we never tire of creating new friends. I really hope you and your friends keep in touch. Good luck!
I liked the part where you look at your group and decide who you'll keep in contact with. I know I think that when I look at my group of friends. I like how your writing is so honest and real because I agree with what you wrote. I really like this post.
On I basic principal of mine, I believe that friends can be soul mates; this lends to my point that the best friendships are formed around a deep understanding that transcends close to all other bonds. To know that there is someone out there in this vast expansive world that would get how you feel and why you’re feeling it. But that also you and this other person are comfortable with each other because you have the same wave length, what I mean by that is that somehow the two people are connected in thought by some invisible string that ties their two minds together and holds them close.
This is how I feel about my best friend Alix, though she doesn’t go to this school anymore we still talk and see each other very often. Are friendship started out simple enough through classes we had together, naturally we started talking and found out that we have a lot of the same interest and have many of the same habits. As we got closer throughout the year it was blatantly obvious that we thought a like and even one of are teachers went as far as saying we “complement one another” in the way of our thinking and processing. That was at the time it was said, and now one of the biggest complements I believe our friendship has gotten. It tremendous to me that I have someone who I feel understands me and knows where I’m coming from, and the simple fact is, for a long while I thought that I would never have that again did scare me. But in my best friend I found a stability that neither family nor boyfriends could ever really fill, I found someone who understands me and accepts me for who I am. I found my best friend.
Friend’s are one of the most influential things in my life. They’re my surrogate family, especially since my real family is generally unavailable due to work. I repeatedly go out with friends for some companionship, though not out of desperation. My friend’s are the people who I go to so I can relieve stress, ask for advice, discuss passions, and just hang out. They continually open my eyes to new things, especially when we have discussions about life in general. With that, I like making friends with kind, funny, and genuine. I spend so much time with friends that they kind of mold me and make me who I am today.
People seek out friendship so that they can have someone to talk to about anything. Friendship is a way to avoid feeling all alone in their thoughts. Friends hold a power where the more you get to know someone, the more you trust them, and it turns into a second family and you know that you can talk to them about anything. They are people that support me and who are willing to listen when I have something to say, especially when it is important. Spending time and energy to build and maintain friendships are beneficial whenever people need someone to talk to, especially since friendships can yield unexpected results. Someone I got close to because they helped me through a tough time could end up being my best man at my wedding, so friendship is definitely worth maintaining. These are the people I turn to all the time, and my time with them are my most memorable moments in my short life.
I love how you stated that friends mold you into who you are. So true. You can tell so much about a person based on his or her friends.
The qualities that make a person important to me are the person should have a sense of humor and can incorporate it into business. Such as cracking a joke while saying something boring so ones attention stays with the speaker. A sense humor is an important thing to have because it will make your friendship with the person fun, which most people want in relationships. If one were to take a look at some of my closes friends, they would all have a sense of humor and would almost be able to laugh at anything, even about politics. Humor also breaks tension in the atmosphere and can ease people’s anger when they are fighting, allowing the friend to bring an end to the fight.
Another Quality that I believe makes a good friend is humility. When one person acts as if he was greater than another that is equal to him, anger is stirred into the one who treated unfairly making the relationship grow tense and not a fun atmosphere. With humility one can also relate to past mistakes and learn from each others, such as comparing answers on a math test you both took during class or helping each other write English essays by proof reading them. Humility also helps people relate one another because when you fail a test you want your friend to sympathize with you and talk about when they also failed a test and not have them brag about how they got an A++ in an AP class.
I agree! With everything! But I really liked reading the section about humility being such a key thing in friendship. Maybe thats why rappers always have a hard time keeping friends!
AGREE! friends with a sense of humor can sometimes relax us, calm our stressing nerves. Having fun friends can definitely help us build a more optimistic personalities!
When we first started attending school, we were all either anxious or shy or excited little children, not knowing what to expect in such a foreign environment. Even now, we are still somewhat nervous and excited when a new school year commences, for the most part. We initially feel a bit alien and secluded because we did not know anyone in class. But then, after introducing ourselves in some way shape or form, we start developing friendships with these peers. We steer towards a person and develop a bond with them maybe because we like their personality or name or perhaps even simply because we like their hair. Eventually we may form so tight a bond that the person is worthy enough to be called a "best friend." It is this best friend (or these best friends in some cases) who influence us most alongside family.
Most of us have a best friend, if not more than one (or have had at some point in our lives) and know what it's like to have a companion who like (or love) you for who you are. We have best friends who will do silly things with you. We have best friends that are there to support and motivate you, always. We have best friends that tease you, knowing that it is just for laughs and that we will not be offended. Though we share priceless memories with these friends, we should not let them prevent us from exploring and finding undiscovered sides of us, because friends tend to do that, claiming that they love us just the way we are and do not want us to change. However, we are constantly changing and growing, for the better (I hope), so I am not too hesitant to let go of some older friendships and gain new insightful ones.
You made some great observations about how we feel in foreign situations and in the rediculous reasons we chose to affiliate with people.
I like how you noticed that while our friends like us for who we are at that moment, we change through the course of our life and that is one of the reasons we have to let go of some friendships.
Friends are like a security blanket because you go to them when you feel like your back is against the wall. They make you calm and bring your head down from the clouds. They make you laugh when you feel down and give the best advice. We make friends because we don’t want to feel alone. As I look through my friendships throughout the years some are tragedies but it brings you to your best friend in the end. Thinking about graduating is depressing because you know you have to leave your friends. That is the way it goes unfortunately.
In a way friends are like buses when you miss one another is going to come around the corner. It is part of life that which each new phase brings new friendships. When I think about graduating I think about college. College is another phase in life and when the person decides to live on campus keeping a high school friendship can be tricky in college. The person is like a free bird when they go off to college. We get a chance to spread our wings and fly and hopefully not fall on our faces because we have been training to fly for a while. It is possible to keep a friend from high school but there’s a good possibility that it will only be one friend. It depends on the person’s personality if they want to keep in touch with their friend or not. I know I have a friend in mine I want to talk to forever.
I like your points on how we rely on friendships for security! And I understand what you mean when you want to talk forever! It was very insightful, but at the same time very personal!
I agree with your statement on how friends are like a bus. I've lost many friends, but I've gained more friends from those losses. I love your use of comparisons and how you managed to keep it creative and personal.
As we enter the last year of the high school, everyone is looking forward to his or her graduation while considering entering colleges soon. The senior year also signals the end of many friendships as each one is planning separate paths. It can be a bitter-sweet moment when our high school years comes to a close. However, time and distances should never be an obstacle to friendship as long as friends stay together.
You have a very strong first paragraph that attracted my attention making me thrive for more. Also, I loved the comparisons you used with the security blanket, buses, and a free bird spreading its wings to fly. It seems as though you wrote from your heart and it shows.
I don't really agree that you immediately lose your friends when you graduate, but I still see what you mean. It gets harder to maintain the friendship even with all the social media online, but you can still remain friends.
I agree that it feels depressing to leave our friends, and I like the comparisons you used.
I like the way you compare friends to buses. When we miss something in life, we will always gain something later on.
Thank you for the nice comments they feel good. It feels good to know that people like what you wrote. I tried to make the comparisons as good as possible so it feels nice that people like them.
I've learned that the development of a strong character takes circumstances that force an individual to experience situations that cannot be overcome with prior strength. A strong character has weathered difficulties and turned them into strength. I've never been very close with either of my parents, I love them very much and I say that with full sincerity, but I was never guided or lead by my parents. When I fell down or had a difficult circumstance I didn't really go to them for support. And honestly I could write an emotional story on how I was never loved and how horrible my life was, but that's not how my life has played out.
I've realized and I am still realizing the importance of individuals in my personal life. I have friends who I see more often than others, but I have been impacted by people I've only seen a hand full of times in my life. I think "importance" can be a very strange word, not that I think about it often, but I've always thought how lucid that word is. Importance to one individual can mean nothing to another, and for myself I feel as though the trigger of importance someone must present in my life is "Existence." I believe that the stranger I see on the metro trying to hold back tears of which I do not know the origin have stuck with me just as equally as the friend who bought me a cold drink on a hot day.
I believe that the existence of individuals intertwining, even if it's just momentary, with my existence is what gives them importance. These important people have taught me lessons and mentored me through difficulty without the use of names or words.
I agree completely, as I wrote something slightly similar in my response. It's not necessarily who or for how long you know one person, either way that person impacts your life. Whether that man on the metro only changed you for a day or for a week, it becomes a ripple, and that day or week changes the next.
You're writing is beautiful and thought provoking
We seek out friendship mostly for selfish reasons. We want to have a person to trust, so that we can share our secrets with him or her. We want friends, who will support us when we are feeling down and stand by our side when something happens. Sometimes, we just don’t want to be alone, like Gilgamesh, who is “alone and … longed for some companionship.” Rarely, will there be people that seek friends so that they can help their friends go through harsh times. However, through time, our selfish needs will slowly vanish and turn into a care for that friend. That is the time when a friend becomes a true friend. Then, the next step is to maintain the friendship. We maintain it so we will not be lonely again, because that feeling is not enjoyable. I have felt this extreme loneliness, especially during the previous winter break, where I had no one to talk to, not even my parents, which resulted in depression. When school finally resumed, I felt a great joy in seeing all my friends again, and the loneliness slowly drifted away. After this, I really started to appreciate the power of friendship.
Although after graduation, most of us will go to different schools all over the nation, I will still try my best to maintain all my current friendships. Even if my friends will go to the other end of the world, I will still use the power of technology to maintain the connection between us. But, I would still look for new friends that have similar interests in life by meeting the people around me and, facing my fear, talking to them more often.
I like how you are the only one so far—or at least I think you are— to have referenced Gilgamesh with a quote. I quite agree with you on your portrayal of a true friend. Friends should be there because of only one thing: genuine care. I am glad to see that your friends helped you pull out of that slump.
I like you use the quote from Gilgamesh to relate to your view about friends. Moreover, I enjoyed reading your point of view in viewing friends. Hope you conquer your fears in meeting new friends!
I like your unique take on friendship by saying that we do it out of selfishness, which is true
Connection. That moment when your minds simply click for the first time. When superficial bias gives in to such mutual understanding. Those instances are the beginnings of friendships that can blossom into lifelong relationships. Having had moved around my whole life, I've always yearned for friends that would make an imprint in my life, more than just for the few years I would physically be with them. Those friendships I had were void of any deeper meaning than merely playmates. As much as I enjoyed fighting off the evil monsters from the other side of the mysterious realm that was the edge of the playground together, I couldn't help but feel it was all for nought when those bonds eroded so rapidly as I inevitably drifted away to new places, new faces, and new pointless friendships. Such was the fate I had accepted.
