Monday, December 5. 2011
There's a saltwater film on the jar of your ashes
I threw them to sea but a gust blew them backwards
And the sting in my eyes that you then inflicted
Was par for the course
Just as when you were living
It's no stretch to say you were not quite a father
But a donor of seeds to a poor single mother
That would raise us alone
We never saw the money
That went down your throat through the hole in your belly
Thirteen years old in the suburbs of Denver
Standing in line for Thanksgiving dinner
At the Catholic church
The servers wore crosses
To shield from the sufferance plaguing the others
Styrofoam plates, cafeteria tables
Charity reeks of cheap wine and pity
And I'm thinking of you
I do every year
When we count all our blessings
And wonder what we're doing here
You're a disgrace to the concept of family
The priest won't divulge that fact in his homily
And I'll stand up and scream if the mourning remain quiet
You can deck out a lie in a suit
But I won't buy it
I won't join in the procession that's speaking their piece
Using five-dollar words while praising his integrity
And just ‘cause he's gone
It doesn't change the fact
He was a ________ in life
Thus a ________ in death
- Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie), “Styrofoam Plates”
What would people say at your funeral?
Would they tell the truth? (Do they even know the truth about the person you are?)
Would you want them to?
I first wrote a version of this thread during my first year at Arcadia. At the time, I was teaching a unit on a very old poem called Beowulf. It’s a wonderful story, big-hearted, bold, and beautiful in a way that most stories can’t muster anymore. When I read it as a senior in high school, I didn’t give it much of a chance, and it won me over anyway.
It’s basically a collection of my favorite things, discussing subjects as varied as the reasons we live, love, and fight, the joys and agonies of holding power, the proper role of revenge, the weird crises that result when one realizes that he’s reached his peak, and – last, but certainly not least – the oddly human compulsion to treasure the past, to hold onto memories more desperately than possessions, and to define ourselves in terms of where we’ve been far more readily than in terms of where we want to go.
In short, it’s awesome.
Anyway, it was my first year, and I stumbled into what I thought was a unbelievable stroke of luck: Robert Zemeckis, along with a whole slew of investors, had decided to invest many years and $150 million in a 3D, fully-motion-capture-animated film version of what many people considered a unfilmable poem. (Others had tried, and failed miserably.) And he was releasing it that fall – in 3D, no less. A film of Beowulf! And if you think I was excited, imagine how my students felt: instead of reading the poem, some figured they could just watch the movie. It was a coup for everyone, and my kids were really excited about the unit.
But a couple of funny things happened along the way:
a) It took a couple of weeks, but when the Search kids got into the poem, they really fell in love with it;
b) The movie came out, and it was…well, different from the book;
c) Other than the kids who went hoping to see violence and Angelina Jolie's CGI body (she was eight months pregnant at the time), every single one of my students loathed the movie – mostly because they were absolutely horrified by the changes Zemeckis had made.
I went to see it with a fairly open mind. I love books and films, and I’m not a purist; while I appreciate film adaptations that preserve the best aspects of their literary sources, I understand that there’s no reason for a movie to copy a book exactly. After all, if I want the story to follow that familiar path, I can always read the book again.
Still, the movie takes an almost perverse delight out of messing up everything - changing not just relationships and timelines, but the very characters and themes I loved (and continue to love). The film’s title was the final straw – why even call it Beowulf if it’s not going to be based on the story at all?
I vacillated between hatred and appreciation for a while. On the one hand, it’s a really pretty movie. If you don’t mind the dead-eye thing that freaks a lot of people out when they watch motion-capture, the movie’s completely immersive, and there were a few exhilarating sequences that actually would have been unfilmable had someone other than Zemeckis directed it. Also, the film displayed a lot of guts by altering the poem so completely; the first people who’d want to see a movie of the poem are also the original’s most passionate defenders (to put it lightly), and therefore are the most likely to be infuriated if anything changed.
At the same time, I felt a little cheated. It was a golden opportunity to present a story that (as my Search kids proved) still has plenty of resonance for a modern audience but that’s critically underappreciated because of the perceived difficulty in reading a long, old poem (see also: The Inferno), but the filmmakers did their best to avoid presenting that story. The movie was not a financial success (the studio lost more than half of what it invested in the film); now that Zemeckis had tried (and failed, with a bunch of resources at his disposal that most filmmakers will never have), nobody else was going to attempt to make a Beowulf movie. For better or worse, his vision was what I was going to get, and his vision happened to completely diverge with anything resembling a reading of the poem.
Then I realized that that was the point.
It’s important to remember that accidents happen in art. Sometimes a painter slaps some paint on a canvas only to discover that their original idea is inferior to something they saw in the details. Sometimes a teenager moving a pencil over paper produces an image that’s even more beautiful than the one they held in their heads. Sometimes an author surprises himself with the ending he composes.
More often than not, however, art is an intentional product – the sum of thousands of carefully considered creative decisions. And when you’re talking about doing something as blatantly controversial as Zemeckis and Neil Gaiman, who co-authored the Beowulf script, decided to do – i.e., mess with an unquestioned classic that’s one of the foundations modern literature’s built upon – I should have instantly realized that something was up.
Zemeckis and Gaiman aren’t incompetent. They can read the poem as easily (and as well) as I can. They know what it’s about. Their scripting choices aren’t the result of two grown men massively misinterpreting a text we teach to teenagers. Instead, the scriptwriters decided to avoid adapting the book they said they were adapting; they wrote a movie that advanced a message, and the changes I mentioned were made in order to drive home that specific message – even though it’s a message that people who have never read the book probably can’t notice, and even though it’s a message that people who have read the book may miss because they’re too furious to notice.
I certainly didn’t get the message until about a week later. I don’t stop thinking about things easily, so Beowulf haunted my thoughts for about a week before I finally got the message. It’s most clearly stated in a moment that’s really easy to miss because it seems so mundane.
Those few of you who have seen the movie may remember a seemingly irrelevant scene that takes place just after the narrative has jumped forward fifty years. Before the jump, Beowulf is blonde, young, and ripped. Then he becomes king of his people, the camera blinks, and we jump.
When we see him again, he looks significantly older, wearier, and tired; fifty long years of struggle and guilt have weighed heavily on him. He yearns to be out fighting instead of pulling back from battle, but he’s seemingly too old to continue fighting as he once did. In something of a reflecting of its aged leader, Beowulf’s nation is crumbling around him, with enemies advancing from without and weakness, corruption, and cowardice taking hold of many citizens.
So we see him ride up to the aftermath of a struggle, where one enemy lies still-living on the ground. When the fallen fighter challenges him, Beowulf dismounts his horse and returns the challenge with an almost palpable violence, daring the other man – screaming at him, really – to strike him dead. There is an intensity to Ray Winstone’s performance here that is just magnificent – the self-loathing and exhaustion that constantly occupy his thoughts bleed through every syllable, although he doesn’t let it show in his words – and the fighter crumbles in the face of his forceful advance. Beowulf tells his men to give his opponent a trinket and send him on his way; in his words, the man “has a story to tell now.”
This scene is easy to ignore, because it’s almost anti-climactic. Yet my thoughts kept returning to this scene, and I grew convinced that this scene is what the entire movie is about.
In a nutshell, Zemeckis and Gaiman decided to make a film about the differences between the substance of who we are and the ways in which we are perceived or remembered. The film destroys the poem because the poem never describes what actually happened – and the film purports to do just that.
Zemeckis asks his reader-viewers: You think Beowulf is noble? Are you sure? Or are you simply taking the author’s word for it? The filmed events are very different from the poem – and the filmmakers seem to be arguing that these differences exist because history is written by those who gain the power to write it, and those with power often like to remember the rosy details – and omit the darker ones.
When we read Beowulf, we’re reading a story about a hero who doesn’t seem to have flaws. He’s strong, brave, intelligent – the man even lives for nearly a century!
Beowulf, quite simply, is impossibly noble. He is the figure we write about, not the one we meet in our everyday lives…for we live in an age where even our heroes must have flaws. He seems larger-than-life in death, in our fiction.
And that, the film states, is because he was decidedly less than that during his lifetime.
What does this have to do with Ben Gibbard’s father? What does this have to do with The Inferno? What does this have to do with us?
Well, “Styrofoam Plates” and Beowulf are about how we remember those we’ve lost – whether we remember them accurately, or whether we lie to ourselves and remember the dead the way we want to. Ben Gibbard's attitude towards his father may seem spiteful, but it's genuine; there's something to be said for truthfulness and accuracy.
On the other hand, Beowulf may indeed be exactly what Zemeckis and Gaiman argue it is: a lie wrapped in a legend. But that lie turns out to be a better story than the "truthful" filmed version.
Now look at The Inferno.
It’s almost impossible to remember, as we go along, what I taught you at the very beginning of the book: Dante is not in Hell. The entire book is an allegory for searching one’s soul and confronting the beautiful and horrifying things we trap within ourselves.
So Dante’s Inferno, in other words, isn’t just a story: it’s a confessional from a man who can look back at his life, see the horrible things that have happened to him, and trace the wreckage back to himself.
Some of you have already figured out that Dante is each of the sinners we see. The Opportunists, the Lustful, the Gluttons, the Wrathful, the Sullen, even the Prodigal – can you match them with the things you know Dante did?
Do you remember his banishment of his brother-in-law and best friend in a politically expedient – one might even say opportunistic – move? (Opportunism)
The love he harbored for Beatrice long after he married another woman? (Lust)
The way he accumulated vast reserves of knowledge and power at an accelerated rate, heedless of the long-term consequences? (Gluttony)
The raw hatred he harbored towards Argenti, Boniface, and the others (you’ll see more) who wronged him in life? (Wrath)
The grief he’d internalized after losing his parents, friends, wife, children, and old way of life, only to prolong his suffering by keeping to himself and refusing to return to Florence? (Sullenness)
The way he allowed everything he’d garnered in his life to go to waste? (Prodigality)
Then we reach circles of heresy, violence, and fraud…and, if we continue down this interpretive path, we can confront some trouble questions. Is Dante including this specific type of heresy because it’s one that, in the dark of night after Beatrice’s death, it’s the kind of thought he indulged in? Did Dante contemplate self-annihilation after being exiled from the city he loved – virtually the only thing that, up to that point, he hadn’t abandoned and hadn’t abandoned him?
The Inferno isn’t fascinating because of its allusions, its linguistic mastery, or its impressive length. Those things are fascinating in and of themselves, but they aren’t the reason I’m teaching you this. It’s fascinating because it’s a snapshot of a man doing exactly what his childhood mentor had told him to do – taking a stab at immortality – but refusing to pull any punches.
It’s a stark, unflinching portrayal of a lost, furious, brilliant, conflicted, faithful, and lonely man who has nothing left to lose. He’s deconstructing himself as thoroughly as Zemeckis takes down Beowulf and Gibbard takes down his father.
Zemeckis argues that we don’t remember Beowulf – that he left nothing behind but lies.
Gibbard doesn’t want his father to have the privilege of leaving his lies behind.
Dante is Ciacco with a conscience. He wants you to remember him, even if it’s negative, as long as it’s true…
...because, if you don’t, he won’t be leaving anything.
What will you leave behind?
+ Are you everything you want to be to everyone you want?
+ Do you build different faces for different places, different sides for different situations, and different people for different people?
+ Are Zemeckis and Gaiman correct? Do we tend to remember figures from our pasts more favorably than they deserve? Do victors write history? Do we rewrite our memories out of respect? If we misremember someone, are we killing them again?
+ Let's say you could choose to remember your friends and family in a specific way…but only in one way. Would you prefer to hold idyllic memories of them, or accurate ones? (Remember, the only person who holds these memories is you - and only you can benefit from or be harmed by them.)
+ How would you like people to remember you – at your best, or as you are? How would you like your friends to remember you? How would you like your family to remember you? Do you think they'd respect your wishes – in other words, do you think they’d choose to remember you the way you chose here? Will history remember you more favorably or negatively than you deserve?
+ Do you have the strength to do what Dante does – not only look totally unflinchingly at yourself, but share that honesty with the world?
+ When Dante looks at the sinners, do you see yourself as well? Are you above the sins that Dante’s recognizing and renouncing? Would your Hell look different?
+ Are you afraid to lose the ones you love, or are you more afraid they'll lose you?
+ Is the nun from another Death Cab for Cutie song correct – is fear at the heart of love, and is love at the heart of your fears? Does love give you the strength to overcome these fears…or does it leave you vulnerable? (If it does, is this vulnerability a "bad thing"?)
NOTE: Just as you weren't/aren't allowed to use Hitler/Stalin/etc. in your reflections, I got a whole slew of Michael Jackson-related posts the last time I used this thread - more than enough to last a lifetime. No discussion of the King of Pop, por favor.
This post is due at 11:59pm on Thursday, December 8th.
You know the drill by now: your response should be at least three (3) seven-sentence paragraphs long, with the usual standards in place. As always, you are not required to respond to every question.
For this post, written feedback for two of your peers is required! Congratulate them, praise them, ask them questions...reach out! There’s no comment limit for this thread, so if you feel like talking to your peers, follow your instincts! (You can even do this for anonymous posters; they’ll be reading the thread to see how you respond.) Check your work to see if someone left feedback for you, and start conversations with your readers – and classmates!
Finally, please remember to nominate two of your peers.
As always, write well, think well…and good luck.
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If I were to die tomorrow, I would want people to remember me as I am now. To be honest, I don't really like my past all that much. Sure there were great memories, but I have done things that I regret deeply and there are some pains that I wish I could have never experienced. Those experiences affected my personality and my actions, so if people were to remember me for who I was then, then they would not be thinking of the person I am today. I want people to remember me for who I am now because this is who I really am. I believe I'm at a point in my life where I'm not too stressed out with things in a way that would impact my behavior negatively. When I don't have too many worries and when there isn't something bad going on in my private life, that is how I want my friends and family to remember me.
I am not all too sure how “history” will remember be. If I had to guess though, I'm pretty sure that it would not speak of me favorably. I don't believe I have done many things worthy of praise, but I know I have done things that deserve scolding or negative criticism. To others, some of the things that I have done might be deserving of attention, however I believe that all the things that I have done that might be deserving of this attention is just what a normal human being should do. For example, I saw that a woman dropped all of her papers on the floor one day. I also noticed that many people were walking by as if nothing happened. I went over and helped the woman pick up the papers because that's the kind of person I am. My friend told me that I didn't need to do that and yes, I didn't need to help the woman, but I felt that I should. He told me that I went out of my way to help someone and that I should feel good about myself, but I really didn't. Shouldn't other people help those in need? That was my way of thinking and I don't believe that it deserves recognition or praise.
If I had to write a book detailing my sins and how I would be punished for each sin, I would die of embarrassment. Not only did Dante do this, he also shared his sins with the world. I'm too shy to do something like that. The fact that Dante is able to confront every one of his sins impresses me. He is also able to confront them and come to terms with those sins. If I had to confront some of my sins, I don't think I would be able to descend to that next level of hell. It's not because I want to cower away from my sins, it's just that I would prefer to keep it private. If and when I do confront my sins, I want to do it myself, and let the experiences and what I learn be something only I know. I do not want to share it with the world around me. I commend Dante for what he has done because it's something that many of us including myself would not be able to do and would not want to do, and because of that, we have learned so much about the sins of humanity and how one comes to terms with them.
Wow you are fast!
In the second paragraph first sentence, I think you meant "Me" instead of "Be". Overall very good. I liked your third paragraph the most.
Eh, guess this is what I get for doing these things at such a late time. Thanks for your comment and I'll be looking forward to what you and other people have to say.
I believe that your past experience may not be as bad as you think because it might help you to improve your personality in a different way.
I think that's good that you don't please everyone because after a while it gets exhausting. I'm slowly starting to learn that you just have to be and live your life and not worry about other people.
I like you third paragraph and I agree with what you said.I would be hard to write about myself like that
Well written, interesting, and truthful. Just as I've come to expect from Da
Reading this sorta helped inspire me to write my blog. Very well written.
Why wouldn't you want to be remembered for all of you. For your past is what shaped the person you are today. Without all the mistakes you made or the things you regret doing you wouldn't have become the person you say is worth remembering. But I still did love your post. And I love the way you connected it to Dante.
Very recently, a friend I have known for four years said to me,
“It’s hard to picture you angry. I don’t know if you being mad is even possible. You’re a very serene person; you just seem so composed.”
I found this statement so strange. Not to say I constantly over express my anger as the Wrathful do, but I do enough that those who interact with me pretty regularly have had at least a glimpse of me upset. But I haven’t intentionally constructed myself to always be calm and collected in front of this friend – his view just happened to develop that way. Different places, situations, and people elicit different parts of me. I am perceived as simple and over-analytical, organized and frantic, shy and expressive, playful and serious, and on. I don’t build myself differently according to my surroundings; my surroundings bring out just parts of the whole me.
