Monday, December 12. 2011
"You can do it?" "Go for it?" That's not inspirational. It's suicidal. If Pickles tries to go for it right there, that's a dead cat.
Tom Hansen, (500) Days of Summer
If Tom had learned anything...it was that you shouldn't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence: that's all anything ever is. It took a long time, but Tom had finally learned. There are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be. He knew. He was sure of it now. Tom was...
...he was pretty sure.
The Narrator, (500) Days of Summer
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.
Ben Folds, The Luckiest
In most of our posts, we grapple with issues in a fairly straightforward manner. While some of you have started experimenting with more abstract approaches - fragments, stream-of-consciousness, poetry/prose fusions, and so on - I've never really required you to go outside the box.
But I love creative writing (I teach a summer course about it!), and I love giving my students the opportunity to try their hand at it.
To that end, I’d like you to create an original piece of writing for this thread.
Take something from one of the books we've read, supplements we've covered, or films we've watched this semester as a starting point – a setting, a character (you can invent another one based on that figure), a theme, an idea, a plot point, a particularly beautiful image or line of dialogue/prose – and run from there. (If you've read Childhood's End or watched Wall-E before, you can use those as sources as well...just put "Spoilers" a bunch of times at the top of your entry.)
The usual guidelines – use fairly school-appropriate language, edit your work, present a piece that’s substantially profound enough to reward your reader for their time, etc. – remain in place. The only new requirement is that your writing must be inspired in some way by the work you’ve read; whether this inspiration comes from the author’s language, characters, stories, or themes is entirely up to you.
You may write poetry or prose, fiction or facts (or some mix of the two).
You can write from a variety of perspectives – first-, second-, third-, hybrid, etc.
You can use dialogue.
You can establish a contemporary setting, or set it in another time and place entirely.
You can experiment with form, style, and voice; in fact, I encourage you to do so, because anyone who wants to write well – at any level – as an adult needs to seem both versatile and natural. (Plots, themes, and characters seem like they should be just as difficult to master, but you’d be surprised how easily those ideas can strike; form, style, and voice require practice, and it takes a while for these to become as organic as the stories they serve.)
Identify what you feel most like writing, and write!
At the end of your piece, please explain the source of your inspiration (for example, “Inspired by Siddhartha's father's conflicted response to his son,” or “Inspired by the desire to protect what's already ours”). If you want, you can even explain how your work relates to your inspiration: what about it inspired you to write? You may or may not choose to reveal exactly what is going on in your work, or whether what you have written is real; again, the choice is yours.
People who wish to submit anonymous work to the blog should submit their pieces via e-mail, and I’ll post them under my own name. I may want to toss in a couple short pieces of my own, so you really don't need to worry about anyone finding out who wrote post #59. (For all anyone knows, it could be me.)
For this thread, I do not care about the “length” of your work; a creative writer can pack a lot of meaning into a very small space. I’m concerned mainly with effort, content, and skill – not with the amount of writing on the page. So don’t get tied up in whether what you wrote is long or short enough; write as much as you feel you need to write in order to get your point across to the audience! Just make sure it means something, and don't stop just for the sake of stopping.
Here are some examples from years past; some threads are better than others. Please note that in some cases, this thread arose in response to specific books, and spoilers are all over the place.
This year's SFHP class's thread can be found here. A couple of them ran into trouble when they didn't use something from the course as their inspiration/starting point; your work can veer in all sorts of directions, but your idea/inspiration needs to relate to something from the curriculum - a theme from the book, a baseline question, a quote from your favorite Canto, anything. But I was grateful that so many of the students, especially in the early going, were clearly straining for greatness; these threads can quickly turn terrible if they devolve into a bunch of lazy "poems." (You know the kind - a kid writes the bare minimum with no rhythm or craft, but puts in random line breaks that are magically supposed to make the writing into poetry. Actual student poetry can be awesome, but I strongly dislike those other posts.)
The Fall 2009 Myth/Sci-Fi class's thread can be found here. (Beware - MASSIVE spoilers for Childhood's End lurk in a couple posts. I think I've flagged them all.)
The Fall 2010 SFHP class's thread can be found here.
The Spring 2010 Myth/Sci-Fi class's thread can be found here.
The Spring 2009 SFHP class's thread can be found here.
The Spring 2008 SFHP class's threads can be found here, here, and here.
This post is due at 11:59pm on Thursday, December 15th.
There are no formal length restrictions here, but you're expected to challenge yourself. You need to write well enough to impress me, and I'm willing to bet most of you will need to write more, not less, if you're trying something truly challenging.
For this post, written feedback for two of your peers is required, but more is strongly encouraged.
Finally, please remember to nominate two of your peers.
As always, write well, think well…and good luck.
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There was a man going through Hell,
With his almighty guide, poet Virgil.
His name was Dante.
The lands picante.
The journey seemed at first swell.
It wasn’t until the fifth circle,
That fallen angels began to encircle.
The ending was tense.
But a savior came hence.
The two, I’m sure, feeling quite grateful.
They soon made it to circle seven,
Where violence kept sinners from heaven.
The river of blood.
The souls trapped in wood.
This circle housed criminals and felons.
The next was the worst of three sins;
For only humans are known to give in.
The corruption of reason
Even victims are demons
For believing in something they shouldn’t.
The eighth circle is all about fraud.
Sinners stuck in deep trenches so broad.
the blind fortune-tellers
and some religious members
keep heads in positions most odd.
Behold the ninth circle of Hell,
Where the most evil of people must dwell.
The sinners used friends
And are trapped til the end
With demons controlling their shells.
At last the journey is done.
He’s reborn but still remains shunned.
He looks at the stars,
Recalls who we are.
The sky as bright as the sun.
I think limericks are awesome.
You beat timmy this time
I liked the 4th line: the land was picante.
Joseph, I actually finished already. I just didn't want to be first so I'm not going to post just yet.....
I'm kidding, lol. I only have an idea of what I'm going to do.
^Good job staying relevant guys. AHA.
Garret, I thought your post was a really cute, playful, representation of the Inferno. Everything compressed into a nice short poem, nice job!
You should post this before the inferno test, so i can actually study... Just kidding
i like how you summarize inferno to a short short poem,
and it is really interesting to read it after knowing whats going on
its like, "i know its gonna happen" and it appears in it
good job and keep it up
I like how you went in order of the circles and gave a brief description of each circle. Great brief way of summarizing the story
A thousand drops of pain
Singe the rims of my eyes
I blink past what I could
The rest left to betray
Surge forward, blind, escape!
My chest, collapsing weak
Escape thus vile sight
A portrait of horror:
My only, in Hell’s arms
A sight, truth could not bear
A scene, lies could not veil
A scar, forever stayed
My eyes, mirroring hearts:
A rough-grained, pulsing scab
Heavens weep as do I
Their tainted tears painting
The masterpiece of Hell:
Abyss and Tempest
Bloomed from his ignorance
My solitary path
He shall find my shell cold
He shall regret his sin
He shall pay lasting guilt
For his cause gained effect
The effect, a black rose
Death, upon his thorn throne
I wait to be of use…
As Lord Death’s damaged slave…
The idea came from combining first love lost from 500 Days of Summer and Gilgamesh, then the descent into hell to reflect The Inferno.
As for the structure, every line has 6 syllables only, and I love poems, especially free verse. Kind of dark and depressing, but...that's kind of how I write.
I really like the "a sight... a scene... a scar" section and how you used repetition later on to emphasize the meaning as well!
I really liked your post. The imagery was amazing and I can actually see the things in my mind.
Woah. Your poem is like on the same level with other published writers. Nice tie between the 2 books and the movie.
I really like your post and the way you described everything.
I love your poem, it's very catchy to read, and you have to look deeply into what your saying, very interesting!
SNORUMFFF. I straightened in shock. And turned around. And saw him. Riding in glory. I saw Chiron. SNORUMFFF. He leaned in closer. His gaze met mine. Disappointment. I lowered my bow. He eyed my target. And my arrow. Missed.
“Speak.” He said. Coldly. Unlike the realm.
I tried to explain:
“I am a new Centaur. Just assigned to this Circle. Not much time to practice archery. Sir.”
“Name.” He said. Deeply. Like the river.
“Equus.” He said. Slowly. Like the falling fire. “Try again. That man.” He pointed.
An unknown shade. Wading in blood. Rising. Target.
Arm pulled. String taught. Tip level. Eye steady. Target open. I fired. SNORUMFFF. Jolt. Miss. The shade stared. Awed that he was spared. Charon glared. The shade returned to the blood.
“Again.” Charon said. Firmly. Like the wood nearby.
New target. No distractions. Concentrate. Aim. Fire. And hit. Success.
The shade sank slowly back. Phlegethon received my victim. I eyed Charon. Looking for approval.
“Equus.” He said. Flatly. Like the sinners on the Burning Plain. “Well done. Keep it up.”
Gallantly. The majesty of the horse. The power of a man. The respect of a leader. Charon.
SNORUMFFF. I traced Charon’s snort. He approached another Centaur. I felt better. Maybe I was not the only newbie. I searched for another target. And listened for the new Centaur’s name. Nessus. I hoped this Nessus missed too. I thought. And fired. And missed again. Hoping Charon did not notice.
Inspired by the reputation of Chiron the Centaur, the role of Centaurs in the Inferno, and the question “what if they failed to fulfill the purpose that Dante gave them?”
I really like how with every demand that Charon made you connected it to a different natural element that can be found in The Inferno. And how you also wrote it from a different perspective. Good job!
*Note: I accidentally spelled Chiron's name "Charon" a few times. Ignore this please.
Nice use of onomatopoeia's. I could almost guess that you were going to use this prompt as an opportunity to make a story about the inferno!
Nice story, I like how you used the point of view of another on of the centaurs.
Wow, really interesting! I'm starting to wonder what the other creatures of hell go through on a daily basis.
I love how your post gives me a feeling that I'm in Equus' shoes (hooves?) - it makes me uncomfortable, like I'm the one standing in front of Chiron.
I really liked the persona you gave to Equus. Your post makes me wonder what other events could potentially occur in the other circles. Your story was really interesting!
I love the perspective you told the story in, one specific realm; and instead of the sinners' point of views, it's the realms' punishers..(?) Very interesting!
Fun read; an interesting way to see hell from another point of view. Now I’m wondering about the other side of hell besides the sinners. What are their thoughts, feelings, stories?
I actually had this idea after I finished this post:
"Confessions of a Minotaur"
I wonder how he felt after letting Virgil and Dante go by...
I like the use of onomatopoeia in your story. It is interesting to see how you transformed yourself into a centaur.
I find your style of writing really attracts me.
this story is really interesting
keep it on
David, i always love reading your posts because you always find a way to make them creative!
i really enjoy reading the last paragraph, good conclusion
this is like the longest post! However, it's good, i really like the way you relate it to your personal experience.
Your first person narrative was great. I enjoys seeing your view about how the centaurs are treated and not the sinners. Overall very interesting.
Your post is very unique because it gives readers an insider from the centaurs' perspectives, and it was very creative
I really like how you made a scene within the story! Really cool idea!!
Great post. I liked how you incorporated the perspective of the centaurs and what happens if they make mistakes. Great job.
Stop being so creative. You're making me jealous!
Haha, I'm also loving your use of sentence fragments.
I liked how you asked a question that most people wouldn't think of asking, you showed a different view than most people normally see when reading the Inferno.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s this’? It’s my name.”
“Huh? Oh… Oh. Okay. Yeah, sorry.”
I stared again at the name on our marriage certificate.
“Jane Doe”? who is this? I thought I was marrying “Amber Goldberg”, but… she’s not Amber.
I don’t understand.
For the past three years, I have been dating Amber Goldberg, and I am going to marry her. But the girl in front of me claims she’s Jane Doe, not Amber Goldberg, and I have dated her the past three years.
I don’t understand.
I dug up a photograph of Amber and I from two years ago. “2009, with Amber.” Who is she? I’ve never seen that girl before in my life.
I don’t understand.
“Remember that girl we called Bambi? The one I went out with for a while?”
“Yeah, I remember. What, you guys broke up or something?”
“When did we start dating?”
“I was still a sophomore in college, so… three years ago?”
“What’s her name?”
“Her name. Bambi’s real name.”
“I don’t know! How should I? We all called her Bambi, like you told us to.”
I don’t understand.
“We’re getting married, aren’t we?”
“Why, of course! What’s wrong, honey?”
“And you’re Jane Doe.”
“Yes, I’m Jane Doe, your fiancee. And you’re Jack Deere.”
I don't understand. But I’m Jack Deere, and I’m marrying Jane Doe.
On the Christmas Eve of 2008, Jack Deere and Amber Goldberg began their relationship.
A year later, on the Christmas Eve of 2009, Jack Deere proposed to Amber Goldberg, and gave her an engagement ring.
February 14th of the same year, Jack Deere and Amber Goldberg experienced a car crash. The former survived, and the latter did not.
Two months later, on April 1st, 2009, Jack Deere left the hospital, and began his relationship with Jane Doe.
On the Christmas Eve of 2011, Jack Deere will take Jane Doe to his lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, till death them do part.
Inspired by the theme of how we handle loss and grief, as explored through (500) Days of Summer, The Epic of Gilgamesh, and Like Water.
Wow, this post is amazing. It was cute in a somber sort of way. I loved that his name was Jack Deere, like a male version of "Jane Doe". Keep up the great work!
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for noticing the meaning behind Jack's name. There's also another meaning to the name "Jane Doe"; people who like mystery novels/crime investigation TV shows might know. Thanks again for the feedback!
This story is cute. Sad but cute, I think it's cute because he still remembers his first true love Amber Goldberg
I didn't intend it to be cute (horrifying or sad, maybe), but when you put it that way, I suppose it is. Thank you for your feedback!
hmm... i don't really understand what happened in the end.
Jack's fiancee (Amber) died, and Jack, due to injury/psychological damage/self-defense, recognizes Jane Doe as "Amber Goldberg" instead, thereby refusing to acknowledge the fact that Amber is gone.