It was 6th grade; I had finally gotten used to seeing the high density of asians here, unfathomable to someone who had grown up in the South: Texas, nonetheless. There I was sprawled in my chair, my mind wandering the plains of absentmindedness, when I suddenly realized this kid was talking to me. Having nothing better to do, and frankly caring less about paying any attention to the teacher, I engaged him in conversation. I don't remember the exact nature of that conversation, nor do I really contemplate why it was that particular one, but somewhere in-between "hey" and "why are people so stupid at math," we became best friends. All because of that one moment, I have shared my pettiest crushes to my heaviest regrets with him ever since. Why can a conversation between two acquaintances result in nothing more than a waste of breath while that same conversation between two strangers constructs a bond that transcends logical comprehension? I believe, it is simply because I heard a click.
First of all, I love your diction. You kept it mostly formal, but added a couple of humorous anecdotes to show your personality and creativeness. I also enjoyed your use of imagery when you mentioned "fighting off the evil monsters from the other side of the mysterious realm that was the edge of the playground". I feel like that really is a true interpretation of what life in elementary school was like.
I like how you pointed out that friendships can be pointless.
very beautiful... my words aren't enough to describe how good this is.
I like the choices on words. they put me in the view of how you see friendships, and also provide me vivid images of situations you were in.
Like previously said, your diction is great. I am impressed with how you are able to use these words to create such a vivid imagery. I agree with you about how those friends that are with us for only a few years are “merely playmates.” I can see this happening everyday to myself when I walk down the hall, seeing old faces, but never greet them. Also, I like your view of how friendship form, with "simply...a click," which describes many of my friendships.
I like your use of imagery while I was reading this I could imagine everything happening in my head. Great Job!
I really liked yours actually o.o I can really connect to that initial feeling of drifting around and not having lasting friends. I moved around a lot too.
Also, yours was really interesting, kept me hooked till the end
And no, I didn't just read yours because I was looking for a semi-short one in this...sea of words x_x LOL
Continue writing like a pro~
I was impressed about how you tied up your post with the same concept that you had used to introduce your topic. You were able to connect your specific example back to your theory of friendship, making your post cohesive.
But I have to ask, if all your other friendships fell apart when you moved away, how sure are you that the friendship you forged in your example won't just crumble when you move again like your previous ones?
I'm not sure, but that's the beautiful risk of friendship isn't it?
I really like how you composed the entire post. It has a nice flow to it with nice diction. It was mostly formal but you still managed to sneak in some humor which was great!
Hanning, I really like how your post talks about how deciding friendship is like a split second. Moreover, I like how your whole post wraps itself up from beginning to end!
Your diction was awesome! I really like the way you write, you keep it formal, but I didn't feel like it was too formal or rigid. Your writing has a good flow, and you know how to keep me hooked till the end! Keep up the good work Clincy's cousin(right?)!
I like how you started your 1st paragraph. Your paragraphs in general are structured well. I can relate to how you move a lot (hey, I've lived in TX for a bit too!) and want lasting friendships; it's hard to keep friendships when you move around alot.
First of all, I liked the way you structured your paragraphs. You move from general to specific, so you keep your writing organized. Your diction isn't the only thing that stands out; you use a variety of sentence lengths to keep your response interesting and fluid. I also find it nice that you vary the structure of your sentences, so that each sentence is completely different from the previous one. Keep up the good work!
I like how you shared your experience about meeting a new friend, which as you explained, wasn't rather exciting, but nice nonetheless.
Moving on to bigger and better things, sometimes feels like losing the biggest and best things. In the case of graduating high school and moving on to college, I feel like the sanctuary I worked so hard to build up will vanish and have to be rebuilt. My main fear in this process is the disintegration of contact with my friends. I have had the same two best friends since elementary school and their friendship means a lot to me. So as when we graduate I plan to keep in contact, I plan to hang out with them whenever we are available. But that plan will ultimately falter and we will lose contact. I am dreading that day.
After high school, I will be lost. I won’t have any direction other than “go to college.” I haven’t had to meet new friends on my own since 2nd grade. Consistently the people I know I meet through my two best friends. When I go off to college, I hope I meet great people, reliable people, and fun people. The people I will try to become friends with will be nothing like me. It’s boring to be around people like yourself because you’re always around people like yourself…you. So I’ll take a few shots in the dark with friends, maybe meet a jock, a nerd, a badass, or an artist but I wont know how close well be until I talk to them on a deeper level.
I see what you are talking about the fear of losing the friends you've had since elementary school, I think that is a bit of fear in a lot of people. I do like how you go for people who are unlike you and it does make sense because you are around yourself all the time. It is interesting though to go after people unlike you because not to be a downer or negative it doesn't work a lot due to differences but hopefully those can be bypassed and ti works out.
I agree because I believe this to be true. Going to college, everyone has a new start and friendships start to drift. You and your friends may go to different colleges or out of state. You no longer get to see each other as often and communicating can be hard. From a new beginning, people need to build a new foundation with all new people.
I really like how you said, "I feel like the sanctuary I worked so hard to build up will vanish and have to be rebuilt." Those words really made me think about my time in high school, and how short four years really feels.
This is my favorite that I have read so far. I agree with Andy and think that second sentence is great. When you mentioned meeting a badass I chuckled. Kept my attention. Nice job.
I can see how you would be afraid and lost after graduating from high school and I think many others can or will relate to that as well. I also like how you're going to attempt to make new different types of friends even though they may not be just like you or share similar interests. After all, you never exactly know how things will turn out right? Hopefully all goes well.
I also understand your fear of losing really close friends like that, because I fear that as well. And I'm happy for you that you've kept those friends this long.
Friends are companions who we share joy, interests, time and fun with. My friends are special to me because they are loyal, positive, and honest. They give me advice, share their interests with me, and make me laugh. Many friendships are formed through communication because people get to know each other through the many conversations they have over the years. I met my friends in middle school when most of us had the same class schedule and sat near each other. Ever since then, we ended up sitting together at lunch for many years. At lunch time we share stories about what we like such as, anime, music, or sports. We constantly have conversations on just about anything and enjoy being together because we feel relaxed and comfortable knowing that we are not judged. We can truly be ourselves around friends. The more time we spend together the more I feel happy about knowing that there are people around me who I can relate to. We are just a group of people who like having each other around.
Despite all the wonderful memories I shared with my friends, I never truly knew what it felt like to lose a friend until I received news five months ago that one of my friends had past. It made me realize that I should treasure every moment I have with the people around me because I will never know when they will be gone. Once someone is gone they will never come back. Every moment I have with my friends should be special. Friends are people who I care about. As times goes on, I hope my friends and I will make the effort to keep in touch. We have to make an agreement that we will at least try to maintain our friendships and seek each other's company.
As friends, we always communicate with each other about everything that we experienced every day. To be with the people whom we are familiar with over time is the best feeling in the world. We know each other’s dispostions and rountines, so it is easier to stay in a friendship than constantly seeking a new one. However, as the friendship grows, most tend to take it for granted that our friends will stay in our life forever. Life is unpredicable and one never knows when life ends. Therefore, we should all appreciate our friends in treasure every moment that we spend together.
“She’s changed, guys.”
It was eighth grade. My friends and I were sitting at our usual lunch table when a girl who used to sit with us walked by with her own friends. The comment was not intended to be harsh or snide, but merely an observation of what happens to many middle-school friendships. People tend to change and distance themselves from those who suddenly don’t seem to share the same interests anymore. In this particular case, the girl had hung out with a different group of people over the summer and grew closer to them while drifting away from us. There was no animosity between our two groups, so when my friend remarked how she had changed and slowly left our group, nobody seemed that upset over it. I’m not sure whether or not that’s a good thing. Now that I think about it, however, I can’t help wondering if she was the only one who changed. Maybe my friends and I changed collectively and she didn’t. Maybe we both changed and were no longer consistent. Regardless, whatever led to the end of our friendship, I feel that it certainly wasn’t the worst way to lose a friend. There were no fights or arguments, no hurt feelings, and no sense of betrayal. We were just different.
When I think about what would have happened if this girl never left our group, or even if she came back, I think our groups would still have separated at some point. As for my current friends, I think the biggest threat to our relationship is not a change in friend preference, but going away to college and being physically distant from one another. Most of the friends I have now I’ve known for five or six years. There are some in our group with whom I was never very close, but I would still like to keep in touch with them during college. If we don’t see each other and the majority of our social interactions is based on internet status updates, I won’t mind. As for the few friends that I am very close to, I will make more of an effort to maintain our friendship and meet up with them as often as I can. I will undoubtedly make new friends in college who may or may not be the same “type” of friend as the ones I have now. That’s also fine with me. The way I see it, I won’t be the same person either.
I definitely see your point of view. I essential have had the same experience except I was the one who drifted away and joined a new group of friends. It wasn't that I had left my old group its just that my new group was just that much more compatible to me.
People seek their friendship mostly for their own benefits. They can receive gifts, acceptances, or even knowledge through a friendship. For example, when puritan first came to America, they try to become friends with Native Americans. It is obvious that Native American gave puritan a good start in this mysterious land. Also during American revolution, Americans received help from their friend France, even though it was mostly American that fought the revolution, we could not ignore this benefit from their friendship. In the movie "Social network," Mark Zuckerberg starts the facebook with Eduardo Saverin's money and some additional help. These examples all show friendship builds on benefits.
For myself, I am not so good at making friends. I cherish any friendships between me and my friends, and I appreciate their helps to solve my personal problems. I do not think I can help my friend much, but I am willing to help them if they ask me. As I mention before, I am not so good at make friends, so I do not have a restriction for friendship. By that I mean I am willing to share my life experience, happiness with them. My friend do not receive many benefits since I am just a regular person. I do expect them to enjoy the friendship between us.
Good Job, I totally agree with how you said that some "people seek their friendship mostly for their own benefits". Sometimes as friends, we kind of try to gain things from each other, but it is normal if we were really treating them as friends. I think your friend will understand you and will enjoy the friendship between you and them!
I see what u mean, though i dont stand on the same side
as you say"people seek their friendship mostly for their own benefits". i believe sometimes friendship doesnt necessarily have to involve with benefits, sure that benefit may happen if we have friends, but i believe it is not our ultimate purpose of having a friend.
I agree with your idea, because I think we seek friends for our own selfish needs. It is great that you used many examples to back up your argument. Don’t be too worried that you can’t provide much help for your friends, because by staying beside them and supporting them, you give them your love and they will appreciate every minute that you spend with them. They will not be lonely with you by their side.
One of the friends whom I used to know is Amy.We were both classmates and roomates in a private boarding school when we were seven years old. I met her in the first day of my first grade. Throughout my middle school, we had become best friends. Although Amy was a shy girl, she treats others with kindness and helpfulness. Since we were roomates, we were almost inseperable: we attended classes together, shared meals together and even told each other secret every night. Those years when Amy and I spent time together was perhaps the most memoriable time during my childhood.
Unfortanly, I moved to America to continue my education, so Amy and I were separate. At first, we try to keep in touch with letters and phone calls, but we discontinued after a year. As we entered high school, we both became busier and long distance communication is more difficult to maintain when we are at different ends of the globe. After a year of study in Arcadia High School, I have held friendship with several new friends whom I really treasure. Most of the time, we get alone wonderfully although sometimes we still disagree on different issues. I think that disagreement among friends is the most reason that threaten most friendship.