I remember part of a lecture in APUSH last year when my teacher talked about how historical figures are remembered and portrayed. When Lincoln is mentioned, his great accomplishments come to mind first – Emancipation Proclamation, leading the nation through a civil war. History has over-glorified him in the sense of overlooking his negative actions, such as the unconstitutional suspension of habeas corpus. Even the Lincoln attraction at Disneyland, Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, concludes with powerful music and clouds separating in the sky with light beaming through, conveying a strong sense of glory and leaving no room for a negative impression. We do have a tendency to remember figures the way we want to, shaping them to fit the mold we create, and neglecting the bad. Victors do write history. Often times the other perspective is lost.
I would definitely choose to remember my loved ones in an accurate way. By choosing to overlook any non-idyllic memory, I would be shaping them and my relationship with them to be something it wasn’t. I want to remember what I had for exactly what it was, because that is where the meaning is. Likewise, I would wang my friends and family to remember me as I actually am. But all this is ideal. The good memories can easily overshadow the bad ones. I can't, and don't, expect to be remembered in the accurate way I wish .
Your post reminded me of the box vs. amoeba illustration. Instead of building parts to ourselves, we show different aspects. Very insightful!
And the Lincoln evidence was also enlightening. Personally I did not know about his "darker side," so your point really hit me.
Typo in the third paragraph - should be "want," not "wish."
Thanks, David! Glad my post was insightful to you
One night I dreamt that I died. I rose up into the sky and looked down upon my dead body. I lay there in a coffin, lifeless and pale. I was surrounded by friends, family and other people who knew me. They were all staring at me, crying, talking quietly, pondering and trying to remember some special things about me. My mother, even though she was heartbroken, delivered a long, heartwarming speech. She stood up and declared, “Lontin always challenged himself to excel in everything he does including studying, playing sports, and even his computer business. Also, he never felt defeated when he failed. I remember in his sophomore year, he deliberately tried to stimulate his intellect by taking an honors course in Algebra II along with an honors Chemistry class and an AP computer science class. I noticed the classes were very demanding and suggested he drop one of them. But even though the work was heavy and hard, he insisted that he wanted to stay in the classes and be challenged. He did well in all the classes except for Algebra and had to take it again in the summer. He worked hard, did well in it, and got an A. His father and I admired his hard work and perseverance. We really appreciate it that Lontin never gave up, even when he failed. This is how I want to always remember my son…” When my mother finished, everyone stood up and started clapping.
Next my best friend Phil got up to speak. He was unable to hold his emotions inside as he faced the group of people. “Lontin and I went biking together every weekend. We always raced downhill to see who could go the fastest without falling. Whichever one of us fell first lost! We had the most amazing times together! I lost the competition to Lontin every single time. Why? Because I am not as competitive as he was and I don’t push myself to the limits in the same way he did, until his lungs gave out! I’m going to miss our rides. There’s no point in riding anymore without the sense of competition that Lontin gave me. I’d rather sit and read a book.” Phil slowly sunk back into his seat and his knees buckled in grief.
Cold air from the window shot through my body and I woke up shivering. Suddenly I remembered my dream and how people were remembering me. I felt newly motivated to live my life because my mother and Phil said such confidence-boosting words about me. Descriptions like “hard working,” “perseverance”, and “pushing to the limit” are all things I want to aspire to and definitely describe how I want people to remember me. When I am at my best, I think that my mother and Phil did describe me realistically. But then, when I think about Dante, I remember all the sins he committed and punishments that he witnessed and know I have committed sins too. I don’t completely deserve the praise given to me at my “dream funeral” because I am not always at my best. When I am not at my best, I have a bad temper and I only think of myself rather than how other people might view me. And when I lose my temper, I become anxious, maybe because I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I don’t want people to remember me in these moments. Dante recognized his own sins and I should recognize mine too. But whether I want other people to? That’s a different matter. For now, I’ll take my dream and maybe I can learn from it.
From your posting, I can feel how you want to take on challenges in academic studies while trying to maintain your passion in school activities and sports.
Enjoyed the imagery you provided in your second and third paragraphs. If you don't mind me asking, would you be willing to tell me and any other curious readers as to why you would not want others to know your sins? However, if there's some reason as to why you don't want to share, then by all means don't. I'm just very curious to see what you think.
You have freaky dreams.............
Cool how you kinda interpetted it.
Dreams that inspire you to make a change in your life are amazing. I have had one of those myself except it was different from yours. These kind of dreams make you open your eyes to the world and allow you to see what you are missing out on. I really liked your writing. It sucked me into your story.
I like how you changed for the better from your experience.
I like you third paragraph and I agree with what you said.I would be hard to write about myself like that
Your story was very descriptive and touching. I really enjoyed your it!
i really like your idea of using your dream as example. Creative!
I loved your imagery in this post! I could really imagine everything happening in your dream as I read it. Great job :}
Your story is vivid and I really like the specific explanations of your dream. Nice work!
lol i got this dream the night before a big test. Its not that wierd i had ones where i turn into a bird and fly around. >:)
Thanks for taking time to read x]
This is a great post. i like that you were able to get inspired by your dreams.
I like how you used your dreams as a example. Overall very descriptive and interesting post.
I wear many masks. In almost every setting in my life, I wear a different mask than I would wear in another. In fact, I have so many different personalities that I wonder which personality is my original personality. I wear the “Good-little-girl-that-doesn’t-talk-back” mask when I talk to my mom, because if I say one thing out of line, I get an hour’s worth lecture of how I’m not going to end up anywhere in my life. How I don’t have the abilities needed to take care of myself during my college career. Or, I get the lecture about obedience and I have scripture verse thrown at my face, and one can’t make a good argument when you have quotes from the books that your faith is based on.
Another mask that I wear is one that I wear around my marching band friends. They usually swear and almost constantly make either perverted or just lame comments. I am not interested in such language or conversation and I usually try to steer the conversation away from such things, but I have to have the appearance of tolerance for such things because I fear of being hated by them. Even though their manner in speaking and dress is not one that I would like to associate with, I want them to be my friends because when they don’t speak of perverted or stupid things, they are great people. I just have to endure their more stupid side for a while until their smarter side decides to show their face for the day. I want to be their friend, but I’m scared to really speak out, to speak my mind and have them break off that friendship. I don’t want to be hated, I much rather be thought of as a friend, even one that is silent and only speaks rarely.
There are even more masks that I wear, but since there are so many, I wonder, which one is my true face? The one that I want to be my true face is one that is always happy and smiling, and loves to talk about things. Someone that is fun to get to know and be friends with, but this mask hardly ever comes out, if it is a mask. Perhaps it is my true face, only visible when I am truly comfortable in the situation at that moment. Then only those that had gained my utmost trust would have ever seen who I truly am and not judge me.
keeping your "real mask" hidden can have it's ups and downs, but then we wouldn't have to worry about all those unnecessary dramas that could have happened.
Sometimes you just have to change the way you are in order to achieve something greater.
I agree with you that sometimes we keep so many "masks", we eventually lose track of which one is our real personality. I hope that you can realize your real personality soon
I understand what you're trying to say, we all act differently around different people. We're constantly getting influenced by others and always trying to satisfy what other people want verses our selves. I'm sure you're not the only one that struggles with this, I also struggle with showing my true mask instead of what others want to see.
Honestly, I have so many masks that I don't even know who I really am. Sometimes I really want to stop being "fake" but I just can't help it.
BTW, I agree with you on the "masks" we have, and I really like your work. Good job!
I admire the fact that you yourself admitted to not truly knowing which is your "true" face. And demonstrated that there are still true and honest parts in every face that you do create.
“Your story is different than my story.”
I thought it, but never said it. My relationship with Friend A was twisted. We met two years ago. Simply put, he needed a friend. I lent him an ear, and became one of the few people he trusted. He shared dark secrets, unsettling dreams, and violent thoughts. He was not the type of person I’d typically hang out with, but the only way he might change was if I continued being a positive influence. He needed help, and it seemed I was the only one providing it. I tried to advise and encourage him. He wouldn’t listen, and the daily cycle would continue. He mistook this help for a deep friendship. I saw myself as the mentor in the story, trying to bring a fallen friend to the light. He saw me as the ideal best friend, someone who he would be satisfied living forever with. This blind adoration of me would only lead to more conflict. I was not the friend he thought I was, and yet, he didn’t care. I was there, and for him that was enough.
“So, um, that was gross.”
We walked down the hallway together. He had just told me about a dirty joke he had said to his classmate. I really didn’t need to know. We kept walking in an awkward silence. I tried to think of something better to talk about. Suddenly, I heard my name. Behind me was Friend B, not a super-close friend, but a true friend. This friend did not share his closest secrets with me. We did not constantly spend time together in between classes. We did not do what “best friends” do. But our friendship felt natural. We chatted about school, football, ASB, and just life in general. Our classes were on opposite ends of campus, so we hesitantly split as we scrambled to fill each other in on how we were doing. Friend B and I said goodbye and I continued to walk to class. Friend A was still at my side.
“Why were you so happy all of a sudden?”
I left the question unanswered as I paused and reflected on the coincidental conversation I just had with Friend B. When I talked with Friend A, I did my best to hide my impatience and frustration. I bottled up my annoyance, and it ended up in an awkward silence. But with Friend B, I switched gears. I was happy. Tired, but refreshed by his presence. I forgot all my worries and problems and just talked. The conversation wasn’t deep, but we understood each other. When we parted, I wished for more time with him. These thoughts floated in my mind as Friend A finally left for class. I stopped in front of mine, put on a smile, and walked in.
I loved how you formatted each paragraph to start with a quote. It really brings out the story you're trying to tell! I felt as if I truly were you in those awkward silences.
I can relate to what you're saying how often times we act a certain way in order to help the other, in your case, but I guess I am not as nice as you. I just feel as if neither side truly benefits from the situation of a forced relationship. I have to admire your compassion and willingness to help others though.
May your heart stay compassionate and full of good will, and may your writing be as enticing as always!
So how did things work out with Friend B? Beautifully written, and I liked how you started each paragraph with a quote.
I'd like to say things got better, but I would be lying. Still working on it, to say the least.
That was a good way to start off each one of your paragraphs! You are very creative with you writing and their formats, It makes the reader want to red your blog post. Personally it caught me in and I just read the three quotes first, which made me wonder, why they were there so I was forced to read! Good job!
Your blog posts always seem to catch my attention! Well written and well thought out as always!
No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you can never make everyone happy. One person is at least bound to not like what you’re doing. For a while I just got so caught up with trying to be everyone’s friends, being nice to people and acting like how people would like to see me. It was impossible to make everyone around me happy, to be the person, the Sandra that everyone wanted, it was just too many different personalities. Eventually I gave up trying to satisfy everyone around me and just focused on the important people in my life, the ones that actually matter. That I know will make an effort to stay by my side even at my worst, that won’t judge me if I make a mistake. Everyone has one person that means the world to them, that they’ll do everything and anything for them and that person is my little brother.
Anyone who has any younger siblings wants to be the best older brother or sister, a role model for them, someone they can look up to and talk to…or at least at one point in their life. My little brother and I did not have the best childhood together, we would constantly argue, constantly bump heads, tick each other off on purpose and get into physical fights. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him; I could care less about my brother. But we grow up and we mature. I learned to love my brother and I wanted to be there for him. It took a while for him to warm up and to open up to me, I would always ask him about his day, make him breakfast and lunch, help him with his homework, watch tv, play games and shoot hoops with him. After a couple years we became really close, almost like best friends. I do a lot for my little brother and people notice. People will come up to me and tell me I’m a great older sister, how they want to be like me or have a sister like me. I was probably the only sister, only sibling that was there for all of the home Soph/ Frosh basketball games, the only sister that would stand out in the sun for 7 hours to watch my brother play with his medication in one hand and water in the other, that would drop what she’s doing just so she could catch her brother’s rebound and help train him, or save her lunch money just so she could buy those hyper dunks for her brother’s birthday.
There’s so many things I do for my brother and yet I feel like I’m not doing enough, like there’s so much more that I can do and that I should do. My little brother is probably the closest and the most important person in my life and I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if I ever lost him. Whether if it’s physically losing him or us just drifting away, I never want to lose my brother. He’s the only person I can talk to at home, who knows how to cheer me up or make me laugh randomly, the only person that will randomly throw a PS3 controller at me and tell me to play with him and let me kick his butt if I’m losing badly. My brother is probably the only person that I care and worry about if I’m everything I want to be to.
It is very hard to satisfy everybody you know. That's why I stopped a while ago and only focus on people who I think truly deserve my attention. I can also relate to how you feel about your brother because I have siblings as well. Although my relationship with them isn't as good as yours seem to be, I always try my best to do anything I can for them because of the sole reason that they are my siblings. I believe that I have an innate desire to be on good grounds with them and maybe this holds true for other people as well.
All in all, nice post and I enjoyed reading it.
I know what you mean by not being able to satisfy everyone. At one point I tried that and it became overwhelming and stressful. That is when I figured out that I should do what makes me happy. I related to your post and I really enjoyed it.
It is best to just be yourself and not act differently than how you normally do. Humans are made of good and bad, so it is fine to show that bad quality once in a while because that is part of us.
I admire your relationship with your brother, because I can see that you really care about him. I should give more care to my brother as well.
Aw, my gosh, I love the relationship you have with your little brother! At times, I also understand that feeling of it not being enough, I feel as though I need to do much more. But, what? I just don’t know yet.
I would prefer to hold accurate memories of our lost loved ones. However, we tend to hold the idyllic memories of people because we would like to remember them as better than they really were. We remember our loved ones the way we want to even if it means slightly distorting their image. As much as I want to remember the lost loved ones accurately, it rarely happens. Everyone has their good and bad aspects or sides, but when they are gone, and since we love them, we usually think of the good traits about them. If they mostly did good things, then we remember them as a good person. Death distorts us. Death makes us look at people differently. We pity people when they die, so our images of them are slightly changed and we think better of them.
We tend to say nice things about loved ones when they pass away. For example, when a person dies, people go to his funeral to say their regards. Even if the person who died was mean and grouchy, we tend to say nice things and remember them in a certain way just because they don’t physically exist anymore (and also because we don’t want to offend anyone). We focus on the good things and overlook the bad things that the person did. People would say, “He was a good friend” or “He was a nice person.” It may be partly because they don’t want to offend anybody, or they are at a funeral and they have to say nice things, and for some it may be that his ghost would come back and haunt them. If he was dear to somebody, he would be remembered in a “good” way.
My grandpa died earlier this year because of cancer. My mom originally went to China to see her parents, but when she arrived, my grandpa had already passed; I found that out through phone. I mean, I’d seen him a few times when I’d gone back to China, but those few times with him were spent well. Even though I don’t see him often or am not too close to him, I still felt devastated because he was family. After I heard that, my mind automatically reverted back to the good times we spent together, with him, my sister, and my cousin; all the walks we had around his neighborhood, all the talks we had. I remember he took us to a fair, where we played some games and he won some prizes for us. I don’t think of the bad things he did (if he did any; he could have been a drug dealer for all I know). If he did do bad things (which he probably did, I just don’t know about it), I wouldn’t think about it because he is gone. I remember him the way I want to, with all the nice things that he did and what a good person he was, in my eyes.
I understand where you're coming from because when I lost my Uncle, I immediately thought of the good things about him. Of course my Uncle had his bad sides and bad moments, but like you said, when a loved one dies, we just tend to think of the good things about the person rather than the bad things. I also feel as if the person who died at the funeral was truly an unfriendly person when he/she was alive, I don't think people should try to sugarcoat the things he/she did. I mean, if you thought he/she was a total donkey, then I don't think you should lie at his/her funeral and say something otherwise. I believe that's being more disrespectful to him/her now that he's not alive.
Sorry for your loss. Both my grandfathers passed away as well. Although I barely remember him, I wish I spent more time with him and got to know him more.
I am the type of person who is more afraid of losing the ones I love than afraid others losing me. Being the baby in my family I was well protected since I was little. My parents shower me with love and affection all the time. However, when I moved to the United States, I have to learn to manage my life independently. Through the years that I have lived here, I have grown to be strong and persistent. I know that I need to build a strong exterior so that I can cope with the unknown in a new environment. However, when I get home and stay by myself, I become vulnerable and think about the people whom I love, especially my parents. They are the rocks in my life and support me through thick and thin. I love them dearly and I really do not know how I would react if they were no longer in my life. At the same time, I know that if I were the one whom they lost, they would be heartbroken as well. Yet I do not believe strong enough to make it through without them. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but it is just that I love my family too much to go on without them. I want to carry on the family’s torch, yet I want to have them on my side to see me through.