Jane takes advantage of the situation, and marries Jack as "Bambi" (a nickname "Amber Goldberg" had).
I don't know if this would clarify - hope that makes sense now. Sorry it was confusing!
I loved reading this so much. It kind of reminded me of the movie Memento a little bit! Really good job.
I went and read the synopsis for Memento - it sounds pretty cool! I love films like Shutter Island, that makes you think. I think I'll watch it when I can!
I'm very glad you liked it. Thanks for your feedback!
I liked reading your post it was really interesting in a weird way.
I'm glad it interested you in a weird way (I'm guessing that's a good thing) & thanks for your comment!
I always enjoy reading your posts! great job asaka
Sweet! Thanks, Sandra - I'll try to keep it up/improve. Thanks for your feedback!
It's sort of confusing when i first read it. But i found it interesting later on.
Sorry it was confusing! If you read the reply I made to Tiffany's comment, it might make more sense. Thanks for your feedback!
The light glimmers endlessly at the water
reflecting a face that is upon it
The day goes by, getting hotter and hotter
as I lay here alone.
The trees, oh so far away from me
my arm cannot extend long enough
to reach it, to reach he.
But who is this "he?"
The faint memory I have distants us
farther, becoming blurrier.
I clutch my chest, remembering what was of us.
I don't remember anything.
"That is because..." he says.
Because of what?
Please tell me. I'm sorry that
I don't remember anything.
Hair so soft as a Pomeranian blows
gently by the wind onto my cheek.
Did you have a dog? One that follows
you around all day?
I don't remember anything.
I don't remember the time we
sat under the tree, staring
at the flowers blooming or how we
cried together when times were tough.
I just don't remember anything.
A smile and a hand. Your hand.
Your smile. Your smile.
It made my heart drop knowing
you were hiding the pain.
if I am wrong about your pain.
I don't remember anything.
The sound of water I hear.
A lake I assume. Are you over there?
Sitting at the edge, your fear
grows stronger as i come closer.
Is that what happened?
Correct me if I'm wrong.
I don't remember anything.
The sound of your heartbeat
was loud enough that i could hear it.
You looked down at your feet
in the water, crying.
How do i comfort you so
that you won't feel alone?
Why can't i go
to where you are sitting and smile, telling you everything will be ok?
I stand far away behind you
hoping you'll turn around and
notice me waving at you.
But you never looked back as you walked forward.
My lungs cried in agony as
I screamed your name. You
never looked back. A second has
passed, but you still never looked back.
Wait, come back
Why are you leaving me?
Why are you...
As i lay here alone,
i start to remember everything.
The tears that were trapped back then
pour out endlessly as i wrap
my fingers around the grass beneath me.
that I had forgotten about you
that I couldn't help you.
I remember now.
I'm so sorry.
ah jeez. i meant to press the preview button before submitting... forgot to add that this was inspired by the lonliness Gilgamesh felt after Enkidu died.
Your poem is beautiful. It reminded me of a song by Tsukiko Amano, "Koe (Voice)", in which she sings about a person she's lost, but grieves over the fact that she begins to forget things about that person. I think it's a fear people share, even if they haven't experienced it yet.
Oh dude, wow this is beautiful. ^ I like the way you told it, like it was happening right there and now. And it kinda feels like a dream.
Wierd because I can kinda relate to the story.
Your poem has a nice flow to it. The part about not remembering the person made me sad, but at the end I’m glad that the speaker regains back memory. I do not want to forget those who I have lost.
Your writing style and theme really worked well together, good job!
The light anew, the sun shown through the mystery of his history
Giving light to the darkened soul, to know what is right is only a small toll
Recalling his adventures to such awe, remembering everything he saw.
The fear of seeing the towers of fire, steering to where the stars were higher
His heart felt the jolt, and his mentor sees those who revolt.
The beast grows wild with no restrains, has a feast until you hold his reins
Taking death he uses a spur, with that we can concur.
The sight of broken dead, would invite dread to his head
Instinct and intellect balanced equally, but at great loss emotionally.
The core in mind left the floor of flames behind
It would be a breeze, so long as he didn’t freeze.
The destination was known, but divination was not his tone
A sin to refrain, like the supernova’s fin to abstain.
The pain to see, was a strain to be
To look upon whole worlds and peoples thrown, our history has grown
As our faith alters, the mystery begins to falter.
Connecting 'The Inferno', 'The Star', and 'Into the Inferno' quotes and the journey through finding oneself also found in Gilgamesh.
Sally: “HI! I’m Sally and you are?”
Brandon: “Brandon Corey the Third and I’m five!”
Sally: “I just turned five last week! And nice to meet you Brandon. Are you new here?”
Brandon: “Yep! Just moved here today!”
Sally: “Well I have to go now, but it’s was a pleasure to meet you.”
Brandon: “You talk funny…”
Sally: “Hey Brandon would you like to play house with me?”
Brandon: “Ew, why would I wanna play house with yooou? Girls have cooties!”
Sally: “No we do not!”
Sally: “I don’t like you anymore...you’re mean!”
Brandon: “Well I hate you too!”
Brandon: “I’m sorry Sally, I didn’t mean that. You’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I love you!”
Sally: “You’re my best friend too Brandon.”
Clunk. Clunk Sally goes to open her window
Sally: “Brandon what are you doing here? It’s 2 in the morning”
Brandon: “Let’s go do something.”
Sally: “Brandon. I’m grounded, I can’t leave.”
Brandon: “That’s why I’m here to rescue you.”
Sally: “I’m not sneaking out.”
Brandon: “I brought you a snow cone.”
Sally: “I’m not sneaking out.”
Brandon: “Come on, I didn’t sneak out of my house just for you to say no.”
Sally: “Fine, Give me a second.”
Sally: “Where are we going?”
Brandon: “You’ll see.”
He takes her by the arm and leads her to her backyard.
Sally: “We’re going to my backyard?...What kind of adventure is this?”
Brandon: “A candle lit dinner semi sneaking out adventure. Sally you’ve been my best friend since we were 5. I loved you since day one and I always will. You’re the girl I want to marry and take care of when we get old.”
Sally: “But we’re only 16.”
Brandon: “I can wait, I will marry you one day.”
Brandon and Sally lost touch when they went their separate ways for college. After 7 years, they bump into each other.
Sally: “…Brandon Corey the Third is that you? It’s been awhile, how have you been?”
Brandon: “I’ve been pretty good, just got transferred here for my job. Do you live around here?”
Sally: “I do. I love it here in New York. A lot different than Alabama.”
Brandon: “I actually went back last spring to visit my parents. Remember our old hide out at the park?”
Sally: “Yeah, what about it.”
Brandon: “It’s still there.”
Sally: “For real” But we haven’t been there in like 15 years.”
Brandon: “It’s a little out of shape but looks the same as how we left it 15 years ago.”
Sally: “I guess some things never change huh.”
Brandon: “I guess so. And I see that you’re married.”
Sally: “I actually just got married last month and you?”
Brandon: “Still single, still waiting…I mean for the right girl.”
Sally: “Haha, well good luck with that! I actually have to leave now but it was nice seeing you. Maybe we can meet up for a snow cone or something. You know...just like old times.”
Brandon: “Yeah of course! Oh wait!…we didn’t exchange numbers!”
I was inspired by 500 days of summer, Dante and Beatrice’s relationship and the example Mr. Feraco gave us for our Blog 8: How to win friends and influence people about walking the girl he liked home in the rain and how after 15 years they still talk.
I read to age 16, and I thought, "Aww, what cute story, but kinda impossible... but cute." But I realized I wasn't done yet o_o and then it got kinda sad...
"brandon corey the third," haha. Simple story, I enjoyed reading it
I also enjoyed reading the story. Poor Brandon Corey the third. It's so cute how they were childhood friends then boyfriend girlfriend.
I love your story, especially the part when you were describing Age 16. I was touched by Brandon’s statement when he said “I can wait, I will marry you one day.” Despite Brandon’s determination to wait for Sally, he was unable to realize his dream of marrying his love.
I like the story, it is very interesting.
it looks like those stories i would look up online, except it is right in front of me so i dont have to actually search stories
i really enjoyed reading this, and keep it up
"What just happened?"
It's all my fault.
"I don't know."
It's all your fault.
You better be.
"I love you."
I really do.
"I love you too."
No I don't.
"I don't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either."
Yes I do.
"Let's try to fix this."
I need you.
There was never anything between us, what is there to fix?
"I don't understand."
Why isn't this working?
"It's not gonna work, we both know that."
I don't care if you feel the same, I just want to get out.
"Goodbye, I'll never forget you."
I'll never get over her.
Inspired by 500 Days of Summer and class discussions about love and relationships.
I like the structure of this poem and i think that you did a great job.
I liked that it was short, simple, and still packed a lot of emotion. I thought it was cute, too.
Great composition of words vs thoughts. All too true sometimes. Simple but powerful.
I like how your use of dialogue showed that relationships can be confusing and complicated. Relationships may or may not work out.
I love how your writing packs so much emotion and thought in this such a simple, clean way. I've heard that girls have more tendency to try to "suggest" things and not directly say what they mean, and I feel that this is a very realistic depiction of these kind of behaviors - awesome post!
I can feel the emotion coming from your words. I'm reminded of the scene in 500 Days of Summer which contrasts Tom's expectations vs. reality
Enjoyed the contrasts between the thoughts/feelings and what the person really says; also liked the structure and use of dialogue.
I like how you constructed this poem. It was interesting to read.
Short, simple, and provides a theme! Good job Daniel!
Short and simple. I also liked how you were able to creatively put in the perspectives of both parties of a relationship.
I really liked your post because it had so much meaning in such few words!
I like the way you composed it.. Good contrast, simple and short! clean and neat!
really enjoy reading the conversation verses their real thoughts!
“I love her but there are so many components as to why we can’t be together.”
“I have never seen you happier, Dante. I think you should fight for her. I can see she is slipping out of your hands. She is slipping faster then butter sliding down a hot skillet. I predict you’ll never get over it. I know you love Beatrice and you know you love her.”
“She’s marrying someone else. There’s nothing I can do anymore.”
People know you’ve been hurt by someone else
People can tell by the way you carry yourself
But if you are healthier
Here’s what you should do
You should forget Beatrice
You loved and you lost
It’s not your funeral you should enjoy the rest of life
You have fun if you want to
Don’t deny it for yourself
But you know that you have to live life
My only wish is that you die healed
Care more about women who isn’t Beatrice she’s from the past
Take it easy boy get over her at last
If only you can do then I’ll be glad
There might have been a time when you loved her
I know you want to cry all hours of the night
I know it gets it hard but boy you need to get over it
There you go
Wondering what’s going on in your mind
It must be hard to be that kind
Everything is adding up
You’ve been through hell and back
Fortunately with good luck
Inspired by Dante’s burning passion for Beatrice and I wrote the poem about Dante’s friend helping him get over Beatrice.
Cute, u reminded me of our lovely "Mary".
good one, I like it!
From your posting, I can relate to Dante’s feeling of emptiness when you stated,” I know you want to cry all hours of the night. I know it gets it hard but boy you need to get over it”. This can happen to anyone who is falling out the relationship or has lost the one he/she loves.
His soul left the Earth
His friend, his brother remains
The lonely King weeps
I smile my stupid grin that always made her laugh
But instead she shakes her head and looks down
Dread floods my thoughts
“What did I do?”
I panic, not sure what to do
I give up, I leave sure that I have lost her
I feel a tap, there she is smiling
“It’s all good” I think
The crack is there, I just ignore it
We are so young but we are never the same
“Has my moment come and passed?
I never had the nerve to ask.”
Billy Talent, Surrender
I brushed my hand through my hair
Start of a new year
Haunted by summers past
I see her walking my way
“Hey” the words escape my lips
She walks by never looking up
“Did I do something to lose her?”
My best friend is gone, my question unanswered
“I left my best friends,
Or did the just leave me?”
Billy Talent, Fallen Leaves
I had never dated before
Neither had she
It was new to us
She had huge expectations
I failed to live up to them
She never knew me
I had my reasons for being distant
She never cared
“And I am cold
Yes I’m cold
But not as cold as you are.”
Franz Ferdinand, Walk Away
An empty house stands before me
I feel tears building up
They refuse to fall
I know she is gone
She hurt me and left
So why am I here?
What am I looking for?
She took what was not hers
“And you, you’ve gone to far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine.”
Mumford & Sons, Roll Away Your Stone
I see your house filled with strangers
The empty husk of your life here is all I have left
The years go by, but the pain does not fade
Your name fades from my mind
The voice I used to love is gone
Your face is etched into my memory
I long to see you
Did you really keep your promise?
Or am I long forgotten
“I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real.”
Johnny Cash, Hurt
No One Like Her
The girl who could make anyone smile
I was able to make happy
What happened to those days?
You grew tired of me
Your usually happy eyes told the sad truth
“There’s blood on the wall
‘Cause he couldn’t face the truth”
Friend From Afar
Chance brought us together
You know me better than most
We trust each other
Words are what connect us
But we cannot embrace
Separate worlds we live in
So far away you are
My love can never reach you
“My body tells me no
But I won’t quit
Cause I want more.”
Young The Giant, My Body
The haiku is inspired by the death of Enkidu in Gilgamesh. The free verse poems are inspired by (500) Days of Summer and The Inferno.
Nice post. I was thinking about writing a Haiku, but I couldn't fit everything I wanted to say in it so I just decided to do some sort of free verse poem.
You know that saying, "The one that got away"? Yeah...I've got three of them
We met online (silly, I know),
bonded over music.
I told him my name,
he said that he'd remember it always.
We talked all night,
until I had to leave.
With an agreement to get back on the next day,
we said our goodbyes.
The next day, I logged back on,
excited to speak to him.
He wasn't there.
I logged online every day,
hoping to see him again.
He wasn't there.
His name eventually left my mind.
But I never forgot him.
He said he'd remember me always,
but I guess he lied.
We met at Cal. State Long Beach,
at a theatre competition.
I was lying down by myself on a blanket.
Closing my eyes,
I relaxed into my own little world.