I like your story because basically I have the same experience as you did. I have a best friend friend in China, but after I came to the United States our friendships changed. We use letters, phone calls, and MSN to contact each other at the beginning. However, time passed and we no longer close to each other as we did before. I think the problem is that we have long distance and we live in two ends of the globe, so we do not have chance to meet each other everyday, to talk about the interesting things, and share secrets. This lead to the limited friendships that we are unable to maintain.
My best friend is like me in so many ways, bright, funny, opinionated. We first met in kinder garden and our friendship automatically clicked. We grew up together in Arcadia and attended the same schools up through eighth grade. However, when it came to attend high school, my best friend and her family moved to Pomona. It was tragic, but it wasn't too far away so we could still see each other. We constantly keep in contact and would spend time with each other as much as possible. This lasted for about a year, then everything started falling apart.
As both our lives became busier, we started to lose contact. Neither of us could drive a vehicle, making it difficult to visit. When I tried making plans with her it always seemed as though she had more important things to do. It seemed as though she was losing interest in me. However, what set me over the edge is when we arranged plans together and she would not show up. She didn't even have the courtesy to call me, much yet pick up my phone calls during her absence. It seems that people change over time, especially when you haven't seen them for some time. She has done this to me multiple times, but it made me stop and think. Is it her who is being irresponsible and needing to grow-up, or is it me who has matured and able to recognize the value of a relationship? A friendship can not stay bonded unless both sides are putting in the same amount of effort. After giving her many chances, I finally realized it was time to let go and move on.
It's sad to see that you lost your friend out of no where and not having any control of it. But its very inspirational to see that you tried to maintain it. The fact that you put effort when she didn't, proves that you truly are a caring person.
I really liked your story, because it felt relatable.
Yes! Same thing happened to me. One of my friends moved to another city and I was so sad. I thought she and I would be best friends in the same school until graduation! I tried to keep touch but she never replied to the messages.
What is a friend?
“Friend” can mean a lot of things. For some, it’s simply someone to play games with. To others, friends are much more. Friends are those who will always be there whenever you need them. People who will drop what they’re doing on a moments notice for you. To be honest, i think that kind of friendship is silly to expect from people.
A couple years ago, i knew a girl with whom i wasn’t too close, but still talked to on a regular basis. Lets call her Samantha. One night, i was completely swamped with homework. Projects, essays, the works. As i worked, Samantha sent me a message, telling me she got in a fight with her boyfriend and she wanted to talk. After making sure it wasn’t too serious, i let her know i was too busy to talk, and would text her later.
I was ignored for several days. Waving in the hallways would produce nothing more than a cold stare from her. Eventually, i cornered her and demanded to know why she was angry at me. She told me it was because i was a “bad friend. You should have stopped working to talk to me.” After that, she brushed past me and hasn’t spoken to me since.
In my opinion, the previous year of listening to Samantha’s problems and helping as best i could should have been worth more than the one time i couldn’t help without sacrificing my own work time. To me, her expectations for what a friend should be were ridiculous. A friend for me is someone i can have fun with. A friend should be willing to help with anything i need help with, but not at their own expense. Ideally, its a casual relationship with someone with similar interests. If they’re fun and have an interesting personality, its a great friendship for me.
For replies (if anyone chooses to), don’t compliment my writing. I already know how amazing i am. I’m interested to see what everyone else thinks of friendship, so instead, answer my question. What is a friend to you?
My view of a regular friendship is just someone who will support you and not make you feel lonely. But a true friendship is when your selfish needs are changed into a caring heart for your friend. Just like my aunt say, “your true, best friend is the one person that you will share anything and everything with,” because you are willing to give up any selfish needs for the other person. This sharing will definitely not occur among basic friendships. (See my post for what I mean by selfish needs.)
Hmm, to comment on your story, I think you should have set aside what you were doing and talked to her. Honestly, I'm only saying this because girls, when they message you about something out of no where with a problem, they're usually stressed, depressed, and in need of comfort. When you abandon them when they are in need, they feel like you've betrayed them. It seems trivial to you, but to her, it feels much worse since she's already down in the dirts. It's like rubbing salt into a wound. It hurts already, you leaving her made the salt feel that much worse. LOL
Just saying for future reference its a girl thing~
I really loved your writing, different from others, unique.
As for what I think a friend is, just read my...is mine the longest? x_x or not, you don't have to lol, I just realized its super duper long. But I answered a similar prompt to yours. What's a friend?
I have to say I disagree with you... yes being a girl I can understand that they are fragile and are sometimes in need, but at the same time it starts to cross the line of selfishness. A friend isn’t someone who has the same enemies as you, or listens to your drama and sides with you. A friend is someone who will be blunt and tell you the truth or tell you that you’re wrong. Yes the girl in his experience was hurt and needed “help”, but he could have been just as “stressed, depressed, and in need of comfort” with his problems or even homework.
Mm, I understand what you're saying, and I may be a bit biased on this, but I still stand with my original point. As proven from her reaction, what she wanted when she messaged him was his comfort. She needed, at the time, someone to talk to, someone to rely on, and she grasped out to him and he didn't take her hand. Sure, there's that bit of the other viewpoint where she's selfish for expecting him to be there for her and getting mad at him for not being there, but she is just that kind of girl. It's just "her." Some people wouldn't have been mad, some would, it depends on the person. But in that particular case, and I'm also speaking for myself because I can connect to that girl, I would have wanted him to be there, and if he had shook me off, I would've been a bit hurt. If I was already hurt, I would be even more hurt and something that i wouldn't have minded as much regularly when I'm feeling okay, would be almost equally as cutting as a betrayal.
Hope I could convey that particular feeling to you. I'm not sure how to explain it~
One of the main motivations to keep modern moving on is love. Most people gain love from something called friendship. If a person felt “happy at your success and sad at your failure”, that person would be your friend, and they would be very important to you because they could make a big difference in your life. We often seek out friendship because we are humans; we feel loneliness; and we want someone to support when we are down. The friendship between one and other can slowly disappear as time goes by, so we have to try out best if we wanted to save and maintain it. With friends, we can be comfortable and safe because we know that we can count on them and that they will provide us with a shoulder when we cry.
I remember friends I made when I was still living in Hong Kong. I also remember how I became close to one of my best friends. We met each other from school; we did not talk to each other until we became partners in a sport activity during P.E. class. Soon after, we started to communicate and we started to have the trust to tell each other secrets of ours not only at school, but outside of school. We would shall the joy when we are happy, and we would also try to comfort the one who is sad. Having the same kind of personality might be the reason why we feel happiness when we are together. This friend I had been talking about is one that I can no longer see but we still keep in tough on internet.
My current friends and I would have a big possibility of leaving each other in the future. This threatens me every single time when I think about it. However, I will try my best to maintain those friendships and to have contacts with them no matter where we will be once we graduate. I do hope to make some new friends in my future school or working place. I also hope to meet some friends who can help me, who care about me, and who have some similarities with me. Being funny and kind can be a way I try to make friends with wherever I am headed next because that is my personality.
I share you view of how friends form. Many of my friends are also formed by sharing the same classes. These classes we chose define our interest and personality, so it is true that friends should share similar personalities. Your approach in meeting new friends is good, and you can make many friends this way. Keep up good work and be more cautious when you write (some spelling errors; reread your writing will help).
Friendship plays an important role in our lives. According the Aristotle, “A friend is a single sole dwelling in two bodies.” Friends can help us find the meaning of life, overcome fears and obstacles. They provide wise advices, share different experiences and possibly trigger motivations. With friendship still exists, we no long have to worry about loneliness. Just being next to friends can make us feel more secured about our identities. I know for a fact that my friends will always be there for me if i need them.
Friendships are usually formed by sharing the same interests in certain area. During middle school, this stranger and I sat in the same table in the same science class. For whatever reasons I do not recall, we started our first conversation by sharing interesting science facts with each other. As time prolonged, our understandings of each other increased. We began to open up more about ourselves and eventually got to be great friends. Yes, it is a mundane process. But, I made friend.
That is the way to make friends, especially in classes. Just share facts and gradually work towads a good strong freindship.
We seek friendship for many reasons, we as humans are naturally social people, with the exception of some who like to stay alone. But even though we make friends and eventually build a list of individuals we consider close enough to be a friend, but out of the dozens in that list who do you know that you can depend on and talk to anytime you want to or need to. When we eventually narrow the list down it becomes quite small.
I’ve made many friends in my lifetime, a few dozen maybe up to the hundreds. But only a few have stayed, only three or four of my friends I have stayed in touch with ever since I entered high school. When I entered high school things changed, friendships changed, I’ve made many friends in my high school career but in reality they were more like acquaintances or classmates than friends. None of them really knew anything about me; besides what my name was or that I liked the Gorillaz because they would spot me wearing a Gorillaz shirt. They never really got to know anything about me and never tried, yet I still called them friends because I thought it was the normal thing to do. That it was easier than saying “this is my classmate” or “this is my acquaintance” and I also did it because I felt like I had to fill a void inside me. I hate being lonely and I still do, I hate going to places alone so this is where my friends come in to fill the void.
I think that the people who "like to stay alone" still want friends but have given up. We shouldn't just ignore those people because they ignore us, but you don't have to necessarily be best friends with them.
YES! we always call "my classmate” or “this is my acquaintance” friends!! However, I will say this is not a real friendship, because the most desirable friendship should be more deeper than these. For instance, you will place trust in that person(friend), someone that you will confide in.
I think most can relate to hating being alone. The worst I think is eating alone, I always dread that. Haha/
If you think about it, life after high school is like a dark tunnel. There’s a light at the end but you can’t find your way there. You have a general idea of what to do, where to go, but it’s easy to get lost when you’re alone. However, if you take the path with a friend, it’s a much less daunting task than it seems. Your friends will watch out for you, as you will with them. They’ll support you in your aspirations in life, while you support them with theirs. They’ll help you reach that light. Humans obsess about friendship for this very reason.
I made my first friend back in first grade. We did almost everything together at school, and he was the first friend to invite me over to his house to play around afterschool. At that point in time I thought we’d be best friends forever. Things just didn’t go our way. In 3rd grade he made a new group of friends, as did I. We were never really close after that. Nearly a decade later, we don’t even make eye contact in the halls. It’s like we never knew each other.
Something that threatens the friendships I currently hold would be the giant leap of faith that is college. No matter how close are you to your friends, college will separate you from them. For example, my cousin graduated from Arcadia last year and chose to stay in state for college, while her best friend went to the east coast. Sure, they can keep in touch by texting or Facebook, but it isn’t the same as it was before, seeing that person every day.
I understand how you must feel losing that friend of yours as I've also lost my fair share of friends. I can also see how college would be a big threat to our current friendships. We as people can keep in touch with our friends through online websites such as Facebook, etc. but it just wouldn't be the same as being right next to that friend, talking to him or her face to face.
Wow, I never looked at my friendships like that. I never realized how much i rely on my friends, that they're the light that helps me through my darkness/ hard times.