In this world full of people of diverse backgrounds and characters, each one is a unique individual in his or her own right. Each expresses his or her own personality in different style. While we are taught to conform to prevailing social values and beliefs, one should still find his or her own footing and never be afraid to infuse personal style. After all, one needs to true to him/herself to live to the fullest. In my family, I am glad to say that I am everything that my parents want me to be. In their eyes, I am sweet, hardworking and serious about my future. They have certain expectation of me since I was a little and I have been pretty much following their suggestions. As I enter school and late move to a new environment, I began to meet different people and realize that the outside world can be a lot more challenge to be “perfect”. At times, I found myself having to deal with others who act unfriendly and even critical towards me. At first, I tried to fit in order to change their attitude towards me, but later I realized that it is difficult if not impossible to be everything that others want of me. From that moment on, I decided that I may not be everything that people want, but at least I live happily in my own skin and stay true to my soul.
Since young, I have been taught to act sharp and think on my own. When I react to different situations, I tend to devise the best strategy to handle them. I usually succeed in solving these problems. However, when it comes to people, sometimes it is difficult to apply a set rule since every person acts and thinks differently and hence using the same attitude may not work well. I am the type of person who is interested in expanding my “knowledge” of the world through actual experience and interaction with others while remaining my own ability and personality. When others ask me to do something that actually against my belief, I might bravely refuse. We cannot expect to handle our circumstances in the perfect way, therefore keeping my stance seems reasonable and comfortable to me. Although I have learned a great deal in making friends and solving problems, I still think that I have a lot more to learn on how to act appropriately among different people, places and circumstances.
I'm the little kid in the family so I know how you feel to! And my parents are different races so I never really even thought to segregate people due to race before either.
it is difficult to change other's attitude. I usually just ignore it or change myself if i agree their critical correct.
I compete in a sport called trampoline and tumbling. It is a form of gymnastics except with different events. When I compete, I want my competitors and teammates to remember me at my best. I want them to stop what they are doing in order to watch me. I want them to be impressed at the high amount of difficulty and tight form I have in my routines. I want them to remember me as an outstanding competitor and amazing athlete. I especially want them to remember my accomplishment of winning the bronze medal at Junior Olympic National Championships in 2011.
I love this sport and it shows through my dedication and commitment. I am a coach, a judge and have been an athlete for almost fifteen years. I travel to Chino four times a week in order to get to my gym, a total of about five hours in transportation alone. On top of that I train a total of twelve hours a week. This does not even count the amount of time I put into coaching or traveling and competing and judging at meets. I go out of my way and work hard to participate in this sport. These are things I want people to remember me as, especially when I am viewed as a role model.
I know that family and close friends will remember my accomplishments, but they will remember what kind of person I was even more. For example, my kindness and compassion for others, my amount of teamwork and my strong will. My friends and family will remember my mistakes and when I was vulnerable. I can not hide my weaknesses from everyone. Those close to me have seen me at my peaking point, not able to control my emotions. I can not always have that strong image when stressful situations take there tole on me. However, those close to me have always been there for me, and I have always been there for them.
That's so cool that you're so committed. That's so crazy that you won a bronze medal that should be mentioned somewhere unless it is already. I think they look so cool when they tumble.
I think it’s nice that you have something that you are very dedicated and proud about. You work hard so that you can leave behind what you want people to remember you for.
Woah! You won a bronze metal in a national competition, good job for staying motivated and being dedicated to what you love.
Woah, you're a coach? I knew you did gymnastics, but you're a coach?? That's amazing. Keep up the good work!
I've always wanted to jump on that big trampoline that gymnastics use and I think it's really awesome hat u have such a passion for what you do
It is very impressive to see that you are doing so well in gymnastics. I agree with you that I want my family members to remember everything about me
Man! That is dedication i wish that i could be that dedicated for a sport.
“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.”
Just this year on January 13th, the Asahi Newspaper published an article titled “The Truth behind the ‘Ignoble and Cruel’ Christian Daimyo, Yukinaga Konishi”, and explored the unpopular historical figure as he began to be seen in a better light.
Yukinaga Konishi, baptized as Agostinho (Augustine), was a Christian merchant who became a daimyo (a samurai lord) serving under the Toyotomi Clan in 16th century Japan. He lost the war against the Tokugawa, refused to commit suicide (for it violated his belief), and was executed in Kyoto.
In the Higo Province, where Konishi ruled, he is extremely unpopular. He has long been despised and hated for destroying Buddhist and Shinto shrines, ruling unfairly, and causing chaos and unrest for the people. The statue of Konishi was literally labeled “goku-aku-nin”, or the Extremely Evil One, with a board for years. In contrast, Kiyomasa Kato, who took over after his death, is extremely popular in the Higo Province. He has long been hailed and praised as being heroic, brave, and honorable. Historians face constant difficulty in trying to find his flaws. The only negative for Kato was that he could not get along with “evil” ― he could not forgive a personification of deceit like Konishi, even though they served the same clan. Kato was, and continues to, be depicted in popular culture as a perfect example for a manly samurai lord. Konishi often served as a foil for Kato; he was often depicted as being cowardly and dishonorable. Had Kato’s popularity stained Konishi’s, as the stars dim in light of day?
Propaganda is a powerful method in sustaining a monarchy. To keep its power for over three centuries, the Tokugawa Clan actively sought to use it, as it did toward rebels. The Tokugawa burned historical accounts of its rebels and forged untruthful “history”. Mitsunari Ishida was written as having “tortured women and children with snakes”; although it may sound blatantly false, people then had no reason to doubt. Konishi was no exception to this destruction of honesty, and, accordingly, most of his data, especially of his younger days, is gone. Historians now have no method of telling what is a lie and what is not. Had his reputation suffered as a result of lost accounts, forgery, and propaganda?
The fact that he was a Christian merchant shines at least some light to Konishi’s life. Despite the oppression of the Tokugawa Clan, most missionaries who temporarily visited to Japan carried their accounts safely home; because of his profession, Konishi came in contact with many of them, and was popular as a supporter of Christian faith. Luis Frois, a Portugese missionary, noted that Konishi built numerous orphanages and hospitals for the poor. Gnecchi-Soldo Organtino, an Italian missionary, described Konishi as a Japanese St. Paolo, for Konishi, despite dilemma, went against his master’s will to protect Organtino from oppression. Arnoldus Montanus, a Dutch author, wrote a detailed account of the tragic, honorable death of Konishi. Pope Clement VIII, upon receiving the news of Konishi’s execution, was said to have held a day of mourning for Konishi. Sadly, however, accounts of missionaries are and were often awfully biased. It was common to have Christians depicted as an angelic figure and have non-believers described as devilish and damned. Are these accounts truthful descriptions of the tragic, saintly daimyo, or are they also lies and forgery?
Could Kato have possibly been such a flawless figure, or is he also a victim in the political battle for control and power? Arnordus Montanus had never even visited Japan before. Is he trustworthy, or is he telling fairy tales?
Perhaps we remember Kato as a better person than he was. That does not necessarily make Konishi, his foil and archenemy, a better person than he is remembered as. Lost resources cannot be recovered, and we cannot, like Dante, travel into the realms and ask Frois, Organtino, or Montanus whether if he was telling the truth.
Despite all, Yukinaga Konishi recently became a popular subject of study for historians for reconsideration of the established image. There is no smoke where there is no fire; destruction of Buddhist and Shinto temples stand as historical fact. Now, however, as the Asahi Newspaper reported, most historians consider these temples as regional military forces rather than the helpless, vulnerable religious site. Monks then armed themselves with spears and ruled over areas, so daimyos had to win control over the area by defeating them. The fact that Konishi was an unpopular ruler has been challenged by the Amakusa Rebellion, in which the people of Higo rebelled against the Tokugawa in the name of Christianity and their former ruler, Konishi. In other words, why would there be any rebellion against Tokugawa if they were unhappy with Konishi’s rule?
Shusaku Endo, upon writing Shuku-Teki (Archenemies), a fictional novel featuring Konishi and Kato, described Konishi’s thoughts as he approached execution:
“’I am given the same destiny Jesus received … For a long, long time,’ he spoke to Jesus in his mind, ‘I, Yukinaga, have been apart from you due to my weaknesses. But now, somehow, I feel as if we are one...’”
Endo also included a monologue for the wife following Konishi’s execution.
“Once it becomes Tokugawa’s reign, no one would speak of your battles and your life. You would be scorned upon, called a traitor, a coward and a two-face. But I know. I know how you broke your heart to end the endless wars. I know.”
Length aside, I found your post very interesting. Not many students have such a deep knowledge of that aspect of Asian history. I like how you presented both sides as capable of deception. The quote at the end is powerful.
I regret I couldn't make mine shorter and simpler - my passion for this topic was too great, I just couldn't help but to write.
I'm a big fan of history, especially of ancient Japanese history. If it wasn't for art, I may have even considered returning to Japan and studying as a historian!
"Shuku-Teki" is a very powerful book; I'm glad I was able to convey that message, but I wish I was a better translator. His other, more scholastic approach to Konishi's life, "Iron Pillory", (I think) can be found translated in English.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and I appreciate the feedback.
I agree with David. It may have been long, but it was an interesting read that made the reading easy. Only after I looked bad did I realize that it was longer than most posts
I'm very glad to hear it interested you - I was afraid the post may turn out to be a boring history lecture. Thank you so much for reading!
I enjoyed your mini history lesson! I really like the Japanese culture, but I never really went into it; I guess I'm missing out!
I really agree with your example. Great people are often over looked and labeled as a Goku Aku Nin when they're actually seigi no mikata. And often times I think people are forced to choose between evils and there's really no win-win option. It's really sad how that's true for our world. And as for that last quote...that is an amazing ending! Actually, amazing is an understatement, it's...beyond that. I'm really in love with your ending. o-o
I'm very glad to hear you're interested! Japan is a fascinating country, both culturally and historically. I also applaud you for your skills in the language! Yes, seigi no mikata - the good guy.
I'm also glad to hear you liked the ending. I remembered I read a book on Konishi once, and dug it out of my bookshelf - I only wish I could have translated it better.
Thank you so much for reading, and thank you again for your feedback!
If I could remember my friends and family in a certain way I would choose to remember their memories accurately. If I only chose to have idyllic memories of them then their legacy would be tainted. Every person struggles at times, whether that be with your friends or your family. These hard times help build a relationships. Once someone overcomes problems with others they become closer. We all should build of each other, and one of the best ways to do that is from friends and family. By choosing to remember your loved ones as they were then you choose to cherish their legacy. Every moment with a loved one should be cherished and I would choose to remember the good and the bad despite how I felt about it.
Every person sins, including Dante. As Dante describes his trip through hell I can resonate with some of the sinners. It would be impossible to live your life without any mistakes. I can understand why some of the sinners did what they did, and I can understand why Dante condemns them to eternal punishment. My hell would be structured differently from Dante's. For example I would choose to put the violence sinners under the ones who committed fraud. I would change some of their punishments to fit their each individual crime instead of grouping souls together. I know that Dante shows each one of them having different degrees of the same punishment, but I feel that they should all have individual punishments that differ from soul to soul.
I would like others to remember me as I am. People should remember the real me not just the good memories but the bad ones too, because my actions made me who I am and if others only remember me at my best then they are tainting my legacy. I have had good moments with my friends and family but I have also had bad ones too, and those where a big part of my life. All those bad moments helped shape my life because I learned from them and those helped make me who I am. I feel that people remember their loved ones as they choose to whether it me remember the good memories only or the hard times too, it is up to the person to remember others as they choose. When I am remembered I think people will remember me as I want them to because that will be my request. History will remember me as I was. My life won't be remembered as something it wasn't. I will be remembered as I was .
It’s true that what we do can define ourselves and that we should remember loved ones for who they really are. Their actions on what they do on a daily basis help us remember them. We should remember people even for their flaws so that we can think about their personality and characteristics.
I also believe that the way we portray ourselves to others is how they will remember us.
I agree with you and I think that People should remember us "not just the good memories, but the bad ones too."
I agree with your point of view and I love your ending! Good Job!
You can learn a lot about a person at their funeral. Or, more accurately, from the people at their funeral. When the eulogy is delivered, for instance, how does the speaker act? Do they deliver it in a flat, monotone voice, or can you feel the emotion and tears coming out from behind each word? And what of the words themselves? Does the eulogist tell moving stories about great times they had with the person, or does he or she simply rattle off unoriginal descriptions of their character and the things they did, like a poorly-written resume? Since the eulogist is usually a family member or close friend, they will most likely avoid performing these colder, insincere behaviors during the service and instead try to present the person in the best possible light. This is not necessarily because they are trying to cover up or sugarcoat any bad memories they had of the deceased, but because that is how they genuinely saw them.
Likewise, if I had to choose only one way to remember my friends and family, I would prefer real, accurate memories to only falsely ideal ones. When remembering those we’ve lost, it always helps to think of them in a positive way, but we cannot forget that they were flawed, just as we are. Everybody has their imperfections, and choosing to erase these imperfections from our minds once someone has passed on provides us with an unrealistic persona that, if anything, makes us feel even less connected to the ones that we have lost.
Nevertheless, there is a difference between acknowledging negative memories or characteristics, and focusing strictly on negative memories or characteristics. When a person tries to block out any thoughts that don’t quite fit in with their fairytale image of a deceased person, they may do it out of fear that they will find themselves only focusing on the person’s faults, which will undoubtedly make them feel worse about their death. It is, however, entirely possible to think of a person positively and still accept the less-pleasant moments in their lifetime. Whenever I think about friends or family members that I’ve lost, for instance, the overall sentiment is positive. Yes, I do remember certain negative events that occurred, but they are honestly few and far between – as such, I am truly able to reflect on their lives positively, but accurately.
Interesting point, how you mentioned that you can measure a person's life through their funeral and the eulogy offered. I especially love your first paragraph; awesome similes and word choice.
I don't know if I could be like you and remember a person accurately - I would probably end up beautifying memories I spent with that person.
As a natural tendency, we humans would often try to leave our best impressions for others to remember, whether it is manners, behaviors, traits, or appearances. We decorate and modify our appearance or approach to win the others’ acceptances. When I face different situations, I would do the same by dressing properly or performing the proper task to make the best impression possible for others. Before I attend an Orchestra concert, I would first take time to dress properly in concert attires. Not because it is a requirement by the teacher, but more that it presents a mature and learned character. When I sit in the audience to hear other groups perform, I remain silent and motionless while keeping my ears and eyes on the performing group. This can show that I give respect and attention to others. When I am a member of the stage crew, I jump upon any requests for assistance because it shows my eagerness to help. As time comes for me to perform, I would sit straight and remain focused on the conductor, because it shows that I am prepared and passionate to perform. During all these incidents I have a different kind of faces because I want to give a different impression for each one. Other members of Orchestra do the same, and I can imaging many others would, too. This shows that the majority of us do build different faces for different situations.
Since I show different personalities during different times, others will have different memories of me. It would be best if they remember me as just the way I present to them, rather than only the best personalities they see. For friends, I would like to be seen as trusting and supportive with signs of laziness and carelessness. For family, it would be quiet and obedient, while unsociable. These traits mixed with good and bad make the person I am. It does not matter if the trait shows an entirely unfavorable character because it is part of the whole. Without the bad side, I can not be who I am. Therefore, I would want them to remember both the good and the bad. They should be able to respect this choice because they can forgive the bad traits and still keep it as a memory so I can be remembered as a whole. If I was ever remembered in history, it would be different from my choice because history usually talks about the extremes and less the minor details. Then I would only be remembered as an half because either the good will show or the bad.
My choice of how I want my friends and family to view me reflects how I would view them. It would be the most accurate portray rather than the idyllic. Especially since I am the only one that holds these memories, I would want to remember them exactly how they present themselves to me. Even the memories of all the mistakes and wrongs they did, they are good memories to keep because that is part of them. Many times, these memories of the wrongs are more memorable to a person than all the good things others did. I still remember my father’s anger when I was three. -- He walked pass me with my mother and grandmother following close behind. When he saw a plastic bowl of water within his reach, he dumped it on his head, and left the bowl on his head, which rowed off and hit the floor. My grandmother and mom struggles to stop him, while I stood in fear and cried. – This memory of my father’s anger is more memorable than many other memories of the past. This trait is a very important trait, but it is not idle since it does not make my father look nice. However, I still keep this memory because it accurately portrays my father, so that even when he is away, I can remember exactly how he was.
I definitely agree with you when you said that if we were to "remove" someone's bad side from our memories, we no longer remember their true selves.
Very clear explaination. I agree with your opinion in 3rd paragraph. Although being true does not look nice, people will momerize it most.
I don’t know who “I” am. Just what kind of person is this girl I see in front of the mirror each day? Is she kind or mean? Is she shy or bold? If someone asked different people that knew me just what kind of person am I, I’m pretty sure they would get different answers. And if someone asked me what kind of person I am, I would be at a loss at what to say. How do you label yourself with a few words all critically lacking in meaning? People are so complicated in that they have so many sides, so many personas to call “themselves”. Which is the real you?