I felt the grass move and opened my eyes,
and there he was, lying down across from me.
He asked me why I was alone,
and I explained that all my friends went off.
We had a long conversation that day,
about acting and how it helps us.
The day soon ended, and it was time to leave.
He gave me a hug, and we said our goodbyes.
It was three years ago, and I never forgot our conversation.
We've seen each other around,
but never spoke.
I went to get an early dinner,
and found him sitting and chatting with a friend.
We became fast friends.
He came to me one day,
asking if I wanted to help him with a movie.
We spent all but two days of Spring Break together.
We would talk every day after that,
and would IM every night, till past midnight.
He came to see me on the last day of school,
to my surprise and excitement.
We met one day during Summer vacation,
and I saw him for a couple of minutes in late September.
That was it.
I just found out,
he moved in with his girlfriend.
I'm over it now,
he's just another one that got away.
A couple of people and I do mobile adoptions.
We bring dogs to a pet supply store in Monrovia.
Through the time I've been there,
I have become close with everybody who works at the store.
One day, I was alone at our table,
Immersed in re-reading my favorite manga.
When a voice broke through my thoughts,
"What are you reading?"
I looked up to see a new face donning the employee uniform.
"Oh, this really cool manga. It's about this guy who finds this notebook
called a Deathnote and realizes that the person whose name is written
in the notebook will die. He uses it and eventually becomes corrupted with power"
"Wow, that sounds really cool!"
The store was then swarmed with customers needing pet supplies.
He left to help them out, and I continued into another volume of Death Note.
A half hour later,
a voice broke through my thoughts again,
"Ok, tell me! I HAVE to know!
Who was the first person written down in the Deathnote?!"
I laughed and explained to him the complex plot,
with funny descriptions of characters.
"I'm David", he said.
I introduced myself and we went off on our ways.
I'm doing another mobile adoption this weekend,
and I'm excited at the chance of seeing the new employee again.
And, as cheesy as this sounds,
I'm not letting this one get away.
---This is based on the idea of lost romance (i.e. Dante/500 Days of Summer) and the last section is based on Tom meeting Autumn and the hopefulness that comes with it. Also based on personal experiences
Hm, interesting approach. I like the idea of stating the 1st 3 in the past and the 4th one in the present/dialogue. I liked at the end how you were gunna take action and not let them "get away," haha. Good luck.
i like how Death Note Was kind of the thing that brought you two together. I love Death Note!
“Next!” a man with a broken crown and a long devilish tail snapped.
I felt heavy. Where am I? My body felt heavy and lethargic. My eyes were blurred. I was in a dream. I swear I was.
I was in a line moving up to a gate. I could make out a faint image of a very beautiful woman, with long, beautiful, silk-golden hair standing in front of me.
My eyes drooped as I stared up at the man’s dented crown, at the rusted crystals that the crown had them engraved in. Behind him stood two guards smaller than the man himself, and a gate, and beyond it were endless, echoing screams and roars in endless, burning flames.
The beautiful woman faced the man, who flipped through an enormous book. “Aphrodite. Goddess of love, beauty, and sexuality,” the man with a tail stated in choppy sentences. “Committed lust towards many. Committed adultery with various gods and men, including Ares and Dionysus, even after submitting to marriage with Hephaestus,” He thrashed his bull-tail around several times before whipping it around its body twice. “Sentenced to Second Circle. Guards!”
“Yes, Minos,” they obeyed simultaneously. The guards escorted Aphrodite through the gate and flung her over the cliff, down the pit of fire.
“Next!” the man yelled.
I was next. Sweat trickled down my forehead; the burning was not helping. He flipped through the same giant book, as he did for Aphrodite.
“Gilgamesh. Claims to be 2/3-god, 1/3-man. Committed violence against various gods, men, and creatures," the man started, "including Humbaba and Enkidu.”
Enkidu. I suddenly woke up. My heart sank. Where is Enkidu?
“Also committed – “
“Is Enkidu here?” I interrupted. “Where is Enkidu?”
The man paused for a few seconds.
“Where is Enkidu?!” I raised my voice this time. I was beginning to feel a mix of rage and sadness.
“I am not to disclose anything about anyone to anyone. Continuing on. Gilgamesh. Committed wrath towards gods and man. Committed adultery with many unmarried women. Committed pride. Committed lust for life and immortality.”
Subconsciously, I tried to lash out at the man. I looked down, my hands bound together, and my feet chained to the ground for that moment. I kept fighting to escape the chains. “Enkidu!” I roared.
The man whipped his tail around his body twice, the same amount he did for Aphrodite. “Guards. Take him.”
The chains on my feet unbound but my hands still bound, as the two guards grabbed both my arms, seized the gate open, and in a matter of seconds, I was flying down the burning pit of fire. I thought the fall would never end, but I smacked the cold hard ground in shorter than I expected.
My body ached as I grunted in pain. The feeling of stinging needles piercing began to overcome my whole body. My feet became numb; then my legs, my abdomen, my upper body. Soon the numbness suffocated my whole body, as rain began to pound the cave.
Other people were spread out on the rocky ground, agonizing in pain, including the goddess of love. I managed to mutter a “Where are we?”
Before I could continue, a big gust of tornado swept me as well as the others up off the ground.
And the eternal torment begins.
Inspired by Dante's Inferno, Gilgamesh, and Greek Myths. And Death.
I thought it was really interesting that you did a crossover with Gilgamesh and Dante. I remember reading Dante and wondering where Gilgamesh would end up. Your post told a very interesting story :")
Love the crossover idea. Nice touch with the mention of Enkidu. I'm a bit curious as to why you put Gilgamesh in Circle Two if he committed so many other sins? (And where might Enkidu be..?)
Uhh.. Oh right, because his lust was the biggest thing emphasized I guess, like on earth..? And I don't really know where Enkidu is... couldn't think of anything.
Maybe in Circle Two because of the prostitute? He never really did much wrong; perhaps violence? Or something like ticking off the gods...
Awesome idea and interesting plot! Instantly caught my attention. I also say, though, that your style and writing definitely is also a strong factor in making your work so good.
I loved it, and I'd definitely love to read a sequel, too! Like Hercules rescuing Theseus, Enkidu embarks on a mission to save his friend... Or vise versa.
I really enjoyed reading this mix-mash with two books and your thoughts. It is attracting and entertaining. good job and keep it on (:
This is a interesting view point. Especially how you punished the Gods also. I would not have thought about where the Gods would have ended up in hell. Very nice.
Hooked me write away and delivered on its promise of an interesting story. Great job.
It's pretty interesting that you put Gilgamesh in Hell and name a sin of him.
I loved your interpretation of where Gilgamesh would go if he were to be in Dante's hell. I would personally put him lower in the 5th circle. But still this was a great way to merge both stories together.
700 years into the future…
Starlight, star bright
Up above, we see the night
Down low we see below
Human waste all in sight
Gone are the humans,
Left on Earth is ruins,
Result of science, technology,
Rusty robot Wall-e,
Lives through Hell-ish dangers,
All through Earth’s four seasons,
For what reason,
Boxy and lonely, Wall-e,
Created for once purpose-
Clean-up our trash
From extinguisher to panache
For years alone,
Only friend, a cockroach,
Develops a “glitch”,
A personality easy to approach,
A VHS of ‘Hello Dolly’,
“Put on your Sunday Clothes”,
Was just so lovely,
Beauty from above,
EVE here on a mission,
Hostility first, attacking Wall-e,
With time blooms love,
Eva on ‘stand-by’,
In a shell,
How will Wall-e
Axiom, safe ship
Aboard rests generations,
Fat, lardy, never
Moving fingers or hips,
Distorted visions of Earth,
All living in lies,
Humans continue on,
Sleeping, eating, living
Red-light for Auto
Plant sent Earthbound
Homebound we go,
Upon arrival, we see acres,
Empty land, dirtied land,
Time to make this our homeland,
Kiss of life,
Continuation of love-life,
Story of our decay,
To our dismay,
Story of environment,
Story of space, not present,
But of Future,
A Story of Love,
Power of Love.
Inspired by the themes of Wall-E
I read the first stanza, and I was like, "This is Kelsey, isn't it." I knew it! (I was going to write about wall-e, too, but I changed it. hah) Wow, this was like a whole outline of the movie.
I really liked your word choice! It really helps if people have seen Wall-E, but still!
You did a great job on using Wall-E in a poem. I tried and I could not. Gratz
I really like how you describe the story by using poem. It's amazing.
“I don’t know why you torture yourself like this, Amy.”
“I’m so terribly sorry if my pain is inconveniencing you, Rose.” She sighed deeply. “I’m sorry,” she said, genuinely this time. “I can’t help it. I know going through this stuff is only going to make me feel worse, but I feel like… like I need it.”
“You need to make yourself feel worse?”
“No, I need… I don’t know. I just... I need to understand.”
Rose stayed silent as Amy pulled out an old shoebox from under her desk and placed it on the bed beside her. She lifted the lid and pulled out a few folded pieces of paper. She unfolded one of them and began to read it.
“May 8th,” Amy whispered when she was finished with the first letter, folding it up and moving it to the side. She unfolded the second one and read it before whispering again. “May 28th.” She closed the second one and opened a third.
June 7th. July 16th. August 9th. September 22nd.
“Amy, I don’t think this is recommended.”
“I’m fine,” Amy replied, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, her nose bright red.
“No, you’re not.”
October 18th. November 10th. December 25th. January 6th. February 14th.
“Amy, dear, I really think you should stop.”
“I can’t stop now,” she said, her voice quivering.
“Here, why don’t we put the box away and listen to your iPod or something, okay?” Rose walked over to Amy’s desk and connected her iPod to her speakers. Amy didn’t say anything but kept the box and all of its wrinkled papers where they were, spread out on her bed.
Amy didn’t respond. Rose sat down next to her. A few feet away, an old tune floated out of the speakers and into the room. 'I made myself a promise that I’d soon forget we'd ever met.'
March 4th. Amy folded it up and pulled out the last paper while the music continued. '‘Cause I’m so blue and lonely, I forgot to remember to forget.' This one she intended to read aloud in full.
“‘Dear Amy,’” she began, shaking. Rose put a comforting arm around her and she had to stop. She dropped the paper and covered her face with her hands. Rose picked it up for her and read it silently.
Rose folded the letter and put it back in the box.
Inspired by the theme of lost love and (500) Days of Summer.
The reader can really get a strong sense of the pain Amy is experiencing. Pretty relatable too, for those who have experienced heartbreak. Good piece!
It's a chilly day, the impending snowfall dampening your spirits. Horns honk along the busy street and the stream of people ceaselessly keep on walking. You rub your hands together in vain and watch the wisps of your breathing vanish in front of you. You wish you were home already.
As you keep on walking you suddenly stop; something had caught your eye. Next to you lay a heap of clothes. "That's weird, " you think to yourself, and you look closer. It moved. You notice the empty can next to it save for a few copper coins.
What do you do?
E. Help him, since you are just that much of a nice soul.
F. Leave him be: you don't have that much on yourself anyway; it won't help him.
R. Steal the scarf lying conveniently on the top; you are cold—and you want to read what happens.
C You quickly grasp the handle and pull with all your might, praying to God that it's unlocked. The door swings wide open as you fall back, surprised at the unexpected ease in which it opened. You step in and slam the door behind you.
You can only hear your own breathing: there seems to be no movement outside. You try to see what’s in the room but it’s pitch black. So you take a step forward.
You yelp as you fall. You quickly turn to try and grasp a ledge but something cuts you off: the stolen scarf around your neck got caught on something. You hang there, asphyxiated.
E Your pocket suddenly seems heavier than a moment ago. You sigh and take out a piece of paper and place it in the can. You hope for the best and walk away.
Awhile later, you happen upon another heap of clothes. You sigh again and reach into your pocket. There's nothing inside.
G. You walk away: there's nothing you can do.
N. You give him your jacket: there's nothing better for a frosty night.
F Awhile later, you happen upon another heap of clothes. You feel bad again and decide to help him. You reach inside your pocket and find a hole in the bottom. You curse out loud, inciting a few heads to turn.
G. You walk away: there's nothing you can do.
T. You storm off, mad that life sucks.
G You trudge on, the cold biting your every step. Home sweet home. You finally settle down and pull over whatever clothing and sheets you can find.
You lie there on your cardboard box, sheets of old newspaper wrapped all around you, the snow starting to settle on this heap of clothes.
The first homeless man reaches into his can. He sees the green piece of paper.
On there it says:
N Feeling sorry, you leave the poor soul to his suffering. You keep on walking through the night, snow starting to fall gently. It's going to be a long night.
After awhile, something catches your eye. A shiny object lies on the side of the road. You can't seem to make out what it is, so you head closer to see. It's stuck inside the muck and doesn't seem likely to come out.
G. You give up and walk away: it's cold and you just want to get home.
U. You continue trying to excavate it: curiosity only kills cats right?
P You quickly grasp the handle and pull with all your might, praying to God that it's unlocked. It’s locked. You hear heavy footsteps right behind you. You say your final prayers and ask for forgiveness.
The voice behind you exclaims, “Hey, I just wanted to invite you to my homeless shelter. It seems like you really need it.”
R You stop for one second, terror riding at your heels. You quickly glance back, desperately hoping that it is gone. Your heart quickens a step as the shadow somehow seems to have crept closer. And you run, the darkness of the alley closing in on you. You freeze: dead end.
What divine retribution dictated this?
The footsteps seem ominously slower, every step spanning an eternity in your mind. But alas, as Fortune flaunts her capricious whims around, you spot a door—two doors in fact, hidden amongst the dreadful shadows.
Which door do you take?
C. The one on the right.
P. The one on the left.
U You hear someone approaching, marching with purpose. You almost got it. You've cleaned off part of the muck and notice a word on it.
You accidentally get shoved from behind. You careen into the street. You hear a loud screeching and horns blaring.
T You don’t watch where you are going. You accidentally bump into someone. You hear a loud screeching and horns blaring. A body lies still on the street. You stand still in horror.