Friends lost. Friends gained. All these are the natural rhythm in our childhood lives. Throughout our early days of being a child, we had all wanted to have friends. However, as we grow up some friendships can be lost. When I was in first grade, I had made a new friend. We always stayed after school in the day care center, played with each other in the playground, and sat next to each other in school. I had thought that this friendship would last forever.
However, as I progressed to second grade, I had moved to a new city and to a new school. I had lost the connection with my friend that I always used to do everything together. Despite the fact that I had lost my friend, I had gained new friends in my new elementary school. I had quickly become friends with a classmate and we helped each other on homework, played in the playground together, had sleepover parties and we also played Lego together. Even though, I had lost my best friend from first grade, I had created a new friendship in my new school.
Your first three sentences really stuck with me. Your experiences and viewpoint are very relatable. Nice use of specific examples; they weren't very lengthy or detailed but good enough to get the message across.
Thanks David! At first, when I posted this up, I thought I didn't get the all of the message across. However, after seeing your comment, I am relaxed. Thanks again!
Friendship, an abstract noun which people have different view toward it. If I ask what is friendship? You may just look up dictionary.com or flip through a dictionary, but I believe that friendship isn’t a “term” that could be explained just in plain words. It is a word that you feel; it is a bond between people that we understand by heart.
People make friends for their benefit, and express themselves, and to fill in the emptiness in them. From a friend, you may gain something that is abstract, like knowledge and trust, or something that you can actually touch, like gifts. For example, through out time, I learned much from my friends, things that are taught in school that I didn’t understand, like my biology course (which I am terrible at), and things that are not taught in school, like trust and responsibility. People make friends to express themselves and fill in the emptiness inside their heart, like how I make friends so I have someone to talk to when I’m depressed, and some one to laugh with when I am happy. For example, my friend talked to me when she was depressed after break-up. And last school year, she won an award of school competition, and we went to celebrate.
Friend and us are like body and soul; one cannot fully operate when another one is missing. Maybe we yell at each other, maybe we fight, or maybe we just disagree with other, but what is important is that they are always there for us, willing to help, willing to listen, and willing to give us advice.
I like your explanation of friendship because I feel the same way as you did, which the term friendship cannot use the plain words to explain it's meanning, it talks about the deep relationship between people that they can feel by heart.
I agree with you, because friendship is a term you can not describe in words and friends do benefit each other.
Friends are people who help us through the hard time. Through the thick and thin. They help us when we forgot our homework by telling what our homework was. They help us after a harsh end to any type of relationship, whether it be a date or a lost relative. They comfort us and as people friends keep us feeling “secure”. The type of security it that you can not get from you relatives in some cases. Secure and stable, because sometimes only a friend can get you though tough times.
When I was twelve my grandmother pasted away. My parents were devastated and I was too but I tried to stay strong for them. My best friend at the time knew that I was acting differently, he saw that I was sad and because my parents were worst then me I did not want to tell them anything. When he asked “hey are you okay” I responded by letting all my sadness out. Of course friends help you through all the tough time but sadly as we all know friends, most of the time, do not last forever. They help you a lot but sometimes when you wake up and realize that you just moved, it is a terrible feeling. Security and stability are what friend are for, but just like those two feeling friends will not last forever.
A friend is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard” and “a person who gives assistance.” Those are the dictionary.com definitions for the word “friend.” But for me...I have never been attached to another for long, nor have I ever asked for assistance, assuming assistance is on a deeper, emotional level, from any of the people I call my friends. Then, I began to ask myself, did I ever have any friends? This is the answer that I have reached: Yes, I did, and there was just one person that I could truly call my friend.
Let’s call her “Celeste” because she goes to our school, and I don’t want this to story to reach her. And also, because the name is awesome. I have known Celeste for...ever since 3rd grade. The first time I met her, it was a sunny day with rainbows and flowers blossoming everywhere and birds chirping and I saw her and knew right away she was going to be my best friend...not. Actually, when I first saw her, I hated her. She had just moved in next door to the house that used to be my previous friend’s. I hated her because one, she took my playmate’s house, and two, because she had a cute dog. Even though I hated her, our parents bonded, and we often played together; I would always do things to purposefully piss her off. She would give me reciprocal treatment so it was all good and fine. Our relationship could be defined as a love-hate relationship; the hate moments definitely outnumbered the love moments. And somehow from this unpromising start, we started to really bond in 9th grade all on the account of a Sailor Moon DVD...
Celeste is bold. She’s unafraid and has this aura of unrelenting, merciless demand. She dominates and controls. If she walks into the room, she’s the king, not the queen, the King. She was powerful, not in physical strength, but in her demeanor, her poise. And I was just...me. Maybe it was her sheer charisma or maybe the fact that there was a her that no one else but I knew, but I was drawn to her like a little puppy to its owner. And I was a happy puppy at that, one that wagged its tail just to be petted on the head. I followed her around, and whenever I could, I was next to her. However, not once have I cried to her. I never once showed tears to her or asked for her comfort. She just wasn’t someone I would ask assistance of, but she was the “bestest” friend I ever had. She was everything that I wanted and everything that I dreamed to be. (I just wanted to add that NO, I am not a lesbian, and NO I do not like her in that way, just in case some people are having little doubts about my sexuality at this point.) It was respect and it was a feeling that I had never felt for anyone. I thought we would be friends even when we were adults and had our own children. I thought that our friendship would last till death do us part. But in reality, it lasted a lot shorter than I had expected.
Then, there was the chasm. Celeste is a person easily jealous. I was hers, her property, her friend, but I was also a puppy that found its mate. During the summer of 11th grade, she was no longer my owner. I wagged my tail at another; I no longer lived to breathe next to her, and I was gaining my independence. That chasm in our friendship lead to its destruction. Today, when we see each other in the halls, the most I would do is say “hi” or comment on clothes she wore, simple etiquette. She was no longer there. And truly, her disappearance from my life didn’t faze me that much. I was sad for about a week or so, and I was better. Part of the reason was probably because there was someone new in my life that meant more to me than her. The other part would probably be because I believe that all friends are meant to go at one point or another. Here is a reason why we do not marry our friends. They are friends, happiness at the present, and nothing more. The ones that will last a lifetime are the ones that you marry. Friends to me are people of the present that will find their own special someone with other priorities than you. Friends do not ask assistance of you, nor do they cry to you. They will only come to you when there is absolutely no one else for them. Otherwise, they will not go to you. Their existence is simply to resonate happiness with happiness and create a false blanket of security that shatters when a chasm appears. And that chasm will always appear. No matter how much you declare that your friend is the only one that you will go to when you are in need, you will always fall into that abyss into true security and true eternity.
Celeste was there, and her happiness amplified mine as mine did hers. Our friendship was a true friendship, but it ended as everything else in this world ended. She is now occupied with with her new friends, and I with my love. It started, it ended, but it existed. And that, is enough.
I'll admit that I was a bit concerned with the massive amount of text at first, but after reading it through, I feel like you said what needed to be said in a relatively decent amount of space. Your voice is really distinct. Your diction is good and you varied your sentence lengths and structures well. I find your position at the end of the third paragraph and the last paragraph interesting. I might not totally agree, but you did a great job in getting it across.
The massive amount of text you typed up is quite intimidating, so I don't think a lot of people will praise it as much as it deserves to be lauded. I really enjoy how you compared your relationship with your friend as "a little puppy to its owner." It really illustrated the uneven, yet strong bond you two had. I also loved how you gave such a strong opinion at the end.
Friendship is core to the well-being of a person, without it ambition is lost and solitude is gained. It is the bonds formed that bring us together and rid people of their cynicism. No matter man or woman friendship is sought out because it is an inherent part of living and is a day to day necessity. Some of the leading causes for depression are the inability of coping with stress and the feeling of social isolation. The reason people spend the time and energy to maintain friendships is because the process itself is gratifying. The feeling of acceptance is intensely rewarding and all the hard work to achieve friendship is completely worth it. It goes without saying that without friendship one can not be truly satisfied.
The fact that I have a person that I am able to confide with all the time is extremely reassuring. If I am having a bad day I have someone to turn to, if I am having a great day I have someone to tell. How there is always a person that has your back and supports your every decision is a great motivator to strive even more. Not only will they support your decision, but also make sure you are making the right decisions. Having someone you can trust with your secrets is one of the greatest benefits of having a close friend. Instead of bottling up emotions you are able to fully express yourself to another human being. Trust is one of the most valuable things a person can have and that is only found through friendship.
People seek out friendship because most people do not want to be alone. People want friends so they don’t feel empty and so they do not go through life feeling that way. They want a person or a group of people they can turn to in times of need. Friends are not just for the bad times people want friends for the good times as well. People spend time and energy with their friends in hope of creating a bond that can not be easily broken, some succeed while others fail. Imagine when something terrible happens it is like falling into a bottomless well and if a person was all alone with nobody to support them they would fall into this well for eternity; friends are there as a safety net to stop you from falling in.
A good friend helps out in any situation even if they are not asked, they just know when. This is what people strive for, to have people who know them as well as they know themselves. The question is not “why do we strive to have friends?”, but why we would not want someone there to help in bad times or to be there when we are having the time of our lives. We need people around us who can comfort us and be there when we need them to be.
Friendship is easy to earn but is hard to maintain, especially a close and lifelong friendship. I met one of my best friends when I was in middle school. We were together all the time until she moved to another city. Although we kept in contact at first, we later began to find out that there were not too much to say because we were in different schools and different cities. She soon made her new friends, and so did I. Since from that time, I realized that a close and long-term friendship was really hard to maintain. Time and distance can always separate friends, and we really cannot help with it because everyone all has different life, so nobody in this world can always be with us.
Because maintaining a close friendship is hard, we should treasure our friendship. I made a few best friends after I got into high school; they helped me on homework and scanned me notes when I was absent; they brought me lunch when I was at home by myself; they told me every little interesting things that happened to them; they cried with me when I failed my AP exam. I have once seen a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, " Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." My best friends made me realize that although maintaining close and lifelong friendships is hard, we could always treasure friendships as our most beautiful memories.
I agree with your point because friendship is hard to maintain when we facing some difficult situations like what you mentioned.
I know how it feels when you and your best friend are not in the same places and don't have the common topics to talk about. It is the time when friendship starts to diminish.
I think, over time, a friendship evolves from simply knowing someone’s name and spending time with them to being able to trust them, even making sacrifices for them. For me, the most important quality a friend should have is the willingness to sacrifice time or resources for another friend. I know there are other qualities a friend should have, but if you know a person isn’t willing to make sacrifices for you, when you really need it, they probably aren’t ‘friend’ material. However, that doesn’t mean you should expect them to sacrifice everything they have for you (that would make you a bad friend).