Shakespeare once said: “All the world’s a stage, And men and women merely players, They have their exits and their entrances, And one man plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.” I find this to be more true than it seems. How do you define a true “you”? By your actions? By your predetermined fate? Or perhaps by your thoughts? I believe - at least I am speaking for myself - that we are constantly acting. At a funeral, I conduct myself seriously and solemnly. I would find it inappropriate to laugh or dance at a funeral, even if it was my worst enemy’s. At a party, I would act relaxed and open, perhaps even bolder than how I usually am. And often times at different settings surrounded by different people, I act differently to each person in each setting. For instance, in first period I isolate myself and focus on the teacher’s lecture, but in fourth period, I freely talk to my friends and often times do other things while I should be paying attention. Based on this, am I a studious book worm or a goof that doesn’t care about my studies? Just who am “I”? The answer I reached is: “You” or “me” - words in general - are terms too vague to be truly understood because humans are full of feelings and changes and complications so full of depth and dimension. So all I can say is that I am simply who I am. There are my actions, my thoughts, and my multiple personas, and all my actions, all my thoughts, all my personas, make up me. Just plain old me with few definite descriptors attached to it.
People can only describe me as much as they know about me, but unfortunately, it’s impossible for someone to know me or anyone else completely, however close they may be. And conversely, I know myself too well that I can’t put a word to it because there is just so much about me that there just is no word to successfully sum up the person I am. Often, if I am forced to label myself with a limiting word, I find it somehow wrong and not completely true, as if I just ate something, and it got stuck on my tongue and even when I forced it down, it didn’t go down well; I can still feel it poking against my trachea. Words are simply too limiting because we all know that we are so much more than what a few words can describe. People can only begin to comprehend who “you” are by numerous interactions as much as time can allow, but even then, we are indescribable.
i guess we are constantly acting differently in different situations. it is true that no one really knows who we are because of the many personalities we hold, but i believe that at least one person should know you, not yourself, but someone close. Swallowing up all of the different personalities may eventually hurt you. (not really, but i'm just saying... bleh don't mind me~)
i really liked how the shakespeare quote was integrated into your second paragraph and how you explained it.
You have different masks to different people??? Really??? Anyway, I really enjoy reading your blog, it’s really good! I like it.
An earthquake, bloody injury, car crash, or any accident or natural disaster can happen suddenly causing us to lose a loved one at any moment. What we have now could be gone in a flash. Life is very unpredictable and I might not realize or cherish what I have unless it’s gone, which is why I am really afraid of losing the ones I love. I would not know what to do without them because they give me joy, assistance, and care. When loved ones are gone I won’t be able to spend time with them and make new memories. No one would be there for me to share stories or memories with. The time spent with that person cannot be replaced. Nothing can last forever. Throughout life we will have gains and losses.
I know what it feels like to lose a loved one because I have faced death in the family and family/friends moving away. When I found out that my aunt died of cancer, I felt like I lost a part of myself. I was frustrated, shocked, and confused. I did not know what to do expect to cry and pay my respects. I knew that my cousins were very afraid of losing their mother. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to lose my mother because she takes care of me and she loves me more than anything. I was afraid to lose my aunt because I did not want to experience a loss in the family. Her death was a difficult time for our whole family. Unfortunately, I know that death will come get other family members, but I hope that it will not be anytime soon. After my aunt’s death, I did not want to lose anyone else.
Not only does death make us lose our loved ones, but distance may also affect our relationships. When my older brother went to college, I was afraid that our relationship wouldn’t be the same because he was not living home anymore. I was worried that our bond would start to drift apart. I didn’t want to lose time with him or just any family member in general. I wondered if my brother would be too focused on school and if he would start to neglect the family. So much was going through my mind and now I am glad that he still has time for those around him. I’ve gotten used to the fact that he is not around, but I am afraid that I will lose contact with my friends or family when it is my turn to go to college next year. I’m scared about losing loved ones because then I would have to adapt to change.
Thinking and writing about my family losing me is depressing because they would most likely be devastated if they lost me. Life is very fragile and I have to be cautious and take care of myself. I will not know exactly how my family would feel, but their feelings might be similar to what I feel whenever I lose someone. I’m not afraid of them losing me as much as I am afraid of losing them because I have faith in my huge family. They will know how to cope and move on. Loved ones are too precious to be lost.
Today, there is somebody standing in my shoes. That someone is me. From my point of of view, I have a lot of flaws yet I have time to improve and erase those flaws. I'm currently not at my best and I never will be. That is because being at my best means I'm perfect and there is one thing that irritates me, being perfect. I am almost an adult and one of wishes as an adult is to have everyone remember what I have done instead of remembering this thing that types these blog entries, me. If I stay who I am today throughout my entire life, I will just be someone who couldn't sprout into something magnificent. Then there will just be one soul too many that is occupying Earth.
Many of my friends won't remember who Tiffany is because there is just so many Tiffanys at Arcadia High School that their brain can't hold in that many Tiffanys. An impression is made many times after getting to know them. Hopefully they'll remember the girl who wears an orange bunny and a chicken hat. That's not the only thing I want them to remember me as. I want them to remember who the girl under the hat is. Not the face on top, but the face under it. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Family members are a different story though. We may be a big family with little money, but I don't want them thinking their kids are going to be a source of money once the kids get jobs. It may seem selfish of me to say that because we should support our parents, but as I look back, it just seems like that's all they're hoping for: money. If I ever walk out of this house and never come back, I want my parents to remember me as someone who is independent and is strong enough to take a risk strong enough that they won't have to keep worrying about. That's really the only thing I ask for.
History is what we reflect on as there is nothing we can do to change it. To make it remember us is up to us. Whether we want to be remembered or not is anyone else's business. “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift – that is why they call it the Present”. If today is a present, we should cherish what we are or will be doing or else something that we didn't want to happen, will happen. If tomorrow is a mystery, we should wait for the day to come and hope it will be a better day than today. If something bad happened today, who is to say we can't fix that? If we smile everyday no matter what the day holds, someone will surely remember us.
Awesome intro! Definitely caught my attention. Your post kept me reading on to the end, and made good and accurate points about life. I respect you for your determination to smile through every day; that's how people should be, but we sometimes forget that.
P.S. I remember you as the one and only Tiffany, and you are an amazing, talented, totally groovy friend. I love you, Tiffany!
I liked the second paragraph. It would be a little hard to stand out a bunch with Tiffany being such a common name.
I like how you transitioned your point of view in talking, rather than continuing to use 'me' and 'I'. And I really love that quote!!
Memories for sale! Only a dollar twenty-five for one! I’ve got idyllic, sweet, bitter, wrathful, and boring ones; you can only find these at our store! Next week I’ll be selling Elvis, Einstein and Emily Dickenson’s memories; all for just the cheap price of two-fifty! Taxes not included, and purchases are not refundable.
I lied. I don’t sell them so you can’t buy them. Memories aren’t an iPod, tee-shirt, or blender; it can’t be bought and sold. In life only the most precious things can be acquire through money and power. Each person takes and walks a different path, thus creating different memories. Without it, a person won’t truly be living. What would be the point in life if you couldn’t remember what you love, who you love, what makes you happy, and even the negatives: what you hate, who you hate, and what makes you sad. Missing one part, even the smallest is a regretful and saddening thing because you’ll never get it back no matter what you do.
I'm not, my friends aren’t and my family isn’t perfect. There is no reason for use to be so. I love them for them and their non-perfectness. All the times we’ve spent together, sad or not, I don’t want to ever forget and erase. Life is not perfect and if you choose to hide one part, you choose to ignore the truth, and thus, you choose to ignore you friends and family for who they really are. Wanting to keep only idyllic memories is equal to wanting to live a lie, a fantasy of daisies and flying pigs. No one’s life can be fully idyllic because life’s built to have hardships. If not, what would living be like if everything just came and happened like a breeze?
At this very moment I hold accurate memories of my friends and family and am going through life just fine, thank you very much. I’m in no harm by knowing the less-than-perfect sides to them. It will only harm me if I didn’t. By knowing I can try to understand them better, get to know them better, and just knowing, really, is better for all of us. In this case, ignorance is not blissful but baneful. Millions of people have suffered from memory loss, amnesia and Alzheimer’s, and because of it the person and his or her love ones suffered. There is no reason to just remember one side of life when life includes both.
Really like how you started your paragraph! it grabbed my attention.
I feel like I'm just repeating those who commented before me, but I loved the attention grabbed you used at the beginning. Overall well written, very nice.
Nice beginning, I lol...literally, cause I can totally picture you saying that.
But yeah, with all things that are good there's bad. There's always an opposite and I believe that seeing both parts can also give us a bigger perspective of that one person.
I love your opening paragraph, and I agree with you that memories cannot be bought.
In addition to your wonderfully original opening, I really like how you said that ignoring other people's imperfections is to ignore them as the whole individual that they are.
Creative opening! I also agree that we should remember all sides of the people we love.
I like your beginning. It is creative and eye catching. And I agree with your point that life isn't perfect.
I like the opening of your paragraph, it's really creative!
Although coming off as an amazing person would be what seems like a wonderful choice, I believe that having people remember me as I am now would reflect on all the achievements I have had and all the mistakes I've made. By remembering my mistakes, it allows them to understand my personality. After understanding my personality they would then begin to understand my wishes. Even if they resist to realize my flaws throughout my lifetime that is truly who I am. Being seen for my flaws and who I am, would make me feel better because they would not just pity me because of my death but also be fair to judge me like they would to every other individual. If they were to remember only the good or my best point in life, they would only be remembering a part of me instead of me as a whole. Having to remember me for all my actions, they can remember all the experiences that I had with them, the good and the bad.
Regardless of who the person is, whether it is a family member or a friend, I would want them to remember me as accurately as possible. I want them to know remember the real me, my flaws and all. I have made my fair share of mistakes and bad choices throughout my lifetime and I think that they reflect on who I am today. By remembering all of my decisions, good and bad, it provides them a good amount of support to understand my personality. Whether or not they like me, will be based off of the true me. If they were to like me only at my highest point of life, they wouldn't truly understand and like all of me. They'd only be liking part of me. Just thinking about the good I would have had would be lieing to theirself.
From knowing the personalities of my friends and family, they would not think about flaws and think of me as a better person. People usually tend to think about the good attributes of a person when they are gone. If they were to understand my personality, they would respect my decision. Having people only remember the good things that I did would make me feel as if i was pitied because of death. Instead of having people pity me, I would want them to be glad to have met a real person who has flaws. Not onyl will remembering everything i have done would be
Your post was very interesting to read, I loved how you interpreted you mistakes. I never thought of it that way. A mistake is a good way for a person to see your character not necessarily in a bad way, because it is how you fix them that counts! Good jobs!
I completely agree. I wouldn't want people to have to live when remembering me.
I like the way you approached this prompt, you were truthful and to the point. Good post!
“You’re such a quiet person.” That’s what most people said to me. But when they became my friends, they never use “quiet” to describe me. My actions didn’t match their previous imaginations. I had a totally different character. I show different sides of me when I face different people. My friends are the only ones that can know my authentic side. I usually choose to hide the true me when I get along with the new faces and the unfamiliar people. I feel more secured to act differently toward various types of people. Although it is exhausted to live with a mask every day, I still choose to have different faces and sides toward different ones.
I fear about losing the ones I love, such as my parents and my friends. Parents took good care of me since I was born. They went through different stages of my life with me. They knew my real thoughts and my authentic side. They always supported me without any reason. When I felt depressed, they consoled me. They tried their best to satisfy my demands. When they are ageing, I worry about losing them one day. It is devastating for me if they leave me alone.
I am also afraid of losing my friends. I share my happiness and sorrow with them. They will also listen to my complaints with patient. I can be myself before them and take off my mask. I cherish every moment we spent together. If I lose them, I feel a part of my world will fall into pieces. I will feel isolated if one of them leaves me. When graduation time gets closer, I worry more about our friendship. We may be separated because we will go to different colleges. However, even we are not at the same place, I want to keep in touch with them. I don’t want to lose any of them.
We fear because we love. We fear about losing the loved ones because each of them has a huge impact in our life. They encourage us when we fear. They support us when we have challenges. They provide us shelters when we are hurt by others. Their love gives us the strength to beat anything. It also makes us vulnerable. We know we have some places to leak our injury. We know someone will comfort us when we cry. With their support and love, we don’t have to put on a strong shell outside.
I was surprised by how much I could relate to your post; the first paragraph got me thinking if I unknowingly posted two entries.
Of course, you weren't my doppelganger. It's just that you wrote on universal fears and concerns that we, especially as the troubled adolescents, share.
I love how we can easily relate to your story, and I also love how it's simply and boldly stated, yet is refined.
I like how you say we fear because we love. I totally agree with it.
I hope that, when I die, my friends and family will remember me at my best. I don’t really know what “my best” would be, but I’d prefer it over just normal, everyday me. When my significant other looks back, I don’t want her to remember the fights we undoubtedly had, or the times I was a jerk. I don’t want my family to remember when I was disrespectful. I want those close to me to remember when I made them laugh (pretty much every memory of me, I’m sure), or when I went out of my way to help. In other words, I want people to remember me for what I did, not who I was.
I think most people, or at least those who actually liked me, will remember me like that. When I think of those who have left us, I think of not just the good, but the best times we had together. I really need to try to remember bad memories of those I liked. I find most people I know do the same thing; when reminiscing about friends and family, we put on our finest rose colored glasses, and skip over the bits we don’t like. It’s unfortunate people can be distorted in our minds into idyllic memories, but it can, in it’s own way, help us through the grieving process. Sure it might make us feel like we lost more, but those extra-special memories can make us happy in such an unhappy time.
I really don’t know how I deserve to be remembered. As a perfect example of a kind, compassionate human being? As a horrible, disgusting man that caused misery everywhere he went?
...No, I know enough to know those are pretty far off base. But where is that middle ground I stand on? I’m sure my best friend would be able to tell me, but I feel like asking them would be cheating. To figure out how people should remember me, I need to examine who I am now. But that is a question I tend to avoid; Who am I really? You see, I feel like there are a lot of “me”s. This James is for this group of friends, this James is for that one, This James is for my family etc. I think the real one is the one that talks and hangs out with my best friend... The operative word, of course, being “think”. With so many clones, so many “me”s, it is hard to keep the real one separate. Eventually I think the real one will join the crowd, but before that happens, I intend to put a big red pin on him that says “It’s me! I’m the real one!”. I know i have the strength to recognize who I really am... But unfortunately, I don’t have the strength to share it. On that note, I end.
Throughout my life I have been told about my older cousin, David. I would constantly be told "David is so much like you" or "You and David would've gotten along so well". He was a wonderful guy, he attended AHS, and he loved a lot of the same type of things as me. When he was around my age now, David got in a car accident before I was born. He was going home with a couple of friends when their car was hit by a drunk driver, sending them spiraling into the large drain-type thing on El Monte Ave. He died that night. I never got to meet the guy who was so much like me.
I have ideas on what David may have been like, but thinking about him always made me think about my friends and family. How would I want to remember them? I would like to remember them accurately. I wouldn't remember them the way I wanted them to be because I would feel as if I am betraying their memory by not remembering them the way they were. I would remember them when I do certain things and imagine what they would have done, but I wouldn't remember them ideally. It wouldn't be fair to myself or anyone who knew them.
If I were to die tomorrow, I'd rather people remember me the way I am. I wouldn't want them to picture me as my best because I don't think that I have reached a point in my life that could be described as my "best". I'd want my friends and family to remember me as the movie nerd with the odd obsessions who loved going to concerts, as well as baseball and hockey games. I'd hope that they could all respect my wishes and remember me the way I currently am, and not as who I was at my best. I'm only at my best for a couple of moments; I wouldn't want to be remembered for only a miniscule portion of my life. It makes more sense to be remembered as you always are, not for a short while when you are at the top.
sorry to hear about your cousin..... good writing!! I can see how much you miss your cousin
I like how u said that you want them to remember you "as the movie nerd with the odd obsessions who loved going to concerts"
its really shows out who you are, although not the "best" it may be the greatest impression to others.
and sorry to hear about what happened to your "so-alike" cousin that you never got a chance to meet.
i found your writing was clear -- that you starts with the car accident of David. Good Job!
I am afraid to lose the people that I love, since they are the ones who get me through the most in life; the types of people who cheers me on to do well and always there for me no matter what I did. These relationships with those people can be your family members or your friends. Losing someone in our life may mean a lot to a person, like how I lost my uncle, who was really close to me.
One of the people you may fear to lose is your family, who has been close to you ever since you were born. They have gone through everything with you and helped you through the hardest times. My uncle was close to me ever since I was a kid, although he was married, he treated me like his own son. Whenever I go visit him, he always takes me out to eat, show me something special, and play with me. He is just like my reflection in the water, he knew everything about me, what kind of food I like, what interests me, what games I like, everything. For the few years close to the end of his life, he had been fighting with cancer; He is the bravest person I’d know, he never complained anything and never blamed his fate. When he left his family and me, I was depressed, I did not expect that a person who is so close to me would leave so early.