Inspired by Lyndon Y.’s brilliantly entertaining post from SFHP, cruel divinity of the gods (Gilgamesh), and Dante’s ingeniously symbolic punishments.
HAHA Hanning at first, this was really confusing. But i just read it like a goosebumps book and it was really good!
Yea.. I was confused at first as well. I really had no clue what was going on until Daniel told me to read it like a Goosebumps book.
aww....It is kinda hard for me to understand..... what is the capital letters in front?
Very creative approach to this assignment. I thoroughly enjoyed going through every scenario.
OK I didn't want to just blatantly put it out there but obviously I didn't just choose my favorite letters or something. At the end of most of the scenarios, there is an unfinished word which you FILL IN with the letters of the path you chose.
I don't think that really constitutes as spoiler. It's a hint more than anything.
Anyway, it must have taken you forever to finish this. Your scenarios are so creative and connected.
Wow this was very creative, I enjoyed reading this and I loved how you provided different scenarios and consequences to actions, and linked them altogether.
I want to ask the same question, what is the capital letters in front of each section? But anyway, I really like your creative and format.
Oh, this is absolutely brilliant. How long did it take you to make it? Great job!
@Jacky and Sabrina, the regular capital letters indicate different choices you can make, and the bolded capital letters indicate the result of those choices, like a Choose Your Own Adventure type of thing. For example, if, for the first question, you wanted to pick choice E., "help him, since you are just that much of a nice soul," then you would go down to where the bolded E is ["Your pocket suddenly seems heavier..."] and continue making choices from there until you reach the end of the story.
Haha long enough. Thanks. And Thanks for the explanation.
Very creative. I didn't get it at first but I eventually got it. I like reading it good job.
The day is the same
The sky is the same
Time is the same
My life is the same
Nothing is different, except that you are gone
I want to smile and pretend nothing happened
I keep hopeful just to continue on
I wish you were here
Day and night I am all alone thinking and thinking about you
I long to see you again
I have a constant routine of remembering your name
There is no one to blame
Today is the same again
By now, I should have moved on
I still cannot let go
No matter what, I wish you were here
I keep wishing that you were here
I am alone just thinking and thinking about you
I keep missing you
I have a constant routine to remember your name
I will not forget you
Without you I am blue
I hold that to be true
Again, the sky and day is the same
As each day passes, I feel like I am suffering
What can I do?
I cannot change fate
I lost you
You were my soul mate
I wish you were here
I did not get the chance to tell you goodbye
I am still under the same sky
I just let you go
Now it is too late
I cannot escape fate
The only change is that you are gone
This is inspired by the theme of losing someone in the epic of Gilgamesh.
I love your writing. =) I can't imagine if I lose my two best friends.
Remembering the past
Knowing the future
Not seeing the present
These are not the only presents death and hell have given me
They took my shape
They took my form
Now I'm jus a fat blob
Those who are alive can't remember me
Those who are dead can't remeber me
Now I see a familiar face
The face of dante
He should remember me
Please oh please remember me
I the forgotten Ciacco
Inspire by Ciacco from the Inferno. Using the pain he of being forgotten.
Great job on showing Ciacco's voice. I liked how you made your writing flow.
I really like how you use "Please oh please remember me" for expressing his feeling.
She seemed so happy,
But sometimes, she wasn’t.
Late at night, I receive calls
She needs my help.
I try, I really do
But she doesn’t want help.
She wants comfort, not advice,
So I give her nothing more.
Eventually, she goes to college
He stays behind.
Her love stays strong,
His “love” stretches thin with distance
I comfort her
And swallow my “I told you so”
Why didn’t you warn me?
Why didn’t you care?
I did, I tried
I couldn’t make you listen.
So we haven’t talked in months.
I lost my best friend.
If love blinds you so,
I want none of it.
Connect with 500 Days of Summer; in both, a relationship crashes and burns because one side wasn’t able to see it going down.
So, we have agreed that I owe you a comment. So here it is.
Great poem discussing the way girls act in a relationship.(sometimes) I like the way you described his "love stretch[ing] thin with distance."
I love your writing and it is so true!!! Sometimes...my friend does that and she wouldn't accept my advises =(
How sad! Someone is alone again. Honestly, this kind of things does happen in our real life. Good work!
I loved your post. It was structured well and I think I can relate to it to a certain degree. When we're so blinded we tend to mute everything we don't to hear/see. Great job.
The night sky filled with countless stars shinning in the darkness
You are the brightest of all that shines through with amazing glows
How I wish to grab you from the sky and possess you as mine
I often wonder why you are so close you are so far
Your presence excites me as you casually walk by my side
Your aura showers me with unimaginable thrills and comforts
Your smile made my heart beat ever so fast that I can not contain myself
It must be love,
It gotta be love.
I have often wondered what will become of my destiny
I finally found the answer after you entered my life
Would you be my friend, would you be my love
Would you feel the same?
Each time we grow closer as we get to know more about each other
Ironically, the closeness we share builds an invisible wall between us
You bring me the joy but only to be saddened by your avoidance of my love
Am I just another one of your “close friend”?
You will never understand the pain that I feel about your “love”
It was so great yet it hurt so much
Sure, you are confessing your love to me
Somehow I doubt if it is real
So I decide to say goodbye to your love
To save my broken heart
As time goes by and season changes
Painful memories of the past begin to heal
Once I became Mrs. Thompson
Life begins as a new chapter
Your love is packed with the letter you wrote me years ago
Which I placed on the shelves and covered with thick dust
I no longer seek comfort in reading your words
You are the memory that will forever be part of my life
Although we won’t cross our paths again
For I have found the one who loves me for who I am
I was inspired by 500 days of summer and Dante’s desire of love toward Beatrice.
I love the way you relate love toward visuals. Your writing is deep and touching.
I like the way you describe love. You create a really vivid image of love by describing your feelings.
You love her, then me, then on to the next.
You’re a wind that never ceases; could you please just, stop?
You have left me with
A thirst unable to be quenched
An emptiness unable to be filled
A part gone missing unable to be found
A tear unable to be mended.
Like life losing color,
And I’m falling deeper into this hole everyday.
I hope your next is driven by the same immoderate passion
and that each relationship you have
will blow over in an instant.
I’m done; getting off your spinning roller coaster
to a place of
I will climb until I need you no more
and I will look down at you from atop this hill.
I can’t control it.
But know, you meant something to me.
For a little while,
I’m leaving my footprint
on many people.
Why, you ask?
I want to be remembered.
I really, honestly don’t care if
you hate me. Makes no difference
as long as you, and all the rest,
don’t forget me.
Inspired by the feeling of loss in both Gilgamesh and “Like Water” by Elizabeth Spires. Allusions to Dante’s Inferno, including Circle 2 and Ciacco's final request, are present.
I really like the emotion that comes across through your message. Your writing seems very powerful.
Such a beautiful writing, I was caught by the feelings in it, cannot stop reading it
I really enjoy reading your post, very beautiful writing.
Woww...I really LOVE this poem! Your structure of it, when to make a new line, the rhythm of the poem I guess? Your emotions really jumped out, and I really feel how you were feeling. I especially liked the line "I’m done; getting off your spinning roller coaster/ to a place of / brighter days."
This poem makes me want to kick the guy's butt!
Since second grade, Leo is always my best friend. We do everything together.
Leo: Hey I’m Leo
Leo: Be my friend?
Leo: Come over?
Middle of third grade
Leo: Come over?
Leo: Come over?
Middle of fourth grade
Leo: Come over?
Leo: My turn to go to your house?
Fifth grade and a quarter
Me: Just come over.
Leo: Finally something you say besides sure on the phone.
Middle of fifth grade
Me: Just come over.
Leo: I’m going to concert today.
Me: you better have my tickets too.
Middle of sixth grade
Leo: You got my ticket right?
Leo: I’m coming over.
Leo: Open your door.
Few years passed. I came to the U.S. and haven’t talked to him. Then I found him on facebook. Last summer, I went back.
Me: Remember me?
Him: Is it Kevin, haven’t seen you in a while. You’re at America right? When are you coming back?
Me: Open your door.
Mario S. Beneath the Star 2010, for sharing friendship
500 Days of Summer, how close friends stick together.
Great job with the structure! You illustrated your growing friendship well.
I really liked how your structure remained consistent throughout the post. It's awesome how you can still be so connected with your friends after being disconnected for so many years.
Somewhere out in space
A miracular event is taking place
One only seen every fifty years
But will soon leave them in tears
The crew of a space came to observe
What happens is a punishment he does not deserve
Then all of a sudden, a malfunction
One second to then next an immediate action
All seems well, when a bolt is released
Captain Benjamin Sisko is now deceased
They mourn his loss, but soon move on
Months later Jake see his father appear at dawn
Time has passed, without of shred of hope
Jake begins to fall down a slippery slope
Until one night, Sisko returns
He tells his son all his concerns
They find out his temporal signature is out of place
And will soon return to deep space
“Son” he says “follow your dreams”
“Do not worry about me, worry about your esteem”
And so he did, he became a writer
Well published and looked like his future was getting brighter
In his home his father reappeared
And just like that he disappeared
“This time” Jake says “I will save him”
However his hopes looked grim
He dedicated his life resolve this
He sacrificed everything just to reminisce
One last try, fifty years from the first event
Success! Or so it seems as time is bent
They end up in a white void, and his father pleads
“Son I think it is time to concede”
Jake returns to normalcy and vows to find a solution
He realizes he needs to fix the time dilution
He takes a dose waiting for his father to appear
Sisko reappears as expected, knowing his son’s time is near
“Dad” he says “soon all will return to normal”
“Things will no longer be abnormal”
“This is your second chance”
”Make sure to dodge the white lance”
Back on the spaceship, he quickly remembers his son’s advice
He pushes his son and doges the device
Everything is right again, except one part
He knows that his son will always have a great heart
Inspired by Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - "The Visitor"
At first I thought this was going to be an ending you made up but as I read I realized it was basically just the episode in poem format. I enjoyed reading it a lot.
Kitty: “Hi Birdie.” said Kitty. As soon as his eyes set upon Birdie's, he knew that something was wrong. He put one hand over Birdie's shoulder and said, “What's wrong?”
Birdie: Birdie hugged Kitty tightly and began to sob. “Doggie and I had a fight. I think he's cheating on me with Platypus von Duckenberg.”
Kitty: “Are you serious? When did this happen?” asked Kitty. His face started to turn red with rage because he couldn't believe that Doggie could do something this horrible to Birdie.
Birdie: “I heard it from Snakey yesterday.” ACHOO! Birdie blew her nose into a handkerchief and resumed speaking. “I'm not sure what to do now. I love Doggie, but at the same time I can't ever be sure if I can trust him ever again.”
Kitty: “If he hurt you like this, I don't think he has the right to even speak to you. Birdie, I know it might hurt now, but you can get over it eventually. Cut your ties with him and start anew because honestly, there are better people out there; people who will treat you respectfully and would never betray your trust in them.”
Birdie: “But.... I think I'm still in love with him.... I can't really just leave him all of a sudden right? I mean, I should at least give him a chance to explain himself.” Birdie plopped down next to Kitty and put her head on his shoulder.
Kitty: “He doesn't have to explain himself. Snakey told you everything that you need to know. Kitty, I keep telling you that you deserve better than this. Why do you always go back to him? Why can't you tell that he's just using you.”
Birdie: “You're probably right Kitty, but how should I end this? I don't want to hurt his feelings, yet I don't want to sugarcoat my own feelings. I feel as if our past is binding us together. We had so much fun back then.”
Kitty: You're right. Let him know how you feel and make sure you hide nothing from it. Don't let your memories of the past cloud your statements.
Kitty remembers some of the events that transpired a few years back. Kitty and Birdie were the best of friends. They talked to each other a lot and they always talked to each other about their problems. One day, Birdie fell head over heels for a guy named Doggie and that was when things started changing. Kitty couldn't talk to Birdie as much as he wanted to anymore. She was always either too busy or too occupied with things concerning her own life or Doggie. Everyday he would see them in the halls at school and everyday, there would be an awkward exchange of hand waves and a smile.
One memory in particular always makes his blood boil. Every time he thinks of this moment, he can't understand why Birdie would be with this person. He saw Doggie and Birdie arguing at lunch one day and all of sudden, Doggie slapped Birdie. Kitty was about to go confront Doggie, but he saw Birdie hold her hand out and he knew that she didn't want him being involved. He was confused... very confused. How could she love him if he treats her that way.
Birdie: “I know what I'm going to do now Kitty. Thank you for all your help.” Birdie stood up and was about to leave but was abruptly stopped by Kitty.
Kitty: “Birdie, what are you going to do after this? Are you going to be okay?”
Birdie: “I don't know Kitty. I don't feel as if I'll ever be able to recover from this or fall in love ever again, but I can at least pray that everything works out. I'll talk to you tomorrow Kitty, bye.” Birdie gave Kitty a hug and left.
Kitty took out a piece of paper from his pocket and when he opened it, tears started dripping down. Kitty wanted to give this to Birdie because it shows how he feels about her. As the tears fell on the paper, the ink started to smear and he could barely make out what it had said before, but he started to recite it.
As the rain falls, I
stand here thinking of you
trying not to cry.
I have thought this through and through
and every time I want to die
I stand here under the rain thinking of you.
As he looked up to see Birdie walking away, Kitty whispers under his breath
Kitty: Can't you see Birdie... I've always loved you and I always will.
Inspired by 500 Days of Summer: How love can be great at first, but it eventually starts degenerating. The magic starts fading(does not apply to everybody).
Garrett's picture of animals that he gave me(That's where I got the names... By the way, they are human.)
Gilgamesh: The idea of losing someone or something and how it affects people.
I totally get the story, although you use some funny names! Good job!
I aim to please. Glad you guys enjoyed it. And yea... I saw the drawing of animals that Garrett gave me and I used it for the names.
The light was bright; it outshined even the Sun. For a brief moment I sat there, blind. When I regained my sight, all I saw on the screen was a fierce violet light. As the light dimmed, I spotted a tiny, grotesque object floating on the spot where the star used to be. This was the supernova that grandfather often talked about.