Personally, I’ve lost dozens of friends over the years. It’s not something you can easily notice every day, and when you finally realize what has happened, it’s devastating. Whose fault was it? What could have been done to prevent this? After spending some time thinking of an answer to those questions, it suddenly dawned on me. Those friends were totally different than the friends I still have today. The friends I had before were people I played with on the playground or talked to in class. Sure, they had, and still have, many qualities a friend should have, except for being willing to make sacrifices – for me, anyway. A friendship will not work if only one friend is willing to make sacrifices. In my case, I was willing to make sacrifices for every single one of them if needed, but they were not. I think this also applies to every type of relationship: friends, family, and romantic.
I love how true this response is, particularly how you define a friend as someone who is willing to make sacrifices for you.
I agree with your point that friends should be willing to sacrifice time and resources for another friend. Only real friends will be willing to do that sacrifice. Good job.
To me qualities in a person have to be trustworthy reason being someone that you’re not able to trust you’re not going to be as open as you would be if there was trust. Also have to able to understand each other without that then there no true friendship; friendships are based off of trust, understandings, and compatibility. With that being said compatibility is the last one got to have some type of compatibility it’s been shown threw nature that there has to be some similarities, rare cases where there has been a tiger and zebra together but that not so true for humans, you can’t have two bossy people in same room some conflict is going to happen.
Unless you’re like Holden Caulfield its human nature to seek company of other to share, the experience like birthdays or Christmas. Individuals seek out different kinds of relationships; family, friends, acquaintances, and even co workers and to spend the time/energy with another human being who you trust and understand may be a pain but you feed off each other energy to make it positive and worthwhile hanging out. With trust you let go and you say whatever’s on your mind and so does your friend whether it’s good or bad. Trust it is like the main core of a friendship with out that there is no true friendship it’s just another person.
true stuff dude if people cant even understand each other how can they actually call themselves friends since without understanding there is no trust
There a multiple reasons for seeking friendship, some of these reasons are not necessarily good or bad. Some people use friends as stepping stones into a new social class that they want to be a part of, they use friends as safeguards against falling into irrelevance. These people treat friends as associates, tools, or people that are only useful when they need them. They use "friends" for their schoolwork, social status, relations with other people, and other "perks" that are associated with the person. These people are like parasites, they put in the time and energy to maintain friendships so they can leech off of their "friends", and get through high school without taking any damage, emotionally, or physically.
Then there's people who actually want to have real friendships. Friendships in which they can feel like they have their own group, clique, or even family. Someone they can rely on when they get hurt, lost, or bored. They can start meaningless conversations, and still have deep conversations that same day. Friendship in their eyes is valued for other reasons, not only as a safeguard, but as a form of emotional security. A friend is a shoulder to cry on, a crazy buddy, a "let's be wall flowers at the dance" partner. Maintaining relationships with these friends seems to require the least amount of energy from me, because I click with them, and we both understand each other to a scary extent. A great friendship shouldn't require years of relationship building, and hours of spilling each other's feelings, it should only require that each person is looking for the same thing, and realizes what their friend wants. Maybe friendship is just an easier topic in life for me, but the energy used to maintain a friendship, is definitely worth having one more friend you can act absolutely ridiculous with.
I believe that people should easily be able to root out those people that make you believe that you are friends but are actually just using you. However some people are desperate for a friendship or don't even realize what is happening to them. It is always those friends that are closest to you that you can trust. Like you said having a crazy buddy is definitely enjoyable.
I find that something as simple as trees can represent friendship in every way. They start insignificant, just tiny seeds, but can become something large and important. Both require nurture and attention, people in friendships depend on each other just like the sun and water are essential to a tree’s survival. Constantly changing over time, trees can be measured by height and width whereas mere numbers don’t define friendships, there is no standard or guide. Trees grow in many different ways; sideways, straight up, even outward. Friendships are the same, grow when cared for, unattended and will shrivel up and become nothing, in today’s society it’s easy for two people to become strangers in a blink of an eye. Time will eventually consume everything that we hold dear, friendships don’t last forever, but they can grow tall, be sturdy and durable, influence and make an impact to their surroundings. Countless memories and feelings of friendship are tattoos engraved in your brain, just like the crudely carved initials of D.M. encircled with a heart lie on a tree, where marks are constantly being made. Both friendships and trees don’t last forever, and they don’t have to, that’s the best part of the process. Some get torn apart by thunderous storms, some get knocked down by humans who need resources, some can be eaten up by vicious insects, but there are others that grow tall and reach the stars. The once insignificant seeds have sprouted up and have grown into long lasting friendships that are cherished and remembered for a lifetime.
Things change as we become adults and move into college, change as we pursue our goals and dreams, as we tackle the future. Friendships are made, gone in a blink of an eye, and new ones fill the ones we have left behind. I consider myself lucky to have already found my best friend. Others will always speculate and try to evaluate whether or not my relationship is as good as I claim, but it doesn’t matter. There is no perfect friendship, its different for everyone. For me, its a confidant, someone who sacrifices time, effort, patience. Someone to trust, someone to love, someone to teach and learn from, someone to argue with, to experience life together, two people come together and create an unbreakable bond. The bond I share with my cousin is unexplainable, we share the same crazy sense of humor, have the same thoughts, even the same height. And our friendship isn’t defined by the way we are similar in everything, it can be seen through the love we have for each other.
Really good analogy! I like how your writing also flows quite nicely as you read, and you're right when people don't take care of a friendship, it won't last.
Human beings have an innate want for companionship, and the best way to get that is through friendship. Friends give us an opportunity to have experiences together and share things with one another. If two friends have a mutual respect for each other they will do their best to stay connected. The thought of being alone terrifies some people and is a reality for some. Being confined within one's self, and not being able to have contact with others can cause problems with someone attitude. The thought of being alone and the companionship shared between two friends is what make people strive to stay connected over the years. Without the support of friends in our lives we as people will crumble.
Through my life many of my friends have drifted away from me. As we grow older we all develop our own personality, and that can interfere with our relationship to others. In junior high me and my friends were all really close. We spent time together, and all shared the same interest. As time progressed me and one of my close friends started to drift apart. When high school finally came, we were starting to lose interest in being friends. Finally it all ended with a big fight after months of growing apart. To this day we still don't speak and I haven't seen him in 3 years. I feel that what causes us a human beings to drift away is our individuality and our personality. Little differences will grow and turn into dividers between two friends.
A friendship. A dream.
"Hey, let's go to the same college and dorm together!" These words were only a figment of my imagination. First grade, I was awkward, strange, and in my opinion, the most ignorant child back in Glendale. My hero was my best friend, Dan, who was also my neighbor. He fought my fights and cared for me like a brother. We would ride our scooters around the block throughout the whole day, laughing at each other and enjoying the sweet freedom of our childhood. I was really lucky to even have a friend. He rose like the sun in my heart; however, he would one day disappear like the moon. As time passed, my father made arrangements for my new life at Arcadia. It was over, the wonderful friendship with Dan was over.
Even now, I wonder what would have happened if I had never moved to Arcadia. Would I have followed Dan's new addiction for taking drugs? It startled me as well.
As for now, My dream is now taking place at Arcadia. The only obstacle that can end this fantasy is when I start a new life at college.
Being honest is a quality seem to make a person important to me. Honesty is the most important element when building trusts in a friendship. Why do we need trust in our friendships? It is simple, because we need someone to confide in. Usually, we share our feelings with someone who understands us and is willing to comfort us, support us. Friends gave us the feelings of being wanted and cared. We wanted to be recognized, instead of being alone or isolated. When a person is lack of honesty, the trust between one and one's friend will shake, then fade away slowly, and will finally be lost. We need friends to place our trust on, and to share. Sharing is important as well, through sharing we know more and understand more about our friends. Having a better understanding of our friends can make a better life for both the friends and ourselves, we can share our happiness, sadness and more.
To me, I believed that friendship should be long lasting. Even though there are times that we are not meeting each other as often, like after graduating, everyone follows his/her dream, and busys on his/her business, the friendship between us should still stay. Everyone needs friends! Friendship is important to make one's life easier and successful!
I agree with you in in that honesty is an important quality in a friend. However, i don't think a friendship really needs to be long. A short friendship can still be a good one
Like Aristotle said, “without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” Even if someone had the riches of the world he/she will still feel empty inside, they can’t vent or talk to material objects. We can’t turn to material objects for the comfort we seek from our friends and family, “[our] wealth is where [our] friends are”. (Plautus)
People change, friends become strangers, and it’s all part of life. Even if I try to keep them by my side, some how they still end up disappearing. Everyone has friends, but very few have close friends. Those friends where we were able to let our walls come down and draw closer too. Personally I don’t have many close friends, I don’t like the idea of tearing down my wall and letting that person in and then have our friendship die. But I can say the friendships that I treasure right now are the ones I know I’ll treasure until graduation and after. They might not necessarily be my best friends but they’re the people who helped me open up, who helped me find myself when I was trying to fit in, who had my back since day one. Whenever I’m in trouble or going through a rough time they’ll drop what they’re doing and come help me, they always make time for me whenever I need them and I would honestly do the same for them.
I do agree that we don't have a lot of close friends in comparsion to the people that are just friends. I guess it's why we need a best friend or friends.
Music is a huge part of my life. When I’m in class if it’s allowed, then I will be listening to music. While I’m walking home from school, I’m listening to music. As soon as I get home I put my iPod away and pickup my guitar. Even right now, I have music on in the background as I type. Knowing this it should come as no surprise that that the foundation of many of my friendships is music. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have friends with different musical tastes; many of my friends listen to music that I find almost unlistenable. However, I have realized that the friends with whom I am closest share an admiration for at least a couple of artists. The common ground makes the friendship stronger. Friends cannot like all the same things, but some important things must have common ground. For me, music is one of those things.
My best friend and I like almost all of the same music. I have even heard him say things like, “if Nathan likes it, then I’ll like it too.” Even if we could run out of things to talk about, it wouldn’t matter because, we could just sing our favorite songs. There is never an awkward moment, but it wasn’t always that way. We’ve been friends since around the end of freshman year, but the first six months or so he was more of an acquaintance. The whole summer after freshman year we only hung out once and it wasn’t planned. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I know the most important thing that happened was I showed him the song “House Warning Party” by the band Joyce Manor. This is what changed everything. Everywhere we’d go, we would sing the song; the first lyric in particular. “There are five delightful flavors in a light savers roll. // My grandma used to say I got a sentimental skull.” This lyric ruled our lives, it became so ridiculous that other friends could sing along without even ever hearing the song. That’s just how important music is to my friendships. It is impossible for friends to like all the same things, but some important things must have common ground. For me, music is one of those things.
If anybody actually wants to hear this song:
(NOTE: Song contains profanity.)
I really enjoyed your post nathan. Musics a big part of my life as well and my friends and I love hanging out and just listening to it.
Our friends are like family that we pick. In my eyes they are my family. They are there to pack the void that our blood family cannot fill and to grow and learn alongside us. They are also there to experience with us the bliss of growing up and the ecstasy of living our lives, while also going through the pains and the heartache of the future. Despite the hardships we go through in life, our friends are there to make us remember the good times and the bad. Helping us push through the obstacles that we face in the journey towards obtaining our happiness. Additionally being the safety net that keeps each of us safe and secure.