Because I got a person that is close to me taken, I fear that I lost someone else that I love. I experienced what it is like to lose a person that is close to me, and I wish no one else would, but it is impossible. I know one day I will be gone, just like my uncle, but I don’t want people to be afraid to lose me because it is what will happen to us eventually. Although I am afraid of losing another beloved, it is unavoidable, people would leave us one day, and we just have to accept it. I wish that people would remember me, but let me go, like how I face the death of my uncle.
I also fear to lose my love ones; when the love ones were around I didn’t realized how important they were, and when they were gone I found my heart was bleeding. I like how you talk about your “memory” with an opened mind. Good work! Keep it up!
If I were to die I would want the world to remember me as I am now. Even though the way I am now isn’t all that good, but it is who I was and how I portrayed myself to the world. Many people would remember me as the troublemaker that I am, due to the fact that I made more poor decisions in my life than I did good. Yes I did make some good decisions in my life but only people who were really close to me would know about the good decisions I made. Majority of people will remember me as a bad kid because they only saw and judged me based of all the wrong I did, they didn’t really but in the effort to get to know me well enough to understand that maybe I’m not so bad as they think I am, just a decent kid who just made poor decisions. Never the less this is how I want the world to remember me when I die, maybe I didn’t live a really great life and I didn’t make so much good decisions but one thing is certain, I have absolutely no regrets.
History, I can honestly say will remember me negatively. Yes there are some good in my life that I have done and that does deserve recognition but I didn’t do enough good to over weigh the bad. I grew up as an only child for most of my life and the only sense of “role models” I had were my friends, they weren’t the best set of friends that my parents would want me to have but they were my friends and we looked out for each other. When me and friends were growing up we thought that being “cool” was making poor choices and getting into trouble. And it is because of this concept that we did a lot of bad decisions. And now that I am older I can look back and realize that now and understand why my parents didn’t want me having the friends I did.
Personally, I do believe that I have the strength that Dante does. To be able to look at myself and see all the sins that I committed, and admit to them. The way I see it, if I am man enough to commit the sin then I should also be man enough to own up to it, take responsibility for my actions and accept the consequences that come after. And yes I have been completely honest when every time I go to confession and I do share all my sins with the priest. If I had the writing capability like Dante, to write and publish my own book about my sins, then I would. Therefore the only sense of sharing my sins with the world is telling them to a priest, friends, family and even a stranger whom I don’t know but as long as they take an interest of knowing then I would share with them as well.
I’ve recently come across a captivating TV series airing on AMC called “Breaking Bad.” The show details the story of Walter White, a chemistry teacher who has recently been diagnosed with a terminal type of cancer. He wants to create a legacy and leave money for his family, so he starts making illegal narcotics to sell.
When White is receiving his first cancer treatment, he says: “I don't want to choke down 40 or 50 pills every single day, and lose my hair, lie around, to tired to get up, and so nauseated that I can't even move my head. You cleaning up after me. Me... me some um... some dead man, some artificially alive, just marking time... no. And that's how you would remember me. That’s the worst part.” This is a very significant part of the story because it provides viewers information as to why White starts to make illegal narcotics instead of taking the treatment. He wants to be remembered as the man who did everything he could to provide for his family, and refuses to be remembered as the feeble, sick man dying in a cancer treatment center.
I’d want to remember my friends and family for their ideal moments. Ideal moments are the first that come to mind when we lose people close to us, and for good reason. The people we lose will forever be immortalized by our ideal moments of them, like historical figures of America’s past. We choose to remember most of our presidents for their positive impacts the exception being Nixon. We don’t necessarily overlook or pardon the faults of our past leaders. The faults are just not factored into the leader’s public image, unless the faults outweigh the positive impact s/he had on the country.
I honestly don’t have the strength to look at myself to analyze my sins and share them to the world. Quite frankly, most don’t have that kind of strength. It’s hard to pick apart yourself and do it honestly. At one point, if you find too many flaws you’d want to turn back or just stop all together.
It does take an insane amount of courage to analyze and recognize the sins. The truth sometimes hurts.
Which kind of person am I?
“Jacky, why are you so smart”
“You need to study more man, this is easy”
“You need to smile more”
“Why are you so quiet?”
These are my friends’ comments about the person they think I am, but which one is truly me? After I enter middle school, I realize I act differently for different places, different situations, or different people. Thus everyone sees a different version of me. After all I just want to be a person who belongs into current situations. Not trying to be a perfect person, but I do not want to be that worse friend one can have. I want my friends to be proud of having me as friend. As I build up many different versions of myself, I slowly close up my true feelings. No one can truly understand me, nor knows my needs. Also, being a different person than myself I am scared my friends would not like my true person and leave me. As I grew older, I learned that pretending to be another person is pointless; change my personality is what I need. Now I am not scared to let other people seeing my true person. Not because I am a perfect person, but I want others to accept “me.”
After years of pretending to be another person, I find it is hard to find a person who loves my true person. Because who they truly loved was the ideal person I was pretending. If I happen to find one, I will not want to lose that person. It is not easy to find someone who can overlook my faults and forgive every time. Even though that person is not relate to me, when she see my weakness she will not taking advantage of me. That is what makes love such a complicated expression. Once I find that person I would not letting her leave me, because I am afraid once I lose her I will lose my way in life.
I want to be a helpful person to everyone, and give great contribution to this world. I want people to remember me as a successor not failure. To be a helpful person, I not just have to gain more knowledge but also improve my personality and potential. My teacher ever told me this, “Money is nothing, what you need is knowledge, with knowledge you can achieve success at anywhere or anytime.” I always believe this statement, and I want my descendants to believe it as well. Therefore I need to show them this statement is true. I dream to be the first person who invented a robot to turn Carbon Dioxide to Oxygen. I want to show the world our environment is important and we have to protect it. Also I want to prove human have many possibilities and we are capable of make up for what we have done to our earth. And this is how I want others to remember me.
Your opening quote, "You need to study more man, this is easy" reminds me of Lontin...sounds like what he says a lot. Anyway, I like how you're showing your true self now so people can accept you for who you are.
somehow, quotes for introductions often attract me
i like how you stated that the "me" is what you want to be remembered as, the one that is accepted
Superficiality. A negatively connotative word that ironically surpasses the surfaces which it defines. It would be superficial to say that I present myself as, simply, myself to everyone in my life. Because on those surfaces lie masks. And I own an eclectic collection of them, each specifically designed and tweaked for every contingency.
It was indentured servitude—close to it at least. She told me to hold her purse and wait outside. I agreed without question or any hint of offense. They took their picture without me, smiling as if everything was perfect. I knew I wasn’t a part of their family, and yet I felt like I deserved to be in it: I was the perfect son. I did all my homework and my chores; I took criticism with seemingly sincere acknowledgment; I obeyed their every whim. I wore that mask of satisfaction until the glorious day that I finally left, taking away nothing more and nothing less than an arsenal of masks and the guile to wear them.
A studious nerd who pulls off A’s continuously or a lucky procrastinator who manages to slide by with the bare minimum effortlessly. I seem to float between these personae, often arbitrarily based off of my whims but sometimes calculated as well. To people who barely know me, I find it quite fun to choose the latter and see how they react since usually most people believe the former, which I suppose I lead them to believe and don’t mind doing so. I enjoy feeling smart: there’s a form of respect that tags along in a community such as ours. And so, if people wish to believe in what they seem to perceive then sure, I’ll let them. It’s a mask that I easily take on and off. Honestly though, I lean very far toward the latter, and when my closer friends see through that mask, I am slightly disappointed at the loss of control I once had—the loss of innocent revelry.
Putting on these masks, I seem to aim to control the flow of thoughts around me: Quiet and Timid divert attention while Lively and Weird attract it. In shaping opinion, I rule over the superficial. But do I really want this? In my opinion, it is quite superficial to dictate in this way. And so, in wearing these masks, in pretending to be what I am not, I damn myself to my own contempt.
I enjoy reading your post. I agree that it is superficial to say that you present yourself as yourself based upon the different circumstances you have to face. I believe that in some degree, you are presenting yourself because it is part of you. For the person in the indentured servitude, what is presented can be tolerance and obedience. For you, you present yourself as a very smart individual. Although it is true that a person can not present their full self to others, there would still be some quality of that person that can be seen just like when we can see through the eyes through the hole of the mask.
Thats a nice way to describe your outward personalility and how you used a mask to attempt to portray it.
I really like your writing style. not complicated but have deep meanings
Your blog posts get better and better each time. You usually imagery to express your thoughts, so I was a little thrown off. I still love your word choice and the clarity of each of your main points.
Very true and deep post. Mask is a really good symbol. I have a lot of them too
If I walk into a room and everyone’s studying quietly, I instantly become quiet as well. If I find myself being sent to the dean’s office, I suddenly become contrite and apologetic. If I meet someone at a piano competition who plays way better than me, I’m humble and respectful. Being under different circumstances is a change in environment I have to adapt to. This means that while I’m adapting, I’m not entirely myself. I don’t give myself a completely new personality, but I am totally different when being in unique situations. I’m different in different places, situations, and with different people because unique circumstances draw unique reactions.
Once, I had a friend who I knew since I was young. I talked and shared about everything with him, rather of my happiness or my sadness. However, my sister told me that she had seen me acting differently toward his parents than to him. She said how I act like a quiet, well mannered person in front of his parents while acting playful and fun towards my friend. This experience made me realize something I’d always thought differently about. Before, when I observed people acting differently with different people, I looked down on them as two-faced. However, seeing the incident through my own eyes made me realize that different reactions come from different people, but no one is one-dimensional. Everyone has multiple sides, and it takes different circumstances to bring them out.
Every time I end up in a situation that I’m not familiar with, I will behave differently. I believe that everyone does this, but it’s less palpable in some people than others. Or, some people may be able to analyze and get used to strange circumstances more quickly than others. They will be their regular self, not because they don’t change, but because the change is already over. It’s not that the change is over, but that it was completed and reversed, bringing them back to their original self. This ability isn’t necessarily a good thing because bringing out new sides of you isn’t creating another personality, but discovering what’s already there. In a sense, this is self-discovery, which can only lead to a better you.
I never really thought of that before. I always believed that you could only be described by one characteristic. I guess that's why I've always been confused on how to define myself.
Anyway, you have many examples that support your main point. Your conclusion really sums up your post very well and even made me reconsider my own beliefs.
Famous figures throughout history have always had their faults. Sadly in our history books there is little mention of what problems they had, and instead focuses on all the positive points. On the other hand the “villains” of history are portrayed as terrible human beings that deserved to fail the way they did. Richard Nixon is a spectacular example, he is commonly shown as a scumbag politician best known for the Watergate scandal. Students are only shown one side of Nixon’s presidency and leave out what contributions that he made. Unbeknownst to a good portion of the public, Nixon was responsible for the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency and enforced desegregation in Southern schools. On the other hand Bill Clinton is typically remembered as a great president because during his term in office the economy was doing relatively well and the United States was happy. What people do not know of is his many extramarital affairs which portray him in a much darker light.
It is cliché to say “history is written by the victors”, but in a sense is very true. If the outcome of World War 2 had been different, would the history books have been written differently? Instead of the great United States conquering the evil Germans, it would have been the capitalist Americans infringing on the sovereignty of Germany. Would it have been different if the events of 9/11 took place on Pakistan soil instead of American soil? There are always two sides to a story with victors and losers. Japan has a very different perspective on the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, where they felt the attack was unwarranted and a cruel use of technology. The United States justifies the bombings as a necessary use of force and the loss of civilians was just collateral damage.. As long as there are different sides there will always be conflicting view points.
Schools in the United States often fail to share both sides of the story and downplay events in its own history. Take for example Japanese internment camps clearly a violation of the many civil liberties of the people and also is clearly stated in the constitution. Out of shame it is commonly overlooked or not mentioned of these camps in the United States. Even in Arcadia the Santa Anita Race track was used as an internment camp where nearby citizens with Japanese ethnicity were forced to move into these camps. Another great example is the U.S.’s involvement in Vietnam and leading to the Vietnam war, the politicians at the time felt that as a developed country it had the responsibility to stop communism from spreading. The war ended in a complete failure, our troops were dying and had done nothing to defeat communism. The U.S. ultimately had to withdraw from the war because it was losing against the Vietcong and had no other choice. The Vietnam War is the war we lost, but as the history books put it the U.S. had won.
I liked how you incorporated the examples into your post. I also agree that the books tend to put America in a greater light than other countries.
That's interesting, I would say both Clinton and Nixon are thought of as bad presidents. Great read though.
I really liked how your writing was filled with examples! Especially in the second paragraph, you did a good job of offering insight to different perspectives.
"Smile! Let's take a picture!"
"On the count of three say, 'Cheese!' "
Both my parents, especially my father, love taking pictures whenever we go to any event or place that isn't local. And when they take pictures, they don't just take one but a couple of the same poses to ensure a good shot.
"Are we done yet? We've taken enough already!" My sisters and I would complain when we were younger and didn't know better.
"These are for memories and for looking back to see how much you've grown!" My parents scolded me and my sisters.
Now, as I browse through photo album after photo album of numerous birthday parties, trips, and random silly pictures, I have come to appreciate the photos more so than I would have when I was nine. Thank you Mom and Dad!
Photographs help stimulate and recall memories though they may not be as vivid or as faint as some memories we hold. Photos can only depict so much of the truth while memories can be more accurate and specific about a person.
If tomorrow were to be my last day to live, I want to be remembered neither as the person I am now nor the person I was when I was younger. I would want to be remembered as a whole, of how I changed, like a timeline, so there is not quite just one specific word to pinpoint and describe me. I would not want people to hold idyllic and slightly inaccurate memories of me. Only a small portion of me would be depicted if only joyful and good moments or bad of me were to be remembered. If people were to remember me as I am now, they wouldn't get the full picture of me because I am still young. I am still growing, maturing, learning, and I may not be who I am now five or even ten years from now. We are constantly changing, whether it be personality, physical appearance, or health, so there isn't a fixed way to describe us unless we've always been a certain way our whole entire life without changing. So, if I were to be remembered, I would like to be remembered as a story, an accurate one, of course, and then perhaps summarized in a few sentences. That way, these memories of me would paint a complete picture of me and be more meaningful.
innovative way to incorporate dialogue in the beginning to pull the reader in. Also i liked how you used photos to describe how you would like to be remembered.
I liked the point you made about having a timeline of your life because we do change over the years. I also liked the dialogue you used in the beginning of your post.
I loved how you centered your post around photographs! Good piece.
Good use of dialogue as an attention grabber. Glad that you used photography as an example.
I like the beginning of your paragraph, very eye catching!
Your post makes me feel appreciate memories with my family. I also enjoyed reading about how you wanted to be remembered as a whole.
I build different faces for different situations. Generally, there are only two faces. The first face is the one I use when I am around friends. It’s more relaxed and comfortable then my other face, which is used for more serious situations such as talking to adults or an interview. I’m not saying that I change my personality; I want my personality to come through. I just wouldn’t use a casual tone with adults because it seems inappropriate. It’s like watching people in a courtroom. Everyone is formal and polite, and you don’t see the defendant talking to the judge like they’ve been best friends since elementary school.
Different situations need different faces, regardless of who it is. If that judge were off-duty it would be okay to talk like friends, but in a courtroom the judge commands respect, and talking like friends would hurt his appearance.
I would rather hold accurate memories of my friends and family. It may include some bad moments with arguing or crying, but that’s how it was. If I were to hold idyllic memories, it would give an inaccurate representation of my relationships with them. I’d rather hold those real memories than lose them. In the film “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” the main characters choose to erase their memories of each other. By the end of the film, Joel (the main character) realizes that he made a mistake and wishes to stop the process, but it can’t be stopped. The fact is that even though bad memories exist, the good ones still outweigh them. When I look back, I doubt the bad parts of an accurate memory will be the first thing I think of when I think of my friends and family. I’ll be thinking of that day at Disneyland or that trip to Florida.
Similarly, I would want people to remember me as I am. I know I have faults, but those faults make me who I am. They’re an integral part of me and ignoring them is like disposing half of who I am. My friends and family probably will remember me for me. Everyone has good moments, but if that was the only thing people remembered, we’d be living in a fictional perfect world. Oh, Benedict Arnold was a great general. LeBron James helped Cleveland so much. By only remembering people at their best, parts of the truth is lost. Benedict Arnold betrayed America and LeBron James left Cleveland for Miami. I’d rather have an accurate representation so people know who I was. Even with my faults, I think history will remember me more favorably than I deserve. As I said earlier, people remember the good more than the bad, and it has repeatedly been this way. What would make me any different?