Decades have passed since the last sighting of this supernova. At that time, the video was mere natural phenomenon that was light-years away from us. No one took in any consideration of the danger our society was approaching. And now, the entire planet is in the sate of panic after the discovery of a pattern of these supernovas.
We are next, and there is no escape.
Alpha has searched for the last year thousands of different ways to solve this problem. There is no hope.
The government recommended each of us to find one item that Alpha will bring to Decang, the tenth planet from the Sun, where hopefully the supernova will not reach. They will be placed in the Valet, where it can escape the tragedy that will be us. These items will be our hope for others to find and to learn about our civilization.
Along with this journal is my wife’s painting of our children on the beach. This is our memory that we want to preserve.
I write this to warn those who find this document, to prepare for the worst. Your Solar System could be next. Heed my warning and don’t let this phenomenon bring an end to your civilization.
My final request to those who find this letter in the Valet is to speak of our civilization and of our culture. Please let others know of our existence in this galaxy we all share. We are Tacan.
This is inspired by the magnificent story, The Star, the mysterious planet, Vatican, that the main character discovered, and the final request made by Ciacco in the third Circle of Inferno.
I never thought of relating The Star to Ciacco's request. Great job
I remember the first day we met.
It was the first day of school, and you sat right behind me in Algebra II. For story-telling’s sake, let’s call her Jane. Jane was one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. The only problem was that I had no idea how to start a conversation. The first few days were awkward, but I remember stretching a lot in that class, hoping to knock something off your desk to spark some sort of interaction. The first time you spoke to me was during the second week; you asked to see my homework. I turned around and saw your piercing brown eyes, handed you my homework, and quickly turned around. I didn’t want to embarrass myself.
It took me about 2 months to get used to your presence behind me. My ears stopped getting red whenever I entered the class and I stopped stuttering. I was gaining confidence, but still didn’t know what to say. Let me rephrase that. I could talk to others in front of you, but when those big, brown eyes were focused on me, my mouth dried up like a desert. Anything I said to you ended up sounding like gibberish; “Uhm… well… you sh…should transfer the variable” should provide a sufficient description of how awkward I was when we spoke.
Jane wasn’t the best at math. Admittedly, I’m not much better, but I milked this advantage as much as possible.
“Hey Jane! Are you ready for the test tomorrow?” I asked with a big smile on my face.
“Hey Daniel.” She said with a frown. I knew this wouldn’t be good. “I’m SO not ready. I don’t get anything we learned this chapter and the semester ends next week!”
Honestly, I’ve been doing pretty well this chapter, but wasn’t brave enough to offer my help. Luckily, my teacher came to the rescue.
“You know, Jane… Daniel has been doing pretty well this chapter. I think he can help you study.” Mrs. C said. In my mind I was thanking god over and over. I had an excuse to take her out.
“REALLY? Daniel REALLY? Will you help me?” She asked. There was no way I could say no to the her puppy dog eyes. I didn’t want to either.
“Of course I will!” I said with a big grin. It was the first time I’d been genuinely happy for a long time.
Where would sophomores go? Luckily for me, I didn’t have to ask my parents to take us because I have the best cousin in the world. My cousin was a year ahead of me, and treated me like a brother. She took me home everyday and drove me and my friends places.
We eventually settled down at Starbucks. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to talk to her for extended periods of time since I was super nervous, so we hit the books right away. It was honestly hard to teach her. In the past week, I’ve been getting pretty comfortable talking to her, but of course, that was in class. Here, it was just her and I.
After a while, we both stopped working. My guess would be that the combination of sugar and caffeine kept us from sitting still and focusing.
“You know what I realized? You sat in front of me all semester, but I know nothing about you outside of your math skills. Why is that?” She questions. I start sweating bullets immediately. My thumbs twiddle over and over. I was nervous. I was scared. I guess it was now or never.
“Go ahead and ask me any question you want. I’ll answer it as honestly as I can.” I say, feigning confidence in myself. In reality, I was scared. Beyond belief.
“What’s your favorite color?” she says, immediately as I finish my previous statement. Wow this girl really gets to the point.
“Blue.” I said without hesitation. I was getting my confidence back.
The rest of the story was basically an interrogation. She asked me questions, I would answer them. I started testing my limits, and started asking her questions in return.
3 days passed.
“Oh my god Daniel, I’m so scared!” she says. She really needs that A.
“Haha, you’ll do fine!” I say, trying to boost her confidence. I was a bit skeptical as well, because we did spend a fair amount of time fooling around at Starbucks.
When I got my test back, I got a 92%, and I was happy. Actually, I was more than happy. Behind me, she was smiling and showed me her test grade. She got a 91%.
“WE DID IT!” she screams and gives me a bear hug. We were still in class, so it was pretty embarrassing, but our teacher didn’t seem to mind.
Before every test, we started meeting up and studying together. Of course, after the hard work, we had the usual chit-chats. Luckily, she was in my class the next semester as well. We had the same teacher, and she let us pick our seats. Naturally, we sat next to each other.
It took me another 4 weeks to muster up enough courage to ask her to be my girlfriend.
“Will you be my girlfriend, Jane?” I asked, unsure. It was like the first day I met her, all over again. My hands were shaking and I was sweating profusely. I prayed she didn’t notice. I never knew that those 5 words, “will you be my girlfriend” would be so hard to ask. I had no confidence.
“Yes.” She says sincerely. My face lit up with joy. I know that sounds cliché, but it really did. The sweat glistened with the sunlight and my face literally lit up. It’s a pretty gross description, but it’s accurate.
The next few months were the best few months of my life. Name anything, and I’m sure we did it together. We went to a million places together. Disneyland, Six flags, the mall… you name it and I’m sure we’ve been there.
I guess we just weren’t meant to be. We started having fights over the most trivial things. Things were falling apart, and I didn’t know how I could fix it. It got to the point that we were having a small fight everyday. So we did what any fighting couple would do. We split. It happened a little something like this:
“Hey, can we talk?” she asks with a serious face. I knew this wasn’t good. Whenever a girl asks if we can talk, it’s like a death sentence.
“Yeah, sure.” I reply. Of course, I tried to avoid the talk for as long as possible. I prayed for a distraction.
“I think… that we should take a break.” Jane says, fighting her tears back.
“What do you mean?” I ask, shocked at her statement.
“I mean… we should stop seeing each other. I can’t stand the fighting anymore.” She retorts. I had to agree. The fighting had gotten extreme and consistent. “I’m sorry, Daniel.” She says, walking away from me. And that’s how it ends I guess. No farewells exchanged.
I hate how we’ve become strangers. We used to know each other so well, and now it’s like I don’t even know her name anymore. Whenever I wave to her in the halls, she just looks away. It doesn’t look like it bothers me, but it does. It makes me sad, just thinking about the memories we had, that she chose to forget.
Inspired by 500 days of Summer(How the start of relationships are great but most of them start to fade) and Gilgamesh's loss of a loved one.
Uhm, the last sentence is supposed to be: "It makes me sad, just thinking about the memories we had... the memories that she chose to forget."
I really liked this post Daniel! It was really interesting and detailed, so I finished reading it really quick.
At first glance, i was like, im never gonna read this post since it is so long
but i did anyway
I like your story, and i can somehow relate to it
it's pretty interesting,
good work and keep it up (:
This was a nice read. I can actually relate to how you feel.
The story is really detailed and I like your descriptions!
This read like a movie. Wonderful details and dialogue that throws you right into the middle of "Jane" and Daniel. Knowing the inevitable, I still enjoyed viewing the build-up and sudden break-up. Great post.
Man... Don’t laugh at me! This is pretty good, I mean seriously.
I stand at a crossroads, staring down a few separate paths
One, I hope, will lead to greatness
One, I hope, will turn my dreams into reality.
Maybe I’ll be a musician, an actor, a doctor, a lawyer,
Something where I will impact people’s lives.
But a nagging thought always remains,
How will people look at me after I pass?
With respect? Hate? Love?
I could care less how, as long as I am remembered.
I want to reach out, to touch people’s lives,
To inspire people, save people, protect people.
To be that person people turn to when they are in need,
That shoulder to lean on, that hand to hold,
Wait, I take that all back.
I just wish for you.
For you to be that hand I hold,
For my shoulder to be the one you lean on,
For me to be the one you turn to when you’re in need.
So I may see that smile again.
Because all I want is you.
Inspired by Ciacco’s wish to be remembered and Tom Hansen from (500) Days of Summer
These are all stanzas in the form of songs in which I wrote:
This represents when Gilgamesh places the task of finding eternal life upon himself. It seems as though he is doubted by all who he comes by.
Things that matter most to me,
People just don't seem to understand
Things I try so hard to achieve
It seems like they just don't believe, in me
How do I succeed
This is how Gilgamesh felt after the loss of his beloved friend Enkidu.
You can't stop me from falling down
Why oh why do you make me frown
Someones got to help me right now
Before I truly shut down
This was inspired by the 500 days of summer.
Your my light
You and me
Together we'll be
Throughout the galaxy
You complete me
This is a song by DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE which I love. I had to add this in because I believe the lyrics fit perfectly with the way Dante feels toward Beatrice.
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
EON’s spherical white LAJU shot through the earth’s atmosphere and hit the rural terrain with a thud, sending shockwaves through the earth’s crust. A door popped open, and EON hopped out, activated the blasters on his giant pink wings and flew off to earth’s most populous city.
His landing was magnificent; he hovered slowly over the city and summoned his friend, JARVA, the city magistrate, to come and admire his new V2 suit with its upgraded weapons system before floating to the ground.
EON and JARVA shook hands and exchanged “hello dear comrades.”
“It’s good to see you again EON!” JARVA smiled. “What brings you here?”
“I finally have a prototype of the version two suit,” EON preened proudly. “Finally, after 50 years of development, I can show it to you at last.” He fired off his boosters again and started to fly, darting about and twisting into a tornado so fierce it sucked up an old warehouse nearby.
JARVA’s smile turned to a look of awe – “More! Show me more!” He cried.
EON flew straight up and then shot straight back down to earth at top speed. Just as he was about to hit the ground, he somersaulted, and sped across the earth horizontally, chopping down trees with a sharp blade he drew from the back of his suit. He landed in front of JARVA with a flourish.
JARVA asked, “How can you maneuver so quickly in that suit?”
EON answered, “Unlike the first version when we had to make manual commands, we command this computer has a new type of processor that allows us to control it with our brains.”
EON and JARVA had known each other for over ten years even though EON lived on CELL, a space colony established by earthlings in the year 2039 when the population of earth was simply too much for the planet to sustain. CELL, comprised of 18 stations, a rectangular shape in two rows of nine, existed in a much thinner atmosphere with much lighter gravitation forces than earth so the suits, essentially exoskeletons with masks resembling the human inhabitant inside, were a necessity for CELL’s inhabitants to move around from one station to next.
JARVA thought to himself how ironic it was that CELL was so much more advanced technologically than earth even though its inhabitants had been forced to leave earth.
Suddenly JARVA was shaken out of his deep thoughts by a feeling of intense heat such as he had never felt before. A light as bright as the sun blinded him.
He was confused. “What’s happening???!!” bellowed. He thought it might be the end of the world.
When the light faded away, he saw a mask bouncing on the ground ten meters away from him. His heart sank when he realized that the mask belonged to EON and the new suit was obliterated into pieces. A crowd quickly formed. “Magistrate JARVA!” the people cried, “What’s going on?! Is CELL rebelling against us?!”
“Holy Plums! I think his computer malfunctioned and he self-destructed.” JARVA’s face tensed up with concern as he silently contemplated earth’s future.
In the meantime, the command center in cell erupted in activity. Lights flashed on the large computer screen and a voice sounded, “Tracking on Unit 403 Lost! Tracking on Unit 403 Lost!” KAI, CELL’s Secretary of War resounded, “Did I hear unit 403? That must be EON! Has earth destroyed him? We will make the earthlings pay. Either they send us OVER 9,000 tons of free materials or we shall declare war on them!”
KAI pulled out his transmitter and relayed the message. JARVA received it, his hand trembling as he flipped it over to read it.
“Oh no! We don’t have so many materials on earth.” He messaged back to KAI telling him that EON had self-destructed and the earthlings had committed no wrongdoing.
It was too late though. KAI, overcome with rage, mobilized his elite forces and dispatched them off to earth.
Afterward: The CELL forces obliterated earth’s environment, leaving it as if no life form had ever existed on the planet. CELL made off with a huge supply of earth’s resources, moving off forever to conquer other galaxies.
Inspiration – I was inspired by Wall-E, wondering how earth came to be such a wasteland. I wanted to create a possible introduction to Wall-E and came up with this. I was also inspired a little bit by US history to show how one colony broke off from the motherland, eventually becoming more powerful and dominant.
A creative story based off Wall-E. I enjoyed the read and the ending is a twist.
I liked the futuristic approach you took toward this assignment. I also liked the ending and the "suit" references.
I love the sci-fi elements in your story and how you came up with your own explanation for the deserted Earth we see in Wall-E. Nice job!
Hope abandoned in this human breast
Wasted the life with which I was blessed
My soul, lost and never to return home
Screams and weeps for the punishment to come
An eternity to think of the mistakes that I’ve made
Played over in my mind like the loop of a tape
All of the things that I’ve loved and ruined
Swept away like dust caught in the wind
Surrounded by others but completely alone
With those who like me never atoned
For their sins, or did but at a time too late
Whatever the case we suffer the same fate
Feces and blood stains cover my skin
Now I’m as horrid outside as I am within
And the tears and the pain can’t wash it away
These stains on my skin are here to stay
And I know when Judgment Day does come
I will stand in front of God and his Son
And I will weep and plead like a child age seven
For just consideration of passage to Heaven
But still I'm not hopeful; I know it won’t work
God cannot forgive the things I did on Earth
But the pain is so great, so I’ll scream without choice
For one last opportunity at a chance to rejoice
This is based off of Dante’s Inferno (a damned soul from the first-person) and also a quote from Alexander Pope’s, “An Essay on Man.” The line about the tape was taken from a song I was listening to while writing this.