While growing far apart and disconnected is one of my biggest fears, I will try to maintain whatever relationship I can, due to the history that we have accumulated. Through the fights and the arguments, the good times and the bad or just the loved ones that came and went all this history we have shared with one another is what would make our bonds stronger. That is also why when I’m down and out it feels better with them there talking to me and understanding what I’m going through than when I am with my real family.
this is so true "Despite the hardships we go through in life, our friends are there to make us remember the good times" good point.
friends are like another family that we have. in some instances they can be there when no family member can be there and may not be able to understand where your coming from like a friend can.
As I have matured in life so far, I learned a few things about the topic of friendship. To me there are to types of friends. They can last for a season or a lifetime. It can be quite difficult to predict which category your friends will fall into, but in the end majority of them should be worth fighting for.
To me, a season friendship is not so great. Usually that type of friend is not worth it and can annoy the hell out of you at times. These type of individuals may not usually mean harm, but in the end the may end up hurting you. These people aren't worth fighting to keep a bond with and need to be cut loose unless the get their lives together.
Lifetime friendship are the ones you should keep even after you hit the grave. These people try their best to better you in almost every way and they truly care to see you progress in life. These are friends that will have your back in tight situations and you should have theirs'.
Friendship can be a funny thing or even a sad thing at times. It is up to us to choose which path with a friend we take. There are many different ways to make friends, but there are many different outcomes to them. I believe you should not let them hurt you in the end but make you stronger.
Ever since I began my career as a student, I have found it difficult to maintain long-lasting friendships. Perhaps it is my inability to engage in conversations for extended periods of time, or maybe I have simply been the victim of a series of unfortunate events. Whatever the reason, I have never been able to keep the same friendship for more than a few years. I experienced as a freshman in high school, when a friend who I had met in the eighth grade had stopped greeting me when we passed by while walking down the hallways. At first, I simply thought he had not seen me, or perhaps he was too busy doing something else. But I had realized that recently, our conversations had been getting shorter and shorter. We moved on from having long talks about our school day and our hopes for the future and our past regrets to brief exchanges about something new or interesting.
As saddening as it was to experience a lost friendship, I had learned much from my brief companionship: I had lost many friendships previously not only as a result of circumstances, but also because of my unwillingness to make an effort to keep them. Had I tried to keep in touch with my old friends, or had I possessed the courage to break the walls of ice that formed between my companions and I, things would probably have been different. I learned that friendships can only be as strong as how we want them to be. The more effort we put into maintaining our friendships, the stronger they can become, while the same is true. If we refuse to put in effort into maintaining our friendships, then drifting apart and losing our friends will become unavoidable. No matter how distant we believe we have grown from our friends, or how far we think we have drifted away from them, there is almost always a way to keep the same friendship. While our bonds may inevitably weaken as we grow older and move on, as long as we stay in touch with our old companions, these bonds will never break.
I am not entirely clear on the policy of posting, so I apologize in advance if the following paragraph contains content that is not appropriate for this blog. I’ve written this because I thought a different approach might be a bit more appealing.
I will be frank: concocting a response relating to friendships that have ceased to exist or preaching about the wonders of having a companion is something I would love to do... in the diary that I do not keep. Rather than posting about some friendship I regret losing, I have judged it to be more interesting that I discuss the qualities of what I deem to be a good friend. Besides completing all of my homework and purchasing lunch for me on a regular basis, the people I find important accept me for who I am and do not judge me based on my appearance or shortcomings (or lack thereof). It is not necessary for a friend of mine to agree entirely on my life philosophies (although I will immediately consider anyone that does so to be my ‘best friend’). If I happen to make a mistake, however unlikely, someone who I would consider to be a true friend would help me fix it, rather than shun me for a blunder. Tolerance for others is a principle I strictly adhere to, because I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if mine happens to be superior to everyone else’s. In addition, I often disdain engaging in long conversations, as made evident by my natural reticence. People who have a lot to say, but do not expect answers of equal length are whom I consider to be prime candidates for companionship. Ultimately, in the end, last but not least, and in all seriousness, the quality I find of utmost importance in a friend is tolerance, because to err is human, to forgive is divine.
I agree with you for most parts; you just put all that was on my mind in words, that I could never do. I like that you put that quote at the end, (even though I still don't really get it..haha)
The lunch-bell rang. We raced to our favorite bench, glued our butts to the seats, and celebrated yet another successful territorial claim. Such brotherhood describes my happy elementary school friendship. We were very consistent: for four years we would laugh together, play basketball together, and eat at the same red bench together. But during the fifth year, I enrolled in a different middle school. My friends were so devastated such that I reassured them I would call and visit at least once a month. These promises, however, were broken by month six. Why? Why did I no longer call and visit? More importantly, why was I too afraid to continue calling and visiting?
Puberty. We were transforming into completely different people! My hormones began to overwhelm me with attractions to girls and other crazy teenage problems! Realizing this change within me, I became worried about what my close friends themselves could have become: sexually driven animals, cussing idiots, etc. So, I avoided them not because I couldn't approach them but because I only wanted to remember the innocent them. Although it was never said, I sense that they felt the same way since they too stopped the calls and visits. Ultimately we became strangers, and after all these years we actually don't miss one another at all. But still we continue living and remembering the beautiful friendship we once shared.
WOW, you are good good writer and I like how you keep it hilarious to.
I really enjoyed your response because you wrote it kind of like a story. It kept me interested and made me want to keep reading.
I'm trying to find the like button to this post.... I love your humorous voice, especially in the second paragraph. It really jumped out to me after skimming through all these posts. Keep up the good work.
i like your vivid use of imagery in the second paragraph
Friendship is the most important thing in my life because I believe that people cannot live without friends as fish cannot live without water. As friends, we usually talk about the thoughts, feelings, and inner secrets to each other; we fully trust each other;and we show the self confession to each other. To build up a friendship, we need to learn something that help us make the stable relationship with the friends. However, the long-term friendships are difficult to maintain because there are many influential causes, such as some distance problems , unsolved issues, and complex conflicts. So we have to treasure the current happiness that we gained.
I have a best friend when I was in elementary school. We talking about knowledge that we learned, daily life routine, and inner secrets during everyday in school. And We keep the connections on MSN until the first year I came to the United States. After one years of long distance contact, we both have less words and information for each other. I think that is the beginning of estrangement. And it is true, we can no longer maintain a close friendship as I was in China because we do not meet each other everyday and we lost understanding for each other. So I had been losing something important to me and I will more treasure what I have right now. Therefore, I believe that everyone needs a chance to has a soulmate in one's life in order to making a long lasting friendship.
I am seventeen years old, and have moved more than a dozen times in my life. Whether it was a different house, a different city, or even a different state, I moved. Eight schools, never with the same friends from the last school, or a friend I’ve grown up with my whole life. I haven’t known someone since the second grade, or went to middle school with him. I always knew I wouldn’t be staying in my old schools for very long, so my friends were just that, temporary, and knowing that made making true friendships a little difficult. The famous lines of “I’ll see you soon”, “We’ll keep in touch”, and “Friends forever”, became as used as the word “like” in the valley. This never bothered me though, because I understood that I can make new friends wherever I went.
For the first time in my life I am at the same school for more than three years, and reflecting back upon these last three years, I see that my friends continued to change. The friends I had graduation plans with, became a simple wave and hello. Although my heart weakens from the loss of an old friend, I know that that one person, for however long I knew him or her, helped me become who I am today. Of course I would like to recover all those friendships lost, but at the same time I can appreciate what I had for how long it lasted, because that individual not only helped shape an environment that I will never forget, but gave me experiences and stories to share for the rest of my life. Which ever of my friends that may be now.
I like your comparison of the phrases "we'll keep in touch" etc. with the word "like" used in the valley. Maybe it's just me but it seems like we use the word "like" here a lot too. Anyway, I like how you are able to keep up with and adjust to new environments with so many moves.
I understand the feeling of wanting to recover lost friendships. Your post grabbed me.
In the past, I guess I’ve assumed that human beings made friends to fit in. Having someone to talk to and spend time with made you seem as if you were sure of where you belonged in the world, not lost or confused. Now, I realize that not all “loners” are lonely and that there is a greater motivation behind why we decide to make friends. For me, my friends are my family. Yes, I have two supporting parents and I love them with all my heart, but if I were to have had the choice of who my mom and dad were, I’m not sure if I would have chosen them. Friends, on the other hand, are people we have selected to associate with, most often because we see something we admire or respect within them. The more time and energy we put into making and connecting with friends, the larger our personal support system becomes, therefore making us feel secure and confident.
I believe that the primary foundation of friendship is having something in common, whether it’s liking the same band, playing in the same sports group, or just happening to be in the same place at the same time. Natasha and I were in the same colorguard squad the summer before our freshman year and I met Tiffany when we became stand partners in orchestra. Some of my experiences are worthy of sharing and some are not, but I don’t think that is what is truly important.
I have definitely experienced times where I have lost friends, several of which resulting in sadness and uncertainty, but the majority occurring due to class changes, new friends, or simply one person moving away. At this time in my life, I find that my friendships are more fragile than ever, threatened by the upcoming year, when people will change, grow, and leave this place we have all called home. A lot of my peers will say their goodbyes and describe every moment as their last, but I refuse to follow along. I’ve met people in high school that I want to join me for the rest of life’s journey and I’m determined to not let the time we’ve had together fade away to memory. Especially now with texting, the Internet, and social networking sites, I don’t think it would be an impossible feat to catch up with close friends every couple of weeks or so. At the same time, I want to continue to create new bonds with people in college and wherever I go from there. This way, I will always find myself with the comfort, support, and happiness I need to know that my life is worth living.
A friend is someone who will support you and stand by your side no matter what. A friend is someone you can trust and rely on when you have a hard time. A friend is someone who loves you for who you really are. I met my best friend in high school. I have someone to talk to and share my little secrets after we became friends. We’ve had lots of fun times together, hanging out, watching movies, and gossiping. I can be who I am and show all my true feelings when I am with her. I know how hard it is to maintain a friendship, so I treasure this relationship and hope it will never diminish.
College is a fresh start for everyone. We can meet different types of people and make new friends there. It is hard to maintain a high school friendship in college because we probably get into different colleges. Nevertheless, I don’t want to lose any of my old friends, so I will keep in touch with them via phone, text, or email. I never had a long-lasting friendship in my life before. After my ex-friends and I went to different school, we became unacquainted gradually because we both started a new friendship and we didn’t even say hi to each other. I don’t want this kind of “tragedy” to happen again, so I will be more active in order to continue the friendship.
I don't think drifting apart from past friends are tragedies especially if the time you guys spent together was fun and exciting. Life goes on and new friends are made.
We seek friendship because we are social animals and because we feel lonely from time to time. Friendship is something you can easily lose if the in bond between is not strong. Time and distance makes it hard to keep. To maintain a good friendship it takes time and energy and people are willing to do that because no one likes to end up alone. The insecurity in life makes us desire to have someone to rely on. Knowing that you have someone to trust and can always turns to when facing difficulties makes us feel safe and secure. The presence of another person makes you feel better because you feel as if you have another person who is playing this game of “life” with you. And friends can give you courage and reassurance.