I am glad I can see your relaxed and comfortable face rather than the serious one. I like your idea of faults make who we are
I have a friend who I haven’t seen for 4 and a half years. We don’t talk often due to our busy schedule and we haven't met up for 4 years because when one can the other can’t. It’s how its been for the past 4 years yet our friendship is as strong and durable as it was when we were in middle school. But then again that might just me trying to protect myself from the reality of our friendship possibly deteriorating. I can honestly say that if he was to die tomorrow I wouldn’t hold the accurate memories that I would want of him. Possibly because I would shield myself from the bad things he has done or merely the fact that I hadn’t seen him in 4 years and that hes changed in some way, shape, or form. But even if I had accurate memories of him and even if I knew all the bad things he did, I wouldn’t have the courage to think of him badly. I would talk about him as if he was the greatest person I have ever known. I would try to glorify his existence and if someone were to ask about him I would say only the good things he has done and block out the bad.
Personally, I wouldn’t want my memory to be glorified. I would want an accurate memory of who I was and what I did. Whether I was a bad or a good person in someones eyes. I would want all my friends and family to remember me as the person I am now. Not who I was and not who I could have been. I may not be the greatest person in the world but if I were to die right now the only regret I would have is going to school for the past 17 years of my life. But even in my school life I wouldn't have any regrets because even though school was tedious I’ve made some of my best memories there.
Though I would like to be remembered accurately I do not expect people to. I would not expect them to be able to remember the bad things I did. Because when someone dies I tend to think of them in a positive light and glorify their existence in the world. If I am to do this I’m sure others do it also. As of whether how history will depict me I can honestly say it can go both ways. They will either depict me positively or negatively because I have done good and I have done bad also.
I sometimes build different faces for different situations and different people, but I try to stay who I really am most of the time. Last month, my father invited one of his business partner and his wife to our house for dinner. Before they came, my mother kept telling me to be polite and to not talk much because this man was important to my father's company. During the dinner, my mother chatted with his wife. Since I was the same age as her son, the woman talked a lot about what her son had done and the classes her son had taken in high school. I did not like the way she talked because I could tell that she tried to show how great her son was in her words, and she kept questioning my mother to compare her son with me. When my mother told her that I was taking Japanese at high school, she asked my mother why she let me take such a useless class. She then suggested me to take Spanish because she believed Spanish was much more useful than Japanese. Although her words and egotism annoyed me, I stayed quietly and smiled, pretending that I was interested in her words because my mother said her husband was important to my father's business.
When she said that her son struggled with regular physics class even though he seemed to be perfect in every other classes, I told her that I had taken three years physics courses. She appeared to be shocked, and asked me how I learned physics. I informed her that I did not put in any special efforts except sitting on the uncomfortable stool to sleep during class time. I also told her that I could provide some help if her son continued to struggle with such an easy class. She did not response to my 'kindness', and she finally stopped talking about her son.
In fact, I was not really good at physics even though I always did well on my tests. I had a tutor twice a week to teach me physics when I was in AP Physics C, and I had done uncountable practice tests before the AP Exam. However, I never lied about my efforts. I always told the truth to my friends and physics classmates when they asked me how I studied Physics. I built a different face for that woman simply because her husband was so important to my father that I did not want to offend her, and even thought I was arrogant in response to her egotism, I still tried to be amiable by asking if her son wanted some help. I like to stay who I really am most of the time because I do not like pretending, yet I build different faces for some people that I do not want to offend when I feel like they do not deserve my respects.
I like your reactions and response to that annoying lady. I totally agree with you that we treat different people differently.
Out of all the blog posts, I honestly empathize the most with this one. Clearly there was no need for bells or whistles as just the content alone—not to underemphasize that in any way—kept me reading till the end.
Maybe I'm biased; most likely I am since I'm in your Japanese class, but the sincerity woven through your words is enough to have me sold.
Continue speaking from the heart; great post.
A picture can bring back all the memories related to it. As human being, we tend to only recollect the most importance memories, which are often the best. When my family members are looking at a picture of me, I would like them to remember me as who I am. Memories should bring warmth to people’s hearts. They should provide my family members with full images of me. I do not want them to forget my shortcomings. Those are what make me unique. When my family members recall all the memories, I hope they would recognize me as a cheerful and optimistic child who never gives up hope. A child who has desires to achieve more and more even if there are obstacles in his way.
The truth hurts. The truth hurts. If I could choose to remember my friends in a specific way, it would be in an idyllic manner. For me, I prefer to see more of the good sides instead of the bad. Not everything is perfect. Why do I have to recall accurate memories of someone, which may cause hurtful effect on me. The main reason we choose to remember things is because we want to be able to recall those times when we are alone or feeling down. Only those peaceful, charming memories will be the remedies.
Right now, I have a very well rounded family. My parents and grandparents care about me very much, and so do I care about them. My grandparents raised me for 12 years of my life. We built a strong connection between each other. My parents take care of me now. They provide me with food and shelter. They pay for every necessity in my life. There is nothing in the world that can compare to love among family members. Every one of us is willing to give for each other without expecting any returns. Without family, no one will care about me as much. I would be scared to lose anyone among them.
If I were to die today I would want to be remembered for my whole life. My good times and my bad. If read on a lot of the posts on here saying that they would want to be remembered for who they are now. That they don't think that they're past is good enough to be remembered. But your past is who you are. It's the reason that you are who you are today. Your past mistakes and achievements helped shape the person that you want to be remembered as.
I would like to be remembered for all of me because thats what everyone that truly cares for me will remember, all of me. I'm not the person I want to be to everyone I want to be but I am working on it. I constantly try to make myself a better person so that anybody could come to me for help. That's what I think is he whole reason for growing into an adult. To find flaws you might possess and fix them.
Once one flaw is fixed the next one falls right into the place the Other one was and you start working on that. You can't please everyone but you can do what you honk needs to be done so that you become what you feel is a perfect person.
I am also very scared of losing my loved ones. They mean a lot to me and I would be lost without them. Most of them have shaped me into the person I am riday. The person who i myself is very proud of but who is always is improving. My family has always been there for me and I will always be there for them.
I feel the same way as you and I can clearly see the bonds between you and your loved ones!
I am very much afraid of loosing the ones I love. That is a something that I have forever feared. Although, I am very much afraid of this, I risk myself quite frequently for obtaining this consequence. My morals sometimes tend to be one sided when it comes to this topic. I fear of being left, but on several occasions in the past, I have acted like it was irrelevant to me, by making reckless decisions that hurt others. I expect to be forgiven, and when I am forgiven I sometimes take that as a chance, that I use over and over again. This is wrong, but it is a flaw in my personality, that I do not have to ability to control at the moment. I know there is always room for improvement and this is where improvement fits in. Once karma kits, I do not easily forgive as well. I so not trust, and I never forget. Why am I like this? I have no idea! One day I will learn.
I tend to suffer from the fear of being judged by others. A loved one once asked me, “Why should I care if people judge me?” Every once in a while, doesn’t everyone? There are some people who I notice that absolutely do not care what other people think of them. This is very hard for someone like me to understand. Isn’t that what America is about today? Not only America, but the whole world is all about competition. They dress, walk, talk, and act careless, like no one is watching. This is great and rather lucky for them, as for I, I know that the world is watching a judging me constantly. Everything I do, everyone eventually finds out, sometimes I wish I had a little more privacy, but that is like wishing on a star that I can never see. I know that I am in the spotlight in many occasions and I have been physically and harshly judged before with modeling, but that is so called “constructive criticism.” I wonder how is this constructive, nothing has been constructed while making people feel self conscious all of the time.
I know who I am and who I want to be. I am not there yet, but I know that one day I will be. I know that it is okay to not completely know myself right now, because I believe, that is what high school is for. It is a time to grow and learn, who you really are, what you like, and who you want to be. I do not necessarily mind being judged, because it motivates me to be at the best of my ability. I am true myself and I love who I currently am. There may be times where it is necessary to put on different faces in appropriate situations such as work and school. Otherwise, I know exactly who I am and I stay true to my personality because I know that it is bright and uplifting, I hope that I can remain this way as the years grow old.
I really like your last paragraph. It's so positive, I hope I can be that confidence one day.
As a Christian-Catholic, I center my life around God. Everyday I strive to demonstrate my love for Him through my love for His children. Thus, among many things, I aspire to be forgiving, respectful, and selfless.
After noticing me in the hallways, she calls out my name. At the sound of her voice, I flinch. I continue to walk pretending to have heard nothing. Again she calls my name. After rolling my eyes, I turn around and face her with a smile. We chat for a few minutes and finally depart to our respective classrooms.
"Whew! Glad that's over!"
Although I aim to be a forgiving person, I find it difficult to forgive others in certain situations.
"I'm so tired of your laziness, Raphael! No wonder you messed up your second semester last year!"
"For the last time, I'm trying my best! And your constant nagging doesn't help at all!"
The argument rages on. At the end of it, I bury my face into the pillow wishing I didn't talk back: wishing I had respected my father.
Last summer, together with Helping Hands Medical Missionaries, I ventured to poor villages in Chiapas, Mexico to provide free healthcare and spread the Gospel. There I endured mosquito-infested bedrooms, water-less restrooms, meager and repetitive meals, and sleepless nights. Despite the discomfort, the happy villagers there made it worthwhile. As they gratefully smiled at me, I smiled too in return. Still do they motivate me to be more selfless day after day.
Thus far, my actions define me more as selfless rather than forgiving and respectful. Therefore, I dedicate myself to improving on those weaker areas to ultimately show God my love for Him and His children.
I absolutely love the structure of your writing. You cleverly weave your stories in and out and it makes for an amazing read. Enjoyed it a lot!
Your writing structure is interesting as usual and always a great read.
You're so spiritual and kind, and its fun going to the blog to read the next interesting post you put up.
Once I pass away and everything is said and done, I would like to have the people I love and care for remember me as the person I am. I'd like them to recall all of the memories, the good and the not so
good, as well as the qualities that I attain. I would want people to remember me for more than the cliché qualities such as honest, funny, etc, but unique qualities such as there to help when relationships crumble.I would hope that those who will remember and keep me with them in their hearts after I'm gone will be the genuine people, like my family and dearest/closest friends. I think that they know me well enough to know what I would want done, and respect me for my decisions.
I'm more afraid of loosing the ones I love than afraid others loosing me. Since the day I was born my mother has loved me and has take care of me. Because my parents split up, I grew up only with my mother. Through the years my mother has become more than just my mother, she has become a father and a friend. A friend I can trust with my deepest secrets because I know she will never let ou trust down. Maybe because I grew up without a father the bond that exist between me
and my mother is stronger than any other guy that has his mom and dad. It terrifies me to think what i
i would do the day my mother is gone. I'm afraid of loosing her one day.
Lastly if I were to die
today I think history would not speak of me favorably. At this point of my life, I know and believe I haven't done many good things, but I have done things that I regret deeply. 3 years ago I went to Mexico to visit my family and friends living there. It was Christmas time and my family is used to have a big dinner on the 24th of December, well that night I decided not to attend to the dinner with my family and decided to go party with some friends instead. A month after my cousin died and I deeply regret not being there with him that night.
What a sad ending. At least you are still young and have all the time in the world to make up or do something you can be proud of.
When I die people should remember me exactly as I am. Sure, it would be cool for people to relate my image with heroism, but I’m not a hero. One of my favorite artists describes very well how I feel about people remembering me after my death. “I only wish that on the day I day / there’ll be that many people by my side / who will say such amazing things / about who I was and how I lived / and I pledge to you that I will live my life / so that the preacher doesn’t have to lie.” (Eric Ayotte) It would be great if when I die people stay by my side and tell stories of the great things I did, but if they’re not truthful, I don’t want it. I don’t want my friends or family to lie; I don’t want the preacher to lie. I don’t want the preacher to have to lie. So I try live by this one lyric. I will live my life so that the preacher doesn’t have to lie.
Our society has developed to remember people better than they were. When somebody dies we feel empathy and don’t want to tarnish their image. “Don’t speak ill of the dead,” we say. Lindsay Lohan is called a mess and is thought of and talked about as a “trainwreck.” If a car hit and killed her tomorrow it would be tragedy. The story would be all over the news, alerting the masses of this horrible loss. Our society believes ridiculing someone will encourage them to try harder. Ridiculing someone when they’re dead won’t help them any. So when they die we praise their image or at the very least show it respect. We do it to let them rest in peace, but Michael Jackson’s been dead a year and we haven’t let him rest yet.
As Dante moves through Hell reviewing his past, I do the same in my mind. Just like the rest of us I make mistakes; I sin. When Dante progresses to a new circle I recall actions long forgotten and things recent that concern the next sin. I first began relating the sinners to myself when Dante reached the Gluttons. I sometimes enjoy sitting on my couch with a box of “Chips Ahoy!” and a glass of milk, snacking until the box is empty. Is this something I should feel guilty about? Questions like this continued to pop up in my head as the Sullen came in to the story. Sometimes I suppress anger so as to not hurt people. I have seen wrathful people and have chosen the opposite to be a much more suitable option for me. Should I feel bad about repressing? Dante expects too much from humans. He expects perfection, even a cleansed mind. Sometimes we just can’t rid our head of certain thoughts and that shouldn’t be punished; it should be accepted. My Hell would look far different from Dante’s.
I feel more afraid of the ones I love will lose me some day in the future rather than afraid to lose them. Not because ruthless and cold corrode my heart, but in contrary reluctant to those people I love and care occupy my heart. As a timid girl, I usually held myself in a different situation, which I express rarely of my inner emotions to the ones I love. So that makes people hard to probe my mind. Most of people may think that I have strength to easily forget the grief in a short time and strong enough to live independently without the ones I love, so I do not fear lose them; however, the prediction of my thought sometimes becomes inaccurate because instead of saying that I try to overcome the heartbroken alone rather than make the ones I love live in disillusion and grief.
As Gilgamesh, he witness the death comes upon his intimate friend Enkidu, but he cannot help. The rest of his life fulfilled with unlimited grief. For me, I worry about my love ones follow Gilgamesh and live in depression. I cannot imagine the scene that once they lose me as well as lose the one who they care the most; therefore, the only way to express my love leads me to choose to be a substitute for them to endure the sufferings.
I would like to remember my friends and family in a sample way, which I can save the meaningful memories and forget about losing. Also, I wish others remember me in the same way because death covers negative sides of people in the living world. In other words, after people died, the best way to forbid sadness can be concern with nice things they wish to finish but not have chance to do and help them achieve their dreams. This way leads people to forget about the grief of losing and left with valuable memories of contribution for the dead people who we have loved.
I want people to remember me when they get to the bottom of my onion layer. When I first meet people I am very shy and guarded. I am usually awkward around new people. If they want to get to know me and I enjoy their company my layers peel off. Once they get to the bottom I show my true colors. These onion layers are with my friends. I am the baby of both of my families. With my family I think they think of me as a good girl. Based on the fact I don’t have many tasks under my belt like they do. I cannot let myself go around my family like I do with my friends. My cousins are older then me but not by much. Most of them are nineteen to twenty three. I tend to annoy them so I would not say they are the people that build me up.
The person that does build me up is one cousin in particular. I can be myself with my friends and her. She is twenty and I have grown up with her. She is from my dad’s side. I have always admired and respected my cousin since the moment she started to play barbies with me when no one else did. I knew she hated playing with me because she was too old. The fact that she kept going let me know that she was something special. Losing her is unfathomable to me because she has always been such a big part of my life. I can tell her things that are going on and she can give me good advice. I yearn to see her everyday. Due to her busy schedule that is not the case right now. I think it is kind of weird thinking I can never think a bad thought about her. Is this normal? It’s weird though because she is more overprotective then my other sisters. My cousin is like me in many ways maybe that is why we get along so well.
She taught me to not let people take advantage of me. Most of my life I have been a doormat and I didn’t do anything to change that. I used to have a friend that would walk all over me. I think I can still see the footprints on my back. The footprints are fading. I tried to make her think I was cool like her so I would not be myself around her. After a while I saw the light. My older cousin had a similar experience so that’s how we learned together. Our problem was that we tried to please everyone. After a while we knew to put ourselves first before others. She is two years older then me and I can honestly say she is my favorite person in the world. I get comforted knowing that someone loves me out there. I know that when I think about her I will never have a bad memory.
An interesting perspective and I feel that I would like to be remembered in a similar way.
Although you rise like the sun in my heart again, one day, you’ll be like the setting moon. Departing at our usual time, we embark on the journey back to the comfort of our own home. From Friday after school till dawn, my friends and I abandon our thoughts revolving around school, and enjoy ourselves by doing whatever we wish to do. Though our friendship seems like a struggle to maintain at times, the moments we share together validate its worthiness. The real challenge is commitment. On rare occasions, we loathe each others’ presence. However, I’m completely fine with that. I have other friends anyways, right? Are they still my friends? Even though I ignored them for months?
My weakness is commitment. Honestly, once I find something annoying and irritating, I immediately drop it and leave it. There’s no point in bringing myself down right? No, there’s a reason to hold onto things, especially the people that care for you. During my youth, I encountered my first true friendship online. I found a friend that shares the same interests and hobbies as mine, he was like my brother. Even if our brotherhood felt unbreakable, it only took one of us to end it. I made friends at school and spent most of my time with them, leaving my brother-like friend alone and waiting for me to arrive at my house. Fed up with my absence, I guess he began to replace me, like I did to him.