I think you did a good job a telling the story of a condemned soul.
You portrayed the dammed soul well and gives a good feeling of what being in hell would feel like.
“Jonny, hmm… I like you” said Emily.
“Sorry, I already have someone else in my heart” Jonny replied.
Emily came to school with a big smile on her face, happily as if she had got accepted by the private school she wanted to go.
“He finally said yes to me! All my efforts have paid off!!” She could not stop smiling
“Congratulation, hope he treats you well”
I really felt happy for her, but somewhere deep in my heart felt sort of depressed. After that day, Emily spent more time with Jonny and less time with me. Slowly I realized I missed her more than I ever did. But I never told her, I did not want her to felt I tried to stop her from dating other people.
“Brian, Jonny is such a jerk, I never want to talk to him again” she hanged up the phone
I felt frustrated, and bit of hatred. I knew Jonny was not the best for her, why was I stupid enough to let him hurt her?? I wished I had told her to let Jonny go, so she could continue on to her own life. Since that day, Emily stopped talking to others as if everyone in the world had betrayed her. She stopped trusting others; I could hardly see a smile on her face.
“I can give her hope no matter what it takes. I want to see her smile again” I told myself.
I called her and tried to take her out, but she rejected all my invitations. I did not know how badly she was hurt, but I believed someday I would achieve success.
“Hmmm… Emily you want to go to movies afterschool? I heard it is very funny” I knew she had always wanted to watch this movie, so I figured she might accept.
“hmmm….no I already watched it” She left.
My chance just slipped away, and then I thought of something interested. Wasn’t I in the position where Emily was when she tried to date Jonny? I felt more cheerful as I thought that way, because I knew time after time she would start to open her mind again.
“Brian, want to grab some dinner tonight” She stopped me
“Of course, anytime you want” I was so happy that I could not think of anything else to reply.
We had a long talk that night, from how Jonny hurt her to how she did not want to accept me before she could forget Jonny. She told me she could never forget him, but she wanted to continue on to her life. She invited me to dinner because she wanted someone to give her advices.
“There are plenty of good men out there, I am sure you can find one that is best for you” I was waiting to see her reaction.
“Thanks, I am sure I can find someone who is thousands times better than that guy(Jonny)” She said as her tears fell off.
I knew she was still hurt. Sadly, things did not go as I expected. We were still friends nothing more. But I was glad the Emily I knew was back……..
inspired by complicated relationship in 500 days of summer, strong bonds between Enkidu and Gilgamesh in Gilgamesh
She loves me,
She loves me not?
You change your mind so much that,
I can never win like on a Vegas slot.
I don’t know what to,
Or even what to say.
But it is alright,
It is okay.
You played me once,
But never again.
“Do you want to go out?
“Just tell me when.”
“Okay I will see you on Tuesday at eight,”
“Oh this will be fun, this will be great.”
“Hey glad you came, just give me one second.”
“That is my new girlfriend, the girl I just beckoned.”
“Oh that is you best friend, you don’t say.”
“How does it feel to get to get played?”
Inspired by think of what Tom should do to Summer in 500 Days of Summer.
Mi quite enjoyed this and would love to see that really happen
GO TEAM TOM!!
Great post =) I loved how short yet I could sense the emotion into it and how you seemed to capture Tom's character very well
Dante and Virgil walk along the path in the 5th pouch of the 8th circle. A demon flys past and almost hits Dante into the giant pit of tar. Virgil tells him to hide behind a rock while he tries to negotiate a safe passage. While Dante sits there another demon comes and knocks him into the pit....
I was falling in slow motion towards the pit. I felt the steam grow hotter and hotter as a grew closer and closer. When I finally hit all I could feel is pain. The tar instantly burned off the exposed flesh I had and slowly ate away my clothing. After about 30 seconds I felt myself rising up out of the pit of despair. A demon using its pitchfork carries my limb body towards my guide. Virgil then says that I am going to die and will not be able to see the women in the light. That I must endure the punishments for my sins. Tears fall from my eyes and I ask him why he cannot save me. My guide tells me it is not Gods will for him to do that. The world starts to slowly fade around me. Then blackness. When I awake I am in front of Minos and his tail wraps around once, twice........
I awake once again and I am back in the 5th pouch of the 8th circle. Behind the rock that my guide told me to stand behind. It was just a dream. My master waves towards me signaling that we may venture forth, into more woe.
Inspired by Dante and Virgil's journey in the 8th circle
Carnige I really like how you worked a dream sequence in your story, it was effective to show the first persons point of view in hell but it also had a very trippy feeling to it, which I liked as well. The dream in combination with the shifting settings really creates a sense of disorientation, I applaud you in your story.
Venturing to the center of hell,
with a mind filled with doubt.
Only time will tell,
if he will stay devout.
Viewing the punishment for others deeds,
he sees the torment that they face.
Learning what he needs,
to help the world embrace.
Souls tortured for all of time,
with all hope out of sight.
Sinners that committed a crime,
wishing that they would have done what's right.
Cast out of his own city,
forced to wait and see.
Living in a world without pity,
where nobody wants to agree.
His work will live on forever,
to teach us the right way.
We can do whatever,
as long as it doesn't take eternity to pay.
The inspiration for the poem came the challenge that awaits Dante and the work that he needs to do.
Will I make a difference in the world? Forgotten or hated, which should be picked?
I would rather be leaving with no shame, better than being hated,
Name, what is a name?
A name to be remembered,
A name to be lost.
Let forgettable be forgettable,
Don’t want to leave with embarrassment.
In the end, after time goes by'
The people I once knew.
Become strangers anew.
My failures are forgotten.
My slate is clean.
However, don’t want to be forgotten by you.
Everything about you is so pure and perfect to me
All I want is to know that you have me in your mind.
Because who I love is you.
inspired by Ciaco in the inferno, be forgotten or hated
you really complemented Ciacco's final request with this poem
sorry, that was my draft: look at this one
Name, what is a name?
A name to be rememberedOr a name to be lost.
I have sacrificed muchI tossed away my life.
After time goes by
The people I once knew
Become strangers anew
My failures are forgottenMy successes are forgotten
My slate is clean
I am born again
I accept this fate
You have the appearance of perfection
Your beauty had blinded me
From my eyes I saw an unbreakable bond
Everything about you is so pure and perfect to me
All I want is to know that you have me in your mind.
Because who I love is you.
I really enjoyed both drafts. It's great that you combined both Ciacco's request with the idea of love.
I used to think
people are born to be alone,
until you come to me.
Memories that we share,
joyful and gloomy days.
You come to my life when others leave.
You light me up when I am sunk in the darkness.
You stand by me when the danger approaches.
You are another me in this world.
why do you have to go?
why do you have to leave?
Is that the way with friends?
My dear friend,
I am lost in deep grief,
I am nobody without you.
I will go anywhere,
I will do anything,
if I can bring you back.
But I know,
You will not return.
Now that I realize,
memories never die.
As I can always feel,
you are living in my heart.
Do not worry me,
I will not wander alone anymore.
I will treasure and protect others,
as what you have once done to me.
Inspired by the friendship of Gilgamesh and Enkidu.
I really like how you convey both the immense sadness that the death of a friend brings, but also how even from the grave friends can make you a better person and still make you smile from their memories. It’s hard to do both and to see it done in one poem is really awesome. J
I like the way you use simple words to express the deep friendship between Gilgamesh and Enkidu. Good job!
I like how you describe the sorrow that the death of the best friend will bring. Your poem is easy to understand.
Alone I walk through halls that once held so much love
The same path everyday
Alone I look at the room filled with our memories
Up again at-
The same four walls every night
Awake when the sun rises
But still dead on the inside
Awake when the moon is large in the sky
But still no one inside
The deafening silence is too much at times
Breaking emotions and memories- blurring the line between the two
The heartaches for love
Breaking me… I miss you
Alone I walk through halls that once held so much
The same path everyday
Alone I look at the room filled with memories
The same four walls every night…
Awake when the sun rises
But still sleeping on the inside
Awake when the moon is large in the sky
But still no one inside or out
The deafening silence is too much at times
Breaking connections and object
The heartaches for connections
If I were to take out all that you made me feel-
I wouldn’t be human
Even when your gone your still all around me
I miss you…
Even after all you did I still do
What inspired me is how the love Dante had for Beatrice still greatly influence his entire being for so long, even after she died. I know what its like to have someone mean so much and then lose them; I tried to get the point across on how much love takes us over.
Like tiny grains of sand on the beach,
That’s what we are.
Swept away by the waves, insignificant
Castles and structures are created
Moats carved deep for protection
But only offer temporary salvation
The water comes and takes everything away
You tremble as the waves of fate crash down
You have no choice, but to await your turn
when the tide reaches your sweet spot
Some travel around, some get far, while others remain in the same place
For years, unrecognized, unnoticed
Some are comfortable with it, while others squirm inside
Outside forces come daily
A constant that we have no control over
Thundered screams come from up above
The children are here.
Molded like the sand that we are
Our bodies combined and manipulated to create whatever comes to mind
Impulse, you may call it, directs our every move
Sand towers rise high and accomplishments build up
Foundations are fragile, like the sand that we are
We place value in material things and outside appearances
The base crumbles just as easily as it was set up
Everything seems so superficial and it is
Few design their castles with complexity and integrity
Everyone wants to get to the top
But no one wants to work for it.
Like the tiny grains of sand on the beach
We occupy and surround the view all the way to the horizon
What happens to the soft damp sand that reaches the bottom?
Surface sand are the stars of this story
The front cover of this magazine
They command recognition and attention,
And blanket talent and hard work
Sun kissed by the fiery circle above
Bathed in moonlight by night.
Sometimes explorers encounter the beautiful dark sand
Their discovery rewards them with strong building blocks
The experience is much more fulfilling
Who are our creators?
We exceed numbers and dominate our surroundings
Multiplied all over the world, there are no bounds
Do we have an end? When do we begin?
Others are part of a greater purpose,
And still others are shadowed throughout the duration of their existence
What is our purpose, and who is really in control?
Simple and fine, we are the tiny grains of sand on the beach.
It has simply become our excuse.
Inspired by Mr. Feraco, his analysis and teachings of the inferno, and Ciacco.
I like your attention to detail! The entire thing was very descriptive.
“I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission at this time.”
The lightning passed through with the rolling sound of the thunder at that moment.
My brain crushed and my world became soundless for seconds.
I was sunk in the sea of despair.
Disappointed, I doubted myself and my ability for the first time in my life.
Worried, what if every college I applied rejects me?
Confused, what can I do if I don’t get into the college?
Walking on the rough path, I was surrounded by darkness.
I tried to capture the light that could enlighten me.
Several voices appeared and consoled me.
“Don’t lose your hope. College is not the only choice for you.
Find the beauty of life with your heart and enjoy it.”
“There must be some colleges that will accept you. Don’t worry.
Just relax. You still have me.”
The path forward became brighter and straighter gradually.
I stop blaming myself, because at least I tried my best.
Yes, college is not the only thing that matters in my life.
My life is supposed to be much more colorful.
Life consists of uncertainties.
I should enjoy whatever it brings to me.
The confusing fog faded away as the sun rises and a beam of bright light shines on my face.
Finally, I walked out from my own entangled trap.
I witness the darkest day in the night,
and I am ready to welcome the dawn that comes after.
Inspired by Dante’s confusion toward life and his journey through hell.
I am so sorry to hear that you are rejected keep trying. I believe a good college will take you.
We may not have tomorrow, but we have today. How do I find the sadness under your warm embrace? If someday we lose each other, somewhere in the dark…
That year, this promise was written on the beach; that year, the atmosphere was filled with our smile and happiness; that year, we were laughing and playing in the ocean of youth; that year, we hand in hand put our footprints together on the beach. That year, the start of you and me, was 2007.
Without the luxury and exaggeration opening mark, Doris and I met in the most normal way. She was the transfer student to the class, sitting right beside me due to the teacher’s decision. Being the first classmate she knew, I helped her handle the difficulties and unfamiliarity. Soon, we started to become more familiar with each other. The more we discover each other, the more we got to know how much we matched. One glance, one movement that was all we needed to understand the thoughts in each other’s mind. We laughed at the same thing for the same reason; we were ready to console each other even before a tear dropped. There were no secrets between us. Every crossroad in our life, we made decisions together. Every bump in the road we fell, we managed to help each other to get back on our feet. Whether we encountered happiness or sorrow, we faced it head on. Together, we were always there for one another. Deep in our hearts, we knew that no matter what happens we will never let each other down.
After I moved away, our friendship started to fade. At first, we contacted each other through email and social networking site, such as Facebook. Since we lived in different time zones, the time we spent with each other significantly decreased. I was no longer aware of what was going on in her life, so as she. Eventually, we ran out off things to talk about. Yet, the worst thing was that our friendship was inevitable; the friendship we once cherished was corroding. I can hardly remember the day we sat on the beach side by side as best friends.
Now, we are strangers that once knew each other as best friends.
We may not have tomorrow, but we have today. How do I find the sadness under your warm embrace? If someday we lose each other, somewhere in the dark. Promise me will you remember, “How close we were.”
I really liked the ending and the overall theme about friendship. I can't count how many times I've had the feeling of losing a friend, especially since I've moved schools a couple times.
This was inspired by the friendship between Gilgamesh and Enkidu.
I lost several friends in the process of moving away. Sadly it was a time before facebook came out. There was only Myspace and that was a creepy site back then.
I really liked how you started with bold and ended with bold. It was a nice touch and wrapped up the entire story.
That is a sadness. Nonetheless, the plot is rather touching.
I loved how you began and ended it, the bold made it stand it, and because of that I wanted to read it. Good work!
“Why are you leaving?”
“Will you come back?” she asked almost pleading.
“I don’t know” the boy replied with uncertainty.
“Don’t leave” she begged.
No reply. He just turned away and kept on walking further and further until he was out of sight and out of her life.
She awakened to a warm presence next to her. She smiled starting at her lover awake waiting for her to wake up.
“Morning” she said.