For me, friendship is like an invisible bond that link two or more people together. The best thing about having a small, tight group of best friends is you do not have to pretend to be someone or wear the mask you put on everyday when facing others. Best friends are people who love you for who you are and they support you or give you help through challenges.
That is a very intresting perspective, the idea that we, the human race, are merely social animals. You kind of remind me of Dr. Brennan on Bones the TV show......
But I also agree time can wear away a freindship between two people.
People were not made to be alone, but to be interdependent. This is why communities are formed in the first place. People rely on one another for assistance, for more innovative ideas, and simply, for more of what we can’t do alone. Take the president, for instance. He or she always has their personal cabinet and advisors with them at all times. Although leaders may be expected to possess a wide range of knowledge, it is impossible to be skilled in every field, such as economics and foreign relations. People form companionships in order to compensate for their own limitations.
Yet in doing so, people are obligated to form a relationship. Then, they become friends with one another. This is more of an emotional and physical bond than just a mutual understanding. They are there for a person when an individual needs them most, they are able to understand one another and they are able to grow and prosper together. With friends, everyone can be confident in everything and anything they choose to do. While the more friends a person has, the more confident they can become. Accordingly, the fewer friends a person has, the less confidence they have as well.
I think drifting away from friends after graduation is bound to happen for everyone. It's definitely a lot harder to maintain friendships after high school because everyone begins to go on their own paths. At first, everything might seem to be the same since everyone cooperates to get together, hang out and do whatever comes up. However, things will eventually change when everyone goes off to different colleges and meet other people. I hope that with my friends, things won't turn out like that because I will make the extra effort to keep in touch with them. Whether it is through the phone or the computer, I know my friends and I will continue to communicate and plan to see one another as often as we can. In terms of a fresh start, I just hope that I will discover who my true friends are.
I am planning to attend Glendale Community College so that I can continue to play tennis. I hope I meet a lot of new, but different people who are also well-rounded because that's very important to me. Since I have grown up and been in Arcadia my entire life, I think it would be interesting to meet people of all kinds of ethnicities and backgrounds. For me, I think meeting someone completely different from me will help give me a new aspect of the world and the people in it. At the same time, I'd also like to meet a friend who is very similar to me because, after years of meeting people, I haven't met anyone who I could say that about. At Glendale and wherever I go in my future, I know I will have no problem meeting people as long as I continue to be friendly and open-minded. I believe simply striking up a conversation in any one of my classes could go a long way.
I really like your comprehension of how time affects friendships since I personally experienced them and how you relate your future blue-print to it.
“…28, 29, 30. Ready or not, here I come!” he shouted. There I was, playing the childish hide-and-seek, at 14 years old, squeezed in a cupboard in my messy house. He came running into the room, ironically singing the “Trapped in the Cupboard” song from one of MadTV’s hysterical parodies. Little did he know I was actually hiding in a cupboard.
I had met him in a strange way. He had just met my little sister, and she invited him over to our house one day in June. I was sitting on the bed, hypnotized by the TV that I didn’t even notice him come into the room. My eyes glance up at an image I would remember forever: this smaller-than-normal Korean boy, about 11 years old, with a little mole on the cheek, army-camouflage arm cast, and a blue-colored tongue (of the popsicle from my freezer).
After that moment we just clicked. We did everything together, and not things people would normally do at the time. I remember we’d climb trees in the park and hang off them like monkeys in a jungle. We’d play tennis, basketball, soccer, and football, acting like we were the pros of the century. We’d have push-up and pull-ups contests, and I would always win because he hadn’t hit the peak of adolescence yet (and I was just that buff). We’d bike together around the neighborhood super fast ’til our legs generated lactic acid. We’d rollerblade and one time I tripped on a peanut and got bruised for life. I remember we’d walk to the library every Friday, and pull pranks on people outside, and dip hot Cheetos into Coke Icees and eat them ’til our stomachs ignited on fire. I taught him how to play the piano; it was a Chinese song and I taught him the lyrics even though he was Korean. I remember we’d dash through sprinklers until we got drenched, like kooks who’ve just escaped from a circus, not giving a darn about what the world thought at that moment. I felt like a little kid again!
The problem was that he was a 6th grader boy. Or maybe it wasn’t a problem. Nonetheless, in only a few months, we became good friends, best friends. Who knew it would take a 6th grader Korean male to become my best friend, to hold all my dreams and secrets? We held a friendship like no other. I admired him a lot, but only as a friend, and so much that I deemed him my little brother. It was a romantic platonic relationship. Is that even possible?
In about a year or two, this little Korean boy I held dear to me moved away for reasons that must remain confidential. I wasn’t allowed to know which city he was moving to, not the area, not the school, not his phone number, not even his online info. All communication was cut off. It was just like seeing someone pass away, if you couldn’t see them, or even communicate with them in the simplest way possible. One of the best friends I’ll ever meet in a lifetime was gone. Just like that. This was probably one of the most devastating moments of my life, and it would haunt me. Every. Single. Day.
He visited us a few times a year after he moved. We were still friends, not best friends, but friends. I wanted to think we were still best friends and on the outside we were; we acted like it, still laughing like normal, talking about the same old things. But things were different. He grew up, he changed, he wasn’t so innocent anymore. And even though externally we were close, deep inside I knew things had changed. Somehow I knew that the moment he stepped out of my life was the moment I’d never see his former self ever again.
People seek friendships to have someone to keep them company. When a person is alone, he or she will most likely feel bored and lonely. If there is a friend to talk to or to play with during this time, it will make that person feel better. For me, I definitely enjoy having companions than passing time alone. I enjoy playing games and joking around with friends. I don’t usually share my feelings with them. I am not the kind of person who likes talking about emotions. I am self-reliant and I seldom seek help and support from friends. I just need friends to have fun time with me. My friends are my challengers. I like being challenged and life is not fun without challenges. I am always thrilled when my friends push me to reach my maximum and whenever I can beat them. I have friends who share a common goal with me and we work as a team to achieve our goal. For example, I have friends who play simulated business games with me. We formulate our strategies, plan our steps of actions, execute our plan and strive to make the best profits together. We are bonded when we work hard together and have a lot of fun and excitement. “Happiness shared is double” is so true. I cherish most is the trust we have established in one another during the process. However, I also have met friends who are not truthful. They lie to me and betray me for their own benefits. It usually takes me a while to recover from the hurt. Making friends may not always bring joy to my life.
I don’t think I need to do much to maintain friendships because I can always make new friends wherever I go. There are always people who share a common interest with me, though I need to be cautious about being deceived. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean I will lose my old friends. We just don’t keep regular contacts, but friends are still friends whenever we meet again. As long as we are truthful friends when we are together, we are friends forever even we don’t see each other. I have friends that I meet once every three years. We don’t correspond when we are apart, but we always enjoy our companionships whenever we meet. Quality is better than quantity. Perhaps, I am a goal-oriented person and I find chatting with friends just for the sake of keeping contacts is a waste of time and energy. I don’t like spending time chatting with friends over the phone and that saves a lot of time and money, too.
Really good analogy! I like how your writing also flows quite nicely as you read, and you're right when people don't take care of a friendship, it won't last.
Walking down the hallways every day, it’s hard not to notice the people I once befriended but have drifted away. That guy who sat next to me in the fifth grade. That girl that who endured Chinese summer school with me in the seventh grade. That boy who struggled through biology with me in the tenth grade. We pass without a “hello,” a wave, or any form of acknowledgement. Their empty glances and apathetic stares as we stroll past one another often strike me as insensitive and heartless, but I know the truth about our impassive interactions. Time has passed. They have forgotten me, so they treat me as another stranger in their lives. I fear the culprit that dissipated my past friendships will recur in my current ones, burning the bridge of friendship I have built with others. However, time will pass just as certain as I will lose my friendships.
In Cast Away, the protagonist, Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks), survives a plane crash and finds himself stranded on a deserted island. He finds comfort in a volley ball and personifies it because he cannot bear the loneliness anymore. Noland names the volleyball Wilson, paints a face on it, and even converses with it; he essentially forges a friendship with humanized Wilson. He does so not because he wants to be entertained or because he’s crazy, but for the sole reason anyone else seeks friendship: he needs it. To be human and civilized is to establish and maintain a bond with another person, even if that person has been conjured from an inflated ball. Noland doesn’t want to lose his identity as the primitive lifestyle he adopts to survive gradually transforms him. His friendship with Wilson reminds him of the kind, optimistic individual he is and gives him one of many reasons to stay alive. Similar to the companionship Noland has, the friendships we hold help shape our identities; without them, we slowly forget who we are. Those connections remind us that there are people who accept us with our flaws and merits.
Friendships form and fall apart all the time. They keep me from the bitter feelings of loneliness and depression. With these bonds, I know my identity. So, I will suffer the inevitable dilapidated friendships. I will endure the pain of seeing former friends and never talking to them. I will take a leap of faith in trusting someone, just for the sake of feeling accepted for who I am. Spotting some of the people I used to call “friend,” I feel disappointed in our broken connections, but a bit more gratified that we were indeed once friends.
It started in the classroom, then at the lunch table, and it continued on to spread into my life. No, I did not expect her friendship nor was I looking for it; it just happened. Now after many years her infectious friendship has stayed with me in the shape of support and trust. One of the most enjoyable piece of our friendship is our inside jokes. I love how whenever the joke comes about only we laugh and only we know. It is our joke and not anyone else’s.
Distance plays a big part in friendships. I, naïve and young, believed that we could be friends forever until I was six feet under. The unexpected happened and he moved away. Time passed and we’ve become different people due to our environment and we can’t possibly go back to the way it was. Now I get green-eyed jealous when I hear of friendships that have lasted since elementary school years. Hectic schedules these days cause conflicts in my life which lessen the time period I get to spend with friends. Lesson learned, now even in the smallest cracks of free time I spend my moments with my friends.
I believe, making a person important to me is a bet, just like people buying lottery tickets and colleges evaluating the admission applications. However, it is not just a normal daily bet between friends, it is the bet that can last a life-time if you make the right decision. Making someone important to you requires a time-consuming process of appraisals and evaluations. Personally, people who are important to me must understand me. It is not those shallow understandings when you talk about how strict the teacher is and how much stuff you have to do in order to get a satisfying grade; it is the understanding of the people, of the entire situation, of life, and mostly, of who I really am. Therefore, my family is the most important people to me.
A popular scene (or situation) often seen in Hollywood actions movies depicts two main characters get stuck in an extremely dangerous situation but who still trust each other enough to hand their most vulnerable spot---backs to each other’s hand. I have always envied their courage to trust one another that he/she will get their back regardless of everything, instead of backstabbing each other when the odds turned against him/her. This kind of courage is the second quality that needs to be build up through a long period of time. Once these two qualities are developed, it is hard for me to erase your mark in my heart so as the wound you make can hardly be recovered, since there is always a danger in caring somebody too much when I know it is my heart that I cannot trust.