As I walked home from my friend’s house, I called my online friend to check up on how he’s doing. “Sorry man, I’m on the phone with my bro, talk to you another day alright?” My pace rapidly increased. Grief, regret, pain, sorrow, and remorse slowly crept into my heart. I ran home. I was jealous, I admit it. After hours of bugging him to talk to me, our friendship steadily rebuilt itself.
It’s Friday. It’s been a month since I last felt any grief. I made my way home, breathing in the fresh air, while jamming to the playlist on my iPhone. I have 31 missed calls from Canada.
A very poetic first paragraph, which drew me into your post.
Deception is a sin I commit every day. I put on different personalities for different people. I treat a few with respect, while I put on a completely stoic, and hateful face for others. My personalities are a combination of my facial expression, attitude, and general behavior towards a person or situation. I feel like high school has required me to make multiple faces, but not to be accepted, just to be able to maintain friendships. One of my friends responds better to more abrupt and impulsive behavior, while some of my other friends enjoy my quieter and more reserved self. If I showed these same personalities to a different group of friends, I would be judged and seen as a nuisance.
The fact that I can be criticized just by switching personalities shows the stark contrast between each of my personalities. I have had to create completely different personas in order to please my ever changing group of friends. I don't do this because I want to become popular or because I want more friends. The friends I have right now have been my very close friends since the beginning of high school. They changed when I didn't. That isn't necessarily a bad thing but my fear of losing my loved ones has caused me to change myself and adapt to different situations.
I have a certain faith in my friendships and with my loved ones. I believe that they would not try to abandon me or distance themselves from me unless I messed up personally. I have always been afraid that I would alienate or insult my loved ones. I have managed to alienate a few friends by changing too much and forgetting to change personas. The required change during high school may sound ridiculous, but it is the only way that I can manage to keep in touch with all of my friends.
I understand how different people like different things and have different expectations but shouldn't your true friends accept you and like you for who you are naturally?
I believe that I am everything to people the way I want them to see me. Some friends I am a party buddy or just a “bro” to hang out with. Then there are others that I willingly get in the middle of their business just because we are that close of friends. Majority of my friends know that they can come to me with anything and I will answer them honestly and try to help them out with anything. That’s why just recently when my friend was going through something hard he calls me because he knows that I would drop anything I’m doing just so that I can be there to listen to him and keep him from doing anything stupid.
Well I really can’t tell how my friends or family would remember me but I just hope they remember. I would want people to remember me as who I am not more favorably or more negative but someone who will go through thick and thin with them and have their back on whatever that may happen. Family would be a different story I would want them to view me more favorably since they are my blood and they are more likely to talk about me in the future towards the new generation. Well I just hope history remembers me at all because being hated by some is better than being forgotten by all but I would rather be remembered as a good person.
I prefer to remember my friends in the most accurate way possible. They wouldn’t really be friends if I felt any ill towards them. While some memories might hurt me remembering the fun times and the hard times is what makes them precious and important to me.
I will definitely want people to remember me at my best, which is obviously not my current stage. There is still a long way to go in order to become the kind of person I would like to be. Thus, regarding some of my past, I would prefer to keep my sins to myself, instead of sharing them to the rest of the world like Dante does. It amazed me that Dante has the courage to confront and confess his sins. I believe each person has their own life journey to conquer. Mixed with one’s background and past experiences, the taste of every smile, every tear, every sweat along the life journey can only be tasted by the individual at that very moment. Thus, I do not have the strength to let the world around me see through my entire life.
I believe that I am the one that afraid to lose the ones I love more than they are afraid of losing me since I rely on them more than I can imagine. Hence, I will choose to remember my friends and family in an accurate way. By having all the memories imprinted in my mind, I can clearly recall every single piece of them, regarding happiness or sorrow. It is all those obstacles we faced, happiness we shared that shape up the precious relationships between me and my loved ones. Of course, I want to cherish those memories clearly and precisely. However, when it comes to the impressions people have toward me, I wouldn’t ask them to remember me as the way I wanted. I will do my best to reach those self-expectations.
I do not build up different faces for different situations. I am still who I am no matter what. It is the surroundings that expose different part of me. Yet, I wish to become the sun of my loved ones. I desire to be the person who brings joy and pleasure to their daily lives, the sunshine who brighten up their darkest stages, and most of all, the reason for them to truly smile whenever they think of me.
In my life there are very very few people that I want to keep in my life and I try my absolute best to stay in their life. I don't do this by pretending to be someone I'm not. I live life by just being myself but also with the consideration of others. I don't only focus on myself, I realize people around me and take the time to get to know them. If they don't life me for who I am, then, that's just too bad. Even if I do really like this person and I do want to stay in their life, I'm not going to change who I am just for one person. They simply aren't worth it.
If I was to change who I was just for this one person, then the friendship, relationship, isn't real, is based of lies. I would always have to put effort into acting differently, just to keep that relationship, and I would always be stressed, knowing that my friend or whoever will discover who I truly am and may not life what he or she finds. Try to be another person or act other than yourself, will lead you to lie, lie about your past, who you are. So now the relationship is fake and dishonest. Why would anyone want a relationship like that?
That's not how I would want to be know by my close friends, know as a fake, I want to be know as me, not someone who I pretended to be. If the people close to you accept you for who who you are then those are the people who you should spend time with, the people you should care about. For me knowledge of people's past is big for me. I like to know what shaped them to be the person they are today. If my close friend chose to tell me, then, I know the have trust in me. It is very rare for me to judge someone about their actions, about their past. But those rare occasions, the actions of someone's past usually go against my deeply held moral or beliefs. Most of the time I wouldn't deny their friendship but, for those very very few that i do choose to accept, I spend a big time of the day talking to him/her. This is the point in my life that I begin to choose what friends I want to keep. I choose now because after high school I want to see all of my friends again, the will all attend their different colleges and eventually never speak to each other ever again. I only put effort into certain people, people that i care about, I only care about their image of me, and nobody else.
Many people believed that idyllic memories are more significant than the accurate memories, while others believed that the accurate memories are more important than the idyllic ones. If I could choose to remember my friends and family in a specific way, I would prefer to hold the accurate memories, even though "I" will be the only person who hold these memories and benefit from or be harmed by them. Idyllic memories are positive and wonderful memories that may bring one happiness and optimism. On the other hand, the accurate memories included all kinds of memories, for instance, the unforgettable ones, and the miserable ones. Accurate memories with sad and undescent events may bring one down. Idyllic memories are the "happy part" of the accurate memories, which means it's just partially true. The way of remembering friends and family members is just as important as the way of staying true to oneself, because holding a small part of memories will have a potential of missing the most significant one. If I could choose to remember my friends and family in a specific way, I would not mind taking the accurate memories. At least, I understood how much they care about and love me.
well, this message can apply to how I would like people to remember me. Personally, I would like people to know me and remember me as who I am, because friends will not over-estimated and underestimated the real me in this way. Being over-estimated by others will bring one pressure. Being under-estimated by others will bring one unhappiness and a sense of unfulfillness. Therefore, I would rather people remember me as who I am . However, things do not always go as we wish. Friends may not choose to remember me in the way I choose here. and history may remember me even more negatively than I deserved. But still, I prefer others remember me as who I am.
I'm more afraid of losing the ones I love than they lose me, because losing someone is a direct feeling to oneself. So if my parents unfortunately have an accident and passed away, I would be the only one to face all the problems and difficulties sadly and helplessly. However, if I were the one to die, of course they would be sad and I would feel sorry for them, but at least I would not need to worry about the effects of losing someone. One less problem makes life easier.
The internet is a wonderful place in the world. You can get entertained or rather entertain, in my case. I run and organize a humble Youtube channel and upload videos that are like that of Freddie Wong's, but obviously not on his level. Nothing is exempt from having downsides, especially the internet. There is a type of people who we would call Trolls. They live solely to anger and post comments that are extremely off topic. There are also haters and others who act tough and incite pointless arguments. They cower behind their false usernames and show a face that they want people to view them as. I am also guilty of doing this several times and also in life.
I am in real life a generally reserved person. I don't yell often (except at non-cooperating people while filming) and I keep comments to myself. On the internet, I am polite to everyone, no matter who they are. If there is a troll, I usually post a witty comment in reply that gets thumbed up. But several times I have lost patience on several forums and went harder on people that were rude. It is a response reflex that all humans have. In different situations we act differently, as I have done.
In games like Team Fortress 2, I pretend to be a pro gamer even though I am average. Many people try to pretend they are the best. I met a person that claimed he was a professional film maker, and being the person I am, he caught my attention. He claimed that he had many clients and he was currently working on a project. I started talking to him and there was a very noticeable change in my diction. I used technical and film jargon and that boy (he sounded like one) was totally thrown off. I then knew that he wasn't who he said he was and I instantly called shenanigans. This goes to show that in different situations I changed from being a "pro gamer" into a "super knowledgeable film maker" instantly as a response to a certain situation.
You mad bro?
As I'm your is your intention, your troll picture caught my attention. So what ended up happening with the "professional film maker"?
He left the server because I caught him off guard and he ended looking like a fool. He left with his tail between his legs.
Haha, nice troll picture, it caught my intention as I scrolled down too
It's very true that people act differently online than they do in real life, sometimes drastically so. I for one is one such person. Online I'm very open and friendly, unafraid to talk to strangers or start up a conversation with a random person (I'm talking about online gaming here) but in real life, I keep to myself and stay quiet until someone approaches me with something. Over the years, I find more of my "online self" stepping out into the real world, but it still isn't the same. My guess is that when you're online, you're wearing a "mask" and masks are known to drawn out courage or turn you into a different person. It's the wonders of the internet.
Sorry for the long commentary, I just can really relate to this. I've been thinking about this for awhile whenever mean people purposely say things to hurt others seemingly without a care in the world.
Keep up your thought-provoking blogs!
This world is a peculiar one, in order for one to fit in one needs to have the skills to adapt to different situations at different times. We are taught as a young child that there is a time and place for everything; we are taught that for certain occasions we have to dress a certain way, speak a certain way, walk a certain way, and eat a certain way. We are taught how to assess a situation and arrange ourselves to perfectly match the situation at hand. Personally as a child I have learned these things, but soon as I grew up and matured more, I realized that this need to compose myself accordingly is quite ridiculous. This need to become something just to fit a certain circumstance is a luxury that no one should be forced to participate in. I personally don’t conform to society I dress how I want when I want, I don’t hide anything about my personality from anyone. I am who I am, and society has no right to change that. I’m not going to be forced to change my personality just to fit into society.
If I was asked the question, "What would you change if you could change anything about yourself?” I would reply, “Not a damn thing.” In modern society people often wonder who they are, and if that person is enough to satisfy everyone that they wish to satisfy. To me the concept of changing myself to satisfy the greed and selfishness of someone else is absolutely preposterous. I am everything that I wish to be to everyone I come in contact with, as long as I am being myself. I wouldn’t change a thing about myself because I know for a fact that as long as I do my best and try my hardest to be myself that I can satisfy those that are truly important to me.
If I were to somehow disappear right now I would want people to remember me for who I was. I want them to remember the everyday me, the me that they converse with every day, the me that is just regular plain old me. I want them to remember when I was at my best and when I was at my worst. In order for the memory of me to be truly valuable it has to be genuine. I want my friends, my family, and my peers to remember as the person that I was, just plain old me. I could honestly care less about what people think of my actions as long as I find them to be morally correct and I find them to have satisfied myself. As long as I fulfill what I wanted to I realized that who cares what others think, as long as I was me even at my best even at my worst, the plain old regular human being that I am is still the most important. I am just like everyone else; I’m not superior in any way to anybody else. I’ve had the same chances, experienced the same pain so why should they have to remember the best or the worst of me. I want everyone to remember me as plain old me, as the regular person that I was born as.
Losing anybody close to me would definitely strike a hole in my heart. Growing up, family wasn't always there to provide and give like a family should. Luckily for me, I met great people who would later become my best friends. I'm deeply afraid of losing my best friends and family. It would leave a hole in my heart forever and scar me for life. Your loved ones are the people you obviously not only love but the people you have unexplainable connections with and have a box full of memories with. These people know you inside and out, losing any of them would be losing apart of yourself.
I'm definitely more afraid of losing the ones I love because I just wouldn't know how to get through it. I'd like to hope my friends feel the same. It really goes both ways because either way someones losing someone and thats pain. I'm not as afraid as my friends losing me because I hope they would be happy with what I had to offer and cherish the moments they had with me and try to move on.
As I'm your is your intention, your troll picture caught my attention. So what ended up happening with the "professional film maker"?
Oops this was meant for Joseph's post. You can delete this. :]
According to Dante’s interpretations, I would definitely make it into Hell. No doubt about it, I have done wrongs in the past. I’m not sure what, if any, the process of repenting is, but I’ve always regretted any act that directly or indirectly hurt someone else. I feel I have done my best to make up for my wrongs, but Dante’s Hell is, in my opinion, ruthless and unforgiving. Of course, my Hell would look a bit different but I understand Dante’s reasons behind each punishment and think they are extremely appropriate and well thought out. My Hell would exclude Limbo. I completely disagree with Limbo and the unfair treatment towards unfortunate people either unbaptized or born before Christianity, especially when the individuals lived virtuous lives. I would have to keep the vestibule and its inhabitants only because the opportunists and “neutrals” actively chose to reject good as well. Otherwise, I think neutrality in general is fair and moral as long as no one really benefits.
I want everyone to remember me as a silent leader. When I die, I want my grave marker to read something along the lines of “Garrett Lee – led by example” (you get the idea). I think people view silence as a disability that limits someone’s ability to succeed, especially as a leader. My mom always tells me to speak up and share my opinions in school, arguing that the world needs leaders that talk and tell others what to do. I prefer to let my actions speak and not only show others what to do, but how to do something as well. I don’t think my mom agrees with the way I choose to share; however, I understand where she comes from and why she thinks a talkative leader is more effective and successful in life. Others will not pay attention to silent leaders unless they make some effort. Verbal leaders take matters into their own hands and go out to get attention. I hope that being passive will still allow me to stand out positively in history.
I do have different personalities for different people and places. I think it’s necessary to change your personality in front of different people and situations. Everyone is different and has different preferences. For example, I read a story about a Muslim girl, going to a university, who had very conservative parents; especially an “extremely religious” mother. She mentions that for three years, she lived a double-life that her parents didn’t know about in an attempt to nurture the small amount of independence she had around her family. At home/around her family, she would wear her headscarf while at school, she would take it off and change her clothes. In the process, she claims to have become “more confident, better-read” and even come to the conclusion that “there is no God” (kind of irrelevant, but interesting). Anyway, building different faces for different people and situations can be beneficial but can also be risky.
Nobody is perfect. Although I knew this, in eighth grade, my peers compelled me to believe that building a perfect image of myself to everyone else was all that mattered. To achieve this, I changed many aspects about myself. I took up swimming as a sport so that I had the potential to gain some sort of athletic achievements. I started to run regularly in the morning, right before school started because I wanted to look physically fit. I studied more so that I would routinely do well on my tests, and consequentially, 8th grade was the first year that I had obtained a perfect GPA. I finished my homework earlier, so that I could spend more time with my friends.
For the remainder of the 8th grade and for most of my first year in high school, I continued to uphold my convictions regarding the importance of maintaining a flawless image. It wasn’t until the spring semester of my freshman year that I finally realized just how futile it was to try and please everyone I knew. When it was time for the spring semester elections, I wholeheartedly believed that I would be able to win a position. During the election process however, I encountered something that would deter me from further pursuing a position in the sophomore council, something that taught me that attempting to meet everyone’s expectations was not only an exhaustingly difficult endeavor, but a foolish one as well. From then on until now, I have given up all hopes of trying to be a perfect person, someone who could somehow manage to satisfy all of his peers, family members, and teachers.
One may ask, why? Why is it so pointless to try and build a different image of oneself according for different people and situations, in order to meet everyone’s expectations? While it is rather easy to shape one’s own image in order to satisfy a single person, or even a number of people, trying to please all of those who surround us is a painstaking task because different people have different expectations, different desires and different affinities for others. In order to construct the perfect image of oneself for each and every other person, one would be required to essentially take on the face of countless people, and run the risk of losing oneself in the process. Rather than trying to maintain multiple identities to match numerous different situations, I choose to present myself as who I am to others. It is simply not worth the time and effort to change myself, to put together a perfect representation, to pretend to be someone who I am not, just to remain on good terms with others. I have come to believe that it’s okay if someone cannot accept a certain aspect of my character. As Dr. Seuss once said, “Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter”.