“Morning” he said “did you sleep well?”
“Because you were next me” she beamed.
Her bed was cold it’s been cold for weeks. Maybe it was due to the winter cold but her winters have never been colder ever since he left. She looked at her phone hoping there was a message from him but there were none. That’s what her days consisted of these days. Waking up cold and alone while looking for anything that would remind her of him.
“Stop it” she laughed trying to prevent him from tickling her any longer.
“And what if I don’t want to?” he asked with a smirk as he resumed to tickle her.
In the midst of the tickling and flailing she hit her head.
“Ow” she said while rubbing her head.
“I’m sorry” he said worried. “I should’ve have stopped. Are you ok?” He asked trying to look at any sign of a wound.
But she pushed him and ran out of the bed sticking out her tongue.
“Hey, get back here” he yelled running after her.
She ran faster away from him not wanting to get caught until she felt a pair of arms around her waist.
“You won’t be able to get away from me that easily.” He stated.
They way he said it made her heart beat faster with each breath she took.
“I know” she said. Turning around to meet his torso her breaths getting heavier as he leaned in for a kiss.
She looked around as she walked only finding couples hugging and kissing. It was as if they were mocking her. Every time she saw a couple kiss or hug memories of him would come swarming back. She was pale. She hadn’t been taking care of herself lately. Besides going to work it was her first time going out as a regular civilian. She eventually had to leave to get necessities she had used up all of them in her house.
They walked hand in hand beaming in each others presence. They walked and walked not knowing where to go until she stopped in front of a store. It was a jewelry store that had wedding rings on display
Hugging her from behind “you want one?” he asked.
She nodded “but when the times right” she said and walked away from the store but she was stopped when he dragged her into the store.
“What are you doing?” she asked confused.
He smiled at her “What do you think I’m doing? Finding a ring for my future wife of course.”
She just stood there shocked as a blush was rising from her cheeks.
The sound of her doorbell woke her up. She went to see who it was and found none other than her best friend.
“How are you doing” the friend asked.
“Terrible” she replied.
“Look you need to get over him. He’s never going to come back”
“I know, he died” she replied quietly. “I just don’t want to forget, that’s all” she said to her friend.
Who just nodded and looked at the pitiful girl worriedly.
“Well I came to bring you food. Be sure to eat and take care of yourself alright? I’ll be back to check on you again tomorrow.” With that the friend just left the girl to be alone.
She sat there tears forming because she realized what he was and what they had is nothing but a dream. An illusion and simply fiction.
This was inspired by the loss Gilgamesh feels when he loses Enkidu.
You didn't get rid of "she beamed" part that makes me really sad.
Lush storytelling. Amazing, the emotions you evoke through your compelling writing. I loved how you illustrated their interactions. It tugged at my heart.
A bead of sweat dripped down my face as I stood in front of the massive closed gates of Dis. The heat was the least of our problems. I felt exposed not making any progress. I glanced nervously at my guide, Virgil. Beneath his confident demeanor, I could tell that it was all forced. He too was worried. His brow was glistening in Hell's red glow. Time seemed to stand still. Seconds felt like hours.
"Has anyone from the first circle every stray this far into the depths of Hell?" I asked.
"I have," Virgil solemnly replied. "I was forced to by Erichtho to go through these gates."
The air was suddenly rent with bloodcurdling screams. The sight was so frightening that I felt lightheaded. Three furies, bloodstained with snakes wound all over their bodies, cried for Medusa to come to petrify us. Virgil looked at me and urgently told me to shut my eyes or else I would never return to the would again. I slapped my hands over my face. I ignored the stinging pain. I felt Virgil's hands atop of mine. My panic subsided temporarily.
A sudden tremor shook the ground they were standing on. My eyes lit up as one would if the Calvary came in the nick of time. The Heavenly Messenger calmly walked unhindered to the door as all the creatures of Hell cowered away.
My eyes widened in awe at the majestic figure heading toward us. It evoked a scene in my mind from Tron Legacy in which Kevin Flynn strode past the programs fighting each other and pacified them just by his presence.
With a deft flick of the Messenger's hand, the gates sprang open. So, I thought to myself, no power or creature in Hell could compare to the power in the heavens above. With a renewed determination we continued on the most important journey of my life.
Entering Dis in Dante's eyes with references to modern movies such as Tron
Sup Broseph. When I think of the Heavenly Messenger, I think of some prancing fairy thing that waves wands around with golden locks of hair. Other than that, I liked the imagery you used in your post.
I could actually picture myself before the Gates of Dis. Great showing.
I really like it, and how you combined them together. It’s very creative.
Hands for a long time will gradually benumb each other,
Happy for a long time will unavoidably lose each other,
Embrace for a long time will extremely petrified each other,
Friendship for a long time will deeply accompany to each other,
Love for a long time will recklessly separate each other,
Hatred for a long time will constantly hurt each other,
Pain for a long time will subconsciously torture each other,
Free for a long time will deliberately forget each other,
Calm for a long time will casually ignore each other,
Inclusive for a long time will completely conceal emotions from each other.
Things unable to put down, the more likely to lose.
Things want to firmly grasp, the more rapidly to disappeared.
Things want to have; the more often do not belong to you.
Things want to hold; the more often has been lost.
Things more valuable to you, then more grip.
Those who want something
It tends to be at your side,but untouchable.
Gains and losses
Only the cycle of life, an adaptable attitude.
If you forget about yesterday
Today is your “present.”
No matter how much we have right now
We will lose them:
Parents, siblings, or children. Moreover, the beauty, money, and health
No matter what,
No matter how close you feel them on your hand now
Sooner or later,
You will lose.
Even though, death will take away them,
We have to treasure our current life.
To cherish yourself at this moment.
Inspired by the 500 Days of Summer, Gilgamesh, and Like Water.
Nicely done!!! Sabrina.
It's really good, and i like how you related them all together.
We sat beside each other, blindly staring up at the sky.
Searching for a sign that our love isn't a lie.
"Hey, did you meet the new girl at school yet?"
"Oh? No I haven't. What's she like?"
"Dude, she's exactly like you! She has the same taste in music as you, and she plays games as well."
"Oh boy, I can't wait to meet her!"
We looked at each other, with tears in our eyes.
Reminiscing on our past years, hoping that our love never dies.
"Hi, I'm Andy!"
"Hi, I'm (your ideal girl), haha."
"Stop moving, your earplugs keep falling outta your ear!"
"Haha, sorry. By the way, this is a wonderful song."
"Wow, you passed my level already?!"
"You noob! Learn to play the game, gosh, haha."
"Hey, are you listening to the song?"
"Sorry, I was texting my friend. By the way, this is a nice song."
"Hey, invite me to the game?"
"Sorry, I kinda feel like playing alone."
"I really like this song, how about you?"
"I bought this new game! Wanna play?"
"Sorry, I'm busy."
"Are you there?"
We tried to speak, but our words were cut short by sharp breaths.
I always thought that our love was too strong, even for death.
"Hey, I heard what happened, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I guess I just expected too much from her."
"Sorry man, everyone thought that you guys would be perfect for each other."
"Why? Because you all thought that we were similar?"
"Well, I did too."
I was inspired by Tom's thoughts on idealism, particularly, what he perceived to be the perfect girl for him. 500 Days of Summer.
Oh damn, I love this.
Nice use of juxtaposition. The dialogue is genius, evoking thought and emotion.
Great post: look forward to your next one.
I love the dialogue and how you linked the beginning with the end!
I really liked the dialogue! It hooked me in right away.
Though I tell it not to go
Though I tell it to stop
My heart keeps going toward you
It doesn’t wear out, it doesn’t decrease
why is, my love like this?
One by one
I count and count
My heart can’t even rest for a moment
It'll just become a baggage
That will be hard to control
Why can't I even throw them away?
Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool
blinded by love
just one place every day just one place
Just look at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears just won’t stop
Just only you
I only love you
Can't you just tell that to me?
Even if I hold out my hands
no matter how much I call out
You're always far from me
It'll be a love
that will become painful scars
Why can’t I erase it?
Just only you
I only love you
Inspired by Tom Hansen's feeling of loss in (500) Days of Summer.
Looking down at the little tin box, where I keep cards, letters, photos and dairy.
I picked up the scrapbook … and started flipping page by page
It has been almost 20 months now…
Photos, reminding me how much fun we had, together
I can see, I look so happy when they are around
I feel loved, when they are with me
I am supposed to go back to visit during thanksgiving,
Flying across the Pacific Ocean
Still, I got their messages through facebook, telling me about their lives
Sometimes, tears just fall when they write how much they miss me
I still remember how much grief I went through when I first had to leave them
And as time goes by, pain just slowly fades away
Time, distances, and… life
Things changes every second, every minute, every hour, every day
I still miss them
Inspired by Gilgamesh--- Friendship
Holding hands, we begin our journey to the movie theater. We smile and laugh as we describe to each other our day. At the ticket booth, I pay for her ticket, and she kisses my cheek in appreciation.
The movie theater is fairly empty, so we run to our favorite spot: third row from the top, third and fourth seat from the left. Disney's Tangled plays on the big screen. As Eugene leans in to kiss Rapunzel, she slides her hand into mine.
I walk her home. Before she goes inside, we begin holding each other under the moonlight.
"Thank you for an amazing date, Raphael."
"You deserve only the best." I smile in return.
I peck her with a kiss on the forehead. She blushes and looks into my eyes.
We share our first kiss.
Please read the above from "holding hands" to "share our first kiss".
Inspired by the struggle between expectations and reality in 500 Days of Summer. With this piece, I hope to demonstrate how expectations can, in fact, match reality. Miracles can happen. We should never abandon dreams worth fighting for.
I met you at age nine;
It was love at first sight.
I knew it was a sign,
That I met such a beauty that night.
I never stopped thinking about you;
I wanted to be your prince.
Even though I wanted that wish to come true,
I never saw you again since.
Nine years have gone by;
And you re-appeared in my life.
This time I didn't want to be shy,
I wanted to make you my wife.
I introduced myself as Jack;
And you told me your name was Jill.
I showed you poems I wrote from way back,
Expressing my love for you with my skill.
You showed me the meaning of love
And how to appreciate the beauties of life.
Love, compassion, and light are what you consist of,
My love of my life.
So I want to thank you,
For all that you've done and shown me,
Because I don't know what I would do,
If I never met someone so lovely as the sea.
Inspired by Dante's love for Beatrice and by what Enkidu has given and shown Gilgamesh.
its already 3 am, and I’m still here
writing a letter for you thinking about everything that
happened and about the errors committed in this love
how did this happen I can’t believe what she did to me
my home, my soul is Destroyed
I’m alone in this room, I’m cold, I feel Toyed
Now idk why my story ended like This
I thought it would have been Bliss
I guess Not
I just hope I don't Rot
"loved and cherished" this is the last letter I write for You
my last words for you before I let you fade Through
dear beloved forgive this failure
I want you to know I always did my Part
And although you’re leaving i will always love you and you'll always have a place in my Heart
I tried to fix the situation but you
made me feel like a worthless dog
every minute I was poisoned by your Resentment
when I see your face hate grows and I think of your Replacement
in the end you’ll only regret it my Dear
you’ll notice what
I suffered and when you return I will not be Here.
it was inspired by the "love" tom had for summer in 500 days of summer
The piercing wind whipped through my face as our helicopter fluttered in the sky, my skin flapping freely against the pressure of the wind. The pilot yelled something across the helicopter, but his words were muffled by the deafening sound of the helicopter and the passing winds. Through the thick dirty goggles dimming my vision, I could see him lip the words “DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?”
I tapped my goggles, my protective suit, and my backpack a few times to assure myself I was not missing anything. Any mistake could and would be fatal. I looked over at the other side of the door and saw the anxiety in the girl’s face. She tried to force a smile to disguise her fears and worries from me, but she could only muster up a nervous laugh. It was her first time too. I checked whether she held the proper equipment and was secured in her suit several times before I was convinced she was entirely safe. I gave the pilot thumbs up, and he gave us clearance to jump whenever we were ready.
We both stepped onto the edge, my hands clutching at the handle bars of the helicopter door. My head throbbed back and forth, sending a nauseating feeling throughout my body. My heart beat faster and louder, drowning out the noises of the helicopter. I took in shorter and quicker breaths, unable to slow the speed of the moment that passed by. I looked down at the vast unknown that separated us from reality, the eventual depressing fate promised to most relationships. If we did not plan this whole course carefully, ignoring the smallest details that introduce doubt and sorrow, we’d free-fall through the sky and hit the ground in a matter of seconds with tremendous impact. If everything went according to plan, we would float together, gently and slowly falling to earth while enjoying the views and moments that the descent induces. I began reconsidering the course of action I was about to take, questioning my courage and will to go through with it. What in the world made me think that I could possibly jump out of a helicopter? At the edge of backing out, I glanced at her face, noticing the unique features that made her beautiful. She was the sole reason. I grabbed her hand, and we jumped out together.
It took only a few seconds to separate from our locked hands, slowly drifting away from each other. She opened her parachute, and I saw her slowly descend as I fell through the sky. I tried opening mine, but it was jammed. There was nothing I could do to stop the fall or to brace the impact. Feelings of regret and sadness crept in my mind as I recalled the moment I could have prevented this fate. Was it worth it? I stared at the ground, leaving tears trailing above my fall, reluctantly accepting my doom.
But before I hit the ground, I woke up.
There I was, still standing at the entrance of the helicopter, ready to jump with the girl next to me. She still gave me the innocent, nervous look. I still trembled about the idea of jumping out of a helicopter. The pilot again asked me, “DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?” I again gave him the thumbs up. But this time felt different. I knew what was going to happen.
I held her hand. I felt the wind brush past me as I fell through the sky, hoping this time will be different.
I was inspired by 500 Days of Summer and Gilgamesh. In both stories, the main character takes a leap of faith, understanding the consequences that may result. This story centers on a character similar to Tom, who knows that his relationship may not last but fights and hopes to keep it alive.
" Before I move away, can we spend one last night together?"