I liked how you portrayed friendship as a garden type relationship where it thrives depending on how much time and effort you put into it. I absolutely agree!
We all need friends. And people seek friendships for many reasons. I think one of the reasons people seek friendships is because people don’t like to be alone, no one likes to be alone and we all need someone to talk to at some point in our lives. Another reason that i can think of is people likes to find someone they can trust and talk to them openly, and share a little bit of your life with them.
People spends the time to maintain a friendship because in the end some people will be life long friends, but in other cases you will make mistakes on who you pick as friends and you will lear from them.
The presence of someone you trust makes you feel better because you know that there is someone out there that cares about you and takes the time to be with you and listen what you have to say.
i agree, we all do need to have friends because we all need people to share experiences with and to have there to help us through hard times.
Humans seek friendship in order to have a sense of belonging. Good friends are important since can make a timid person more confident. When I came to Arcadia during eighth grade, I had no friends. I sat alone during lunch and felt completely out of place, like I was in a totally different world. There was also a constant fear in me that I would never be accepted by anyone. But as the school year progressed, I found out that my fears were for naught. I eventually made friends and I felt that I belonged here. As I had more friends, I became less of an outsider and more confident.
We secure a bond of friendship with someone or a group in order to have them to back us up when we need them. They comfort us when we are sad, and laugh with us, not at us. The most painful ordeal in friendship is losing those bonds, either by death, the distance between each other or becoming enemies. Losing friendship creates a hole on our heart, one that can only be completely filled if those bonds are recreated. After we graduate, we might not see our old friends anymore, but we will meet more either in college or at work. That is why I feel that it's important to maintain those bonds through modern day technology, such as Facebook and Youtube.
Facebook can give us a false sense of intimacy. Don't be afraid to call an old friend! XD The connection you feel speaking is much more meaningful and satisfying.
Even though sometimes speaking to a friend is more meaningful, it doesn't mean that writing to a friend on Facebook will be not as much of a memory to that friend. The friend on Facebook can be in another country so that one cannot speak to his/her friend, only Facebook is the way of communication for rapid response, not including the phone.
In this post I like how you gave suggestions to stop friendships from drifting apart with the help of social media. As well as how you go into explaining how friendships make us feel like we belong and help raise are confidence in our self’s hen we feel threatened or alone.
Friends are the people one can never live without. They are important to one's life, on the other hand, they are also the hardest thing to maintain. People have friends due to various reasons; some may be social, some may be stepping stones, and some may be fun to hang out. In the reality, one can have hundreds of friends, but only a few of them are ones he or she can count on. Things change over time, at the same time friendship also changes. Most of the "friendship" only exists in the present because once people get separate from each other, the friendship would also slowly fading away as well.
I always wondering if a long life-time friendship exits. I know this girls for many years, we used to be best friend but something happened(I don't remember), and then we are no longer best friend any more. Sometimes things just happen so fast that, you don't realize till later. I think one can have a lot of friends, but I don't believe every one of your friend is the one you are closed to.
I think many people make friends because it’s just human nature to want companionship. I like having many friends around me because it’s just awkward to be around people you don’t really know. So it’s always good to have friends around. I like to make friends who are honest. Who will be there for me when the cards are on the table. It’s an added bonus if they are also funny. I love to laugh and mess around with friends. How Soon is Now by The Smiths really fits what I’m saying. In the song he sings “I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does”. I feel like he saying that he needs to have people that love him to be around him. This relates to me because I feel the same way. Friends are very important things in life and we all need them.
I see friends as something temporary in that point of your life. When I was at my old school, I have been friends with them since kindergarten to eighth grade. But when high school started, it was a changing point in our lives and we moved on. I don't talk to any of them anymore. It was as if our friendship was just a temporary thing, something that we need to survive the different points in our lives. Next year, our next changing point, I won't talk to any of my very good friends anymore. Not because I don't like them anymore, but because they were just apart of my old life, and we move on. I see newer friends in the future, and hopefully those friendships will last longer in my adult years.
Friendships are like a part of me. When they disappear or fade way, I would feel the pain in my heart as if I have lost a piece of myself. We make friends because they can help you when you need them. They make you happy when you feel alone and give you strength when you feel helpless. I believe a true friendship can be view as precious as the relationship with our family, yet sometimes they do drift away and leave us in the dark hole.
She was my best friend; the best friend I ever had since I moved to Arcadia but now, we are enemies/strangers. No one would know our “friendship” unless our old friends tell other people, yet I never figured out what had happened to us. Everything changed after the last summer of 8th grade (don’t ask me what happen because I don’t know!!!), we no longer friends and never had any nice talk ever since. I never realized our relationship would break so easily; she reminded me the phrase “the more you like, the more you hate” and we are just like that. Although we no longer treat or see each other the same way as before but I don’t feel regret that we were best friend, and I bet she would feel the same way as well. However, when I knew our friendship was gone, I didn’t cry or lost any sleep because whatever happens just let it happen. Relationship is not something you can obtain if you work hard enough, so just let it go…
We seek out friendship because it is better and more comforting to have friends than to alone. We want friends to talk to and share experiences with, rather than having to do everything alone. And we take the time and energy to maintain a friendship because now that we have made friends, we want to try and keep them because we know that having friends is better than not having any at all. So we try to maintain our friendship the best we can, to prevent going back to being all alone. And we are scared of losing our friends because loneliness doesn’t feel good, and that also helps make people depressed and sometimes even suicidal. We feel better when we have our friends there with us because we know that our friends care about us and they are people who understand us, sometimes even more than our parents.
I believe that the friends I have sought me out for the same reasons I sought them out. And I believe because my friends enjoy hanging out with me and talking to me, as I do them. And when they feel stuck in a situation, where they feel their parents wouldn’t understand or know what to do or they are just scared to tell them, depending on the situation, and that’s when they would come to me to try and help them out. I try my best to help them out because I know they would do the same for me, therefore I will always make time for my friends.
In life, there are those who stand out from the crowd. The qualities that make the person stand out the most for me is loyalty and trust. Those two make a huge difference from what makes a person important to me. In society, we strive to make connections. We take our time and energy to maintain friendships because it benefits us in the long run.
Also, the presence of having someone you trust and know you could count on is a great feeling because when you're at your all time low, you know that they're here for you no matter what happens. My friends have been there for me when times are rough and I know I can depend on them. They are definitely worth my time. We all share similar hobbies which led to us to stay adrift. I had many friends all over socal. Eventually things change and I guess I moved throughout 7 different schools which caused our friendships to stray. The one thing that threatens the friendships that I hold is moving again. Moving away will definitely break our bonds.
In this society without the help of others people will not be able to succeed. That’s why people look for friendships and relationships that can help build them up and ultimately take them to the top where we all strive to be. Yes the aide of others is required to succeed, but who you choose to aide you is also a major factor. When I look for friends I pick and choose very carefully because the types of friends I choose are the ones that will stick with me for the rest of my life. When I choose friends I analyze their behaviors and personalities with very observant eyes. I talk to people everyday and I look deeply into their actions and characters. I believe that every action has a deeper meaning even if it was only a handshake or a hug; depending on how that action is performed u can basically sum up their personality using this one gesture. When I observe someone I look for someone who is genuine, they care not what others think and they are themselves. That is the only major thing I look for, other little details are not so important so long as they are true to themselves.
The reason we seek friendship is because we need the help of others to survive, we as humans do not contain the capacity to do everything by ourselves. We spend a lot of our time picking and choosing friends because these are the people that will determine how the rest of your life goes. It is true that your future is yours to control, but really what is in a future that u have no one to share with. When you are able to be with someone you trust it gives you the feeling that you are not alone in this world and that you can accomplish great things alongside someone. We as humans are always striving to reach that point where we are not alone we are always looking for someone else to be there and help us along on this rigorous journey we call life. Once that is achieved we may accomplish this with greater haste and greater efficiency than we would ever have imagined.
Every person you meet will always have different qualities/personalities. Some people might have similar traits with others but they will never be exactly the same. I think we seek out friendships because we yearn for the happiness it brings. The presence of another person being there with you is a fulfilling emotion. When you are bored at home you wish you had someone to talk to, someone to have fun with. It makes you feel better because you know you are not alone in the world.
Throughout my life i have had several “best friends” or close people I trust. Friends become best friends by being there for me when I need them most. As I grew up I noticed that I have drifted away from a couple of people that I use to call my “best friends”. I think it is a natural thing to drift away from friends. Eventually you grow up to be different people. Your interests and hobbies change as you get older. The way you dress, the music you listen too, and most importantly the crowd you choose to hang around. In the end everything happens for a reason people have to change and move on. I try not to think about future friendships and how they are going to turn out. For now I just go along with whatever happens.
Friendship is the foothold of a fragile heart. Like every other child, I was born in an ordinary family with enough love and joy to let me smile. But fate always changes one’s life so easily and mercilessly. In my 4th grade, my father’s business crashed together with our family and my sweetest world. I fell completely into the depression. It was not painful enough to make me cry, but I found that something was missing inside of my spirit. People stop playing with me, and I stop approaching them neither. While everything was covered dimly with gray, my best friend, the one who always stood by the side of my version, came to me. We had the same fate. We shared our experience, waited for each other after class, and went together during the way home. We support each other’s fragile heart as if seeking the missing parts from each other.
People are frail both mentally and physically. Even Gilgamesh who is incomprehensibly powerful that there is nobody but Enkidu can share that feeling. We cannot live alone without our friends’ existing. Sometimes our friends are not seeking out the same reasons I sought them, but we are seeking the parts we are missing from our friends. I came to America in my 10th grade, my best friend stay in china. There is a pacific ocean that lies between him and me, but we know, we are still looking at the same sky, and we know, we are foothold of our fragile hearts.
Think of the friends you no longer see. Have you lost any friends you wish you could recover? How did they (or you) drift away? What threatens the friendships you currently hold?
I go through some days spending hours thinking about what happened between us. People say that distance can’t separate hearts, if so, why did it separate us? Perhaps we lost innocence, and poisoned our emotions with the poor nature around us.
At times I think of how I should have scarified my dream of earning a magnificent degree from America and stayed back in where we grew up together with pain and laughter. But again she was gone; even if I had stayed it was obvious that she was no longer mine. Our friendship lost colour with her relationship. A relationship that I was against and a love she was blinded with. We judged with what we believed and punished each other with unfair attitude. Once, our friendship was strongly bonded that it developed jealousy and anger among our typical friends, we never realised how someday jealousy and anger could rise up between us too. As she fell in love, our friendship rope got thinner and thinner. While I was busy getting ready to move to America, she was busy spending time figuring out LOVE!
That was the first time we faced a serious issue in our friendship. While she was strongly emotional and had a deep trust in love, I was against high school relationships and never believed love. I was used to scaling every aspect of my life with forceful logic thoughts and she was used to weighting her whole life with emotions. The vase of our friendship broke and we separated miles apart… hoping that we would get back together someday. We’re both waiting for that day to come, if it comes.
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