Thousands of thoughts raced through my mind. The spacious room was filled with chatters of noisy children, but I could only hear my heart beat louder and faster. I turned around to see her, and I mulled over the best icebreakers to introduce myself. I tried to control my breath, but it only sped up. I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and stood up. With a confident stride, I went up to her and placed my graded papers on her desk, bearing a gentle smile and gazing upon her face. In my perfect world, I would have slipped a “hello” and proceeded with an engaging conversation about school and family. I would charm her into giving me her number, displaying a jovial, yet mature character that she would fall in love with. But I didn’t. I couldn’t even utter a word. Disgusted and ashamed, I returned to my seat, waiting desperately for her to talk to me.
To my friends, I am the sarcastic, outgoing individual who does not refrain from expressing his opinions and criticizing others. To everyone else, I’m the shy, arduous student who encloses himself from the rest of the world. For strangers, I have a tougher time opening myself up; I feel awkward providing even a little information about me. With careful preparations and patience, I plan the perfect attitude and character I should assume, but I always consciously sabotage my own efforts. The problem lies beyond low self-confidence and sheer shyness. I’m afraid of rejection. If I’m already in the group, I can act whatever I want whenever I want, because my friends will accept me for who I am. If I’m not, why run the risk of rejection when I can easily avoid everyone in the first place? It is easier to be hated than to be forgotten.
So, I will continue to shelter myself within layers, protecting myself from the beautiful love and the sadistic corruption that exist at both ends of the moral spectrum. I shall switch from gregarious extrovert to cautious recluse and vice versa whenever the circumstances suit my preferences. Because of the craven decisions I make and plan to make, I will remain regretful and resentful of this part of me that prevents me from taking full advantage of my lifetime. My insecurities can ultimately lead to a life of unhappiness and loneliness, a life limited to only childhood friendships. For now, I will wait, hoping that someone or something can give me a compelling reason to be myself for everyone to see. My current reflections do not mean I will not continue to fight the fears that dictate my actions. Those stories of my failures to ward off my inner demons will never fade, but hopefully, the next ones I tell will have a happier ending.
Story of my life. Great intro: from the alliterative phrases to the engaging imagery, it had me wanting more right away. Beautiful diction: very assertively and effortlessly placed.
I believe anyone recognizing his or her own faults, and bold enough to post it publicly, does have the power to change them.
So continue on: ward off those demons. And I look forward to your next post.
I feel like I am everything I want to be in front of certain people. And I am not what I want to be in front of other certain people. I think I live up to the expectations of my peers and friends. But at the same time I feel that I do not meet the expectations that my parents hold for me. If I could choose to remember my family and friends in a specific way I would want to remember the memories accurately. As I grew up I didn’t really do much with my family. The memories I have relating to my family are very specific memories. Memories such as road trips, vacations, and what not.
I would like people to remember myself as who I am instead of someone I am not. I would hope my friends remember me as someone who is nice, outgoing, and friendly. I think my parents would respect my wishes and remember me for who I am and for what I will do for my family in the future. History will hopefully remember me for the positive things I will do instead for the negative.
Life is a very valuable thing. I am afraid to lose the ones I love, and I am afraid that they’ll lose me. I hope that I live long enough to see my grand children grow up and start a family. My close friend’s grandpa just passed away last year. Even though I was not blood related I still felt the pain the death caused the family.
No matter how hard I try, no matter how nice I am, no matter how bad I want to be a “good” person yet I can never please everyone around me. I don’t know why, but I found that I have the tendency to be nice to the people around me, even to those who I don’t like very much. In my world, I used different faces in different places, different situations, or different people. I built up these faces because my lack of self-confidence made me afraid to tear off the masks I am wearing; I don’t know what would happen if people see the “real” me. Would they still be my friends, would I lose everything I have, would my world change? While I was worrying about my “real” appearance; slowly, I began to realized I have so many faces that I don’t even recognized which of them is the real me. Although I knew I’m not the only one who would use different faces at different situation; as myself, I sometimes get tired of the roles I have played. However, I don’t feel regret because I want people to remember me with a good memory.
If I die one day, I wouldn’t want people remember me at my best or want people remember me at my worst because I want them remember me till the last day of their life. Every human-being is going to die sooner or later; however, no one is going to remember you after you die, just like they never know you were born. My grandma died before I was born, so I don’t have any memory about her. However, I have heard many things about; she was big-hearted, kind, educated, and smart. Due to her good personality, when she died many people had cried badly on her funeral, but yet the memories began to fade away as the time goes on. Nothing would still in our mind forever; the ability to “forget” things as the gift we received from God because people tend to forget things easily. The “best memory” in your mind may become less and less clear day after day, and finally you just remember this unclear dreamed image in your mind.
If I ended up to the Hell Dante described, I think my sin must be pretty bad. As far as the story goes, I found that I have almost all the sin he wrote in this book. I don’t considered I am a good person, but I don’t believe my ending would be that bad.
I believe that people build different faces when dealing with different people or situations. I put on different faces for different people because I know the people in front of whom I can be relaxed and funny while I know I need to be serious and considerate with the others. We often claim that we do not want to pretend to be someone we are not, but in reality, we often times have to (and it is natural to) present different attitudes in certain situations and when we encounter different people. As one grows up, one starts to play more than one roles in life, and therefore it is responsible and natural to behave in appropriate ways when tackling different issues.
I am the type of person who likes to remember others but do not want people to remember me. There are only very few people whom I would want them to remember me: my beloved friends and family. I know from experiences, and I have heard my elementary school and middle school classmates, family, and friends talk about me. Some comments are good while others are bad. I feel that I would rather be forgotten than to have people gossip about me or talk behind my back. For others who are insignificant in life, I don’t think it’s necessary for them to remember me. And for those who are important to me, I would want them to remember exactly who I am,
I am more afraid to lose the ones I love, because my life would not be complete and full of interesting things without them. I view them as one the purposes I live in this world. There are some people whom I can not imagine my life without them or ever lose them. My life would not be full of laughter without my best friends; I would never know how hard it is to keep a long-distance friendship, I would not know to overcome challenges without friends. Losing the ones I love means that I can no longer share the different memories with these people. It also means that I was left behind. Since I still have so many things that I want them to see, my growth and my achievements, I need them to be there with me. Because of losing them, I become depressed and disheartened. I must get used to the life without them and some of my hobbits may also change. Losing the one I love to is like losing a part of me: it feels not only painful, but also empty. Nothing can ever replace that part of the body any more.
When you die, someone is bound to remember you in some way. Wheather it's a good memory or a bad memory, someone could be thinking back about the people in their life, and there you are. The student who was always sleeping in class, snoring loudly. The stranger at school who they never really liked, for no reason at all. Or the kind stranger who helped you pick something up when you dropped it. Throughout your life, you impact people's lives, sometimes without even knowing it. People at school might remember me by my appearance. Nothing much. My friends would (hopefully) remember all of the good things about me, and all of the fun we had together. I may of had my mean and rude times, but one cannot keep a perfect image all the time. I assume that everyone who thought you as impotant to them would forget the bad things. In the end, I would want people to remember like how I was to them. I guess like everyone else, I don't 'want to be remembered in a bad way.
Because of my diffferent personalities, depending on who I'm with, everyone will remember me differently. I show a different personality on the internet, around good friends, and around strangers. When I'm around someone who I just met or don't know that well, I'm shy and tend to stay quiet. As for good friends, I'm more talkative, but even the way I act tends to differ around different friends. At times I'm confident, but sometimes I'm self-consciousness about the way I look or am.
I know that I would remember people positively, and only remember the goods things, because at that point, the bad things don't matter anymore.
typo whether but i liked your post I also would like to be remembered in a good way i think everyone would.
After reading about Dante’s journey, I was amazed at how he dove into the depths of hell to define what soul he had left. I feel that society back then was better in the sense of their morals and conscience, the standards that they upheld. They executed certain things or repented for their guilt, sins, and genuinely felt bad for certain wrongdoings. Dante’s ability to construct a whole novel on his own mistakes just blows my mind. The amount of moral integrity makes he commands compels me because I don’t hold myself up to the standards he sets himself up to. Whenever Mr. Feraco asked us if we wanted to be remembered, even if it was a bad image/remembrance, I never thought about it from Dante’s perspective. I cannot fathom the amount of courage it took to go on with his story and let the whole world see. I am grateful to be able to read this and it has taught me about some aspects in my life that I need to change. I need to place more value in the life that I live and to stop taking things for granted.
Walking through the halls of high school I know that I’m not one hundred percent true to others. I myself fall short of the standards I set up and falter in that one hundred dedicated to me, at times due to my insecurities. Showing a different face or personality with different people seems like a mistake because everyone deserves to know the person that they hang out with. Why do people put walls up anyway? More often than not high school kids put on a different face than they show at home. Simply put, the outside world isn’t your family. What ever happened to being genuine and legitimate? Its hard for many to step out of their homes with true colors displayed for the rest of their peers and the media to judge and tell them that something is wrong with them. Constricted by society, it sometimes prevents us from reaching our full potential. We bring others down, and it may not even be verbally, everyone judges and forms an opinion of the person standing next to them, to feel some sort of comfort and satisfaction inside. I try to be as honest as I can with everyone I interact with, but it sometimes doesn’t work out. I feel like I tailor myself to benefit the relationship or act a certain way to illicit this and that response or reaction from another. It can be superficial, and I’ve seen many people let it define that its as real as it gets in high school. My true self I reserve for the closest, the ones I can share a true intimacy and passion for friendship. To me those matter the most. It doesn’t mean that I close myself to the outside world, but I’ll definitely make the lasting friendships a priority amongst others.
When I think about friendships I generally tend to think about the good memories and forget about the bad ones. Sometimes they resurface but I usually have a good laugh about it because it reminds me of how strong I’ve become, whether said experience has improved me or taught me a lesson. There have been some bitter memories, however. Relationships that weren’t lived to their fullest, ones that were lived with hints of regret. The ones that have ended or have slowly faded away usually are reminisced with sadness or shameful regret. In my mind I have registered a couple of people who I don’t associate with anymore. They were a constant negative influence in my life. Idealistically we remember the good memories because as human beings we just want to be happy. Everyone chooses their own flavors of happiness but no one strives to be sad, or unhappy. This happiness has extremes and lows, and passion that drives toward it depends on the person willing to give it.
If today was my last day, I would like people to remember me just the way I am. To me, there is no point for people to remember me at my best because that is not the way I commonly act. Instead of over expecting or over estimating me, I prefer people to remember the true me, which is the way I deserve to be remembered. For instance, I am kind of a person who enjoys and concentrates on the things I do. I usually ‘play hard, work hard.’ Like I study and work on my assignments hardly and seriously. And I hang out with my friends playfully and delightedly.
I behave differently around different people because they have different identities. Before my parents, I particularly mind my attitude and I behave filially. To my teachers, I remain respectful and polite. To my friends, I am nice, considerate and helpful. To my group mates, I keep in mind that I should be dutiful and responsible. I want to please and impress these people in the way I behave. And my ‘efforts’ have paid off – that most of these people consider me in the way I act before them. For instance, when I studied in Hong Kong, my old class teachers commented me as a ‘nice and polite’ student on my report card. My parents consider me as a filial daughter. My friends found that I am a great friend to meet. My old peers in Hong Kong found that I am a good partner because of my cooperative. I know they will just remember me in this way in the future because there is no reason for them to change their view towards me suddenly.
On the other hand, I act and think differently under different situation as well, for I do not see a set of solution that could fix all problems. Like when I work on mathematics problems, I work out the answers logically. As for the subject of Government, I study it through memorization. Or say if I am in danger, I would act particularly smart and alert in order to survive. But in normal school days, I would just remain sleepy. Or say when I study, I organize everything very well. But for my room, I ‘keep’ it messy because it feels like home in this way. To me, life is attitude. I consider myself bored if I just handle everything in the same way.
I'm very glad to hear you're interested! Japan is a fascinating country, both culturally and historically. I also applaud you for your skills in the language! Yes, seigi no mikata - the good guy.
I'm also glad to hear you liked the ending. I remembered I read a book on Konishi once, and dug it out of my bookshelf - I only wish I could have translated it better.
Thank you so much for reading, and thank you again for your feedback!
Oops, sorry. That was meant for a reply to Victoria...
As I sit near the bed of my grandfather who has been read his last rights I see a weak, fragile man. After I kiss his forehead and walk out door I look around the house. I see a large, two story house that my grandpa helped build so his kids, all nine of them including my dad, can have a more comfortable life. My grandpa came from Mexico and started his life here in America. He wanted to live the “American Dream.” He succeeded, he met my grandma made a family and retired.
Right now my grandpa does not look like the strong man that I remember him as. He is slowly leaving this world, but when I see him I see a weak grandpa. When I think about him, like I am now, the only figure that enters my mind is a strong Mexican man building a house. When you think of your role model do you think of a time when they were crying, or do you think of them when they were strong healthy and smiling.
I want people to remember me the way that I remember my grandpa. Maybe not building a house or anything like that but at a time when I was healthy and happy. The time when my team on the game to get into state for soccer at my last school. Even the time when I won something like a video game competition. Anytime as long as they remember me at my best then I’ll be happy.
I can understand the respect that you hold for your grandpa. My grandpa and grandma came to America with no money, and four kids to take care of.
Growing up, I basically had a simple Island life. My Aunt was a major influence on my life. She was a strong, polite, smart, passionate, and wise. She taught me basically how to survive on the island and to the situations that may occur. Whenever I was scared, she would comfort me. Whenever I was hungry, she went fishing or hunting for wild boar just so I may have a meal. My aunt would give me unconditional love or discipline, especially when I needed it. She taught me how to be a real man and provide for my family. She said that as a man, It was my job to make sure that everyone eats in the family and has a warm place to sleep. She always pushed me forward to handle problems as soon as possible, ultimately never letting me slack off in life.
Her wisdom was like no other. Her favorite quote was," Life don't wait for no man. Now get your boogie up and do something with your life." As much as her advice made me laugh, she was telling the truth. She basically, "beat some sense into me." I believe I would not be graduating high school if it wasn't for her support.
As the years go by, She had become older and eventually died from cancer. She fought a great battle, but in the end, God took her from me. Even when she was in agonizing pain, she still use to tell me," Let no one stop my from my goals." She always said," The Devil won't beat me." When she use to scream that in pain, I looked at my Aunt as the strongest person of seen thus far. Of course, I wept from sight of that at, especially since I was nine years old, but I still had pride for her. I will always remember her for her great strength. It did not matter how difficult life was to her. All that my aunt cared about was getting through it on her own two feet. This how I wan't to be remembered. When people think of my name, I want them to think of great strength just like my aunt. One Love is all that matters.
+ Are you everything you want to be to everyone you want?
Everything I want to be Ha Ha…
Birth: December 10, 1993
Age:1 month; eyes open into a new Eden A state of innocence, bliss, or ultimate happiness
Age 2 1/2: divorce- lost; why do I go to two separate houses for Christmas
Age: 5 five learn new skills speech, communication, fixing things
Age: 10 first glimpse in being a big kid, teeth falling out, 5th grade
Age: 13 the dark age where I thought I was a bad-est coolest kid out there
Age: 16 still underclassman, got a car
Age: 17 started and finished drivers ed/ dmv test passed on first try
Age: 18 December 10, 2011 the day I became a legal adult. I received luggage and was told “everyman should have a good luggage and don’t stay stationed in one area for too long, travel, experience life”
So here I am 12/13/11; 3 days after my birthday asking “Are you everything you want to be to everyone you want?” well I haven’t lived, I have only been alive for 18 years and 9 months in baby oven aka stomach but I can say everyone wants me to be a successful young individual and flourish in this tough world. Well it may only be the begging but I will be everything I want to be and everything people want me to be and MORE. I will thrive for bigger better to get greater and farther, expanding into new horizons.
“Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” – Unknown
Well here I am attempting to write in a different style changing it up. Please comment and Thank you for taking time to read.
As much as I hate to admit it I see myself all too much in the sinners we have encountered within The Inferno. I will say I am no saint- but I try to be a good person though. To see the assortment of sins in the book and to only look at your self and realize that you see those things within your self is disheartening to say the least. I am human and I do make mistakes, I am above no sin- but then again I think no one is. I heard once that recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it I do know of a good portion of my undesirable traits but to see that someone else in this case Dante has these downfalls makes me feel worse. Dante is this incredible poet, smarter in ways that I only wish I could be, talented, and his name has with stood the test of time- here is this incredible man who faces problems that I see within my self. If he couldn’t come to any resolve about his demons… then what chance do I?
One saying that I like to live my life by is “there is a time and a place for everything” meaning that all behaviors and actions have appropriate time in which they are expectable and times when they are not. For a good majority of my life I’ve had to create different “faces” not because I wanted to but out of necessity. I have to be mature and responsible in pep squad and in link crew to get things done, I can’t afford to be indecisive or silly Roxanne- or act how I am around my friends. I have to act differently around the different parts of my life that make up the world I live in. I never play people or try and deceive them, its just I adjust my personal to best fit the situation or the people around me. Never have I tried to hide my colors just blending them to best fit the place I’m currently at- like a chameleon.
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