Catherine sighs and eyes begin to become watery. Alex is left to beg Catherine to accept his invite even though they are currently separated.
"Catherine I know we are separated but all I ask is for one last night, it would mean the world to me."
Catherine is on the brink of crying but, for some reason she hold her tears in and says, " Fine, one last night"
"Thank you, you wont regret it" says Alex with a smile.
"I have a feeling I will" says Catherine, unable to hold her tears begins to weep.
Alex attempt to comfort Catherine, " Don't worry, tomorrow night won't be that bad, just go to sleep and I will pick you up at 7 tomorrow and I will take you...." Catherine hangs up before Alex could even finish his sentence. Alex is planning to take Catherine to the fair, simple place for teenagers to have fun.
Next day in the afternoon, Alex and Catherine both start to dress up for their last night together before Alex moves away. Alex wearing a dressy outfit, with flowers prepared for Catherine. Catherine with normal jeans and a shirt, shows how much she cares about their big night.
Alex arrives at Catherine's house and walk to the door and ring the door bell. She answers the door and slams it right behind her and walk right past Alex as if she didn't even notice him. Alex remains happy, he's just happy that she agreed to the date. On the way to the fair, Alex attempts to talk to Catherine multiple times but, she responds with dead silence.
They arrive at the fair and begin to walk around and see what ride they should go on. Catherine was more focused on the rides and food than on Alex, but Alex surprisingly doesn't mind Catherine's behavior, he actually expected this from her. It seems as if Catherine is putting effort into ignoring Alex, she looks at Alex's face and just sees this happy innocent smile, as if her behavior doesn't faze Alex at all. It makes her mad and confused as to why he is so happy knowing that she is treating Alex like a complete stranger.
Catherine and Alex are separated because Alex has to move away with his mom and Catherine feels like Alex is abandoning her and she slowly begins to resent him. After a short period of time Catherine decides to end the relationship. Alex attempted numerous times to change Catherine's mind, to make her understand that he still loves her he would stay but he can't. Catherine, as stubborn as anyone could be, doesn't bother to listen to his pleads. Alex understand why she is mad but, still refuses to give up, he doesn't want to leave a bad memory of him behind.
So that brings us back to present day, their last night. Alex laughs and smiles throughout their time at the fair, he's having the best time of his life. Catherine is wondering why he is so happy, she's never seen him so happy before. As hours and hours pass on by, it nears the end of the fair. As they walk back to the car Alex tells Catherine something she didn't expect, something that made her mad and confused.
" Thank you for spending tonight with me, It means a lot to me, I know you feel like Im abounding you, I'm sorry I have to leave you like this. But I just want you to know that I love you and I always will, I will never stop thinking about you even in the new place I'm moving to," says Alex passionately. This makes Christina weep uncountably, Alex comforts her on the way back to the car, telling her " Don't cry, it will be alright".
On the entire way back Alex and Christina hold hands and never once let go. As they arrive to Christina house, Alex parks in front of her house and lets go of her hand and leans over and kisses her," Im glad I got to spend my last day with you". She gets off the car and Alex takes off.
Christina doesn't hear from Alex for the entire week, and she is furious that he hasn't called her. She calls a whole load of her friends and family and tires to find out Alex's number. After a whole day of searching, she finds it and calls the number.
" Hello!" says Christina furiously.
" Hello...., who is this?" says an unknown voice.
After a short few seconds, Christina realizes that it is Alex's mom that answers the phone. She is suddenly shocked and apologizes and says " May I please speak to Alex?"
After a long silence, Christina becomes irritated that her mom isn't responding. After a long serious of hellos, Alex's mom says something that no one should have to hear.
"Alex passed away six days ago" say Alex's mom without emotion, with emptiness.
Christina suddenly is in tremendous shock, she drops the phone and stand there for a good 5 minutes just trying to comprehend what she was just told. She begins to weep like she's never weeped before. She cries and cries asking herself "how could this be". She then recalls their last conversation together " Im glad i got to spend my last day with you," those were Alex's last word to Christina. She then realizes that it seems as if Alex was saying goodbye forever. Christina later finds out that Alex had cancer and was suffering from it for a while and Alex and his family knew he didn't have much time left in this world. Christina eventually speaks to Alex's mom again, Christina finds out that Alex last wish was to spend one more night with her and nothing more. Christina cries and cries for the whole day, blaming herself for their breakup, saying " how could I be so inconsiderate?" She felt like she never really appreciated Alex, recognized what he did for, how much he cared about her.
Gilgamesh and 500 Days of Summer were the two things that inspired me the most. I incorporated the pain of loss, love between two people, and selfishness. Both stories show how people can be unappreciative and not recognize the good things or people they have in their lives. Story is mainly about Gilgamesh but on a different perspective. Christina just like Gilgamesh, didn't realize the great people they have in their lives till after they lost them.
Eldus is the dragon narrating. He’s the son of the chief dragon, but he’s different, he looks different. The other dragons shun him, they don’t like him. He’s lonely, he only had his mom. His father trained him nonstop. Strength can make up for his oddity. He grew up to be the best fighter, he was praised for that, but no one would talk to him still. He’s still lonely.
This is his side of war.
In the war, the battlefield, drenched in blood of our allies, our enemies, and the innocent. It quickly grows wider and brighter, then buried in the dust that we create while fighting, only to spill more blood. There is never less than fourteen dragons from each tribe, each fighting tooth and claw, to their very bone. Their outsides are tearing *apart*.
More blood. It spills from the other, splatters onto the other. If getting in the eye, they keep going. Blindness is *alright*. Especially when the reward is honor. You’re doing a great thing, killing off everything in your way. Justice never rests, but it’s so blind.
I think the war itself is slowly killing us, not the the enemies. They do help to fasten the process, of course. I don't even think that anyone remembers what this war is about. I bring this up. No one listens. There is only war stuck in their *head*. Fight, kill, tear, rip, claw their eyes out! The only thing ringing in their head. What's singing in their head? The war song. But wait, there is no war song. No songs at all in this time. Not enough happiness for a song, they say.
About the innocent's blood. They're only youngsters. War has gotten to their head. We can fight, we're strong enough, they say. Strength has nothing to do with anything. Anyone can go off and kill when killing is in your head. And when you're forced to go onto the battlefield. Die a *hero*, or die a *coward*. No honor at all. No one wants to be known as that.
It's all an *illusion*. Heroes. I see no one stopping the war. Only killing, as if it's the only solution. Well it's not, I know. Why don't I do anything? Well look at me. I'm tiny, with dragonfly wings. Pitiful. No one will acknowledge me, not even my own father, the leader of our tribe. My mother? Oh she's dead. Another life taken by this terror. I know that she hated all of this. Always telling me that this is all horrible, we don't need this. We don't need *this*.
I'm ashamed. I'm the best fighter in our tribe. Why don't they listen to me, then? Ha! Either way, what makes me pitiful still gets in their way. No one wants to listen to a pitiful one’s nonsense. They only like me because I'm the best fighter. If I wasn't, they would probably just kill me when my father stopped caring about me.
War is eating at their *heads*.
No one *sees*, no one *sees*. Everyone is *blind*.
So this little thing I made is about war obviously. You can say that it's wrath. And just like the Florentine people, they're just constantly fighting, which is the result of dragons going extinct, the downfall of the once great beasts.
Eldus, the narrator suffers so much loneliness. But unlike Gilgamesh, he wasn't praised and no one likes him.
So this is pretty much some of Dante and Gilgamesh.
Who sucks at bolding things? Catherine does~ (ノ ¬_¬)ノ
I agree with your viewpoint on war that killing is not needed to end a war. Nice idea using a mythical dragon as a narrator.
Only those elements time cannot wear.
Were made before me, and beyond time I stand.
Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Minos: I’m the judge of dead in the underworld
unlike my two brothers
I take the final decision of each sinner
in others opinion, I’m a beast with long tail and scary face
but who really understand me?
and who knows the stories behind me?
I had a daughter named Ariadne,
this is the story about her and two other boys
but it’s not just about love
and also a story of fate.
Theseus and Ariadne fall in love in first sign
because of love Ariadne helped him
to kill her “monster brother”
during that night,
Aricadne left the palace with Theseus
and began their happily ever after.
However the goddess of destiny came to Theseus
told him that their love is not blessed and
their union would only bring him bad lucks.
Love or Life?
Theseus chose to have a better life instead of
to live with the loved one.
he abandoned her
left her all alone on the island.
Ariadne woke up the next morning
no one was around
maybe it’s the fate
Dionysus accidently came to the island
and they fall in love….
John and Kelly are best friends
John likes Kelly since elementary school
Kelly feels the same as well yet
because they know each other since little
it’s harder of them to tell each other
love or just a deep friendship?
what would they choose?
will he missed her just like what he did during their first life?
“Kelly, I” Kelly cut off him before he could finish
“John, I have good news for you” Kelly said.
“ A good news?”
However, Kelly didn’t look very happy when she says this
“Yes, Tom asked me to marry him.” Kelly forced to give him a tight little smile.
“Right, this is good news” John answered.
No one says anything anymore.
The wedding (last chance)
“Congratulations to our new couple. Now, let’s have bride’s best childhood friend John to deliver his speech” the priest said.
the white roses
the blessed congrats
the loved couple
everything seems to be so peace and happy
However, John knows that
if he had told her his true feeling
things would be different.
Went up to the stage and delivered the speech
this is the end, the end
Yet in the end, no one escaped from the fate; neither Theseus, Ariadne, and Dionysus, nor John, Kelly, and Tom (during their second life).
My inspiration comes from the inferno how they have to suffer through the punishments in order to have a new life. And the “fate” is come from Mr. Feraco, because when he explained the patterns of the data, I thought sometimes WE ARE kind of like that.
I liked how you pulled from Inferno and modern age to support your point about their fates.
"Just becuase she likes the same bizarro crap you do,
doesn't mean she's your soul mate."
Now, stop! Take a second
look around you,
observe what "they" like.
Don't panic! Yes, you are right!
your friends, and your classmates,
Summer and Autumn,
Spring and Winter,
They all love what you like.
However, schoolmate, classmate, soulmate,
which one do you care most?
I know, soulmate soulmate soulmate. But, Why soulmate?
`cuz we both like the same thing.
NO! there are other reasons behind!
"Look, I know you think that she was the one,
but I don't.
No, I think you're just remembering the good stuff,
next time you look back, I, uh,
I think you should look again. "
Look again! Find the real soulmate
and give a better reason!
No more because "she likes what I like"
Im just making you feel like...
"Anything's possible, or like life is worth it"
Inspired by the 500 days of summer, the idea that was brought out by the 2 main characters, Tom and Summer, "Just becuase she likes the same bizarro crap you do,doesn't mean she's your soul mate."
‘I want to see him.’
‘To see who?’
‘Dear, Dante loves Beatrice Portinari. You cannot marry him.’
‘But I love him… And I have been waiting him for so long’
‘I can’t do anything, dear. Last time he did not get a chance to marry Beatrice. He came and begged me after he died. And so the reason I matched them this time.’
‘So can I just take a peep at him? Please, I love him.’
The God of Love signed.
‘Alright. But in order to take a peep at him you need to wait for ten years. Do you accept this term?’
‘Of course. I can always do anything for him.’
And so the God of Love transformed the girl into a big tree and placed ‘it’ in a forest.
Within years this big tree had grown even taller and bigger.
And in the last year so it was seen by human. The human saw this tree good and cut it into large pieces of wood. Then transported it to the town and use it to make furniture.’
The girl was then a wood furniture. And she saw Dante held Beatrice hand and walked around IKEA. They passed through her. As she wished, she took a peep at Dante. But Dante did not know there was a furniture looking at him.
‘It was too little and I am not satisfied with just a glance.’
‘So what do you want? He has married Beatrice now.’
‘ …… Might I touch him?’
‘You can but you need to wait for another ten years? Is that okay?’
The girl bit her lower lip with her teeth, ‘Yes.’ She said.
Once again the God of Love transformed the girl into a tall big palm hand placed ‘it’ on the mountain.
After ten years the tree had grown even stronger and developed large tree leaves.
It was a hot afternoon. The girl saw Dante again. He was ten years older than last time she saw him. He was holding Beatrice’s hand. They were hiking together.
It was so hot and they sat under the big tree for a rest.
She centered the tree leaved so as to block them from the evil sunlight.
After awhile they felt colder and they planned to go on. Before they continue their journey, Dante lightly touched the tree with his hands out of gratitude. But she could not tell how much she did for him.
‘You can be his wife if you wait for another fifty years.’
‘Did Beatrice wait like I did?’
The God of Love nodded, ‘She passed away at twenty five. Then she waited until Dante passed away at seventy years old.’
‘I see. But I do not want to. I love him but it does not need to be his wife… Thanks for that.’
The God of Love signed again. Indeed that was a sign out of relax.
The girl saw this and she asked, ‘Why did you sign? Is there anything you want to tell me?’
‘Yeah. Indeed I am happy with your decision. Because there is a boy who has been waiting for you for seventy years.’
Inspired by the love between Dante and Beatrice.
Oh, there were mistakes. i meant 'leaves' in the fifth line of the fourth paragraph. And it should be 'And in the last year so it was seen by human.' in the third line of the second paragraph.
Life isn’t a garden full of butterflies
Life is what you make of it
Like the universe a million stars
But only one wish comes true
Strive hard, impress, test others
The weakest link will not survive
Provide yourself with strength
Not only for yourself
But the people who care about you
Provide achievable goals
Hard, risky, but possible
You will succeed
Set goals, not 1, not 2, but many, many goals
Back after back, another, and then again
Each goal imagine as a everlasting racetrack
Always having one more lap
If you don’t come in first place,
Next lap you will!
There is something you are better at
Than anyone else on this planet
The something that you love to do
Make your career your hobby
Your life will prosper this way
Always strive to be better
Take a risk
Jump in the waters not knowing how to swim
Eventually, your instincts will kick in
One will never know, until they try
Forget the past, by making a future
The chance is worth it
Inspired by the discussions that we have in class, 500 days of summer, and the Gilgamesh book.
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